I have discovered the secret to spiritual peace and total happiness, and I’m going to reveal it in this chapter.

You might be thinking right now, “Spiritual peace and total happiness are nice and all, but what about the abs? Can I just get the abs?”

Well, yes, you can, but it’s going to be a lot harder if you don’t get your mind right.

I try like hell to be happy every day—happy on my own terms, without needing anybody else’s praise or affections. Being happy is like being fit: it takes work; it takes exercise. When I stop working on my personal happiness, I start to let in feelings that lead to unhealthy choices—being unkind to people, not prioritizing my own well-being—and sometimes I start to lose who I really am deep down. Being unhappy is a sign that I’m not working hard enough.

Happiness is, after all, a state of mind, and the only person who has the ability to change your mind—the only person who can make you happy—is you. In Eastern philosophy, it’s called “living your dharma”—the feeling of contentment that comes with knowing that you are doing what you were put on Earth to do. That’s what this chapter is designed to help you achieve through attracting the kinds of energies that will bring you closer to your higher self instead of your ego.

“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.”

—DALE CARNEGIE

Understand Your “Mind River”

When I’m racing, I can’t afford to think about all the terrible things that could happen to me, or what I don’t want to be doing. I have to focus on what I do want! A vehicle naturally follows its driver’s eyes, and glancing at the dangers ahead or alongside me is a sure way of driving right into them. A driver must always look at the openings, not the obstacles.

The same is true in life. If your thoughts are always pointing toward the negative—if you’re repeatedly pondering your own shortcomings, dwelling on your failures, or seeing the obstacles up ahead of you—you will inevitably crash right into them.

I like to think of it this way: Our thoughts are like a river flowing over rock. Over time, the water wears a path into the rock, a path that becomes more and more permanent the deeper it’s cut. When we think negative thoughts about ourselves or others, we’re cutting a path that eventually will become if not permanent, then at least harder and harder to escape. They call it a rut for just that reason: we get a wheel stuck in that negative space and just keep digging it deeper.

Thoughts are powerful things. Over time, your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. And your actions become your character.

You know that person in your life—and if you’re lucky, you have more than one—who always seems to make you feel good when you’re around them? That person who oozes joy in a way that cuts through whatever bad mood you’re in? Why are they like that?

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

—MAHATMA GANDHI

They’re like that because they think in a positive manner—their mind river cuts a path of hope and happiness, and each day they let that path grow a little deeper. For some of us, this comes naturally, but for most of us, it’s a habit that needs to be learned and practiced. And if that’s the kind of person you want to be—the kind who attracts others through pure positivity, the kind who’s always happy—then it starts with a conscious effort to change the way you think.

It starts with your mind river.

Three Rules of Happiness

I’m not going to lie and tell you it’s easy. Like I said, I try like hell to be a happy person every day, but it’s tough. It comes with a lot of practice, and it comes from creating rules for myself, rules that inspire me to be better every day.

RULE #1: Flow in the right direction.

Remember, your thoughts are extremely powerful. We are creatures of habit—I know I am, for sure, and I work every day to promote good habits (eating right, going to the gym, meditating, calling friends and family) and avoid the bad ones. That includes habits of the mind; I don’t want to be thinking negatively about myself or others, or letting resentments, jealousies, and insecurities get hold inside of me. Positive thinking is a habit; practice it, and it will start to become natural.

Be light. Be positive. Keep your mind river flowing in the right direction.

RULE #2: Start by assuming the best.

I try to see the good in people and move through my day with the expectation that pretty much everyone is doing their very best. Sometimes, no matter how positive you may be, you’ll get blowback. But we all have moments when our best isn’t very good at all. Maybe the person you’re having a tough time with has a lot of really awful stuff going on in their life, or they were given some terrible news, and they can’t help those dark clouds from rolling out. I’ll talk a bit about how to confront negative energy in a later chapter, but right now, let’s start with what you can control.

RULE #3: Do the next healthy thing.

You don’t have to master these skills all at once. You don’t have to completely change your outlook on life in an instant. Just do the next healthy thing. With the next decision you make when you close this chapter, make the choice that moves you toward your dream. Then, when you’re faced with the next decision after that, do the same thing.

That’s all you need to do. Take it one decision at a time.

That’s why I hate the idea of “resolutions.” When we make a resolution, we try to plan out the next month or the next year. It’s a total trap. We can’t control what’s going to happen down the road; pledging to go to the gym four days a week or to never eat chocolate cake for a year is just a recipe for failure. So forget the future; just make the next healthy choice for yourself right now. When you choose to follow these approaches, you’ll find they become easier as time goes on.

Fake It Until You Make It

Look, I am just like everyone else when it comes to having bad days! They happen—it’s called life. But how I choose to deal with them is a choice. My choice.

If I’m just not feeling it that day, I fake it, like . . . obnoxiously. This was a method I developed early in my Indy car days, when I needed a boost to get over all the haters and days that just made me feel less happy and confident than I wanted to be. I called it my “kittens and rainbows” attitude.

Today, I still rely on the same approach: Whenever I’m filled with self-doubt or I’m not looking forward to the tough day ahead, I tell myself that I’m brimming with confidence (thought), I project it out to the world (words), I carry myself like I’m fearless (actions), and in no time, it becomes true (character). Today it comes automatically, but it’s not a God-given quality; it took a lot of make-believe for me to master being a happy person in real life. The same goes for my fitness: When I don’t want to go to the gym, I put on my coolest gym outfit and just pretend that I’m super-psyched to be there. And guess what? By the time I break a sweat, I’m happy to be exercising again.

Afraid? Fake fearlessness, and you’ll be surprised how brave you quickly become.

Unmotivated? Pretend you’re a total killer, and in time you’ll evolve into one.

Unhappy? Focus on making others happier and more comfortable, and eventually you’ll forget you even know how to frown.

“I now embrace myself for who I am and walk with my head held high.”

PATTY BRETZ, 45

Sherrills Ford, North Carolina

An office and procurement manager for a small business, Patty was frustrated by the many exercise programs she’d tried. “P90X, 21-Day Fix, Winsor Pilates—you name it, I’ve tried it! But I wasn’t very disciplined and became frustrated with the results.” Pretty Intense was a different story altogether. “The biggest difference to me was that the workouts varied and were never the same week after week like other programs.” And by week twelve, Patty had shed twenty-five pounds, and five inches from her waist.

And the food! That was a huge part of Patty’s success. “I was always a sugar girl and a diet-soda freak,” she says. But embracing healthy foods came surprisingly easy on this program. “I was one of those ‘yuck’ or ‘ewww’ types before I ever tried something new. But on this plan I fell in love with asparagus, squash, and zucchini. I have even found myself liking sweet potatoes, which were another ‘I’m not going to try that!’ vegetable.”

Now she’s not only more confident in the kitchen but in life as well. “I went through a tough time with a divorce and became very self-conscious, as I was told that I didn’t look the same as I did when I played volleyball in college. After that, I took the unhealthy route of working out seven days a week while only eating one small meal a day.” Pretty Intense has not only given her a new body, it’s given her a new attitude: “I used to look at workout programs as just a physical aspect of life, but now I view PI as a healthy, life-changing journey.”

“The thought manifests as the word; the word manifests as the deed; the deed develops into habit; and habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its ways with care, and let it spring from love born out of concern for all beings.”

—GUATAMA BUDDHA

Get in the Happiness Habit

Cultivate good habits. Make it a habit to spot a problem and confront it right then and there. Make it a habit to help others, to put their needs and feelings before your own. Make it a habit to shrug away negative thoughts and let go when you find you’re comparing yourself to other people. These habits lead to happiness in the long term.

But the shortest path to happiness—and I truly believe this—is to simply fake being happy. Seriously. There are plenty of times when I feel cranky, but when I do I just “pretend” to be in a good mood by putting a smile on my face, putting my dark thoughts on hold, and being extra nice to others. Inevitably, my self-focus and negativity go away. If I act happy, positive, and confident, sure enough, in no time at all that’s actually how I feel, and then I’m ready for anything.

So the first step in being happy? Be happy. The rest of it (yes, even the abs) will follow.

Throughout this book, you’ll find a series of quizzes and worksheets that will help you assess where you are in mind, body, and spirit. I suggest you use a pencil (not a pen) for each of the quizzes, because I’m hoping you’ll find yourself going back and changing the answers as you progress.