Chapter 6

 

Sabrina’s eyes widened. That was twice in the same day she’d heard the name of her old nemesis from high school. Quietly, she processed this bit of information. Everyone in the room knew Elise changed the dynamics, the question was how? Sabrina waded through the labyrinth of her tangled emotions. Did Jamison know of her and Elise’s past confrontations? Is that why he asked her out, to make Elise jealous?

There was no question the woman would blow-up if she got wind of their date and subsequent make-out session. That brought a smile to Sabrina’s face. But there was a child involved. To date, she’d avoided men with kids because of the potential baby mama drama.

What would make Elise go to such lengths to get a man’s attention? The woman wasn’t ugly. In Sabrina’s opinion, Elise was really pretty, on the outside anyway. She’d been in the engineering program, so she must have had some smarts, book-wise anyway.

“You like him, Brina. Don’t forget that,” Angela chimed in.

“He made you burn,” Melissa added with a devilish grin.

“I’m only here for a few days –”

“So go on a few dates, get you some and then leave. At least give him a chance. I, for one, want to know what all the hoopla’s about,” Angela said wide-eyed. “What? He had a reputation of being able to throw down in bed, and that was in high school.”

Sabrina chuckled at her imp of a sister. It was good being with both of them again. “You are so bad. Would you do that?”

Angela tilted her head and put her nose in the air. “Already did. Why do you think I was late getting here? I needed a li'l sumtin' sumtin' to hold me until I could get some more.”

“You’re dating someone?” Melissa asked, frowning.

Sabrina smothered a grin. Angela rarely made any kind of commitment to anyone. They were alike in that regards.

“No. I have someone who takes care of my needs. We’re both free to see other people.”

Melissa sat up, looked at Angela and then Sabrina. “So he agreed to you having sex with other people?”

Angela’s face held a tinge of redness. Sabrina was surprised and paid closer attention. It seemed like someone had halfway tamed her wild younger sibling.

“We have an understanding,” Angela said, although not as strongly as before.

Melissa nodded. “Ah. Okay, got it. Y’all have an understanding about what you can and can’t do. Sounds like a relationship to me, you Brina?”

“Yeah. I’m betting they can only have sex with each other, too,” Sabrina said, watching Angela’s jaw clench.

“I’m my own woman. End of conversation,” she snapped. Melissa laughed. “What are you going to do about Jamison, Brina?” Angela asked, ignoring their grins.

“I don’t know. If he calls, I’ll feel him out. If this is some game he’s playing to get at Elise, I want no part of it. If he’s on the up and up…” she shrugged. “I’ll make a decision then.”

“He’s not playing a game,” Angela said, standing.

Curious, Sabrina looked at her. “Why do you say that?”

“Brina. The man’s fine, has tattoos, earrings, and that sexy accent going on. Owns two auto shops that make serious cash. He has women coming after him in droves. I bet he gets panties thrown at him all the time from his older female customers, alone. Now, I love you, you know I do. You’re a hot, foxy sister. But he don’t have to play with you to get laid. There’s a line, he just wants you at the front.” Angela picked up her purse, which had fallen to the floor. “Oh yeah, Pops sent me in here to get you guys, he has something to tell us.”

“What?” Sabrina jumped off the bed and looked at her watch. They’d been talking for over ten minutes.

“Oops,” Angela said as she ran out the door. The pillow Melissa threw in her direction hit the door frame.

“Brat.” Melissa stood, laughing.

She and Melissa strode into the living room a few seconds after a grinning Angela. Nana and pops were sitting on the short sofa, leaving the longer sofa for them. Cory lay on a thick comforter on the floor, fast asleep.

“Glad you could join us,” Pops said sarcastically.

Sabrina nodded and sat down. “No problem. What’s up?” He’d told her yesterday he wanted to make some kind of announcement.

Pops exhaled, looked at the floor, and then took a deep breath. Nana took his hand in hers. Sabrina leaned forward in her seat, her mind racing with various scenarios. None of them good. Had pops' health taken a turn for the worst? Was Nana sick? Was this a deathbed reunion? Tears stung her eyes over those possibilities.

“I need you girls to listen to everything first, and then I’ll try to answer your questions.”

Sabrina's hands twisted together as she struggled to swallow past the fear choking her. She wasn’t ready to lose her grandparents. They were the only parents she knew.

“A month ago I received a call from…from Harold. He wanted to get together to make amends. It took a few conversations before I agreed to meet with him. I wouldn’t allow Inola to go.” He looked at his wife and squeezed her hand.

Wait a minute, hold the damn bus. “Pops? This is about Harold, your son? Our sperm donor?” Sabrina asked as the dread over the possible demise of her grandparents lifted. She could care less about her deadbeat drug-addict biological parent.

“Your father,” Pops corrected in a stern voice. “Respect the position if not the person.”

Crisis averted, she shrugged, and leaned back, half-listening.

“He’s completed his program, has been clean for a year. Even working a job for the first time.” He looked sad and proud at the same time. “Been at it for the past six months. Has a small place and seems to be serious this time.” He looked at them.

Sabrina schooled her face. This was a different version of a familiar tune. The last time her grandfather had mentioned his son to them was when she was a sophomore in senior high. Supposedly he’d gotten cleaned up and wanted to visit them for Christmas that year. He’d been there less than five hours when Melissa and nana discovered their savings were missing. Pops had replaced Missy’s money, but the fury and shame covering his face was one Sabrina had never forgotten.

“Okay. Good for him,” Angela said, pushing off the sofa to stand.

“I’m not done.” Pops pointed at her. “Sit back.”

Angela nodded and scooted back in her seat.

He coughed. “As part of his recovery program he has to…he has to personally make contact with those he’s wronged and apologize.”

Sabrina’s eyes widened as her heart sped up. She glanced at the look of horror on her sisters' faces and knew they were all thinking the same thing. No way in hell would she talk to that man.

“I know this is difficult to… to ask. But I am asking. I’m doing more than asking because I think we all need this. There’s too much…pent-up anger and bad feelings. For years I hated my son. My own flesh and blood, I hated him for the things he did, for how he tore my family apart. When he reached out, we talked, and no…it wasn’t easy, but I’m better for it. I have to believe it helped him as well.”

Tears in her eyes, Nana spoke. “I’ve talked to him,” she said, looking at Sabrina, then Melissa, and finally, Angela. “A miracle happened, and the son I'd lost to drugs and alcohol so many years ago, had a three hour conversation with me that was logical, apologetic, and most of all, sincere.” She inhaled and Sabrina could only imagine the older woman’s pain. “He’s my son. Regardless of what he’s done, that’s not something I can change, nor would I want to. Am I proud of his past behavior? How he treated you girls? No,” she hissed, and inhaled deeply. “But the past cannot be changed. No matter how much we wish. Over the years, we’ve raised you girls to be responsible, loving, honest women, and you’ve made me…us proud. My love for you is absolute. Never doubt that.”

“But we are a family,” Pops said, taking over. “Family in good times and family in bad. Lord knows we had our share of bad. Now’s the time to work through the anger and pain that’s been nipping at our heels for years. I want each one of you to talk to him.” He stared at Sabrina.

Her jaw tightened, preventing the 'yes' she knew he expected from her. Harold Jones had been placed in a small box and buried in her mind. She refused to open it just so he could feel better or get better.

His brow furrowed deeply as he continued to stare at her. “Brina?”

“I love you, but I’m not going to see him. I’m glad he’s recovering. I hope his life becomes a bed of roses, but it won’t be because he uses me for therapy.” She shook her head, avoiding the sorrow in her grandmother’s eyes.

“It’s not just him who needs this, Brina. You think I haven’t noticed how you treat men?”

Shocked and hurt, she lashed out. “How I…That’s not the point, how I treat men is my business. I don’t need therapy.”

“Out of all you girls, you spent the most time with him. You need to let go of the pain, the anger, the disappointment from when you were small. A lot of your distrust of others is rooted in things that happened between your parents, and some things that happened with just your… with Harold. I want you to talk to him so you can ask your questions, I promise he will answer them,” he said, looking at all three of them before returning to her. “You don’t trust anybody. Why do you think that is? You never allow anyone, other than family, to get close to you. Don’t you want to fall in love? Have a family?”

“That’s not fair,” she cried out, hurting from the sting of his words. “I do…” She stopped, refusing to defend her actions. It was her business, not something she intended to discuss in front of everyone. “Harold means nothing to me. I’m not going to see him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you made up with him and Nana has her son back. But there’s nothing for me to get back, he was never a father, never a friend, not even a relative. You say he’s family…I never saw him as family.”

“You used to call him daddy,” Pops said, pushing her buttons.

“He’s my son and you see me as family,” Nana said.

“You are my family,” Sabrina said, defending her position.

“You’re separating a mother and her son?” Nana asked.

“No, he did that. Harold walked away from me. He made a choice, as an adult. I was a child who couldn’t make a choice. But now…now I can. And just as you and Pops honored his choice then, I ask you honor mine now.” The idea of opening up, discussing the things she’d seen him do, left her breathless with mind-numbing fear.

No one spoke.

“Brina…I hear what you’re saying, trust me, I do,” Pops said, his voice breaking. “But I’m going to ask you to do this for me. Please…talk with him. Clear the air. Yell, curse. Hell, slap him if you need to, just get it all out. He left you, that’s true. Ask him why? He lied, stole, called you names…I know. Confront him about everything. Don’t do it for him or yourself, do it for me.”

Silence.

Sabrina was too shocked to say a word. With his recent illnesses fresh in her mind, plus the thought of causing him a moment of grief, she caved and nodded. “Okay, when do you want me to go?” She asked, her voice a ragged whisper. Hell had just come knocking, and she had to walk through the fire to slay her personal demons. Throat dry, she wondered if opening up with Harold was the price she had to pay for her silence all these years. Mistakes had a way of rising from the dust of the past to cling to the present.

“We’ll stagger the appointments,” Nana said in a low voice, her eyes brimming with tears.

Melissa stood, her eyes glassy. “I don’t want to see that man. He stole more than just money from me. I’m glad he’s doing better, I don’t wish him no harm, but I…” Her voice caught. She swallowed hard, shook her head, and wiped her face with the back of her hand. “He will not meet my son. I don’t want him around Cory. If you have a problem with that… then we’ll…we’ll leave now.”

“It’s okay. I understand. He knows about Cory, but they don’t have to meet until you want. If ever.” He cleared his throat. “Let me make this clear, this is a one shot deal. All I ask is that you have a real conversation, ask, and listen,” Pops said, looking at each of them.

Melissa nodded. “Let me be clear, you and Nana, I’m doing this for you. As Brina said, he’s my sperm donor, not my father. One man holds that distinction and he’s sitting in this room.” Melissa paused and looked down at her son. “Believe me, I know the difference.” She stood, bent down, and picked up Cory. No one spoke as she left the room.

Sabrina looked at Angela, who sat with nostrils flared and her hands in a tight ball. Of all of them, Harold had embarrassed her the most. For the first ten years of Angie’s life he’d denied she was his child, despite the paternity tests which proved otherwise. He’d treated her with disdain, cursed her out, and openly favored the two older girls over her. By the time he gave in and recognized Angela as his own, that bridge had been burned, the gap was too wide. Worse, by treating Angela with contempt, Sabrina and Melissa refused to have anything to do with him, not that he wanted much to do with them anyway.

“Hungry?” Sabrina said to a silent Angela.

“No. I’ve got some things I need to take care of.” She stood and walked out without a backward glance.

“You think she’ll show up?” Nana asked, watching the empty hallway.

“I don’t know. She might. But the only dealings they ever had was him putting her down, and she’d never allow that again. Not from anybody,” Sabrina said, standing.

Pops sighed and wilted in his seat. “I don’t know what happened to that boy. I never understood how he thinks.”

Sabrina chuckled, it was a dry sound. “At sixteen he had sex for the first time, and got his seventeen-year-old girlfriend pregnant. As soon as she popped me out, she got pregnant with Missy. They waited two months before she got pregnant again with Angie. By this time, mommie dearest was getting tired of dear old dad and kicked him to the curb, along with her three babies. When she left for greener pastures, she took a big part of him with her.”

Pops nodded. “You’re right, he never got over Isabella. She was a nice girl, I suppose. She just didn’t want to be tied down. They were so young. Too young to have three beautiful babies.”

“But we always wanted more children. In a way we’re guilty for not doing too much to stop them. Isabella moved in here after she got pregnant with Melissa, and stayed until Angela was a year old. After that she moved to Tallahassee, I think. We never thought Harold would fall apart the way he did after she left,” Nana said.

“Drugs, gambling, drinking, and stealing. If anyone would’ve ever told me my son would do those things, I would have sworn it wasn’t him.” She swallowed hard. “Watching your child self-destruct is the hardest thing in the world to see. We couldn’t help him. I’m grateful he hit bottom so hard he helped himself.”

<<<<>>>>

 

After that bombshell, Sabrina went to check on her sisters. She knocked on Angela’s door and walked in. Her sister lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling.

“I’m not doing it.”

Sabrina wasn’t surprised at the announcement and remained quiet. She lay on the bed next to Angela and waited.

“That bastard never claimed me as his, so why should I go see him, talk to him. I don’t wish him well.”

Sabrina hated the anguish she heard in Angela’s voice and knew the cuts from Harold’s rejection still festered. She grabbed Angie’s hand. “Whatever you decide, I’ll back you.”

They lay in silence for a few minutes. Angela startled Sabrina by laughing. She waited until the sound quieted, knowing her sister would talk when she was ready. A dip on the other side of the bed and the scent of lavender signaled Melissa had joined them.

No one spoke.

“I’m twenty-six years old. Why can’t I let that shit go,” Angela whispered. “I don’t want to be angry at him anymore. That’s some serious negativity I don’t need.”

“I know, honey,” Melissa said softly. “Maybe you should talk to him. Cuss him out, slap him around a bit. I know that’s what I plan to do. Whether I feel good about it the next day don’t matter, I want to see his face when I tell him what I think about his stealing, no good, ass.”

Angela snorted. “Oh, I got some stuff I can say, lots of it. But that means I have to go back to that place, revisit stuff I put aside years ago...”

“You’ll have to deal with it, but this time you can get rid of it,” Sabrina said thinking of the box in the back of her mind. “I think that’s the worst, digging it all back up, dealing with the feelings from back then…ugh. I hate that.”

“Me too,” Angela whispered. “Hearing about him tonight, it just…planning to see that …him. It just brought up a lot of bad feelings.” She paused. “I hate this. I’m not that person. I wish everyone well. I’m the ship that slides past others in the night. I don’t care what other people do as long as it doesn’t bother me or mine.”

“It’s Harold, Angie. The ghost of father’s past, present, and future all rolled up into one. He’s been hovering around the edges of our lives forever. Now Pop wants to bring him front and center,” Sabrina said, picking her way carefully through this emotional land mine. “This might be the time we get to exorcize him once and for all. He’s played an unpleasant role in all our lives for a long time, maybe it’s time to kick him out of the theater and lock the door behind him.” She squeezed Angela’s hand. “The ball’s in your court. You’ve got this. His words lost their power a long time ago. I’ve seen you take on bigger bullies and gut them with a few choice words. Does the name Loretha Briggins ring a bell?”

Melissa laughed. “Oh my God, I remember her. She was a wrestler, right?”

“I think so, although she was in my modern dance class as well. I think she was gay and had a crush on me,” Angela said.

“No,” Sabrina said, laughing at the look of horror on Melissa’s face.

“Yeah, actually she told me our Junior year, asked me out. She waited till you had graduated Brina, she was scared of you.”

Startled, Sabrina chuckled. They traded barbs and reminisced, easing the tension with laughter. Two hours later, relaxed and now with a strategy, the sisters decided to call it a night. Before they left the bed, Melissa looked at Sabrina and then Angela.

“You know what this means, right?” Melissa asked, clapping her hands.

“What?” Angela asked warily.

“Shopping trip. I got dibs on where we go. I vote D-land Mall,” Melissa said with a large smile. She knew Angela and Sabrina didn’t like the mall. It was huge and they always wound up spending too much time in the place.

“Only if Cory comes along,” Angela said, laughing at Melissa’s scowl.

“If he comes, we can’t stay long,” Melissa protested.

“Exactly,” Angela said.

“Okay, you pick a place. I want to get a dress and some shoes for work. I’m going on a business trip in two weeks. Who knows I might get lucky and meet Mr. Right,” Melissa said.

“What happened to all that 'love the one you’re with' stuff you were preaching to me about?” Sabrina said, leaning up on elbows to peer at her sister.

“You’re bolder. That stuff always work for you, not me. I have to take a subtle approach. Soft, clingy dress, heels, hair done just right…” She sat and pulled her hair up, while batting her eyes.

Angela laughed and shoved Melissa off the bed.

“Hey,” Melissa shouted, and then laughed as she crawled back on top. “That works…some times.”

“Sure it does,” Sabrina said, her tone conveying her doubt. “I’m up for shopping tomorrow, just not at that mall. It takes too long and you always wanna go in all the stores with anything decent in the windows. Angie has good taste, I vote she picks where we go, and I’ll pick where we have lunch.”

“And what am I picking?” Melissa looked at Sabrina.

“The congratulation gift for Harold of course.” Sabrina laughed at the look of horror on her sister’s face.