Chapter Ten − The Fittings of an Old Life

Colin’s first thought after learning of Jo’s engagement was to leave London immediately.

Still, as much as he tried to convince himself that it was the right course of action, he could not bring himself to go. Whenever he was about ready to order his bags packed, her face would drift before his eyes, her own dark and full of sadness, and he knew he had to see her again.

While his heart ached for her grief, Colin could not deny that their short encounter the other day had changed him. He already felt lighter as though a mere look into her soulful eyes, those eyes that knew him so well, had somehow lessened his burden.

And so, he stayed, hoping to see her again, wondering if he should simply call on her. But what about her fiancé?

Attending a ball at the Dashwood townhouse, hoping that Jo would find her way there that night as well, Colin greeted Charles Dashwood, second son−by only a few minutes−of the late Lord Norwood. “Good evening, sir. I believe I’ve had the pleasure of meeting your brother, Lord Norwood, upon my stay in Italy.”

Mr. Dashwood’s eyes widened in surprise. “You have? I admit I haven’t heard from Robert in quite a while. I hope he is well.”

Colin nodded. “He is.”

Considering they were twins, Colin was not surprised to see Robert’s mirror image on his brother. Still, the resemblance ended there. While the younger brother looked like the image of a perfect English gentleman, impeccably dressed and his hair cut in the latest fashion, the older sibling had always reminded Colin of a pirate with loose-fitting clothes and his hair grown long and tied together in the back of his neck. While Mr. Dashwood appeared to be a dedicated historian, Robert had always travelled the world with no intention of ever settling down. As far as Colin knew he never stayed in England for long.

More than once, Colin had felt alone and abandoned during his years on the continent. Upon one such occasion, he had stumbled upon Robert Dashwood, Lord Norwood, in a drunken stupor and assisted him in locating his apartment. They had talked through the night until Robert had fallen asleep with his head on the table. After that, Colin had been glad to call him friend.

Although their ways had often taken them into different parts of the world, they had always stumbled upon one another here and there. Upon leaving Venice, Robert had bade Colin to give his brother his best and assure him that he was well…and lousy at writing letters.

Colin chuckled, “He had every intention of sending a letter to you but−”

“He couldn’t find any ink or paper?” Mr. Dashwood asked, rolling in eyes in good humour. “Yes, I’ve heard that before.”

“I assure you he does not mean to cause you unease.”

“Robert never does.” Mr. Dashwood paused, his gaze studying Colin’s face. “But I suppose you know that.”

“I’m aware, yes.”

“Welcome then. I hope we’ll have a chance to speak later,” Mr. Dashwood said, his gaze honest, and Colin knew that as different as the two brothers were, they loved each other dearly. In truth, ever since meeting Robert and hearing from him about his twin Charles, Colin had felt reminded of his own relationship to Owen. Indeed, they had been different as well−perhaps not as much as night and day−but had always stood as one, there to offer aid whenever the other had had need of it.

It was a powerful bond and devastating once severed.

Colin hoped that Robert and Charles would never have to find out how that felt.

With slow steps, Colin stepped into the ballroom, his gaze sweeping over the attending guests as his heart beat with excitement as well as a hint of apprehension. Would she be here tonight? What would she look like not dressed in a simple dress, here and there torn from climbing trees and slipping through thickets, but in a gown accentuating those dark eyes of hers?

The answer was - magnificent.

Blinking, Colin swallowed when his gaze finally found her, standing in a small circle with her parents, her grandmother as well as…Kenwood and an older lady, presumably the man’s mother. While the rest of her company chatted animatedly, Jo looked a bit forlorn, her gaze distant as though she was elsewhere. Still, the moment their eyes met across the room, that old spark returned to her dark eyes and the corners of her mouth curved upward into a delicate smile before she could stop herself.

Grandmamma Clarice noticed first, and before long her gaze followed her granddaughter’s. When she spotted him, joy came to her face, and she instantly waved him over, whispering to her son and daughter-in-law, no doubt informing them of Colin’s presence.

A bit of unease crept up Colin’s spine, and yet, he could not deny that Grandmamma Clarice’s joy warmed his heart. Always had he thought of her as his grandmother as well, and he had missed her dearly these past years.

“My dear boy, you’re finally home,” Grandmamma Clarice beamed as her pale eyes ran over him in frank perusal. “You’ve spent time in the south. Look at you. You’re a far cry from all the pale-faced Englishmen I see day in and out.” A soft chuckle left her lips before she reached up and enfolded him in her arms.

Leaning down so she could reach, Colin felt a bit awkward, but would not have wanted to miss this for the world. “I’m glad to be back,” he told her when she stepped back, lowering herself back onto her heels. “It’s been a long time.”

“It’s been too long,” Grandmamma Clarice insisted. “Promise me you’ll never disappear like that again.”

Colin nodded, his gaze drifting to Jo, who stood in the back, her arm through Kenwood’s, and glanced at him from under her lashes.

“Johanna, dear,” Grandmamma Clarice called, her sharp eyes not missing anything, “this is a marvellous day, is it not? Our dear Colin is finally back.” Holding out her hand, she pulled her granddaughter forward, all but pushing her into Colin’s arms. “You haven’t seen each other in…what?…four years. I’m certain you have a lot to talk about.” And with that Grandmamma Clarice drew the others away, leaving him and Jo to look at each other like fools, not knowing where to begin.

Clearing his throat, Colin offered Jo his arm. “Shall we walk?” he asked, wondering what agenda Grandmamma Clarice had. After all, she had been the one to send for him. Had she known Jo had been on the verge of betrothal to another? Or had that been a more recent development?

“I’d like that,” Jo whispered, and Colin got the distinct feeling that with all these bystanders around she did not feel like herself, nor dare act like it.

As they cut their way through the crowd, Colin spotted Mr. Dashwood standing with two young ladies as well as an elderly couple. Upon seeing them, he inclined his head, clearly interested in continuing their conversation and hearing further details about his brother’s life.

Inhaling a deep breath, Colin decided that perhaps it was exactly what Jo needed. Something that would take the focus off them and allow them to converse with greater ease. And so, he steered her toward the other side of the ballroom. “Mr. Dashwood, it is a pleasure to see you again. May I introduce an old friend of mine, Miss Johanna Grey.”

“It is a pleasure,” Mr. Dashwood said, bowing to Jo, who managed a sweet smile, her hand tensing just a little on Colin’s arm. He had to admit he rather liked it, for the moment selfishly−or foolishly! −ignoring that the woman he longed for was betrothed to another.

After Mr. Dashwood introduced those in his company as Lord and Lady Gadbury as well as their daughters Lady Isabella and Lady Adriana, he asked, “Has Robert said anything about returning to England?”

Colin shook his head. “I’m afraid not. When I left Venice, he was planning on travelling to Greece next.”

“Greece!” Lady Isabella exclaimed, a touch of awe in her voice while her sister rolled her eyes, clearly bored. “What a wonderful country so rich in history and archaeological sites.”

While Lady Adriana and her parents quickly shrank into the background, Mr. Dashwood and Lady Isabella seemed most interested in the sites Robert planned to visit. “I assume you’re aware that history is a passion of mine,” Mr. Dashwood said, glancing at the young lady by his side. “Ours, truth be told.” Colin wondered if they might be more than mere acquaintances…or would be eventually.

Colin laughed, noticing the relaxed smile that had come to Jo’s face. “Robert mentioned your interest.”

Mr. Dashwood laughed, “We’re quite unlike one another in that regard. My fascination with history and ancient artefacts has always bored Robert to tears.”

Lady Isabella chuckled, glancing over her shoulder at her sister. “It’s been the same with me and my sister. She steadfastly refuses to go to the British Museum with me. It is strange to think that one and the same place can be utterly fascinating for one and utterly boring for another.” Shaking her head, Lady Isabella sighed before her gaze drifted to Mr. Dashwood.

Beside Colin, Jo chuckled, “Let me guess, the two of you met at the British Museum?” she asked, glancing from the young lady to Robert’s twin.

Colin smiled when he saw Jo reawakening, shaking off the gloomy thoughts that had no doubt lingered on her mind. If only he knew what they were!

Mr. Dashwood nodded, sharing a knowing look with Lady Isabella. “Indeed, we did. I found it quite refreshing to meet a like-minded lady in the one place I feel most at home. I’m afraid I do not know how to converse about fashion and horse racing and…whatnot.” Mr. Dashwood grinned a bit sheepishly as though he was used to apologising for his passion. “It is utterly favourable to spend one’s time with someone who understands the fundamentals of one’s character, is it not?”

“I whole-heartedly agree,” Colin said, glancing down at Jo in the very moment she looked up at him. The second their eyes met, he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that she felt the same, and the bond that had connected them since childhood pulled on his heart with renewed force.

She was indeed the one, and he could curse himself for allowing her to slip through his fingers. Why had he not returned sooner? He had been a fool to wait this long.

Ten minutes! That thought had been circling through his mind ever since he had first seen her after returning to England. He had lost his chance by a matter of ten minutes! Was fate truly this cruel?

After taking their leave from Mr. Dashwood and Lady Isabella, Colin steered Jo passed dancing couples and whispering matrons, trying his best to be inconspicuous and not catch Kenwood’s attention as he guided the man's fiancée through a side door and out into a darkened corridor.

“Where are we going?” Jo asked, a touch of concern in her voice as she glanced at the deserted hallway. “We should return to the ballroom.”

Pulling her onward, Colin shook his head. “I need to speak to you,” he bit out, cursing himself for the harshness of his tone. Then he opened the door to the library and led her inside, shutting it behind them. “Why did you accept Kenwood’s proposal?” he demanded without preamble, wishing that he had the patience to speak to her the way she deserved.

However, he did not.

He needed to know.

Now.