The next day we drive three hours north to pick up Mama from her clinic in Taos. Eve sits in the front with Papa and I sit behind her in the back seat of Papa’s Volvo. We wind our way into the jagged hills and then onto thin mountain roads that make me dizzy and out of breath with their height.
For the first hour we listen to Papa tell bad jokes. “What did the red light say to the green light?… Don’t look! I’m changing! What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?… A flat minor. Why did Adele cross the road?… To say hello to the other side. What’s the difference between a viola and an onion?… Nobody cries when you cut up a viola.”
I smile at that one. And from the front seat I hear Eve snort.
“Aha!” Papa shouts. “You DO still know how to have some fun.”
I get what he’s trying to do. Lighten the mood. Eve didn’t even want to come with us. But Papa wouldn’t let her stay home. And I want to see Mama. With my own eyes. What if she’s still not better? My stomach flips with the thought and then growls with hunger since I wasn’t able to keep my breakfast down. None of us really know what to expect when we get there. All Papa tells us is that we’re going to meet with Mama and her therapist for a family counseling session. And then afterward we can check her out of the clinic and bring her home.
“Hey. Here’s a cool joke.” Eve starts. “One out of every four people is suffering from some mental imbalance. Look around at three people you know. If they’re ok. Then YOU’RE THE CRAZY ONE.”
Papa doesn’t laugh.
And neither do I. “I don’t get it.”
“Oh come on. It’s funny because—”
“That’s enough.” Papa says with ice in his voice. “Cut it out Eve. Mental illness is nothing to joke about. You should know that. I don’t want to hear any of that EVER again. Have some empathy why don’t you!”
Eve slams her body back in her seat and puts her headphones on. So Papa turns on Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony and maxes out the speaker volume. We drive the rest of the way like this. Eve’s headphones blaring. The Volvo’s sound system blaring back. By the time we get to the clinic my ears ring and ring and ring with noise.