Knots.
Henrietta wandered slowly around the gazebo, listening with amusement as her nephews were tutored on the apparently ancient art of knot-tying inside. Overhand knots, square knots, granny knots, bowline knots, oyster knots, reef knots, thief knots, figure-eight knots... So many that she’d quickly forgotten the names of the rest. She’d declined the offer of instruction herself, preferring to enjoy the winter sunshine than play with bits of string—a choice of words that had earned her a stern look and lecture from Sebastian.
She laughed softly to herself at the memory of his outraged expression, though he’d been unable to maintain it for more than a few seconds. He seemed almost incapable of not smiling for long, as if his sense of humour were irrepressible. Somehow, it suited his general air of dishevelment, the way he never tightened his cravat or fastened his coat, as if he were too busy being cheerful to notice or care about such details.
Now they’d reached a clear understanding about his reasons for staying in Bath to help her, it was surprising how much she enjoyed his company. She’d known he’d felt guilty about leaving Anna to run Belles alone, but she hadn’t realised quite how much, and his honesty endeared him to her more than she would have expected. As did his behaviour generally. They’d come to the park together with the boys for a couple of hours every afternoon that week, after which she took over the running of the shop and gave Nancy the rest of the day off, and his good nature had never once wavered.
After a week, there was still no sign or word of David, but Sebastian seemed determined to stop her from worrying, distracting both her and the boys with his so-called nautical training. Overall, it was surprisingly pleasant to have him as a friend. She felt as relaxed with him now as she had on the first night they’d met, so much that she was even wearing her blue dress today, having eventually decided that Nancy was right and it wasn’t her fault or responsibility how anyone chose to interpret her clothes or behaviour. So why shouldn’t she wear her favourite dress if she wanted? As for Mr Fortini specifically, she felt safe with him. She trusted him. Which meant that she could wear her best bonnet, too, for good measure!
She propped her shoulder against one of the gazebo columns and peered in through the archway. The boys were all sitting cross-legged on the floor while Sebastian crouched beside them, making corrections and smiling encouragement—of course smiling! He wasn’t classically handsome by any means. His features were far too rough hewn and irregular for that, yet his lopsided smile made his face a thousand times more attractive than that of any other man she’d ever met. Which was exactly the sort of thing she ought not to think about a friend!
‘Look, Aunt Henrietta!’ Michael scrambled to his feet when he saw her, holding aloft a piece of string with a triumphant expression. ‘It’s called a cat’s paw.’
‘What a lovely name.’ She bent over to admire it. ‘That looks tricky.’
‘This is the most important knot!’ Peter held up his own piece of string. ‘A bowline.’
‘They’re both very good.’
‘And wait until you see this...’ Sebastian gave Oliver a nudge. ‘It’s an overhand knot. One of the best I’ve ever seen.’
‘Goodness me.’ She made a show of examining each in turn. ‘I hope you aren’t planning to tie my feet together.’
‘Umm...’ Michael and Peter exchanged looks as if that was exactly what they’d been planning.
‘Oh, dear.’ She shook her head, looking around the gazebo at each of them in turn before her gaze settled on Sebastian and she smiled. It was a smile that seemed to come from deep within, as if her very heartstrings were tugging at the corners of her mouth. Maybe it was contagious, she thought, all this smiling. Despite her worries about David, at that moment she couldn’t have stopped if she’d tried. She was aware, too, of a strangely dizzy feeling, as if the gazebo itself were spinning around. She actually had the bizarre impression that all her thoughts and feelings were up in the air, rearranging themselves somehow, and that when she stopped spinning and they settled down again, as they eventually had to, then nothing would ever be the same again.
It was outlandish and unexpected and alarming. And yet here she was, still smiling. And so was Sebastian. They were both smiling at each other. For almost a whole minute before Michael asked what they were doing.
‘I enjoyed that.’ Sebastian chuckled to himself as they walked home an hour later, the boys scampering ahead, still comparing and competing over who’d tied the strongest knots. ‘It was just like old times.’
‘They enjoyed it, too.’ Henrietta turned her head to smile at him, that genuine smile that made him feel as if his lungs couldn’t draw in enough air. She was looking exceptionally pulchritudinous today, he thought, like a rare and precious orchid escaped from a hothouse. She was dressed far less sombrely than on any of their previous excursions, too, in a blue-green gown the exact same shade as her eyes, not that he’d said so. Or allowed anything even remotely resembling a compliment to pass his lips, though it was getting harder and harder to stop himself. He must have thought at least a hundred complimentary things since he’d collected her a couple of hours before. Frankly, he was starting to wonder if he had masochistic tendencies, agreeing to simply be her friend.
‘I’m afraid you’re making life at sea sound far too appealing,’ she went on, still smiling. ‘No offence to the navy, but I’d rather keep the boys closer to home.’
‘I recall my mother once saying something similar.’
‘I’m not surprised. It must have been very hard for her when you left.’ She winced. ‘Sorry. I’m not trying to make you feel any guiltier.’
‘I know. I suppose I just hoped she’d get used to the idea eventually. They say sailors’ wives do.’ He blinked at his own words. What on earth had made him say that? They’d been talking about mothers, not wives.
‘Really?’ She gave him a sideways look, so quickly that he couldn’t catch her eye.
‘They say it gets easier anyway.’
‘I suppose it’s just a different way of life.’
‘Yes.’
‘But it must still be lonely.’ She seemed determined to look straight ahead now.
‘I suppose so. Of course the men miss their wives, too.’
‘Of course.’
‘So it’s hard for both of them.’ He paused. ‘I’m not sure it’s the kind of marriage that I’d want for myself...’ And why was he telling her that? ‘Although my naval days are behind me.’
‘They are?’ This time, she did look at him. ‘Have you decided for certain?’
‘Yes.’ He nodded firmly. ‘I don’t know what I’m going to do next, but it won’t be the navy.’
‘Oh.’ There was a faint crease between her brows. ‘I see.’
‘You sound disappointed.’
‘No, just surprised. Anna said you were so desperate to join.’
‘When I was seventeen, yes, as soon as I could convince my father to let me go.’
‘And you’re an acting lieutenant already? You must be good at what you do.’
‘It’s easier to be promoted in wartime. My captain thought I had a talent for navigation so he made me a midshipman. Then, when we were short of officers, he promoted me to lieutenant.’
‘Why were you short of officers?’
‘Enemy action.’
‘You mean in a battle?’
‘Not quite. We were set on by a French Squadron a couple of years ago. Fortunately Captain Marlow hid us in a fog bank, but we sustained a lot of damage.’
‘How frightening.’ She shuddered. ‘Is that why you were out of contact with the Admiralty for so long?’
‘Not because of that, no.’ He hesitated, tempted to tell her the truth, the things he hadn’t told anyone, even James, but it was hard to find the words to begin...
‘Forgive me.’ She seemed to notice his expression. ‘It’s none of my business.’
‘No, it’s not that...’ He slowed his pace, suddenly wanting to tell her. ‘The reason we were out of contact started a few months later when we were sent in pursuit of a Spanish frigate. She led us across the Atlantic and down the coast of South America.’
‘Around Cape Horn? I remember you said you were stuck in the Pacific for the past year.’
He grimaced, swallowing against a sudden constricting sensation in his throat. ‘That wasn’t quite true, I’m afraid. That is, we did round Cape Horn, but then the frigate turned around again. We never did find out why.’
‘Oh.’ She looked faintly puzzled.
‘Forgive the deception. Only the truth is difficult to talk about.’
‘Then you don’t have to.’
‘But I think I’d like to. You see, our Captain fell ill just off the coast of Brazil not long afterwards and we were forced to berth in the West Indies for him to get medical treatment. He was a good captain: honourable, strict, but fair, too. Unfortunately, his replacement, Captain Belton, was the opposite. He had no honour at all. He was a bully and a fool, determined to find the lost frigate and prove himself no matter what the cost. He got information that it had gone north so we followed, all the way up to Lower Canada, never mind that it was nearly winter and we were all practically freezing to the masts.’
‘Couldn’t you object?’
He made a face. ‘Objecting isn’t really an option in the navy. Naval vessels have a strict hierarchy. Obeying the chain of command is everything, even when the commands in question don’t make any sense. There’s only one punishment for mutiny.’
‘But surely if he was endangering your lives...?’
‘That’s not something for the crew to decide. A ship’s doctor can diagnose madness, but stupidity isn’t the same thing, not in the Admiralty’s eyes anyway.’ He shook his head. ‘We were off the coast of Newfoundland when a blizzard set in. We were blown off course into a bay and trapped. Literally trapped. When the storm abated, the ship was held fast by ice.’
‘How terrifying.’
‘As I recall, I was too cold to feel a great deal of anything except numb. Fortunately, at that point our worthy captain decided to barricade himself in his cabin.’
‘Fortunately?’
‘It left smarter men in charge. We’d restocked on provisions in the West Indies so we had enough food to wait for a thaw and we all stayed below deck together, trying to keep warm and desperately hoping the ice wouldn’t crush the ship. It wasn’t easy. Some of the men came close to despair. Most of the boys, too. They tried to act like men, but they were frightened.’
‘Like Peter is now?’ She tightened her grip on his arm. ‘No wonder you’re so good with him. I think those boys were lucky to have someone like you with them.’
‘I don’t know. I tried my best to keep their hopes up, but I felt so powerless, as if I were failing them. But we were lucky and survived. Any further north and we’d have been done for. A few men lost fingers and toes to frostbite, but after a few months, we were able to escape.’
‘So that’s why Anna didn’t hear from you for so long?’
‘Yes. We made it back to the West Indies eventually, but needless to say, the Admiralty wasn’t impressed. We were forbidden from sending messages home while there was an investigation, but in the end the whole thing was hushed up.’
‘But wasn’t your captain punished?’
‘Retired.’ He gave her a pointed look. ‘His brother is a marquess.’
‘Ah... So then you came home?’
‘Then we had to wait for the ship to be repaired, but, yes, then I came home.’
‘Well, that explains it.’
‘Explains what?’
‘Why you always dress as though it’s the middle of summer.’
He chuckled. ‘I believe there are parts of my body now permanently immune to the cold.’
‘You still shouldn’t be careless about it,’ she scolded him. ‘I’m going to knit you a scarf.’
‘Really?’ He felt both surprised and pleased by the idea. ‘I’d like that.’
‘Yes. What’s your favourite colour?’
‘Blue,’ he answered without hesitation. Which was funny because up until that moment he’d always thought it was red. And they were standing outside Belles, he realised suddenly. He hadn’t even noticed that they’d reached it, although he’d seen the boys go inside.
‘Blue it is.’ She moved closer to him, so close that every inch of his body seemed to tingle with awareness. He was vividly aware of the heavy thud of his own heartbeat. Any closer and she would be, too. ‘I’m glad you made it back to England safely.’
‘So am I.’ He made a conscious effort to keep his voice steady. ‘Although I’d rather not share the details with my family, at least not yet. Since I wasn’t here to help them, I’d rather they thought I was away doing something useful. I don’t want them feeling sorry for me either.’
‘I understand.’ She smiled softly. ‘Thank you for telling me.’
‘Well... I ought to be going.’ He inclined his head, reluctant to leave after sharing something so personal, although he hated saying goodbye to her in general, he realised, even when it was only for an hour or two. If the past week was any indication, he’d be craving her company again in a few minutes, but she had a business to run and he had more taverns to visit and they were just friends, dammit. All of which meant that he ought to be going.
Gently, he untucked her hand from the crook of his arm and lifted it to his lips. He did it every time he left, but this time he did it more slowly than usual, half expecting her to pull away, but she didn’t. Instead her eyes widened and flickered with a distinctly unfriend-like expression, the pupils swelling slightly as his lips touched the back of her glove. And why kissing fabric felt so damnably erotic at that moment, he had no idea.
‘Yes.’ Her voice sounded breathy. ‘Until tomorrow then.’
He took a step backwards and nearly ran down the street.