The mid-afternoon sun shone in the clear sky above, casting its warmth to the assembly of people below. Ladies promenaded around the Earl of Winchshire’s beautifully curated garden, occasionally stopping to say hello to an acquaintance or commenting on a particular bloom's vibrant color. Their parasols served as more of a fashion accessory than a necessity since, although it was sunny, the temperature remained rather pleasant.
It was as close to a perfect day as anyone could ask for.
Yet Colin stood miserably among a group of very eligible, very eager young ladies and their chaperons.
They fluttered their lashes at him over their gracefully flapping fans and tittered at just the right volume whenever he could muster the wherewithal to say something witty. Their mothers boasted about their accomplishments, some more extensive than others. If he wished, he could propose to any of them and be talking over the details of a marriage contract with their fathers within the hour.
So why couldn’t he pick the low hanging fruit and execute his mission to find a suitable wife?
A pair of luminous brown eyes, as sweet as chocolate candies, floated from his memories. They used to stare at him as if he were Helios. Powerful enough to make the sunrise and set. The mental imagery slowly expanded, bringing into focus Juliana’s brilliant smile. He used to conjure it with a few offhanded compliments.
How things had changed.
Now everything he said was wrong. She scrutinized all of his actions for sinister motivations. It was all his fault, and he hated himself for that.
Imbecile.
Inconsiderate.
Inappropriate.
In the light of a new, sober day, Colin regretted everything about his rather ill-advised offer to Juliana. She was right. He hadn’t thought twice about what she wanted. He’d charged in like a bumbling knight in dented armor, attempting to save a damsel he hadn’t ascertained wanted to be saved.
The paradox of it all was that he did not wish to see her wed to someone else. The thought of another man enjoying Juliana’s affections brought forth an unbridled, jealous wrath that bordered on lunacy. He could almost visualize his fist hamming the face of her prospective husband.
He’d wanted to do something for her. To give her something she needed or help her reach an aspiration she longed for. It was a pity he’d forgotten that the best place to begin when attempting to help someone achieve an ambition was to first inquire what that ambition was.
Next time he’d... No, there wouldn’t be a next time. He had so thoroughly botched things with Juliana it would surprise him if she ever allowed him within a stones throw of her ever again.
“What do you think, Your Grace?” Miss Manning asked him.
“What? I—” Colin scoured his memory for the last several seconds of Miss Manning’s inane chatter, attempting to figure out the question she expected him to provide the answer to. His search came up empty. He hadn’t paid attention to anything the petite slip of a girl had said for the past several minutes. There’d been something about gardens, or curtains—perhaps card games, or something equally uninteresting.
“I beg your pardon, but I admit I missed your question. Would you be so kind as to repeat it?”
“Of course, Your Grace.” A pink flush bloomed on her cheeks, now aware he hadn’t been listening. “I merely asked if you’d be attending the masquerade at Vauxhall Gardens at the end of the week.”
“Ah, yes. Unfortunately, I will not be in attendance at that particular gathering.”
“Pity. I was rather hoping we might run into each other there.”
Colin noted the intense, meaningful glint in her eyes as she spoke. She held his gaze for a moment longer than was proper, then coyly dropped her lashes until they brushed her cheeks. Colin had partaken in more than enough liaisons to understand the subtle message in her words and actions.
Many a pair of lovers had enjoyed a late-night romp in the vast gardens at Vauxhall. Even if he were interested in such a tryst, he had a strict rule about not compromising marriage-seeking young ladies. The consequences could literally be death or life as a fugitive. No matter how magnificent the experience, giving a girl a green gown was never worth meeting an aggrieved father or brother at dawn.
This was his cue to leave.
“Indeed.” Colin glanced over her shoulder and pretended to notice something in the distance. “If you will excuse me, I see an old friend I need to see about a dog.”
He bowed to each lady, then hustled off with no particular direction in mind.
Juliana spotted Colin sitting in a chair on the Earl of Winchshire’s lawn, in front of the string quartet performing one of Ignaz Pleyel’s compositions. The musician was so well known that even without a single musical bone in her body, she could distinguish his style when she heard it.
He sat with his ankle propped on his knee, his fingers tapping the rhythm of the song on his boot. Where she lacked musical talent, Colin mastered any instrument he learned. He could make the strings of a violin weep in devastatingly beautiful agony or sing a melody fit for the angels.
She missed hearing him play. The day he’d proposed, he’d arrived at her family home in Kent and set up a picnic in the yard in front of the drawing-room window so her mother could keep watch. While she enjoyed the cheese, strawberries, and other refreshments, he had pulled out a violin and played a heart-melting tune that he’d written for her. If she hadn’t already been madly in love with him, she definitely would have fallen victim to the feeling after that.
A wave of overwhelming sadness and loss crept from the corner of her heart, threatening to submerge her into despair. Before the dark emotions could take hold, she put one foot in front of the other, marching forward with her plan.
She lowered herself onto the empty chair next to Colin, who immediately turned his head in her direction. He gawked at her, dazed and confused, as if seeing a phantasm come to life from the pages of a Gothic novel.
Juliana took a deep breath to steel her resolve. She leaned in, closer than what was considered appropriate, but necessary to make sure she could engage him in a whispered conversation. “Sobriety suits you.”
“In the context of the physical advantages, I agree. Because I am currently without an aid to silence the grisly howls of battle that continue to haunt me, I must respectfully disagree. Either way, I have abandoned the horrible habit of being a lush.”
Before she could think better of it, Juliana placed her hand over his. “I didn’t realize. Drinking is how you coped with witnessing the atrocities of going to war.” She hadn’t meant it as a question, but Colin’s confirming nod filled her with compassion. She was so lost in her anger, she’d forgotten about the suffering he’d endured. “My mother informed me you had become an army officer not long after we… parted ways. I’d almost forgotten. I prayed for your safe return for a long time. Is the torment great? Is there anything I may do to ease your burden?”
“No,” he replied, not clarifying which of her questions he answered.
Colin stared down at their joined hands, then back up, appreciation reflected in his eyes. Juliana looked away, suddenly uncomfortable with the shared intimacy. Plunged back into awareness of their surroundings, she quickly withdrew her hand, realizing what she’d done. Delusion, hope, or perhaps a hint of both, made her perceive a tender disappointment flutter across his features.
“May I ask why you’ve sought me out?” he asked, his voice light, dispelling the strain between them.
“I accept your offer.”
Colin’s brows knit together, his head angling slightly to the side. “Pardon?”
Juliana clenched her jaw. Did she truly have to remind him of their conversation from a day ago? She glanced over her shoulder at Lady Roxburrow, a short distance away, chatting with several other chaperons, keeping a watchful eye on their charges. A reminder of why she had to secure Colin’s aid, no matter the blow to her dignity.
She faced forward, focusing on the musicians. “Your offer to help me procure a husband. I accept.”
Colin turned his head and looked at the side of her face. He watched her silently. The usual indication that he wanted her full attention to make sure she heard him. She reluctantly rotated in her seat just enough to see his lips.
“May I ask what has caused your sudden change of heart?”
“I’ve learned that my circumstances are much more dire than I first thought.” She twiddled her gloved thumbs, needing a release for her anxious energy. “It is imperative I find a husband by the end of the season, else I may suffer a fate worse than any imaginable.”
“I see.” He looked as if he wanted to say more, but didn’t.
“Let’s not dwell on what we cannot change. How should we proceed? What brilliant tricks do you plan to teach me that will elevate my value on the marriage mart?”
He stroked his knuckles under his chin, his expression thoughtful. After several seconds, a roguish grin spread across his full lips. Juliana’s pulse quickened. She could never resist his mischievous smiles and the adventure they promised. Perhaps this wasn’t the best idea. He’d broken her once—she couldn’t set herself up to be broken again.
Colin sprang to his feet and offered his bent elbow. Juliana hesitated, then looked at Lady Roxburrow once more. She had no choice.
Marriage to Baron Cromwell frightened her far more than her feelings for Colin. She stood and tucked her hand into the crook of his arm.
“Before we begin your lessons,” he said as he led them away. “I’d like to apologize for calling on you in such a slovenly condition. As of late, I’ve been asking for your forgiveness more than ever before. I can’t seem to conjure the right words anymore when I’m with you.”
Juliana understood his sentiment. So much pain, unspoken declarations, and regrets laid between them. Navigating through the breadth of mistrust to heed his guidance would prove a constant battle. One she’d try to overcome with small olive branches.
“I’ll accept your apology if you accept my condolences for your father's and brother’s deaths. I’m sorry I never had a chance to express them.”
“As I’m sorry that I did not send you mine when your parents passed.”
“Thank you.” Juliana reflected on the grief that still plagued her whenever she thought of her parents. “I miss them every day.”
“I can empathize. I miss them both, but Robert, most of all. He should be the Duke of Herstshire, not me. Sometimes I feel guilty enjoying the privileges that were meant for him.”
“There is nothing to feel guilty about.” She stopped short, forcing Colin to do the same. She took his chin in her hand and pinned him with a meaningful look. “You didn’t wish for your brother’s death or covet his title while he lived. It happened, and there is nothing you could have done to stop it. The best thing you can do now is to create a legacy for your family, and the title, which he and your father would be proud of.”
“Thank you. Your words are the first I’ve heard in a long time to bring me comfort.”
“They are but the truth.”
“Which makes them all the more special.” He cleared his throat and turned his head, breaking her hold, then started them walking again. “Let us begin your instruction. Lesson one. You must show that you are a joy to be around.”
Juliana leaned away and eyed him suspiciously. “That makes no sense.”
“It makes perfect sense.” He grinned. “No man wants a dull wife that is a chore to come home to. You must show potential suitors that you know how to enjoy yourself and will bring happiness into their lives.”
“How do you suggest I do that?”
“By playing a game. In our case, that game.” He pointed into the distance, to the row of targets assembled in front of the tree line on the edge of the open lawn several yards away. A bow and quiver of arrows leaned against each target.
“Archery? I’m not very good at it.”
“Lesson two. Confidence. Always have faith in yourself. Most men don’t expect their wives to be perfect, as we hope you’d extend that courtesy back to us. However, there is nothing more appealing than a woman who has the confidence to try something new.”
“Very well. I can make a valiant effort.”
“I know you and I have changed from the individuals we were when we... when we were better acquainted, but there is a well of courage within you. You once raced me headlong through the forest, dodging branches and jumping your horse over fallen tree trunks.” His smile widened as he recalled the incident.
“Only because you challenged me and I wanted to impress you,” she replied, enjoying the memory of that rather invigorating day. “You made me daring.”
Her smile dimmed, as did his. It was true. Colin had made her want to experience many new things with him. His departure, followed by the death of her parents, had left her so shattered she’d forgotten that side of herself once existed.
No longer.
She would reclaim her confidence and use it to better her life. Starting with giving her all to learning and implementing Colin’s instructions.
They stopped next to an empty set of equipment. She released his arm and withdrew an arrow from the quiver.
“You will have to remind me of the proper technique,” she said, adding a boost of enthusiasm to her tone. “I’d hate to misfire and launch one of these at your rather large feet.”
Colin followed her lead to leave the gloominess of the past behind. His expression once again brightened. “As would I. I’d have to take spinning a young lady around the dance floor until she forgets how rakish I am out of my collection of seduction techniques.”
Juliana resisted the urge to flinch. She had no interest in hearing about the tricks he used to lure other women into his bed. A slight flush crept over Colin’s face, the realization of his blunder dawning.
This was going to be harder than either of them had thought.
He cleared his throat. “What I meant was—”
“So I place the arrow here, then pull back the bowstring and aim. Is that correct? Or am I missing something?”
He allowed the change in topic. “You are missing many things. Hold the bow in your left hand and the bowstring in your right. Nock the arrow here, then lift and aim.”
She did as he instructed.
“Good.” He stepped up behind her, lifted her right elbow, and then moved her left arm down a fraction.
Juliana gasped when his hands moved down and encircled her waist. He twisted her hips, then tapped her thigh.
“Widen your stance a little.”
She peered around them, checking if anyone watched. Thankfully, the number of people on the archery range had dwindled, and those that remained paid them no attention.
“Watch where you place your hands,” she attempted to whisper.
Colin’s head snapped up. “What did you say?”
Juliana stared into his eyes, then dropped her gaze to his lips, now mere inches away from hers. Colin’s eyes darkened, sensual awareness causing the affable instructor to give way to the carnal man who’d once made her think he wanted her more than anything else in the world. The air around them shifted, charged with memories of youthful stolen kisses and a new, matured curiosity of what could be.
“Ahem.” Lady Roxburrow strolled toward them, a raised eyebrow and knowing grin trained on the pair.
Colin jumped back as if Juliana had suddenly grown snakes from her head that could turn him to stone.
“Good to see you again, Your Grace,” Lady Roxburrow cheerily greeted him.
“Lady Roxburrow.” He folded his hands behind his back and bowed. “A pleasure. I hope you are well this afternoon.”
“I am. Thank you for asking.” Her gaze volleyed between Juliana and Colin. “It was kind of you to instruct my niece so thoroughly in the art of archery. However, I fear we must make our rounds before leaving.”
“Juliana is a dear and old friend. I am always delighted to assist her when, and how, I can.”
“So it would seem. Will we be seeing you at Lord and Lady Fansworth’s ball?”
“I will be in attendance, so yes, I hope we run into each other.”
Her eyes lit up. “Very good. You have a lovely day.”
“You as well, Lady Roxburrow.” He turned to Juliana and bowed. “Juliana.”
“Your Grace.”
Once she’d turned her back on him, Juliana dabbed her fingers to her lips. Would Colin have kissed her if Lady Roxburrow hadn’t interrupted? How did she stop herself from wishing that he had?