Ornithologists believe the ‘laughing seagull’ is laughing at blackbirds for that stupid Beatles song about them.

When I turn and say I ‘hate’ the Beatles,

don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean it that way.

I just mean that I hate their horrible

music. That’s it. Just their horrible music.

When I think of the Beatles’ hit songs –

from ‘Oopie Doopie Bee’ to ‘O Deirdre,’

from ‘Mrs. Medwin’s Sunday Chutney’

to ‘Step Right Up, Sidney Dear’ – I wince.

Not because their songs are poorly written

or performed in an inadequate fashion.

For a group so drug-addled they could not

perform live, the Beatles made hit records!

It just makes me wince. Maybe that’s just me.

I’ve seen people singing classic Beatles songs –

from ‘Hey, Moon Cat!’ to ‘Love Is So Lovely’ –

and they all seemed perfectly happy to me.