33
Whatever his role as father had been before, Jared realized it was minimal compared to what it was now that he had MJ three days a week while Tandi dealt with her father’s illness. As strange as it was, in the past month, he felt more like a daddy and not just a father or breadwinner. Getting MJ ready for school, making sure he was fed, making sure his homework was done, and checking his clothes was the new job Jared found himself immersed in. It was a lot to contend with, but he was learning. He had assumed that taking care of MJ would be a breeze; after all, MJ was potty trained. Not so. He was responsible for MJ’s every need, and that was substantial. Belatedly, he could see why Tandi had been asking him to help her. If she were speaking to him, he would humbly apologize to her.
Tandi called the house on the days MJ stayed with him, but she’d only speak to MJ. If he answered the telephone she’d say, “May I speak to my son.” After the second time, he simply called MJ to the telephone and after a while, he left the phone answering to MJ when he thought it might be Tandi. After talking to Glynn, he finally accepted that there was nothing he could say or do to make things right with her. Her anger was too deep. And he couldn’t blame her. Sleeping with Evonne was unforgivable. Hell, he was disgusted with himself. He could only imagine how bad it was for Tandi, and he was just beginning to see how badly their breakup was for MJ who was always worried about Tandi if she was late calling him. No longer was MJ interested in playing with his PlayStation. He didn’t want to go over to any of his friends’ houses, he refused to go to karate practice, he only wanted to stay home. MJ’s appetite had increased and knew no bounds, yet he gained no weight. Jared didn’t know if it was growing pains or stress.
The days he picked up MJ after school should have been fun, but MJ was often sullen.
“What’s up, buddy? You feel okay?”
He shrugged.
Jared nudged him. “What’s wrong?”
“Sean told everybody in class that Mommy don’t live with us anymore.” MJ turned his face toward the window. He was quiet.
“MJ, don’t worry about what other people say. You know and I know that your mother loves you no matter where she lives.” He continued driving toward his office, but he kept glancing over at MJ. He saw the tears streaming down his face onto his jacket. While he felt badly for him, he didn’t know what to say to make him feel better. Maybe the office was the last place either of them needed to be. Using his cell phone, he called Marci.
“Hey, it’s me. Anything I need to know about?”
“Mrs. Glautman just called saying she wants to accept the settlement offer Coles Pharmaceuticals made. She said she doesn’t want to stay in court for the next three years. I told her she needed to talk to you. I know how you feel about settling so low, Jared.”
Again, Jared glanced at MJ. His tears weren’t letting up. “Marci, call Mrs. Glautman back. Tell her that I’ll wrap up her case by the end of next week.”
“Jared, are you sure?”
“It’s a good offer. Anything else?”
“Well, you had a few other calls, and I told them you’d be back by three-thirty.”
“I won’t be back today,” he said, glimpsing MJ as he lay his head on top of his backpack sitting in his lap. His crying was silent but no less disturbing. “Marci, I’ll be in first thing in the morning. Take care of those calls for me. Have Raoul call Coles and get them started on the paperwork.”
“But, Jared—”
“I have to go,” he said, ending the call. Making a right turn, he headed for home, all the while trying to figure out what he could do to comfort his boy. That was something he never really had to do. That was Tandi’s job. He thought hard about what she would do, but he couldn’t call to mind any occasion since MJ was past the toddler stage where he saw her comfort him. That’s because he hadn’t been around. Unsure as to what to do, he lay his hand on MJ’s head to let him know he was there for him.
Once home, MJ raced up to his room and, again, because he still didn’t know what to do, Jared sat, helplessly, at the top of the stairs, listening to MJ cry until he cried himself out. After a while, in the silence, Jared dozed off.
“Dad.”
Jared awakened immediately. “Yeah, MJ.”
“Dad, if you and Mommy never get back together, we’ll never all live together again, will we?”
“No.”
“Will you get another wife?”
“I can’t say, but I don’t think so.”
“But you might?”
“Right now, I don’t see it.”
MJ seemed to visibly relax. Jared slid over and patted the empty spot next to him on the step. Once MJ was seated, he slid closer to him until they were touching along their thighs and sides. He put his arm around MJ’s shoulder and held him.
“Are you all right?”
“I miss Mommy being here.”
“Me, too.”
“She won’t marry somebody else, will she?”
“I don’t know.”
They sat quietly, each with his thoughts.
“Dad, is there something we can do to make Mommy wanna come back home?”
“MJ, I wish I knew.”
After a moment’s thought, MJ said, “I know. Tell Mommy I’m sick. She’ll come home.”
“Your mother would be mad at us if we lied to her about you being sick.”
“It’s not really a lie; I do feel sick. My stomach hurts.”
“That’s not really being sick, MJ. When I think about how unhappy I made your mother, mine hurts sometimes, too.”
“It does?”
“Yes, but after a while, maybe yours won’t hurt so bad.”
“Do you love Mommy?”
He squeezed MJ. “With all my heart.”
“Me, too.”
They sat thus in their silent thoughts. Jared about Tandi, the wife and lover he had hurt and lost; MJ about the best mother in the world.
Jared had an idea. “What say we go out for cheeseburgers?”
“Okay.”
“How about afterward we go to the movies?”
MJ perked up. “Can we?”
“Sure, why not?”
“It’s a school night. Mommy—”
“We won’t tell her. It’s a special night—boys’ night out. We need to unwind. You with me?”
“Yes!”
“Good. Go change into a pair of jeans. I’m gonna put on a pair myself, and don’t forget your denim jacket.”
Buzzzz!
“Who could that be?” Jared asked, looking down at the front door.
MJ jumped up. “Want me to get it?”
“I’ll get it,” he said, standing. “You go change.”
“What we gonna see?”
“Whatever you want, as long as it’s not violent or full of sex.”
Buzzzz!
“What I want to see is scary,” MJ said, running off to his room.
“Make sure you hang up your clothes and turn off the light,” Jared said, going down to see who was at the door.