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DIALOGUE TAGS

 

When I look back at some of my first manuscripts, guess what I see? Lots of mistakes in punctuating my dialogue!

I share that so that you can understand that many authors struggle in this area. The good news is, like all punctuation rules, you can learn these too.

So, if you’re not sure when to use a comma or period, where to put the quotation marks, or how to use an ellipsis with your character’s dialogue, read on.

There are three types of dialogue tags used in fiction: said tags, action tags, and narrative or thought tags. The word tag simply means that you’re adding extra information to a sentence as a way to label the dialogue so that the reader knows who said it.

 

Start a new paragraph each time you have a new speaker or new character’s action.

Keep a character’s actions and dialogue in the same paragraph. If a new character speaks or acts, start a new paragraph.

The following example is confusing because there are paragraphs that have more than one character speaking. Don’t do this!

 

Logan yelled out Zaq’s open door. “Check under the hood, Eli.” Eli gestured to the van. “The doors are locked!” He could pop the hood if he got on the ground under the engine, but he’d need a long screwdriver, and Riggs didn’t have any tools. “Do you have a spare key?” Riggs asked.

“No. And I’m not going to break a window, either, Logan, so don’t suggest it.” Logan said, “If you did break a window, I could hotwire it.”

 

To fix this, we would start a new paragraph for each character’s speech and/or actions.

 

Logan yelled out Zaq’s open door. “Check under the hood, Eli.”

Eli gestured to the van. “The doors are locked!” He could pop the hood if he got on the ground under the engine, but he’d need a long screwdriver. And Riggs didn’t have any tools.

“Do you have a spare key?” Riggs asked.

“No. And I’m not going to break a window, either, Logan, so don’t suggest it,” Eli said.

“If you did break a window, I could hotwire it,” Logan said.1

 

Punctuating Dialogue That is Part of the Surrounding Sentence

There are some instances when the dialogue or quotation requires no tag because it is part of the surrounding sentence.

 

When the audience finally settles down, he [Peeta] finally chokes out a quiet “Thank you” and returns to his seat.2

 

Mark said that his suit was “not the nicest one on the dance floor.”

 

Punctuating Said Tags

A said tag assigns the dialogue to a speaker by using the word “said” or a variation of that word (asked, yelled, whispered, etc.). A said tag is connected to the dialogue with a comma, unless the dialogue is a question or requires an exclamation point. When using a said tag, the pronoun must be lowercase unless you are using a proper name. Pay attention to the underlined parts of the examples below for proper punctuation.

 

“I’m sorry,” the girl said.

 

“I did,” his father said, laughing.3

 

“I do,” Father said.

 

“I am the President of the United States,” Abraham said.

 

“What do you want?” she asked.

 

“Since when is cutting class a national emergency?” Derek asked.4

 

“Leave me alone!” he screamed.

 

“Leave me alone!” Mike screamed.

 

“I can’t believe I’m telling you this,” Mindy said, “but I’m one of them.”

 

In that last example, the said tag divided the sentence, so a comma was used on both sides of the said tag. If you do this, make sure the division falls in a natural place for your character to pause. Read the dialogue out loud to see what sounds best.

Another way to write that same sentence would be to divide it into two sentences.

 

“I can’t believe I’m telling you this,” Mindy said. “I’m one of them.”

 

You could also combine action with your said tag.

 

Mindy took a deep breath and said, “I can’t believe I’m telling you this, but I’m one of them.”

 

Punctuating Action and Thought Tags

Action and thought tags are complete sentences that identify the speaker by what they are doing, thinking, or describing. Because we see a character act or think in the same paragraph as dialogue, we know that person is the one speaking.

Since action tags and thought tags are sentences, they are punctuated like sentences.

 

Action tag: Krista rolled her eyes. “What do you want, Paul?”

 

Action tag: “Get out!” Beth slammed the door in her mother’s face.

 

Thought tag: “You called them, didn’t you?” I was so mad, I could hardly even see straight. “You called and told them we were coming here.”5

 

Thought tag: “Don’t worry about it.” But I don’t think I meant it.

 

Thought and action tag: This reminded me of a nightmare I’d had when I was a little kid. I put on a brave face. “I’ll go.”

 

Action tag: “If you want to come, get in.” Kyle opened the car door. “Just don’t be mad at me if you get in trouble for missing curfew.”

 

Said tag with action: “If you want to come,” Kyle said, opening the car door, “get in, but don’t be mad at me if you get in trouble for missing curfew.”

 

Incorrect: “If you want to come,” Kyle opened the car door, “get in, but don’t be mad at me if you get in trouble for missing curfew.”

 

That last example is incorrect because the inserted action is an independent clause stuck in the middle of another independent clause. Commas aren’t strong enough to do the task without the help of a dialogue tag.

If you want to show action that is quickly interrupting dialogue, use em dashes. Since the break belongs to the sentence, however, rather than the dialogue inside, the em dashes must appear outside the quotation marks.

 

“If you want to come”—Kyle opened the car door—“get in, but don’t be mad at me if you get in trouble for missing curfew.”

 

Here are some more examples of using em dashes to interrupt dialogue with action.

 

“Before we start”—the knight plunged one of the blades into the grassy soil—“we need to go over the basics.”

 

“With the casserole in to bake”—Rachel closed the oven door—“we will be ready to eat in twenty minutes.”

 

You can also use em dashes to interrupt dialogue with a thought tag.

 

“I’m telling you”—and I can’t believe I was going to admit this—“it was my fault.”

 

Another way to write action interrupting that original sentence would be to divide it into two sentences.

 

Action tag: “If you want to come, get in.” Kyle opened the car door. “But don’t be mad at me if you get in trouble for missing curfew.”

 

Whenever you divide a sentence of dialogue, make sure the division falls in a natural place for your character to pause. Read the dialogue out loud to see what sounds best.