12
Wife
Synapse Log 9 Feb 2210, 09:00
Inspector of Wrecks
So she comes to me early and says: ‘Sorry about yesterday. Won’t happen again.’ Everything’s back to normal. Not a word about what happened. Call me a coward, but I let it rest. I’m just relieved that Nona’s behaving like herself again.
Apprentice
And I tell him that I think that the game has moved from the VR suite and into my head. He says nothing for a little while then asks me, did I drink anything from the shipwrecked vessel’s water supply?
He
My first thought was that she’d swallowed nano-bots, a later form of VR. It was the intermediary technology between the ancient VR and neuro games, now children have the transistor implants into their frontal lobes when they get their jabs. But she says no.
She
I can try to control it. Do you ever hear sounds like a roaring of waters inside your head, perhaps the cerebrospinal fluids as they circulate round the dura mater and the pia mater membranes? I’ve tried listening to the noise, even as it drives me mad, letting it roar to its full volume. Then, when I can’t bear it any longer, I hold it still. So with yesterday’s living dream. I saw it, I lived it and now I choose not to let it spill out of the VR frame and into my life. I can control it.
He
I pretend not to know what she means. But I do. So, I’m brusque and businesslike. We put on the helmets to see where we stand.
Joint Thought Channel 9 Feb 2210, 09:02
Inspector of Wrecks
The scene in front of us looks like a tarot card: The Lovers. Math stands between Lleu and his bride, whose back is to us.
Nona, if you like I’ll take her part.
Apprentice
No, it’s all right. You want to be Math for good reasons. I’ll take her. It’ll be all right.
Inspector of Wrecks
If you’re sure. I just think that Math is king of this realm and that I haven’t paid enough attention to his interface.
Apprentice
With what?
Inspector of Wrecks
That’s the thing. I still need to find that out. So, you get to be bride.
Apprentice
And was there ever a bride like me? I’m the one who all the girls are trying to be with their pinks and creams, bouquets and manicures.
Inspector of Wrecks
And Math officiates and the two are wed. What’s she like?
Apprentice
Full of awareness and rage to live.
Inspector of Wrecks
She looks all sweetness.
Apprentice
She isn’t. She speaks in fragrances. Now her pores exude the smell of almond. I wonder, how keen is Lleu’s sense of smell?
Inspector of Wrecks
Math’s very sensitive. Not sure about Lleu. He seems impassive, looking very pale.
Math’s a kind of scientist of the forest. This is what he perceives: top notes made from the sexual secretions of flowers, odours mimicking the animal’s own sex pheromones. There’s a faecal whiff there somewhere.
Middle notes: resins that also recall the sexual smells that attract creatures useful for pollination.
Top notes: floral. Innocuous, sweet. A cover for the real business below in the sex juices.
Apprentice
She’s hypersensitive to light and has placed herself, like a fashion model, to best effect under the spotlight of available sun. It looks like vanity, but it’s not. It’s the drive to survive.
She dances without moving. Her mind makes large gestures in scent.
Inspector of Wrecks
I’m getting it, loud and clear. She’s nervous but curious, puzzled by what’s happened. There’s stress in the mixture. A touch of toxin.
Apprentice
She stares at her husband. Her sight’s acute but attuned to temperature. She senses the exact gradations of heat on his flesh, the scarlet groin and armpits, the way the body cools at its green extremities. To her he’s a multicoloured body.
He turns to her and speaks. She can see his lips moving but can’t hear noise, only as vibration. She turns to Math. He vibrates at her too.
Inspector of Wrecks
Gwydion and I will have to work on that, she needs to learn language.
She
I’m a synaesthesiac. Noise runs through the filaments of nerves in this new… shape. I’m hungry and I need to eat light.
I look down at myself and feel a shock. What kind of a flower have I become?
The plant next to me takes my hand, his face grows larger. He smells disgusting and I pull away.
Then the full horror of what’s happened to me hits me: I am a flower made of meat.
*
Synapse Log 9 Feb 2210, 16:00
Apprentice
Do you think the people who lived on this ship ever imagined that we’d be poking around, trying to find out what happened to them? If they had, surely they would have left more clues. An accurate log? An SOS before they all died? A message in a bottle?
Maybe they did but we just don’t recognise it. Campion thinks that it’s all in the VR but I’m trying to tell him that it’s moved outside.
It’s as if we are the imagination of the ship. What happens between us is what it wills. Only he doesn’t yet know it.
I feel autistic, as if the world is standing too close for comfort. Movement’s disturbing, as I have to track even the tiniest change of angle, disposition. I feel light moving around me, and I follow it, inching like an invalid around the module. I find I like to sit where the sun hits the hull and I turn my face to the wall, basking. I’ve moved my hammock to the other end of the capsule, to maximise my time in the light.
Lack of gravity confuses me now as it never did when I first came on board. I feel I’m growing in a vacuum and my mind doesn’t know which way is up.
When Campion talks to me, I look at his mouth, hoping that lipreading will make some sense of the words but it doesn’t. So I nod, make sounds back, don’t know what I’m saying half the time.
What’s different is that I feel his heat wherever he is. When Campion moves above me along the cabin sole, the shadow he throws moves across me. After all, I’m married to light. I want the full glare of his attention, though Campion never gives it. I need it like food and yet the man is fiddling with logs and with manuals in which I’ve lost all interest.
I send out tendrils of scent which he ignores. I can hear what he thinks.
Synapse Log 9 Feb 2210, 16:00
Inspector of Wrecks
If I hadn’t blocked my sense of smell after the incident with the perfume, I don’t know where I’d be. It was easier than putting all the ship’s air through a phero-filter, which would have taken hours and distracted us both from the task in hand. Time’s running out.
She
My body still looks like itself, but I’m different. I feel phantom pain. I can’t even locate it, but I know that I used to be more diffuse, much less protected, as if this flesh which I wear like a set of rotting clothes cases me in.
He
This marriage of Lleu and the woman of flowers, I wonder if it can be read as a metaphor for what happened?
She
No, stupid, it’s literal.
He
Funny. Where did that thought come from, out of the blue?
She
He’d have a fit if he knew that I hear him now.
He
So it’s literal. An odd inspiration. I know that the human brain itself is a VR system, and that language is the second imaginative technology, at one remove from original awareness. By the time you get to VR – even the early systems like the one on board the shipwreck – it all looks like a hall of mirrors in perception’s funfair.
She
Funfair? Now you’re really showing your age!
He
Funny, I could have sworn that tone of voice was… no, that’s ridiculous.
Apprentice
I’ll try an experiment. If I make the rootlets of my mind reach out into Campion’s, how far can we go? I close my eyes, and try to make myself discern the areas of vibration, where the axons fire across the synapses. I send out tendrils as fine as the most delicate hair, up through his spinal column, round his tongue, hungry for the taste of his mind. I feed on his eyes and bump into the dome of his skull, so I feel his impressions.
He
Of course, being Protestant I believe that it’s all a question of symbols.
She
I can taste his thoughts…
He
But what if…?
She
That’s right, stupid. What if it’s far more miraculous than that? If imagination isn’t something that stands to one side, making a discreet version of the world but, instead, transforms the matter of every subject it touches?
He
Yes, like the Catholic wafer, transubstantiation!
She
Trans- what?
He
You mean you don’t know the difference between that and consubstantiation?
She
Just joking. I do.
He
Nona? Is that you? How did you do that?
She
What?
He
I’m on Synapse Log but we can hear each other.
She
What do you expect? Now that we’re married we can hear each other all the time.
He
What do you mean?
She
Now that I’m Blodeuwedd and you are Lleu.
*
Synapse Log 9 Feb 2210, 21:00
Apprentice
It’s not as if I made a pass at him, or anything, I was just being consistent with the role he asked me to play. Supper tonight was as awkward as any we’ve had on board. But he knows that he can’t ask me to be professional in this investigation and then complain when he gets more than he bargained for in VR.
Inspector of Wrecks
I’m at a loss what to think of developments this afternoon. I don’t have a theory, find myself paralysed, especially as now I don’t know what Nona can hear or when I have my thoughts to myself.
She
As Gwydion would say, we’re all storytellers here and so we can hardly be surprised when our versions dovetail or clash with those of other minds. The strange thing is that we no longer need to go into the VR for the story to be taking place in us.
He
The one thing I do know is that, after the wedding, Math gave Lleu a domain of his own for him to rule over. Good, fertile land. And what was it like? I have no idea.
She
Blodeuwedd stands next to Lleu and turns by tiny degrees towards her husband, like a plant that follows the sun till their mouths meet and, ravenous, she eats the light.
He thinks she looks gorgeous. She thinks he smells of offal.
He
I’m Old School and believe you should never anthropomorphise plants. They’re entirely passive, don’t have minds like us, they just react to stimuli.
She
Gwydion and Math’s magic is primarily visual. They thought that a woman made from flowers would look good. But the body has a way of taking over the story.
Lleu is the light that, invisible himself, shows up all the other characters: Gwydion, who’s determined to make a story for him, Blodeuwedd, who turns to him because she has to obey the sun.
He
If the VR story is, in some way, a symbolic commentary on what happened on board this ship, then why the concept of mixing the DNA of plants and humans? What evolutionary advantage could it possibly confer on humans? Maybe that light is plentiful in space, would be endless fuel if the ship…
No, that’s ridiculous.
She
Campion thinks that he’s so open-minded, but he’s only beginning to see it. That the ship didn’t come from Earth but from much further away. That it came from a place so distant that humans and plants had time to marry, like Blodeuwedd and Lleu, to evolve together. What if we read the VR myth as a literal, not metaphorical, account of what happened on board?
He
Do you have any idea of the distances that kind of evolution would require? It’s madness to think it.
I have no idea what’s going on. All I know is that Lleu and Blodeuwedd cling to the ship that holds them, as if to the mother that neither of them has ever known.
*
Synapse Log 9 Feb 2210, 23:50
Apprentice
Even when I sleep, I’m not still for a moment. I tango with light and temperature. My mind counts its losses at night and thoughts, like vines, oscillate involuntarily in dreams. There are notions that my roots evade, like stones in the soil. I simply go round, seeking out moisture and a place to stand from which I can grow. I don’t think, I revolve and break new ground and the burden I carry is heavy, as if I were lifting a boulder. Ah, the so-called sleep of leaves, far from inactive. I inherited habitual movements in order to seek just the right amount of illumination.
A plant is an animal that can’t yet move. Except if it’s in a spaceship. Using a vessel as her legs and a man as her servant.
Gwydion and Math’s spells are all very well, but their cunning only gets them so far. They ride roughshod over people to get their way but they are absolutely no match for real, bodily imagination, for a plant intent on travel.
And don’t tell me that a plant can’t traverse vast distances, manipulating the desires of others to her own end. In that particular survival strategy, beauty is the killer.
*
He
Now that we can hear each other’s thoughts, even if we’re in separate rooms, I’ve given up on the Synapse Log and the Joint Thought Channel. It’s enough to observe how the story unfolds.
Each day I wait until I hear the scrap of a voice, a clue. Then Nona and I – or should I say Blodeuwedd and Lleu? – start talking. And so what we are begins to take shape.
She
He’s getting less formal. I notice that he spends much less time at his instruments. He needs me to be a dream of myself as Blodeuwedd.
I’ve no choice in the matter. I’m a prop in his story, never mind the rage inside me. I hide that and present the blank of my petal face. He has no sense of smell, so I weave a fury of fragrance in the air around him – a spite of galingale, used by Arabs to make horses fiery. He talks at me and I exude a cloud of musk for my voluptuousness that he’ll never reach. He gabbles again and I reply with a mist of Japanese star anise, the mad herb, used to scent tombs.
Of course, they insist that I learn his talk. But does he ever bother to learn the language I speak incessantly to him?
He
I still think that the figure of Math might be our solution, an actual log of what happened on board this ship.
Lleu decides to visit his uncle at his home and leaves Blodeuwedd in the marital home. I think about missing kings and masculine power in the realm of magic.
She
If he’d smelt me, listened, he would never have gone.
The enemy of magic is time. They made me from summer flowers. Have you not seen the rust in meadowsweet blossoms, the brown of high summer as loveliness turns, as it must, towards its own decay? Have you not smelt its rank sweetness, like the stink of melon on the turn? Nearly delicious, but sickening.
He
Math the magician, the one who can make a home for the parentless, a kingdom for the rejected boy, cursed by his mother.
She
He knows that Nona’s predisposed to drown in a role. So he throws her into a story in which a plant is kidnapped into the human realm to please two magicians, whose only concern is how things look. This she construes as a gross assault. I swore to kill him if I was raped again.
Let him go to Math and let my imagination change the terms of the story. He has no idea how sap burns in the veins of a woman.
*
She
What’s the imagination of a flower? A bee.
I’m wandering outside the house one day and I hear a horn and dogs barking. A company of hunters. I follow and watch them, unseen.
The stag they’re hunting is tired. It’s been a long chase. This is no illusion with humans turned into deer. The animal’s panting and I can see a crescent moon in the white of its eye as its pursuers close in from behind.
I gaze, entranced, as the kill is made. The process takes its course. Before working on the body, the hunter removes his outer garments and folds them carefully, so that they don’t get soiled. He turns the felled deer on its back, spreading the hind legs. Then he makes an incision from the breastbone to the base of the tail. He slices through the hide, using the knife to keep the intestines away from the rest of the corpse. Then he severs the anus and draws that in to the body cavity, removing the intestines and bladder with great care and feeding them to the baying dogs.
The hunter’s forearms are bloody up to the elbow. Here is a man not afraid of death. He thrives on it, feeds from the feast of real time.
Next he works on the diaphragm, cutting into the chest cavity and pulling out the lungs. He spreads that open with a stick, to help the carcass cool. Next he turns the stag on its stomach and lets the blood drain out.
Then he covers the whole with a clean cloth and washes his hands in the nearby stream.
Behind the tree trunk, from where I’m watching, I smell my arm. The same kind of meat, in need of dressing.
When he passes the house with his company, I send a servant to invite him in.
He
Math and Gwydion’s magic works by distraction. It draws attention away from the undesirable aspects of life, inconvenient hatreds, like Aranrhod’s rage against her brother and Lleu.
She
The hunter’s a man who makes an art of death. That, I respect. He doesn’t use conjuring tricks to get round language.
He made a ceremony of meat and I found that exciting.
It was only proper that I should invite him in.
He
But what happens when flesh and blood enter the VR? The story takes on a life of its own. A death of its own.
And whose bodies are behind the tale? I look, but I can’t find Math or Gwydion, except in the layer of tricks. The narrative has entered an entirely new phase, in my body and Nona’s and I feel that sight – realm of magicians – is now a liability. This chapter’s written in blood, which has its own plots.
She
As does time. We sit at dinner and gaze at each other. The hunter’s unafraid of waiting and takes pleasure in letting things develop in front of him, without interference. I feel myself unfurl.
He smells me.
He
What if everything up to this point has been a distraction? A cover story to lead us away from what really happened here? And what if that was a battle between meat and magic? The body and imagination?
She
He’s a man used to reading the air for clues of an animal. He kept the stag’s scent glands, which he cut out carefully, to help him with hunting. He knows how to hide in the subtle forest of smells.
He
And what if Nona’s being eaten alive by this myth? I need to get back to her, but Math and his talking keep me at court.
She
No need to delay, when things take place in their proper time.
He comes to me like an idea and in the darkness we know the same laws. I lean backwards and let the bees of kissing come to me, their parabolas making a fountain that falls back into a basin. My suitor claims the pollen of a nuptial embrace. Labellum, proboscis, bristle and saddle strain to get closer. He feels the silk of my skin, is not afraid to tear the folded pedicle up, it straightens like a spring. I’m rich as an orchid under him. My new lover’s a guest at the nectary whose scent makes a conjugal tent above us.
And the shadow beneath us is Lleu’s death.
*
She
He breathes me in. The following day I won’t let him go.
He stalks me, the way a hunter should, every day a little closer. He pays me the compliment of hunting me blind, using only the senses of hearing and smell.
Second night, deeper, he feels me plunging down into the cold earth, seeking out moisture in the dark. Tendrils are a matter of principle, greeting the roots of trees like old friends, dancing with the molecules of birds decayed in the humus. I keep him with me another night.
Then he drinks me fully because he sees how flowers are meaningless in themselves apart from the seed and the falling leaf. The hunter loves me for how I was in bud and for my future descent into dead leaves and litter. And so we talk about how to kill Lleu.
*
He
With Math I learn nothing. At court, everything’s going well for Math. He’s there with his new wife, Goewin. He has a new footholder, a gorgeous young maid, whose lap he uses now that the war’s over.
I’m none the wiser about this case, except that I’m beginning to suspect that I should rethink the timescales involved. Myth is a shorthand for what happens over many generations. What looks, in the story, like a surreal event is in fact a hugely significant change in a society’s way of conducting itself. And in space, history means distance.
From exactly how far away did this ship originate? Forget for a moment how it appears – an Earth vessel of a certain age. Close your eyes to the design, the period touches, the tiny details which date a vessel. No, Campion, think, for once, with a mythical mind.
I scroll through the charts of stars I’ve memorised near to Earth. Corona Australis Nebula, five hundred years out, in the constellation Southern Crown. A smudged cirrus of debris and two bright eyes of new stars, where the radiation from explosions has cleared away the gas. It looks like an owl. Or the Pleiades, whose seven sisters are really a thousand or more. A blue light, Merope six hundred times more luminous than the sun.
I try to remember the next stage further out. As a boy, I took pleasure in devouring these sky maps but now I draw a blank.
I know. The dark nebulae are next, looking like streamers in a background so thick with stars it’s almost solid. Those are seen in the ionised light of stars six to eight hundred light years away, like Antares. Or the Helix Nebula, with its cometary knots, each one twice the size of our solar system, but looking like fancy stitches in a craftwork, or the firework of a second – a rocket shot into the night. Or the Snake Nebula, seen against stars twenty-five thousand light years away. Is that far enough?
She
Campion, I really think that, as Lleu, you should come home. That’s our way forward.
He
Well, none of my other ideas have worked. You’ve taken every part requested of you, done everything I’ve asked. OK. Nona, anything you say.
*
He
Loving a woman made of flowers isn’t easy.
She seems compliant, smiles at my talk. She looks as though she’s concentrating hard, struggling to understand my words. I try to help her and explain the ways of the court, but it seems to me that she’s bored. She goes walking constantly and I find her wandering outside the fort, as if she’s more comfortable in the open air.
She
He thinks he’s some kind of conservatory, a hothouse, in which I will thrive. He looks at me endlessly, I pretend not to notice.
He
I visit her timidly, like a humming-bird. I’m cautious, however, look at the bloom, dash off. I return, coming closer, lean back in the air, resting my wings on an invisible wire. Then I scare. Then finally I have the courage to sip. She lets me in.
She
Tell me, I say to him one day. How can you die?
I ask because I’m worried. What would become of me if anything happened to you?
He
So that’s why she’s always so distracted. My wife has been fretting. I can put her mind at ease.
She
And here’s where the story goes all medieval again. He says it’s not easy to kill him with a blow. The spear that would strike him has to be made only when people are at mass on Sunday.
He
Nor can I be killed indoors, nor outdoors. Nor on foot nor on horseback.
She
Tell me, I beg him, how exactly you may be killed.
He
It’s a matter, I say, of acting out contradiction. I’d have to be under a sort of roof but out in a field. Then I’d have to be standing with one foot on the back of a goat, the other on the edge of a bath. If I were hit like that, I could die.
She
Darling, your secret is safe with me.
*
He
Nona? Are you there?
She
Mm… I’m half asleep.
He
So am I, but I’m thinking whose magic stipulations are these? It must be a stage of the game with a different series of parameters.
She
This tells me more about Lleu than anything before, and I’m married to him.
He
Like what?
She
Well, look how he’s already imagined his death in such detail.
He
But it’s a highly unlikely set of circumstances.
She
Lleu’s a balancer. Look at his uncle Math, who’s not to be touching the ground, but yet not in the air. Lleu could easily be knocked over.
He
Just as his life has been a balancing act between his mother’s curses and his uncles’ magic spells.
She
Exactly.
He
But this is nothing to do with Aranrhod’s hostility to Lleu. Where did it come from? It feels like we’ve missed a crucial part of the story.
She
Yes, like maybe a bit where, as a wedding gift, Math decrees that Lleu will be immortal, except in circumstances which only he shall know and which should remain secret, or the gift is voided.
He
Then why tell Blodeuwedd?
She
Have you never told somebody something you shouldn’t have? Something deeply personal? As part of a desperate bid for intimacy?
He
I can’t say I have.
She
Are you quite sure about that? I can sense…
He
Quite sure. Lleu’s life depends on keeping Math’s gift to himself. Why would he risk everything?
She
Oh, I don’t know. Maybe part of him wants to see what would happen if he stood in the riskiest place. Here’s a man whose life has been subject to conditions. He can live, but he’ll have no name. He has a name, but he’ll have no weapons. He has arms, but he’ll have no wife. At last he reaches full maturity, has his own home, so no wonder he wants to live like any other man.
He
But he’s not other men and he’s inviting Blodeuwedd’s betrayal. Why would he do that?
She
Imagine you’re married and you love your wife. There’s one thing you can’t tell her. What more precious gift could you give her than that, a token that you totally trust her with your life?
He
But Nona, do you think he can trust Blodeuwedd?
She
That’s not the issue, it’s what Lleu must do to make himself feel most alive. He needs a betrayer. Think! He drew his first breath and was denied by his mother. That’s the primal scene of his being. He loves his wife precisely because he’s not sure that she’ll keep his secret. It’s the only language he knows approaching intimacy. Ironic, he gives Blodeuwedd the secret of his own death and that’s the most married they’ll ever be.
He
Of course, his uncles have always saved Lleu’s hide.
She
So far. But any man would want to prove that he could make his way without being rescued time and again by his elders.
He
What does Blodeuwedd desire most?
She
To eat the light and be free to follow her nature. And what about Lleu?
He
He wants, I think, to be fully seen by Blodeuwedd, apart from his uncles’ conjuring tricks. His death is the best gift he can give her.
She
I’m feeling tired. Need to go back to sleep.
He
I’ll leave you alone.
She
Campion?
He
Yes.
She
You know you can trust me. Tell me your secret.
He
Bugger off. I’ll tell you tomorrow.
*
He
Can’t sleep. Keep thinking, going round and round this current scenario. Nona’s right, Lleu’s a balancer, he’s always walked a tightrope. They say such artists shouldn’t look down. But what if the thought of falling takes root in his mind? The air whistling around him becomes attractive and he wants to see the ground rushing up to kiss him with its real embrace.
After all, there can be safety in falling. What else is our orbit but a fall towards the surface of Mars at a consistent rate, so that we describe the arc of a circle?
Now I have to ask myself: What is my secret? I’m a man who’s lived alone. But isn’t the truth that I’d ditch the fortress I’ve built round myself in an instant if I knew that a person saw me, could imagine me whole, including my dying?
I know why Lleu’s crazy about his wife. She’s the only one who’s bothered to ask him the basic question. How will he die? Everyone else is so deeply concerned with making him live. Only Blodeuwedd can see that his death is the sole event he has under his control. And he chooses to give it to her; he loves her for everything that will happen now.
This investigation has entered a completely new phase. It would frighten me if I thought too long about it, but it makes me so alive that I can’t stop. This isn’t professional, nor even sane. But I’m willing to wager my own death to find out what happens. Will she?
I look to see if Nona’s sleeping. I catch the glint of an eye, but I might be wrong.
*
She
So I tell Lleu, You have to show me exactly how it could be done, so that we may avoid it.
In VR time it’s a year later. The hunter’s hidden in the woods, with the spear he forged each Sunday while people were at mass.
He
As Lleu, I’m enjoying the game, want to see how close I can come to the scenario of complete disaster without succumbing. After all, every time so far, I’ve survived.
She
I’ve had the arched roof made sturdy and thatched. And under it men have placed a tub, and filled it with water. Would you care to bathe?
He
I will, with pleasure.
She
So I watch Lleu wash. I admire him, how streams of diamonds fall from his body. I point out the billy goats grazing nearby. I invite him to see if he can stand on the tub and a goat. An experiment.
He
We laugh. Won’t be easy. The goat is skittish and pulls against the halter that holds him. I put my bare foot on his warm back and it falls into a reverie. I’m balanced on the bathtub’s ridge, not inside and yet I’m under a roof, standing tall between heaven and earth.
She
I turn to the woods and see a spear hurtling towards Lleu. It’s a shaft made of time. No man, however enchanted, can stand against it.
He
It surprises me utterly. I jolt awake to find the emergency alarm sounding, lights flashing. The hull’s been pierced by a javelin of light that hits me, stays in me, burns.
She
I find Campion in the docking module. He’s jammed against a tear in the seal between our ship and the wreck. I close the hatch manually, cutting off the leak, then haul him back into our ship.
He’s white as a sheet. Tenderly, I put him to rest in his sleeping net.
I wait.
*
He
Suddenly, I enter Lleu’s mind completely.
I leave the scene of my death, an eagle.