Basil

The discovery of the basil plant was not

made by British actor Basil Rathbone,

but by an ordinary guy from Boston

who was just still Basil from the block.

It was, as they say in the plant-birth biz,

‘licorice-y.’ Not really your kind of thing,

you confessed, after saying I ‘made up’

that ‘stuff about humans needing affection.’

You can’t hate someone for saying ‘We were

together for a long time, but were we,

like, ever, really together?,’ but it sure

helps you appreciate arena football.

I learned to hate basil, called it buttfool,

delaware parsley, poor man’s toback,

while I sat weeping in Old Navy pants.

It’s hard to hate wearing Old Navy pants.