Declan braced himself for her reaction to his answer. “My father.”
Willow’s breath hissed in, and her hand flew to her mouth. The fact his father did this to him was worse to her than the idea of him enduring beating after beating until his needs were satisfied.
His father, the man who was supposed to love him unconditionally, had tortured him instead. A sob lodged in her throat. She had no idea what she could say or do to make any of this better.
Their lives were so completely different. She’d grown up in a household so loving there were times when it was almost suffocating, and she’d never once thought her parents would hit her. He’d grown up mostly alone and with the knowledge he would one day become a fighter. And then the only parent he had left turned on him.
With no idea how to take away the suffering he’d endured, she gave in to her instincts and stepped closer to him. Wrapping her arms around him, she flattened her palms against his chest as she rested her cheek on his scars and hugged him.
No child should ever endure what he did. It was centuries ago, but she knew the scars on his flesh were nothing compared to the ones lingering on his soul. These scars were the reason this beautiful, strong, and caring man believed he would make a horrible father.
After seeing this, Willow knew how incredibly wrong he was. Anyone who survived this and was still a good man would make an outstanding father.
At first, Declan didn’t know how to react to Willow’s embrace. Then he rested his hands over hers and squeezed them in his.
“He wasn’t a bad man,” Declan said.
Willow kept her beliefs about that to herself. “How old were you when this happened?”
Please don’t let him have been a child. It was bad enough he’d suffered through this kind of abuse, but the thought of him being a defenseless little boy when it happened was more than she could bear.
“I was forty. It happened after he became a Savage. I mistakenly believed I could reason with him and convince him to return with me to see Ronan. He’d caused so much destruction by then and terrorized so many humans, but I refused to believe I couldn’t save him.”
He’d been in denial, and it ended the second he was close enough to speak with his father. The emotions that battered him as he stood before the man who, until then, was a good man told him how far gone his father was. Where he once exuded strength, determination, and a caring for Declan and others, rage and a sick, twisted pleasure emanated from him, as did the stench of rot.
Still, Declan hadn’t been able to walk away without trying to talk to him. He’d paid for that mistake.
“He was a good man until he turned Savage. I believed I could bring him back and somehow rehabilitate him with Ronan’s help. Even though nothing like that had ever happened before, I refused to give up hope. My father wasn’t a warm man; we fought Savages well together, and I admired him, but I can’t recall a time he hugged me or told me he loved me. However, he was my father; I know he cared about me, and I cared about him.”
He didn’t have to say the words; Willow understood he’d hoped his father cared enough about him to save himself. “Just because he couldn’t be saved doesn’t mean he didn’t care for you. Once he became a Savage, he stopped being the man you knew.”
“I know.”
“But you think he should have cared for you enough not to become a Savage. From what little I’ve learned of him, you’re nothing like your father, Declan. You’re one of the warmest and kindest vampires I’ve ever met, and believe me, when it comes to families and vamps, I know a thing or two. You’re an amazing man, and you’ll be a fantastic father.”
Declan slid his hand up her arm as he held her closer. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
“A whole lot of good because I’m pretty awesome.”
Declan chuckled. “That you are.”
They stood for a while, holding each other. Willow was starting to wonder if he would continue when he spoke again.
“My father was a purebred; he trained Ronan and was older than Ronan. I was young and stupid and no match for him. I tried to talk to him, and he didn’t want to hear it.”
“So, he beat you to punish you for that?”
“No, he beat me because he decided to turn me into a Savage too. I went to rescue him, and in his twisted mind, he believed he was saving me. Or I should say, he thought he was freeing me. At least that’s what he repeatedly told me. He didn’t know pain was also something I thrived on; I’m sure he assumed it was sex as that was an obvious conclusion.
“What he did to me probably would have broken other vamps. I was starving, desperate to eat, and unable to repair the wounds he repeatedly inflicted, but his torture also worked to keep the demon at bay.”
“How long did he do this to you?” Willow braced herself for his answer.
“A week.”
Willow’s fingers dug into the muscle of his chest as she hugged him closer. She would give anything to take away the suffering he’d endured as well as the mental anguish that must have come from his father doing this to him.
“Why did he stop?”
“Ronan found us and killed him. He released me from the chains my father bound me with and took me home. It took weeks for the injuries to heal. I’d fully matured by then, but I was still young, and my father hadn’t given me any blood while holding me captive. The number of blows, burns, and knife cuts he gave me, plus the depth of them, combined with my starved state, are the reasons why the scars have never completely gone away. They have faded since we became mated.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Your blood has made me stronger, and our bond has weakened the past’s hold on me.”
Now she was close to tears again. She tried not to sniffle as she blinked away her tears and tenderly kissed one of his scars. She was glad she hadn’t seen them before they faded; they were bad enough now.
“No matter what he did to me and what he became, I never could have killed him,” Declan said. “I wanted to destroy what he’d become. That’s what my father would have wanted me to do before he turned into a monster, but I loved him.”
Unable to stop it, a single tear slid free and ran down his back. His beautiful scarred back that hid the wondrous soul beneath. He held far more secrets than she’d realized, but she was so incredibly happy that destiny had chosen him as her mate.
“Was it difficult for you to be around Ronan afterward?” she asked.
“Not difficult so much as awkward,” Declan said. “He’s the only other one who knows what caused the scars. After what we’ve all been through and all our battles, I’m sure some of the others have seen them over the years, but they’ve never asked about them, and they never would.
“After Ronan cut me down, he cleaned me and made sure I would survive. I was young and proud, and I felt like a foolish child afterward. I was grateful to Ronan for being able to do what I was too weak to do.”
“Not being able to kill someone you love doesn’t make you weak; it makes you a man.”
“Ronan did what was right; it was the only option, but it took me a while to look him in the eye again. And then, when I faltered sixty years later, I had a harder time looking him in the eye. Ronan has seen me at my worst, and I’ve seen him at his. We are more than friends; we are brothers.”
But then, he considered all the original members of the Alliance his brothers. And now his family was growing and expanding to include a mate with more brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews. It would be strange being around such a large family, but he would figure it out for her.
Willow kissed his back and held him as she listened to the steady, reassuring beat of his heart. “I’m sorry you had to endure this.”
“We all endure things in life that have the power to destroy us. They either make us stronger or they break us; the choice is ours to make.”
And he’d endured far more than so many others. He’d certainly suffered more than she ever had. Her uncle’s death was the worst thing she’d ever experienced before being ruthlessly hunted by Savages. Both those things were so small in comparison to everything he’d gone through over the years.
“I’m glad you’re my mate,” she said.
In her home, they rarely held back emotions—whether it was anger, tears, happiness, and especially love, they let it all out. Saying those words to him made her vulnerable, but her vulnerability was nothing compared to what he’d gone through when he revealed his scars to her.
Humbled by her words, Declan released her hands and turned to face her.