‘What did you just say?’ Henrietta stared at Sebastian open-mouthed. It sounded as though he’d just proposed to her.
‘It was a bit long-winded, to be honest.’ He looked faintly abashed. ‘Not like something I’d usually say at all.’
‘But what was it?’
‘Ahem...’ He cleared his throat and tipped his head to one side, almost apologetically. ‘I asked if you’d marry me.’
‘That’s what I thought you said...’ If she hadn’t been sitting already, she was quite certain her legs would have collapsed beneath her. Her knees already felt as if they were trembling and her ankles...well, they’d surely have twisted from shock. ‘Are you mad?’
‘I don’t think so, although I’ve wondered occasionally.’ Sebastian rubbed his chin. ‘But I don’t feel mad. Not at the moment anyway.’
‘You must be.’ She leaned forward to put her hands on his shoulders, ready to talk some sense into him. ‘Think about it. I’m a shopkeeper.’
‘As was my father. As I would have been if I hadn’t joined the navy.’
‘You’re the grandson of a duke.’
‘This again?’ He rolled his eyes. ‘Haven’t we been through this enough times? I don’t care who my grandfather was or wasn’t.’
‘But the world will. Sebastian, I have no family and no money. Nothing in the world except three little boys to take care of. You should be marrying up, not down. Look at Anna. She’s a countess now.’
‘Anna married for love, or so you and my mother keep telling me. Rank had nothing to do with it.’
‘Yes, but...’ She gulped, feeling an almost electric jolt at the mention of love. Was he saying that he loved her? No, he was comparing them to Anna and the Earl, but not in that way...
‘And since my grandfather disowned my parents and by extension me, I don’t see what his vaunted position has to do with anything.’
‘All I’m saying is that you could marry a lady if you wanted.’
‘If being the operative word.’ He sounded almost angry at the suggestion. ‘Or are you saying that I should marry a lady on some kind of principle?’
‘No-o, I just think...’
‘I think you are.’ He tore himself free from her hands and stood up, pacing the room as he spoke. ‘You’re suggesting that I ought to make up for my mother’s so-called “mistake”! That I ought to act as if my father never existed and take up some kind of position in society.’
‘Not necessarily, but maybe you ought to meet a few more ladies before deciding against them.’
‘I’ve met ladies. I’ve served them in the shop enough times and trust me, there’s no difference between them and any other woman except for clipped vowels and expensive clothes. I told you the first day, that’s not my definition of a lady.’
‘It’s not just about vowels and clothes! It’s about all of this!’ She waved her arms around in a circle. ‘This house. This estate. This is the world your family lives in now! That makes it part of your life, too, and how could I ever be a part of it? I don’t belong here.’
‘And you think that I do? Henrietta, I may have a tenuous connection to this place by birth, but in case you hadn’t noticed, this isn’t my world either. I’m glad to be here with my family again, but as a guest. I’m not a gentleman.’
‘But you could be.’
‘I doubt it. Honestly, I can’t think of anything more boring. People expect you to make calls and wear damned dinner jackets every day!’
‘Sebastian.’ She couldn’t help a burble of laughter from escaping her lips.
‘I’m not saying that there wouldn’t be compensations. Good food, a feather-filled bed, servants catering to my every whim and cigars after dinner, but none of that’s who I am. I could never live in a place like this. Whereas a house in Bath, close to Swainswick Crescent, maybe next to the park where the boys could play, with a woman who knows how to work for a living, a friend and an equal, someone I like and respect...well, that sounds pretty close to perfect to me.’
She swallowed again, staring into his eyes as they bored into hers, unable to think of a single thing to say. He was right, it did sound pretty close to perfect...
‘Henrietta...’ He crouched down, his knees touching against hers. ‘I know who I am and who I want to be. There have been moments in my life when I’ve felt guilty and helpless, but I finally feel as though I’m making up for those times now. I feel as though I’m doing something useful and worthwhile again. Most of all I want to do the right thing.’
The right thing? She blinked at the words. He was talking as if she were a lady and he’d compromised her. Which, if she had been a lady, she supposed would be true. He’d kissed her and slept in the same room, albeit chastely, on several occasions over the past week. But she wasn’t a lady and there was no need for him to do the right thing. Neither she nor the boys were his responsibility. Besides, what about love? she wanted to ask, but somehow she couldn’t bring herself to do it. How could she expect him to answer a question she didn’t know the answer to herself? She liked him, she enjoyed his company far more than she’d ever expected to enjoy any man’s company, but surely it was too soon for love? And wasn’t what he was offering her enough? Friendship, mutual respect and a home, not just for herself, but for her nephews, too. It would have sounded greedy to ask for more.
‘I’m not saying I can afford a house immediately.’ He looked faintly sheepish. ‘In fact, I’m not even sure where we’ll live, but I’ll work something out. I have some savings and I’ll earn the rest. I was thinking about your idea of serving tea at Belles. Maybe we could expand the premises? Or better still, find somewhere new and call it Henrietta’s. What do you think?’
‘I don’t know.’ She closed her eyes and then opened them again, trying to stop the room from spinning around her. ‘I’m speechless.’
‘Then just nod your head. Or shake it, but I’d prefer a nod.’
‘Sebastian...’
‘Wait.’ He reached for her hands, clasping them firmly between his. ‘If you’re going to say no, then let me say one more thing first. I know this is a bad time to ask. In fact, it’s a terrible time, probably the worst I could possibly have chosen, but I want you to know that you don’t have to face the future alone. I want to be there for you—all of you.’
‘But you don’t have to.’ She shook her head. ‘You don’t have to marry me just to be useful and make amends for the past.’
‘It’s not just that. Yes, I still feel guilty about Anna, but not enough to propose, I promise you.’ He lifted one of her hands and kissed the pulse at the base of her wrist. ‘It’s not just a question of feeling guilty. It’s you, too.’
Her breath stalled. ‘What about your freedom?’
‘I’ll still be free. So will you. We’ll make our own decisions together and with our own crew. Me, you and the boys.’ He grinned. ‘I’m happy. Right here and now, I’m happy and a large part of that is due to you. I think we could be happy building a life together.’
‘Oh.’ She felt her lips part, though for the life of her she had no idea how to close them again. Or how to form words for that matter.
‘We’re friends, aren’t we? Maybe even a little more than that? You kissed me once.’ His dark eyes glinted. ‘It wasn’t such a painful experience, was it?’
‘No.’ She let out something between a laugh and a hiccup, the joke unlocking her tongue. ‘No, it wasn’t painful.’
‘Damning with faint praise...’ The top half of his body swayed forward. ‘In that case, maybe you’d let me try to persuade you again?’
He brought his face slowly to hers and she moved to greet him until they met somewhere in the middle. It wasn’t that she’d intended to move, she thought with a vague sense of surprise, just that she couldn’t help it, as if there were an invisible rope tied around them, drawing her closer and binding them together. It was a perfect moment, tender and serene and somehow just right, lasting for several heart-stopping seconds before something seemed to catch fire between them and she found herself moving again, trying to press even closer towards him.
Sebastian gave a low, surprised-sounding murmur before curling his arms around her waist, his lips clinging to hers as if he felt the same fire, too. She reached her own arms around his neck, absorbing the heat of his chest with her breasts in a way that made her stomach clench and contract with tingles of pleasure. She felt as though she had one of his knots inside her, being pulled tighter and tighter, although surely it had to stop at some point? If you pulled on a knot hard enough, then eventually, surely eventually it had to unravel. Or the string would snap. Or...well, something would happen! Only she had no idea what.
‘I must be mad, too.’ She panted as they came apart finally, foreheads pressed together as they each struggled to regain their breath.
‘Does that mean you’re considering my proposal?’ He laughed huskily, one of his hands sliding across the small of her back and up to her shoulder blades.
‘No.’ She shook her head, smiling back. ‘I’ve already considered. Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you. I still think it’s madness, but I—’
She didn’t get any further as his lips seized upon hers again, kissing her so deeply that she felt a wave of heat rush all the way from the top of her head to the tips of her toes in a cascade of sensation. If this was madness, she decided in the split second before coherent thought abandoned her, then sanity was vastly overrated.
Sebastian had always thought of kissing with ambivalence. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy it, just that there were other, similar and yet slightly more energetic activities that he preferred. Kissing Henrietta, however, was different. Words like ‘new’ and ‘exciting’ were far too mild to describe what they were doing. It was an utterly engrossing, nerve-tinglingly heady sensation, unlike any kiss he’d ever experienced before. It was, quite simply, bliss. He could have happily done it all day. Two days. A whole week if he could have gone that long without food and water. Her lips were the smoothest he’d ever felt, the sweetest he’d ever tasted, the most exquisitely shaped...
‘Wait!’ She pulled back abruptly. ‘The boys! They’re next door.’
‘No, they’re not.’ He trailed his mouth over her cheek, across her jaw and down the delicate column of her throat. ‘I sent them to the kitchens.’
‘They might come back.’
‘We’ll hear them coming, believe me.’
‘But I might not have time to straighten up.’ She lifted her hands to his chest. ‘You’ve unfastened my hair.’
‘Have I?’ He lifted his head, surprised to find that she was right. Somehow he’d managed to unpin and unravel her hair without even noticing. Now it was lying over her shoulders in a pale golden torrent. And if she thought that drawing attention to it was the way to convince him to let her go then she was extremely deluded... He gave a low moan and buried his face in the tresses.
‘Mmm.’
‘What are you doing?’
‘Breathing you in.’ He inhaled deeply as her body sagged against him. ‘It smells different from usual.’
‘It does?’ Her voice sounded breathless.
‘Just a little. Usually it smells of sugar and baking. Now it smells of...’ He drew in another deep breath. ‘Apricots?’
‘The maids gave me a soap.’
‘I like it. I like both. Have you ever considered making an apricot-flavoured Belle?’
‘I think we have enough to deal with at the moment.’ She laughed huskily. ‘But we really should stop.’
‘All right.’ He pressed one last kiss to the tip of her nose before moving away. Truth be told, it would look somewhat incriminating if they were disturbed now and not just by the boys. Both his uncle and grandmother had paid visits to the nursery over the past couple of days and if they discovered him and Henrietta together like this...well, it wasn’t just her loose hair that would give them away. He was going to need a few minutes to recover himself.
Henrietta pressed her lips together, watching him through her lashes as she coiled her hair up and then looked around for the pins.
‘Here.’ He reached down, picking a handful off the floor.
‘Thank you.’ She fixed the roll into place and folded her hands in her lap. ‘Just so you know, it wasn’t that I didn’t like it. Kissing you, I mean.’
‘Glad to hear it.’ He grinned. Her pose reminded him of the first time they’d met, when she’d clasped her hands so primly in front of her. ‘Because if you didn’t, then I’m afraid you’ll find marriage to me somewhat tedious.’
‘Really?’ Her eyelashes fluttered. ‘Do you intend to kiss me a lot, then?’
‘If you mean do I intend to wake you up with kisses every morning then, yes, yes, I do. For the record, I also intend to lull you to sleep the same way.’
‘I don’t think that will work.’ The corners of her lips tugged upwards, her dimple more pronounced than ever. ‘It doesn’t seem to have made me very sleepy.’
‘Wait and see.’ He winked, barely resisting the urge to pull her into his lap. ‘In the meantime, let’s go and share the good news.’
‘Right now?’ She looked startled.
‘No time like the present. Then we’d better start packing.’
‘You mean you want to go back to Bath?’
‘No. The other direction, actually.’
‘What? Sebastian, what are you talking about?’ She shook her head at him. ‘Where are we going?’
‘Gretna Green. Today. I’m not giving you a chance to change your mind.’