Juliana milled through the gardens at Vauxhall, unable to enjoy any of the beauty surrounding her. People dressed in elaborate costumes, smiling behind their feathered masks, danced, drank, and ate their fill. She’d watched the acrobatic performance with mild interest, then left Lady Roxburrow under the pretense of needing air.
In truth, she wanted to leave.
She hadn’t wanted to come at all. After crying for days, she looked far from her best. Charlotte did all she could to cover the puffiness under her eyes, but even the expertly applied paints and an elaborate mask couldn’t hide Juliana’s sadness.
She loathed Colin for abandoning her years ago. For the reason why. And for coming back into her life, rekindling the yearnings she’d taught herself to suppress. But that didn’t diminish her love for him. To her vexation, it had taught her that she’d never be able to give herself to another.
In truth. The more she’d considered his reason for leaving her, the more she understood the merit of his decision. They could not live with only love and not money. Though, she still wished he’d given her the courtesy of telling her why they could not wed instead of leaving her wondering for years.
The past few days felt like a repeat of that time. Colin hadn’t called on her since, revealing why he hadn’t come for her. She’d searched for a glimpse of him at each social function Lady Roxburrow had forced her to attend since then. There was never any sign of him. He might very well have left London for all she knew.
Left her.
Again.
Tonight, her heartbreak felt especially burdensome. Finding a secluded spot among the tall shrubbery, she dropped onto a marble bench to sulk. She snatched off her mask and set it down, closed her eyes, and cradled her face in her hands.
“What have I done?” she asked aloud.
“Juliana?”
Her eyes flew open, but she kept her face hidden in her hands. Too afraid to look and see that the voice was a cruel trick of her imagination. She slowly lifted her head.
Colin.
He was here.
He’d come for her.
Her heart flipped in her chest. It wanted to crawl up her throat, stand on the edge of her tongue, and confess its unending devotion to him.
“Why are you here?” Of all the more eloquent things she could have said, that was the trite question her mouth settled on.
“I love you, Juliana. I had to come. I had to try one last time. I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t.”
Tears pooled on Juliana’s lashes, then spilled silently down her cheeks. It took strength for him to stand before her. She understood how much now. She’d worked up the courage to seek him out countless times. Each ending with her nerve crumbling to ash before she made it out the front door.
He walked forward, cautiously at first, then seeing she did not object, he quickly closed the distance between them. He knelt in front of her, close but not touching her.
“Juliana, back then, I was foolish. I was a coward. I made a choice that affected the both of us, without consulting you. I couldn’t bear to see your face shrouded with disappointment when I told you we couldn’t marry, so I abandoned you. It will be a shame I shall live with for the rest of my life. You’ve always made me feel as though I was enough. I didn’t want to face the truth that I wasn’t. That I couldn’t give you everything you deserved.” He took both her hands in his and kissed each of her knuckles. “Please forgive me. Please, I beg you. Let me taste happiness once more. I swear I will live each day until I die, making you feel like it was worth it.”
Juliana opened her mouth to speak, but no words came forth. Her throat worked, swallowing down tears of elation. Instead of using words, she threw her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him. She kissed him deep and hard. Channeling all her love and dreams for their future into the action.
Colin wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly to him. They kissed until she couldn’t breathe. She pulled back, cupping his face between her hands.
“I love you! Colin, I love you so much. You were right. We wouldn’t have been able to survive without your inheritance. I wish you would have discussed it with me, but I understand your fear. I forgive you.”
“Marry me.”
“Yes. With all my heart, yes.”
Colin pulled her in for another searing kiss. Her hands traveled up his back until they burrowed into the soft strands of his hair. They kissed until Juliana felt as if she were in danger of bursting into a glorious flame of passion and need. She groaned in protest when Colin broke the kiss. He moaned low in his throat, his breath coming in ragged spurts, and then set her at arm’s length.
“We must go before I lay you down on the grass and take liberties I am not yet entitled to.”
“I can keep a secret,” she purred.
The corner of his mouth lifted into a sensual grin. “It appears you didn’t need my help at all, making a man desire you. Keep saying things like that, and you will learn how much I do.”
A mischievous, wanton woman she hadn’t known existed within her came to life, wanting to accept his challenge. Colin had been the only man she’d ever desired. To learn how brightly his passion burned for her was a temptation like no other.
She nipped his ear with her teeth. “I’m a quick study.”
He shuddered. “No!” He held her away again. “We will do this the honorable way, even if it kills me. I will apply for a special license tomorrow.”
“If we must.” Juliana pouted playfully. It was a heady power to affect him so. “Let us return before Lady Roxburrow becomes suspicious and searches for me.”
“Excellent idea.”
Colin leapt to his feet, then helped Juliana up. She dusted the specks of dirt and grass from her dress. He held out his arm, which she gladly accepted.
As they walked, fireworks exploded in the sky above. Juliana looked up and marveled at the beautiful rainbow of colors decorating the night. It was a rather perfect ending for their reunion.
Suddenly, Colin stilled. His entire body stiffened, and his muscles drew taught.
Juliana examined him but could find nothing wrong. “Is something the matter?”
He didn’t answer. She placed a hand over his heart. It thudded furiously. Pearls of sweat formed on his forehead. Another round of fireworks exploded in the sky. His body jerked.
Understanding dawned on her. He had mentioned not wanting to come tonight because of the battle reenactment. Drinking had been his way of coping with the chilling memories of war. The loud booming of the fireworks resembled cannon fire, and this was some sort of reaction to it.
Juliana’s heart both shattered and swelled with a new surge of love. He came tonight, knowing the suffering that awaited him.
She wrapped him in a hug and lowered his head to rest on her shoulder. She ran her hand over his back in a soothing motion. “You’re safe. You’re with me. I love you. I won’t let anything harm you.”
His arms slowly came up and latched onto her. His fingers dug into the back of her dress until the pressure was almost painful, but she didn’t complain. She held him in her arms, repeating the words of comfort.
“You’re safe. I won’t let anything harm you. I love you.”
They stood like that until a few minutes after the fireworks ended. Finally, his body relaxed.
“Thank you. I—” he began.
Juliana placed a finger to his lips. “I love you. All of you. That is all that needs to be said.”
Colin took her hand once more and placed a kiss against the back of it. They walked back toward the festivities, both lost in their love and gratitude for the other. Colin was the love of her life. The man who needed her as much as she needed him.
The day of their marriage couldn’t come soon enough.
Colin’s heart flipped over, standing in front of his wife. He lifted his hand to watch the gold band on his left ring finger gleam in the candlelight. Adrenaline rushed through his veins, anticipating what was to come next.
Juliana wrapped her arms around his neck, a shadow of hesitation in each movement. She kissed him softly at first, but soon passion flowed from her lips with the fierceness of a woman who knew what she wanted and claimed it. Gone was the innocent, self-conscious girl he’d courted long ago.
Colin kissed her back, trying to convey all the remorse, guilt, and promise of change in his heart. He held her tight against his body, savoring every second of the moment. She felt so good in his arms.
Their hands roamed over each other, exploring, remembering, and learning more about each other’s bodies. Her lips were as soft as he remembered. Her kisses still fierce, yet more mature. More confident. She slid her hands into his hair, then yanked on the stands, causing a slight burning in his scalp.
Bloody hell!
She was driving him mad.
Too soon for his liking, Juliana broke the kiss. She placed her hands on his chest, blocking his efforts when he tried to capture her lips again. “I’m not sure what to do next.”
The corner of Colin’s lip curled into a sensual grin. “I’ll teach you.”
He took a small step back. He didn’t want too much space between them. Having her so close was like regaining a piece of his soul he hadn’t known he’d lost. He’d be damned if he let anything come between them again.
Slowly, sensually, he began unbuttoning his shirt, exposing his naked chest one unhurried inch at a time. She watched him. He spread his legs wider, feeling like a king under her sensual admiring stare. Her eyes narrowed with the hungry delight of a predator observing their prey. A knowing grin spread across his lips. So, she liked what he offered?
Juliana crushed herself against him, devouring his lips in a carnal kiss that set his blood on fire and made the wonder of the universe flash before his eyes. Colin locked his arms under her thighs and lifted her up his body. Her hands dug into his hair, pulling, and inciting the wild erotic yearning only she’d ever had the power to create in him.
He carried her to the bed, holding on to his waning control. He needed to be inside her. Connected in the most intimate way possible. Hearing her scream his name. Watching her give herself to him, confirming she was his forever.
“More,” she said in a breathy purr. “I need more.”
Colin made quick work of removing their clothing, gravitating back to her lips to steal kisses between each piece. His body pulsed with the need to touch and be touched by her. He needed more. As if reading his mind, or maybe needing the same thing, Juliana grabbed his hips, drawing his body against hers.
Everything about her felt so good. He gently lay her on the bed. She slid across the mattress, never taking her sultry gaze off him. Her hips swayed in slow, tantalizing, graceful movements as she crawled to the center. She was trying to stop his heart.
Colin took in every detail of her tempting body. His throat constricted, his heart stopping, then thrumming in an uneven rhythm as a thought came to mind. “You’re perfect. Everything I’ve ever wanted. I can’t think of a single thing about you I’d change.”
To his surprise, her seductive expression faltered. He hadn’t expected her to preen under his praise, but he hadn’t expected to see… fear? No, he must be mistaken.
As if to prove the idiocy of that thought, she folded her arms around his neck and drew him close.
Lips inches apart, she issued a command, completely erasing his doubt. “Kiss me.”
Colin happily obliged her request. Their lips melded together, sucking, nipping, and giving everything the other offered. He pushed her back on the mattress, cherishing the warmth of her soft skin against his. With one long, tortuously slow stroke, he pushed himself inside her.
He stopped when sunk all the way in. Juliana moaned beneath him. Her warm exhale caressed his face, making it hard to hold back from spilling inside her. Perfect. He’d been a fool to think he could ever live without her. His world wasn’t complete without her.
“Colin.”
The low, husky way his name rolled off her lips set his blood on fire. He lifted his head to look into her dark brown eyes. “Yes, love?”
“I don’t know what, but I think something else is supposed to be happening right now.”
His chest rumbled with his laughter. “Yes, love. I should move my hips.”
Putting them both out of their misery, and plunging them into a sensual bliss, he rocked his hips back, then slowly forward again. He moved slowly at first, to keep the night from ending too soon, then increased his speed until he thrust into her with a powerful, almost animalistic desire. This is what she did to him. She made him want to give up control. To worship her. To follow her wherever she led him. To give her the world and make every one of her dreams come true.
Juliana purred beneath him, not holding back her pleasure. He continued rocking his hips, watching the ecstasy flicker across her alluring face. Her body tensed, the pleasure building inside her, pushing her closer and closer to the edge.
“Colin!” she moaned. “Oh, Colin. This feels so good.”
“That’s it,” he coaxed. “Let go for me, love. Show me how good I make you feel.”
Her face twisted with desire, her skin flush from the heat surrounding them. Colin held on to the waning fragments of his restraint, refusing to give in until she did.
“Oh. Colin. Colin!” She screamed her release, her body shuddering with euphoric bliss.
Colin finally let go, spilling himself into the heaven between her thighs. Spent, he rolled to the side, careful not to fall on top of her. Four years. He’d kept himself from this bliss for four years.
Damn fool.
He gathered Juliana into his arms, hugging her against his chest. She snuggled close and tucked her head under his chin. He held her, stroking a hand up and down her back until her breathing became even and shallow as she fell asleep.
Everything about the moment felt right. Juliana might not be perfect, but she was perfect for him.
“I love you,” he whispered into her hair before closing his eyes and following her into sleep.