Aw ya, rancheros y rancheras, it’s time for a little polling data about everybody’s favourite subject, Canadian Literature!

The luckiest character in CanLit

has to be David from Earle Birney’s ‘David’

because David would be safely dead

before having to read Earle Birney’s ‘David.’

The most beloved character in CanLit

is, for sure, Chanis MacGovernor

from The MacGovernor Tales, the thrifty

merchant who ‘taught Canada how to save!’

The most grateful characters in CanLit

are all the ones not named Morag,

while the saddest ones are the characters

who’ve never had sex with Leonard Cohen.

The sexiest character in CanLit

would have to be be either Reverend Cocksome

from Niagara Love or Poundy DeLaGrace

from Destin du Pays, Destin d’Ohhh.