“I’m a little confused,” Nik said, for what felt like the hundredth time this summer. “What is this one?”
They’d been ushered in the Press area, a little roped off area near the pool. Nik could see Tiernan talking with his coach, but Tiernan didn’t look for him. He’d never gotten a response to his text, but he figured Tiernan was probably busy or sleeping. His excitement about what Marion had said had worn off, and the need to tell someone had dwindled with sleep. There was no need to get anyone’s hopes up, least of all his.
Jennifer was scribbling notes down on her pad, jostled into Nik by some other press person trying to get a better spot. She shot them a glare and rolled her eyes.
“It’s a Heat. In the Heat, everyone who prequalified for trials competes. In some events, the top fifteen or sixteen go to the semi-finals. In longer events, four hundred meters or longer, they just go to the finals. Top two in each event gets a spot on the Olympic team.”
“So if Tiernan isn’t in the top two, he won’t go to the Olympics?” Nik glanced over to where Tiernan had climbed on his block.
“No,” she agreed, squinting against the sun. It was hotter than sin and sticky as a, well, something Nik shouldn’t have been thinking about in public. “But this isn’t his only event. He’s still got the hundred meter backstroke and the hundred meter freestyle.”
“Oh. I hope he makes it.”
Jennifer laughed. “Yeah, or else you and I are headed back to New York for the rest of the summer.”
“I really hope he makes it,” he muttered. It would be much harder to avoid his family in the same city.
“They’re about to start,” she said, touching his arm. “Get your camera ready.”
Nik lifted the viewfinder to his eyes, searching out Tiernan on his block. He could see the rise and fall of his chest, the steely glint in his eye as he bent to take his position. Tiernan had never looked like this in any practice Nik had seen. His body was taut, like a bow string, ready to spring into action.
Jesus, that was hot, Nik found himself thinking as he snapped the photo.
The gun fired, and the swimmers shot from their perches, hitting the water in smooth dives. Around them, the crowd went wild, screaming and yelling, and Nik couldn’t help glancing behind him. His school didn’t have sports teams, and he’d never been to any kind of game as a kid. He’d never really thought about what it would be like, never thought about the frenzy that rose in large groups of people.
The swimmers raced towards the other end of the pool, and Nik could barely see Tiernan amongst the splashing, his form marred by other swimmers. The screen across the pool had an aerial view, but by the time Nik figured out which lane Tiernan was in, the match was over.
“What? Did he win?” he asked Jennifer, who seemed to know exactly what had happened.
“He got first place, so he’ll go to semi-finals,” she said, “but there’s still a bunch more heats to go. I mean, there are over a hundred people who prequalified for this event.”
“Holy shit,” Nik breathed, but caught himself. Jennifer didn’t seem to notice.
“Either way, the semi-final is this afternoon. Maybe we can get a comment for an update. Come on.”
She muscled her way out of the press area, and Nik followed. Tiernan was pulling himself out of the pool as they got closer, shaking hands with other swimmers, accepting their congratulations, but he didn’t really smile until his coach shook his hand and said something Nik couldn’t hear.
Somehow, Jennifer sneaked past the barriers, and Nik darted away from the gaze of security. He didn’t think they were supposed to be by the pool. The officials were already shunting everyone off so they could do another heat.
“Tiernan.” Jennifer caught him as he turned for the locker room. His coach didn’t look happy at her arrival, crossing his arms with a disapproving look. “Congratulations. Anything to say before the semi-finals?”
Tiernan merely smiled. “Just want to thank my coach is all, for always believing in me.” He grinned at Nik for a moment before his coach hauled him off to the locker rooms.
“That’s good enough,” Jennifer said, tugging Nik in the other direction. “I’ll get this written up. Send me that photo. We’ll make it a bulletin on the website.”
Nik watched Tiernan disappear in the locker room. Tiernan would have understood last night, because he had someone who believed in him.
Nik wasn’t going to ask this time as they crowded into the press area for the semi-finals. Jennifer would probably smack him if he asked what the difference was between the semi-finals and the finals. The only thing the internet had told him was that the top swimmers from the semi-finals went to the finals, and competed again. Then the top two from the finals went to the Olympics.
It was, if possible, even hotter out than it had been before. He was going to have to shower again just to feel clean. His shirt stuck to his skin in uncomfortable places, and he plucked at the neck.
“Top four,” Jennifer said over the rumblings of the crowd, drawing Nik’s gaze away from where Tiernan was adjusting the waist on his shorts, fingers skimming under the skin-tight fabric. It already sat as low as possible on his hips, the V clear-cut at his hips.
“Huh?” He really should have been paying more attention to taking photos than ogling the swimmers.
“Top four move on to the finals,” she said as if she knew he didn’t know.
He nodded and took a few photos of Tiernan at the edge of the pool. He looked as focused as before, rolling his shoulders and stretching his arms. His coach was there again, talking into his ear as Tiernan nodded repeatedly.
“What are his odds?”
“Pretty good,” she allowed, “but it’s not his best event.”
Nik turned back to the pool as the swimmers mounted the blocks. Glancing up at the big screen, he made a note of Tiernan’s row this time. Fourth down from the top.
The gun went off and the crowd screamed behind Nik as the swimmers dove into the pool. He watched the overhead monitor closely this time, as Tiernan pulled ahead. It was mesmerizing, the way the swimmers moved, a rhythm as they reached the other end and pushed off again. His attention was locked on Tiernan, his heart racing as he reached the end of the pool and slapped the marker. Immediately on the screen, numbers popped up over rows.
“Third place!” Jennifer yelled over the crowd, grinning at Nik. “He’s in the finals.”
Nik couldn’t help smiling as he watched the screen. For a moment, the camera focused on Tiernan’s face, bright and happy as he shook people’s hands and took the towel his coach handed him. Nik could only imagine that feeling. Maybe someday he’d know it too.
Nik’s hotel room was eerily silent, aside from the hum of the air conditioner, and he couldn’t find anything decent on TV to watch. For a moment, he considered calling Rae, to pretend for just a moment that everything was okay. They could talk about the internship, about how hot swimmers were, how amazing it was to see his photos on a real magazine’s website. Mostly, he just wanted to talk to her, but he didn’t call; it wouldn’t be like that if he did. It had been, the first year he went away to school, but it couldn’t be now with their mom’s sickness hanging over everyone’s head.
He felt restless, sitting in his room. He couldn’t sit there and keep thinking about Rae, so he left his room and wandered downstairs, past the gym where he caught sight of a several swimmers working out. Outside, the pool was empty. Probably closed.
It seemed the only place in the hotel that wasn’t bustling with people, so Nik ducked out the back door and wandered over to the edge of the pool. As he stood there, he realized it wasn’t as empty as he’d thought. Someone was floating in the dark, drifting slowly. He caught sight of Nik, though, and quickly righted himself.
“Sorry,” Nik said. “I didn’t think anyone was — Tiernan?”
Tiernan moved into the light from the back door, water up to his chest.
“Nik?” he asked, swimming over to the edge.
“What are you doing?” Nik asked, surprised to find him here. He hadn’t bothered to message him again thinking he’d probably be too distracted to reply. He would have been. “Training?”
“No.” Tiernan shook his head. “No, no. Coach would kill me. I’m supposed to be relaxing.”
“In the pool, where you are all day?” Nik asked. He hesitated a second, glancing back at the door, but no one had noticed them out there, so he sat down on the concrete near the edge of the pool.
Tiernan pulled himself out of the water, dripping as he sat next to Nik. He wasn’t wearing his usual competition shorts. Instead, he had on regular swim trunks — blue with palm trees on them.
“It’s the only place I don’t have to think about everything.”
“Are you worried?” Nik asked at length, brushing his fingers over the water.
“I wish people would stop asking me that,” Tiernan said, wiping away some water on his face.
Nik grimaced. “Sorry, I shouldn’t — ”
Tiernan shook his head. “It’s just, I’m usually not worried until they ask me that.” He smiled easily and pushed his hair to the side where it stuck. “But if you want an answer, yeah, I’m worried.”
Nik frowned, watching Tiernan swish his feet in the water. “But you’re the best swimmer in the country.”
Tiernan shrugged, making a face. “It doesn’t mean as much as you think. Every meet’s different. I could be first today and last tomorrow.”
“Must be a lot of pressure,” Nik muttered. He may not have understood sports, but he understood pressure.
Tiernan smiled. “Yeah.” He didn’t elaborate and Nik didn’t expect him to. He shook away whatever shadow had settled over them with a nudge to Nik’s side. “How are you enjoying Florida?”
“It’s fucking awful,” Nik said, shaking his head while Tiernan grinned. “I almost miss Arizona. I can’t believe I said that.”
“It’s a dry heat,” Tiernan said, quoting everyone Nik had ever met in Arizona. “Why don’t you take a dip? It’s nice in there.”
“I can’t really swim,” Nik admitted, frowning at the look he got in return, surprise and confusion.
“You can’t swim?”
“Well, I mean, I wouldn’t drown if you threw me in,” Nik clarified, feeling stupid. “But I can’t really swim.”
“You never had lessons or anything?”
“Didn’t have money,” he muttered. He hadn’t done a lot of things other kids had. In the summers when they had taken swimming lessons, he’d hid out at the library so he wouldn’t be home when his mom got there or so that Andre wouldn’t find him and toss him in a dumpster.
Tiernan was silent for a moment, looking thoughtful. Nik hoped he wasn’t thinking how sad his childhood must have been. He didn’t need pity.
“I’ll teach you,” he said eventually, decisively, and Nik laughed.
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m fine.”
Tiernan tilted his head to the side. “You’re covering the Olympic swim competition. You should know how to swim, at least a few strokes. I’m a good teacher, I promise.”
“I don’t have a swim suit,” he pointed out, gesturing at his clothes.
“Strip,” Tiernan said simply then grinned.
“I don’t think — ”
“Nik,” Tiernan interrupted him, leaning into him. “Just one stroke.”
Nik couldn’t tell if that was a come-on or if he was serious. Either way, he huffed and stood up, pulling off his shirt and unbuttoning his jeans.
Tiernan slid back into the water, floating back a few feet as Nik balled up his jeans and tossed them onto a plastic lounge chair.
Tiernan smirked. “This isn’t just an excuse to get you down to your underwear.”
Nik had wanted to learn how to swim, back in elementary school when kids would talk about it school, in their ‘what I did over summer break’ reports. As he’d gotten older, he’d learned how to doggy paddle and float, and that was all he could learn at a public pool.
He lowered himself into the pool carefully. It was much deeper than he’d expected. Tiernan was standing, but then, he was taller than Nik. Nik held to the edge uneasily. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually swum in a pool.
“Hey,” Tiernan said, taking Nik’s hand from the edge and keeping a hold of it as he led them to shallower water. “You’re not gonna drown. I promise.”
Nik hated feeling like this, like he wasn’t in control, but he forced himself to nod. He felt better once his feet could touch the bottom.
“You know how to float, right?” Tiernan asked, and Nik shot him a look.
“Yes, I know how to float.”
“Just checking. It’s really the first thing they teach you, mostly for safety reasons. Can’t drown if you’re floating.”
“When did you first learn?” Nik asked as Tiernan guided him onto his back. He felt out of his element, his feet off the ground, water enveloping his body. Tiernan’s hands kept a light but firm touch against his back, helping him stay up.
“I was five. I grew up in Vegas. Pools everywhere, so my parents put me in lessons early. Then it turned out I was good at it, so I joined the swim team in high school.”
Water rushed up to Nik’s ears and he fought the urge to flip back upright.
“Alright, I’m gonna teach you the backstroke,” Tiernan told him. “It’s really easy. You kick with your feet. Small kicks, and you move your arms backwards kind of like a windmill.”
“This feels stupid,” Nik said as he tried it, but he moved through the water, surprising himself. Tiernan drifted alongside him.
“Feels stupid but it’s a good stroke to know ‘cause when you’re tired, you can just float. Good in case you get swept into the ocean.”
“Why would I get swept into the ocean?” Nik asked, trying a few more strokes. It was a lot easier than he’d expected.
Tiernan shrugged, stopping Nik before he could hit the wall behind him. Nik let his body drift downward. They were in the deep end again, but he could keep himself afloat, treading water.
“I don’t know; that’s just what they tell you.”
“Is this what you always wanted to do?” Nik asked as he propped himself up against the ledge. Tiernan moved beside him. It was cooler in the water, he admitted, where he couldn’t feel the sweat. Water lapped at the edge of the pool, making a soft sound.
“I never really thought about it,” Tiernan admitted. His face was partially in shadow, the light blocked by Nik’s head. “It was the one thing I was better at than my sister. It was something I could win, something my parents were proud of. I guess I just got lucky and found something I liked.”
“Would you do it again if you had a choice?”
Tiernan licked his lips and smiled. “I would do it again and again and again until somebody stopped me.”
“Even though your family isn’t here?”
Tiernan’s eyebrows furrowed and he took a deep breath. Nik frowned. Maybe he’d stepped over the line of what was acceptable for two people who’d slept together a few times.
“It’s not about them. Sure, it’d be nice if they showed up, and maybe they will. Maybe they’ll come to the Olympics if I make it this time. I disappointed them last time, but I don’t plan on doing it again.”
Nik shouldn’t have brought it up. He looked away from Tiernan, back towards the hotel. From here, he could see the window into the gym. Most of the guys had left now, leaving an eerily empty room filled with exercise equipment.
“Does your family support your photography career?” Tiernan asked, splashing Nik lightly to get his attention.
Nik wiped the water off his face as he shook his head. “Not really. My brother says I shouldn’t go to school for something I could learn in a book.”
“Well, you don’t have to go to school for it. Lots of people don’t.”
“I want to go to school,” Nik said, maybe too aggressively. He couldn’t help it. “I don’t care how much it costs or if it’s pointless for this profession. I want a degree.”
“Has anybody else gotten one?”
Nik shook his head and didn’t respond. He’d be the first, not that anyone in his family found that impressive. Andre and Seth said it was a waste of time and money and that he should just join the construction businesses like them. Nik wasn’t the type to walk around with a tool belt and hammers and other tools he didn’t know the name or purpose of. Rae was the only one who’d told him to go, who’d given him the push he really needed to apply.
He looked up at the touch of Tiernan’s hand to his jaw.
“Then you should get yours. Prove them all wrong.”
“Is that what you’re doing?”
Tiernan shrugged. “I’m proving it to myself too.” He had drifted closer somehow without Nik noticing. His entire face was in shadow now, but Nik could still make out his features. He saw the slight quirk to his lips, almost a smile. It made something nervous, excited, flutter deep in Nik’s chest.
“I hope you make it tomorrow,” Nik said after a second, feeling the way the water rippled as Tiernan moved closer.
“Me too,” Tiernan agreed, leaning in and kissing Nik.
His skin tasted like chlorine, but Nik was more focused on the slow slide of Tiernan’s lips against his, tongue darting across his bottom lip, gently opening up his mouth and licking inside. Tiernan’s hand on his jaw kept him from floating back involuntarily at the push of Tiernan’s body against his. It wasn’t a leading kiss, not hinting at more for once. Something stirred in Nik’s stomach, something unfamiliar but not necessarily bad.
He breathed out slowly when Tiernan pulled away, licking his lips slowly and meeting his gaze. Nik almost didn’t want him to go. It was a strange thought, unbidden, but he didn’t hate it. It was nice to talk to someone who didn’t judge, someone who listened, who could relate.
“I have to get to bed,” Tiernan said after a beat. “Big day tomorrow.”
“And the day after that,” Nik replied. “And the day after that.”
Tiernan smiled and nodded, drifting toward the ladder on the side of the pool. “The life of a swimmer.”
Nik followed him out of the pool, grabbing a fluffy white towel from a pile on a nearby table. It wasn’t as humid now that he was all wet.
“I’ll see you at the pool,” Tiernan said as he left, swinging the towel over his shoulders and leaving Nik to grab his clothes from the chair and tie the towel around his waist. Okay, so Florida wasn’t so terrible, as long as Tiernan was there. Smiling to himself, he grabbed his shoes and headed for the door. Maybe he’d sleep better tonight.