Chapter Nine − Not in the Nick of Time

The woman before him was a far cry from the girl Colin remembered.

Although her eyes still shone with the same strength as before, accentuating the dark golden shine of her unruly curls and the soft glow of her sun-warmed skin, she seemed a frightened creature. Her chin no longer rose in defiance, nor did she move with that confidence of someone who was at peace with oneself. Instead, sadness and uncertainty clung to her features, and she barely dared meet his eyes as though she feared his judgement.

And yet, Colin’s soul recognised her as though they had been together every day for the past four years. The look in her eyes instantly brought back the memories of their shared youth, and he could see plain as day the pain they still caused her.

Same as him.

The bond was still there, and Colin felt it in every fibre of his body, and then she spoke, shattering his world once again. “Colin, this is Brendan Pearce, Viscount Kenwood, my…fiancé.”

Anger gripped him, and he had to fight the urge to grab her and shake her until her teeth chattered. How dare she enter into an engagement when he had been rushing back to London with all haste in order to see her? To…? Did she not know how much she meant to him? Did she not feel the same?

Inhaling a deep breath, Colin felt his muscles tense as his gaze sought hers; however, she refused to look at him and he wondered if she knew how devastating her news was to him.

Dimly, Colin was aware that Kenwood−or whatever his name was? −was speaking. The words, however, never reached Colin’s mind. Only when the other man walked out the door did his mind regain control, urging him to remain calm so as to get the answers he sought.

With purpose in his step, Colin moved toward her and her eyes swung around to meet his as though he had slapped her. “How long have you been engaged?”

Her throat worked as she swallowed. Then her lips parted, and three words flew out. “Perhaps ten minutes.”

Colin’s jaw dropped, and he groaned as though that man Kenwood had punched him in the stomach. “Ten minutes?” he demanded, barely aware of the harshness of his tone as he advanced on her. “Ten minutes?”

Jo’s eyes widened as she took a step backwards before her feet suddenly stilled. A small flame sparked in her dark eyes, and her chin rose a fraction as she met his eyes.

Unable not to, Colin rejoiced. This was the woman he remembered!

“Do not snap at me like this, Colin Grenville,” she rebuked him, hands rising to settle on her hips, “or I shall have you removed from my home. Is that clear?” A small flame burnt in her eyes, one Colin remembered only too well.

A smile stole onto his face. “I’ve missed you, Jo,” he whispered as he looked down at her, feeling the same flutter in his belly that he had felt before−shortly before Owen’s death. “You always had a way with words.”

The left corner of her mouth quirked as though she wished to smile, but the look on her face remained hard, cautious perhaps. “Why are you here?” she asked, and her voice seemed to falter just a bit on the last word.

“Do you want me to go?” Colin dared her, remembering the ease with which they used to speak.

Her eyes narrowed, and he knew that she felt it, too. “I did not say that. Do not put words in my mouth.”

A chuckle rose from his lips, and as though no time had passed, he reached out and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. “I see you have not changed.” It was more of a question than a statement, but he wanted to believe it with all his heart.

The moment his fingers brushed by her ear, Jo sucked in a sharp breath before she dropped her gaze and stepped around him, walking to the window, her back to him. “Why have you come?” she asked once more, and he thought to detect a hint of apprehension in her voice.

Unable to bear the distance between them, Colin went after her. His hand reached for her arm, pulling her back around to face him. “I’ve come to see you. I came the moment I heard you’d returned to London.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You heard? From whom?”

“Does it matter?”

“You never even wrote to me, and now you came all this way only to see me?” She shook her head, trying to step back, but his hand held her to him. “You’ll excuse me if I have trouble believing this.”

Searching her face, Colin tried to understand the source of her anger. “You didn’t write to me either if I may remind you.”

Her mouth clamped shut as though he had just caught her in a lie. “I didn’t know where you were.”

His gaze remained locked on hers, their eyes speaking more truthfully than their words. “That’s an excuse. You didn’t write to me because of Owen.”

“Owen?” Her brows knitted together.

Colin swallowed hard. Never before had he spoken about his oldest friend to anyone. “You…you blame me for his death?”

“What?” Her eyes widened in shock, and the air rushed from her lungs that for a moment he feared she would faint. “Why would you think that? I never blamed you. I never once thought…” Tears came to her eyes, and she blinked them rapidly. “I know that Owen’s parents blamed you, but they were wrong. You were always a good friend to Owen, and he did what he did because he chose to.” Giving him a sad smile, she shook her head. “There was nothing you could have done to stop him.”

“I know that,” Colin whispered, his heart feeling a thousand times lighter after hearing her say these words. “I know that it wasn’t my fault, and yet, I cannot help but feel−”

“Guilty?”

Seeing tears spill over and run down her face, Colin pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her hair. “You feel it, too?”

She nodded against his shoulder as her fingers curled into the fabric of his jacket. “I’ve missed you, Colin.”

Leaning back, Colin grasped her chin, tilting her head upward. Her brown eyes still shone with tears as she looked up at him. “I’m sorry I left,” he whispered. “I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I understand,” came her reply, soft and simple, and Colin knew that she meant it.

For a long time, they stood in each other’s embrace, their eyes locked as they silently shared the pain they had endured over the past few years ever since they had lost their best friend…as well as each other.