Mon pays c’est ne pas un pays c’est $100 pour voir Bon Iver.

Oddsmakers ask, what will happen sooner:

will a Canadian team win the Stanley Cup

or will Canadians develop new interest

in the novels of Robertson Davies?

The unmalled parts of Edmonton are cold,

my friend, and for reasons I don’t know,

the Cinnabon franchises in Montreal closed,

giving the city the nickname Russia.

Limited atonement, one of the five points

of Calvinism, is what Canadians

think of as ‘catnip.’ Heaven is the ground

where the Winnipeg Victorias still play.

I, of course, have never read Fifth Business,

because pop music is better. But, unlike

the speaker of Rod Stewart’s ‘Maggie May,’

I definitely could have tried a lot more.