Nik stepped in the break room, glancing around quickly, but it was empty; sad white tables facing the faded counter top, which held a microwave and a coffeemaker in desperate need of a good scrub. The fluorescent lights flickered above him. He stepped in, feeling a little awkward. It had been a few weeks but he still couldn’t shake the feeling since he wasn’t an intern for the paper, but they were using their office as a sort of base of operations. It almost felt as if he shouldn’t be using the break room or drinking the painfully bitter coffee.
Grabbing a mug, he poured out a cup of coffee anyway. Bad coffee was better than no coffee.
“Any left?” A girl popped her head in behind him, a friendly smile on her face as she entered. Her bright blond hair, darker at the roots, fell in perfectly styled waves down her back and she wore a trendy dress under her jacket. She reminded Nik of all those girls he saw in typical college movies, but then everyone in Arizona seemed to look like that.
The girl, one of the interns at the paper, stepped up next to him and reached for the bag of coffee in the cupboard.
“I swear, people in this office drink more coffee than all of Seattle.” Her smile was soft, easy, welcoming.
Nik hadn’t really spoken to any of the interns much. They were usually busy with their own work, and since Nik and Jennifer were only borrowing space, he hadn’t really seen the point.
“Maybe it’s all the sun,” he suggested, and the girl laughed.
“Coffee doesn’t keep you hydrated. It just keeps you perky.”
Clearly Nik wasn’t drinking enough coffee then. He didn’t think this girl needed any, though, from the way she bounced in. He hesitated a second as the girl filled the pot and started another batch. He’d never been good at the small talk and making friends of life. It had been easier with Rae, who was more outgoing, who knew what to say to people.
“I’m Nik,” he offered finally as she wiped down the counter with swift, purposeful swipes of a towel.
She smiled. “Brooke.” Someone called something from the main room, and she wrinkled her nose. “That’s me. Back to work.”
She tossed the towel in the sink and breezed out of the break room as easily as she’d come. Nik allowed himself a second to envy her easy ability to talk to people, but he returned to his desk without waiting for another intern to introduce themselves awkwardly in the break room. He had a lot of photos to edit.
Nik sat down at his desk, the borrowed computer open to the editing software where pictures of Tiernan were splashed across in various stages of editing.
“How’d it go?” Jennifer stepped up behind him, sipping a cup of coffee that had obviously not come from the break room.
Nik’s mind flashed back to Tiernan’s hands on his hips, fingers brushing against his rib cage, and his heart thudded at the memory. He hadn’t really analyzed what had happened the other day. He didn’t want to analyze it, beat it to death with questions and uncertainties that didn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things. He’d wanted it; Tiernan had wanted it. That was all that mattered.
“Fine,” he managed to say, looking away. It didn’t help that the only other thing to look at was his computer and Tiernan’s face.
“You get there okay?”
He shrugged. “The light rail lets out close but not that close when it’s a million degrees out.”
“I said you could borrow my car,” Jennifer pointed out, bending over to look at the pictures.
“Can’t drive. Don’t have a license anyway.”
She tilted her head to look at him. “You don’t have a license?”
“Don’t need one in New York or Chicago.” Phoenix had the light rail, which had been extended to most of the surrounding areas outside of downtown. He heard rumors from people at the paper that the plan was to extend it all the way to Carefree, wherever that was. It definitely wasn’t the New York subway, but it was better than nothing.
“God, it’s like a porno,” she said instead of answering him. Nik’s heart jumped in his throat.
“What is?”
“He really is pretty.” Jennifer sighed, straightening up. “And I guess it’s a credit to your skill that you made him look so good.”
“He already looks like that,” Nik muttered, thinking of Tiernan’s abs under his hands, the bulge in his swim suit.
He hadn’t texted Tiernan, though it had only been a couple days. He wasn’t sure what he would say aside from, it was good getting off with you — want to do it again? That might not be too bad. Tiernan might not even mind for all he knew.
The only problem was work. Or, well, his image at work. Even though he would spend most of the summer with Jennifer, he was actually interning for Hot Shot Sports magazine. It was one of the biggest sports’ magazines in the country, and Jennifer’s articles were already appearing online with his photos. If he impressed them, maybe he could turn this internship into a job. Maybe he could start freelancing while he was still in school. In order to do that, he had to be professional, and jerking off the magazine subject in a locker room was not professional.
On the other hand, no one as hot as Tiernan had ever so much as looked at him, and wouldn’t he be an idiot not to hook up with him? He wasn’t at school or at home where people would care. Fuck, he didn’t know. He needed to focus on the internship.
Jennifer smirked at his answer and took a sip of her coffee. “I bet.”
Nik chose to ignore that. “So trials are next week?”
“Mhm,” she agreed, pulling up a chair from a nearby desk. “We leave for Florida on Saturday. Trials last all week.”
“So after trials, then what?”
“If Pace makes it, there’ll be a three week training period before he leaves for France.”
“If? I thought he was the best in the country.” Nik frowned, glancing at the photograph of Tiernan leaning against the sinks. That had been minutes before he’d jumped Nik.
Jennifer took another gulp of coffee. “That doesn’t always mean they make it. Pace went to trials four years ago and he didn’t make it then.”
“He didn’t? What happened?” Apparently Nik hadn’t read his Wikipedia page closely enough.
“He finished seventh in two of his events and tenth in another. Only the top two make the team in each event.”
“So he just wasn’t good enough?”
She shrugged. “I heard he was partying too much back then. He was only nineteen. You do stupid things when you’re younger. I think he has a better chance this time. The alcohol rumors have stopped, anyway.”
Nik wasn’t sure what to make of that. He’d been under the impression that Tiernan was one hundred percent committed to swimming, but even Olympic athletes had lives, he supposed.
“You’ve met him,” she said. “He seems like he’s in a good place, doesn’t he?”
Nik couldn’t say. People could hide a lot, that he was sure of. “I guess.” He wondered if the other day had been Tiernan’s toned down version of ‘partying.’ He almost didn’t care. It had been good.
His phone vibrated with a text and he pulled it out.
Call me now Nikos
A text from Andre. Nik ignored it and shoved the phone away. It was the third text today that Andre had sent him. He had no intention of calling his brother. He could already hear the (very one-sided) conversation where Andre would call him a selfish little bitch, and demand he come home and “contribute” to the family.
Nik’s chest tightened every time he thought of calling, of Andre saying he was useless and Dad should have taken Nik when he left. Sometimes he wished he had.
“Booty call?” Jennifer joked, finishing her coffee and checking the time on her phone.
“I wish,” he muttered. “Just my brother.” Being an asshole. There was no need to drag other people into his problems. That was something that would have gotten him thrown in foster care as a kid.
“Well, I’ll let you get back to your editing and your brother. Tell him hi.”
Nik wouldn’t, but he nodded anyway. She left him at the computer and he ignored his phone buzzing again. Andre would still be pissed later and Nik had work to do.
Andre’s pissed
Nik rolled his eyes at the text Rae sent him as he stood waiting for the light rail. Even though the sun was low, it was still hot out, an oppressive heat that made him want to tear all his clothes off and jump in the first pool he saw. He’d just missed the train so he would have to wait another five minutes to get out of this heat.
What else is new? He typed in response. He hadn’t read the four other texts he’d gotten from Andre since that afternoon. It couldn’t be anything good. Rae always said that avoidance wouldn’t solve his problems, but so far, it was a hell of a lot better than lying down and taking it.
Leaning against a pillar, he wiped sweat off his forehead. He’d thought that, being a dry heat, he wouldn’t sweat so much in Arizona, but apparently it didn’t matter how dry it was when it was a hundred and eighteen degrees out.
He says you’re being an inconsiderate fucking dickbag
Nik wasn’t that surprised. Pursing his lips, he typed in his response slowly. Why are you telling me this?
It wasn’t Rae that wrote back but another text from Andre.
Listen you little shit mom’s sick and its your responsibility to help we helped you stop being a self centered fucker and come home screw your stupid art school and get with the real world nick
The lack of punctuation was enough to drive Nik crazy. He ignored the misspelling of his name for auto-correct, but he couldn’t ignore the anger bubbling inside him as he read Andre’s text. Andre helped him? Andre had pushed him around, called him names, locked him in the closet for four hours once. Rae said that was what brothers did, but they’d never done it to her.
Fuck you Andre, he typed, not caring about the consequences. You helped me sure. You helped me realize I had to get the fuck out of there. Take good care of mom like you never did me.
He sent it with an angry jab at the screen. When would Andre get it through his head that Nik wasn’t coming home? He didn’t owe Andre anything for bothering to make sure they didn’t die growing up. He hadn’t done much more than that.
Anger tingled under his skin as Nik glared at the screen, and he found himself opening a new message instead. He wasn’t sure what made him do it, but he pulled up Tiernan’s number.
You free?
The screen above his head told Nik the next train was two minutes away. No text came from Andre or Tiernan and the train screen changed to one minute away. For a second, he wasn’t sure Tiernan was going to answer him, if he’d even saved his number. He might have thought Nik was some random person texting him.
As a bird, came Tiernan’s response a second later. Nik let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.
The train pulled around the corner and Nik bit his lip as he typed in his response.
Wanna meet?
It was crazy. He was crazy. He barely knew Tiernan; they’d hooked up once in some weird fluke of the moment. Nik still hadn’t quite explained the last time, the desperate urge he’d felt when Tiernan had kissed him. It had felt good to be wanted, though, for just a moment. It had felt good to stop thinking about everything in his life. He wondered if he could have that again.
The train screeched to a stop in front of him and a blast of cold air hit his face as the door opened. He didn’t get inside, waiting for Tiernan’s reply.
It came a few seconds later and Nik’s heart jumped excitedly.
5038 Hardy Dr
Pulling up the address, Nik checked the maps on the light rail and turned, crossing to the other side of the platform instead.
Tiernan’s apartment building looked like it came straight out of a magazine, much nicer than the apartment Nik was staying in for the summer. Palm trees surrounded the whole lot, a volleyball net was set up over lush grass, and the pool glistened, white umbrellas hovering over empty chairs. Jennifer had said some professional swimmers had sponsors, which meant they got paid a hell of a lot more than a magazine intern did. Nik was lucky to get paid at all. Tiernan must have had some good sponsors.
Nik checked the apartment number Tiernan had sent him. It wasn’t an apartment building like Nik was used to — towering over the street with a buzzer. Instead, it sprawled in separate buildings with four apartments in each. The landscaping he passed was pristine and the pool sparkled beyond the fence in the setting sun.
Near the pool, Tiernan had said, around the back of the complex. Number twelve two-oh-seven. Second floor. There were only two floors in each building.
Nik found it with only minimal confusion. All the buildings looked identical, from the beige stucco to the same exact number and position of windows in the front.
Nik knocked on the door, stepping back to wait. He didn’t let himself second-guess why he was there. If he did that, he would turn around and leave, letting Andre get the best of him. Luckily, he didn’t have to wait long. Tiernan opened the door a minute later, an easy smile on his face.
“Come in,” he said, stepping back to allow Nik inside.
It was nice and cool in the apartment, and Nik took a moment to take in the main room. It was bigger than his apartment, with nicer furniture. Beige carpet spread from the living room to the hallway. A large TV faced the squishy brown couch, and the blinds over the sliding glass door clacked against each other as Nik stepped over and pushed them aside. The balcony overlooked the pool, sunlight glittering off the water, palm trees swaying in the breeze.
There was no pretense this time. Nik wasn’t here to take photographs, or do an interview, or wonder who painted the picture on the wall. He could feel Tiernan behind him as he stared out the window, but Tiernan didn’t speak. They weren’t there to talk.
Turning, Nik took in Tiernan for the first time, really looked at him, since arriving. Tiernan didn’t seem surprised that Nik was there. He simply stood in the middle of the living room, having followed him halfway to the balcony window.
“You look… different,” he said finally.
“It’s the clothes.” Tiernan smiled and Nik realized he was right. He’d never seen Tiernan wearing actual clothes. They weren’t fancy — just a faded blue shirt and a pair of jeans — but it made him look more human, less god-like than he did when he only had on his suit. Tiernan tilted his head to the side. “You want a drink?”
“No,” Nik said simply, reaching for the hem of his shirt and pulling it off. He hadn’t come here to drink.