Are forever. That’s what the picture frame Eve gave me last Christmas says around the edges. Inside the frame is a picture of me and Eve from the day I arrived. I am just a baby. Six weeks old with a head of fluffy rain-cloud hair. Kola nut brown eyes. Blackberry puckered lips. I am wearing a tiny yellow onesie and Eve is holding me softly in her lap. Eve is three and a half. She’s all dressed up in a pink and black polka dot dress. Her hair shoved into two thick pigtails with a shiny silver bow on each one. I love this picture because normally when there’s a camera present Eve cannot help herself. She poses. Flirts. Flips her hair and smiles directly into it. “Puts the cheese all the way on.” Papa likes to say. “Like a true diva.” But in this picture she has forgotten all about the camera. She is looking down at me in her lap. She is not smiling but her face is full of light. She’s looking down at me and her lips are slightly parted as if she’s whispering a secret to me. And only me. I keep the photo on my dresser. Next to my collection of angel figurines and a small wire tree full of necklaces and earrings.
Sisters are forever. But is Eve still mad at me? After I get off the phone with Lena I knock softly on her door and enter. Eve is on her bed. Lying on top of a collection of magazines. Clothes and tissues. I can tell she’s been crying.
“Hey.” I offer. “This sucks huh?”
“Yeah. It does. I was really starting to enjoy school you know?”
I don’t know exactly. Everything about El Rio was exhausting to me. But I do know what it’s like to feel like you’re missing out. That your friends are far away.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Eve continues. “I could have handled those girls on my own. The ones that were messing with you.”
“Dunno. Guess I thought it was just best to let it go.”
“But that’s really messed up. Keda. What she said to you. How can you just let that go? You should have said something. It affects me too you know.”
“I did—”
“You can’t just let people walk all over you like that.”
“I didn’t—”
“Anyway. Whatever. This year has been a waste. Soon as June hits I’m getting a job. No way I’m homeschooling all through May and staying in this house all summer with Mama.”
I shuffle my feet awkwardly inside the doorway. I wish she would invite me onto her bed like she used to. I feel like there’s a big canyon between us. I yell something into the canyon and it echoes across to her but only half the message gets there. She yells back and it’s the same.
What’s the worst name you’ve ever been called? I want to ask her. But I decide against it. Instead I say: “I’m sorry.” Even though I haven’t done anything wrong.
“It’s not really your fault.” Eve says starting to text someone. “It’s just messed up that we have to live like this.”
We? I think.
“Yeah.” I say. “It is.”