Don’t eat a roadkill you can bounce into your pickup.
Don’t bare-ass the Highway Patrol.
Long odds on short money is usually a loser.
Don’t confuse the gospel with the church.
Never snitch on family or friends.
Avoid living any place where you can’t take a piss
off the front porch.
Just because it’s simple doesn’t make it easy.
Don’t write a check with your ’gator mouth
that your lizard ass can’t cash.
If you don’t want her, don’t whistle.
Don’t get between two dogs kicking dirt.
Anybody can mash potatoes; takes a chef to make gravy.
You’re never too poor to pay attention.
Don’t mumble around paranoids.
Never sleep with a woman who is doing you a favor.
If you’re struck by a bully, turn the other cheek. If he
whacks you again, shoot the sumbitch.
Keeping it is always twice as difficult as getting it.
Never drive through a small town at 100 mph
with the sheriff’s drunk fifteen-year-old daughter
naked on your lap.
Never draw against the drop.
If you’re not confused, you don’t know what’s going on.
Love is always harder than it feels.