6

DARCY AND BINGLEY REFLECT, CONFESS AND PLAN

Darcy’s long legs, and a compelling need to be away from Miss Bingley, allowed him to arrive at his study in record time. He was not fit company for either the gentlemen or the ladies still on their uniquely different fishing expeditions. Shutting the door purposefully, just short of banging it, he took a deep breath. How dare that woman attack Elizabeth in his presence? His face still registered the fury she had provoked as he sat at his desk. He pulled the packet from his pocket, opened it, and allowed the token of their afternoon in the cottage to tumble out. The ribbon she had given him now secured the curl. First he brought it to his lips, inhaled her scent, and then rubbed the lock against his cheek. It worked its magic, and his anger began to lessen.

Miss Bingley’s repetition of his words had reminded him of his conduct, his manners, and his expressions those many months ago in Hertfordshire. The remembrance of those events was still an inexpressible agony for him. Soon his reflections turned to Kent and an instance of pain of a much greater magnitude. Her reproof, he would never forget, ‘Had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner.’ He was certain she had yet to realize how that had tortured him. Someday he would have to confess the full extent of the transformation she had wrought… a conversion as profound as Saul’s on the road to Damascus.

He could not easily reconcile himself to those hurtful words… despite her love, and the gift of her body. Up until her rejection, he had not realized he had been such a selfish being; in practice. His parents and his tutors had given him good principles, but left him to follow them in pride and conceit.

During his first foray into the London Season, he learned his father’s values were very different from those of most of the ton. In that marriage mart, he had been encouraged to be selfish and overbearing… to care for none beyond his own family circle. The acquisitiveness and insincerity of the rituals only encouraged poor behaviour. After his first Season, he had determined that all women who participated, despite their flattery, cared for nothing but his fortune and connections. They inflamed his natural reticence, and had driven him to mask his true character in an aloof arrogance. His mission had been to keep all women and their mamas at arms’ length. In the midst of all his confusion over proper behaviour in choosing a bride, his father and mentor left him forever.

In telling Bingley of his apprehension, he had described eyes that glittered, cold and calculating, as they took their measure of him. His Lizzy’s look had been different, but, still, it had frightened him.

Caroline Bingley had flung his own hateful words about his beloved at him… in front of Georgiana, no less. What would she think of him? How could he explain to her that his words were an attempt on his part to ignore the enticement of Elizabeth? How could he confess such a thing to one so young and innocent? He would say he was attempting to persuade himself she was unworthy.

In Kent, he had proposed to her without a doubt of his reception. Her final observation that day came pushing and shoving into his consciousness. ‘I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry.’ He was struck by the truth she revealed with her words that day—she had had obviously not been schooled in how fashionable young ladies should behave when offered a lucrative proposal.

With a shudder, Darcy returned to pondering his youth. As he had grown and matured, he realized his parents were grudgingly envied because of the affection they obviously felt for each other. His desire to emulate that feature of their relationship, more than anything brought him in contention with the rules of the game. Amongst the ton, marriage was rarely about even admiration or respect; and almost always about property and status. But he desired something more—a love that quenched the thirst of his soul, his body and his mind. His mind wandered to his cottage and all those books and sighed. All the literary and historical examples of true love were such tragedies – Troilus and Cressida, Romeo and Juliet, Tristan and Isolde – offered death as the reward. Heloise and Abelard offered castration for him and a nunnery for her. Darcy winced and decided he needed to end this line of thought.

He returned to Miss Bingley’s words. She had said Elizabeth was short. He preferred to think of his beloved as light and pleasant. An image swirled into his consciousness. She was the perfect size for him to lift and carry effortlessly up the hill to his waterfall. A flash of fantasy of that event intruded… the warmth of her nestled in his arms as he walked with her into the pool caused a constriction in his groin—so much better than pondering castration. He laughed at his thoughts and remembered fondly her oft indulged in mirth. Deeming it inappropriate to indulge his arousal just now, he forced himself to consider Caroline’s statement that Lizzy laughed too much and that her frequent laughter distorted her mouth. To him, it made her mouth always appear as though it needed to be kissed as a thank you for her delightful humour. And, what did Miss Bingley know of eyes? She said Lizzy’s were sharp and shrewish. No, she was wrong! They could be fiery and fierce sometimes, but at other times they were impish and impertinent. Best of all, two days ago they had grown wide and sparkled with passionate expectation.

A few moments with that memory caused his mind to wander to Miss Bingley’s statement that Elizabeth had a type of boldness that was not at all fashionable. Finally, she had uttered a perfectly precise characterization, and he could not believe he had secured the love of such a woman. She was bold enough to both demand and give pleasure. Miss Bingley, he was beginning to believe, was a very fashionable woman who would never enjoy lovemaking. She was one who would send her husband into the arms of a mistress.

As he once again drifted into erotic recollections, someone knocked at the door. Georgiana entered warily. He smiled broadly at his sister and encouraged her to sit. It was time he explain his rude words that Caroline had disclosed.

As she sat in the chair opposite his desk, she had a look of exasperation. “Oh Will, why did you leave me alone with them?”

Darcy gave his sister a sheepish grin. “I am sorry Georgiana. It was unkind of me to forget your feelings, but I am afraid anger got the better of me. The danger was great! If I had remained, I was concerned that I would say something totally inappropriate to our guests.”

“Is it because you love Miss Elizabeth? The words Miss Bingley quoted from you momentarily confused me. But then I remembered what you wrote to me of her when you were in Hertfordshire. You were complimentary, and I assumed then you might be smitten.” She paused and seemed to be seeking out his eyes for confirmation. “Never, as long as I have known you, have you commented favourably on any other woman. Even after you returned, you continued to speak of her… but your words were tinged with regret.”

“Yes, I love her. I wanted to tell you yesterday, but the journey of my growing affection for her has been fraught with obstacles. It has caused me to be cautious.”

“Something happened in Kent between the two of you?”

Darcy laughed at the artless innocence of her words. “Yes. Something did, indeed, happen in Kent. She rejected me… quite vociferously. I went to visit Aunt Catherine for no other purpose than to have the opportunity to propose. The idea that she might have scruples with regard marriage to me never crossed my mind. I was in for a very rude awakening.”

“Brother, you are the best of men. To what could she have possibly objected?”

“The evening we met in Hertfordshire, she had heard me tell Bingley she was only ‘tolerable and not handsome enough to tempt me.’ Then I added an insult to my original injury by saying, ‘I am in no humour to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men.’ Miss Bingley’s words earlier were also accurate as to my spoken evaluation of her beauty.”

Georgiana’s eyes grew wide with disbelief as she said, “Brother, I find it difficult to believe you could be so unmannerly. Is it a common practice for men to critique women so openly? If so, I am now quite worried about being out! I am sure my fragile spirit would wither upon hearing such a remark.”

“No, I was incredibly rude and, more importantly, full of disguise. Those words in no manner reflected my true beliefs. I was attracted to her the moment our eyes first met. I said what I did to convince others, and myself, that the feelings stirring within me had no merit.”

“She appealed to you, but you felt the need to deny the attraction. Why Will?”

“She was not of our circle, her mother was common, and her two youngest sisters were inappropriately forward. I believed the attraction to be unbefitting to our family’s reputation. I left Hertfordshire with the goal of dismissing her from my memory and persuaded Bingley that her sister was indifferent to him.”

“Bingley felt attraction for her sister? Brother, your actions seem so unlike you. Why would you interfere in an affair of the heart professed by your best friend? Did you actually believe Miss Elizabeth’s sister was indifferent?”

“In retrospect, it is hard for me to determine whether I did or did not. My plan was to purge Miss Elizabeth from my mind, and it would have been a very inconvenient reality if my best friend became connected with her family.”

Georgiana stared at her brother in disbelief. “But what of Mr Bingley’s feelings?”

Darcy shrugged his shoulders and looked out at the wooded hills, remembering their secrets. “Everything else became subservient to my goal. I struggled with my appreciation and ardour for months.”

“Was that why you were so distant at Christmas? My belief during that time was that I was the cause of your distraction and despair—because of my disgrace with George.”

“Oh, my dear sister, how I neglected you after I returned from Hertfordshire! You were not my paradox. Miss Elizabeth simply refused to leave my consciousness. Many a day I would be sitting here trying to work and her presence would steal into my memory, and soon I would be reliving one of our verbal jousts. She is very witty and was forever forcing me to defend some of my most cherished beliefs.”

“Will, I wish you had spoken to me of your struggle. I believe we could have helped each other. Besides my mortification of being the victim of Wickham’s deception, it was so very painful to realize he did not love me. The knowledge of his chicanery did not take away my desire to be loved, and the memories of how it felt when I believed him to desire me refused to desist.”

“Georgie, your words tell me just how deficient I am as your guardian. Last Christmas, I did not know how to find love and happiness for myself; much less was I equipped to guide you. If it is any consolation, my feelings of inadequacy to help you through your sadness did come to my aid. Elizabeth is one of five sisters. She and her sister Jane, the one Bingley admires, have a closeness that I envied for you. Observing Elizabeth’s care for Miss Bennet when she was ill at Netherfield, set me to thinking of how I wished you had such a sister to be your confidante and best friend. My realization of how beneficial she could be to you, made me re-evaluate what I would gain by marrying her.”

Darcy’s gaze once again returned to the window, as he remembered the ride in the hills and his enlightenment upon seeing the cottage after so many years. He turned back to his sister and smiled. “After several months of her tormenting my soul, I decided to set aside my misgivings and propose. However, Miss Elizabeth knew nothing of my admiration. She believed me to disapprove of her, and was convinced I only looked at her to find fault.” Darcy’s face lit up with the humorous facets of what were very painful memories.

“Why do you smile?”

“Because, when I proposed I told her of my love. But I also felt it necessary to explain my mortification with becoming part of her family that I had spent months overcoming. Ah, I see you have the same look on your face Charles did when I told him. You look as if you believe I misspoke, and that no one could be that obtuse.” Shaking his head and broadening his smile, he continued. “I was, indeed! But now that Miss Elizabeth and I have resolved our differences, I am able to find the humour in my boorish behaviour.”

Georgiana caught the infection of her brother’s self-deprecating humour and giggled as she replied. “At least you know she is not a fortune hunter. Had she been one, she would not have cared what you said of her as long as she secured you.”

Will’s laughter this time came from his belly as he threw his head back and indulged, “No, she is no fortune hunter.”

“I am glad we had this talk. This is the first time the age difference between us has seemed to disappear, and we are just brother and sister attempting to help each other through the slippery slope of affairs of the heart.”

“Yes, I feel in the future the lines of communication will be greatly enhanced by this conversation, and by bringing Miss Elizabeth into our lives.”

Darcy’s face reverted to seriousness, and he attempted to clear his throat of the sounds of dread before he continued. “Georgie, I need to confess something else to you. When I was rejected by her, she also threw my treatment of Wickham at me. He had told her the lies of my denying him a living. His considerable charm had worked on her much as it worked on you. Though she had no fortune to collect, I believe he hoped to besmirch my good name with the people of Hertfordshire and Elizabeth in particular. I have wondered whether he knew of my admiration, but that seems improbable, as even Miss Elizabeth knew not.”

Georgiana looked apprehensive as she asked, “Does she still admire Wickham?”

“No, I wrote her a letter. I know it was a gross impropriety, but I could not bear her thinking poorly of me because of Wickham’s lies. Georgiana, I wrote to her of paying him for the Kympton living; and please forgive me, dear sister, but I told her about his scheme to elope with you. Accept my apologies for betraying your secret, but I trust her implicitly with the knowledge. She will never divulge what happened to anyone—I promise, dearest one.”

“Oh, Will, I am not unhappy with the disclosure. I welcome the thought I could speak to her of my feelings. I have wished for someone—a woman who could understand my sensibilities. Will she be my sister? Have you proposed again?”

“I have, but we have not spoken to her father. After she leaves Derbyshire, Bingley and I plan to go to Hertfordshire. I would like you to come with me to meet her family… particularly her sisters.

With her face beaming with excitement, she added, “Tell me about them, Will.”

Two are a bit boisterous, but they are close in age to you. Another sister is very musical—though her skill leaves something to be desired. The sister Mr Bingley admires is serene, elegant and quite beautiful. He dubbed her an angel, and perhaps she is as she shares his propensity to see the good in everyone she meets.” Darcy paused a few seconds as he considered how to describe his soon-to-be mother-in-law. “Mrs Bennet is determined to find advantageous matches for her daughters. Her comments about my income, and that of Charles, when we first met, seemed common and coarse to me. Her father is a bit of a mystery. He seems to shirk his duty as a parent to his youngest daughters, but he is very close to Lizzy… Miss Elizabeth. I believe she shares his wit and intelligence.”

Georgiana’s smile was replaced by fright at the thought of meeting so many new people. But she put on a brave face for her brother and said, “I look forward to meeting her family. Her aunt and uncle are very nice. From her first words, Mrs Gardiner put me at ease.”

“She is a very gracious lady. I have gotten permission from her aunt and uncle, to allow Elizabeth to visit again tomorrow, and stay for dinner. The Gardiners have another engagement in Lambton, so we will have her to ourselves. My biggest concern is protecting her from Bingley’s sisters.”

The thought of entertaining Miss Elizabeth soon brought a mischievous twinkle to her eyes. “Perhaps, I will entertain her alone, in the new room you had refurbished for me. As I am quaking with shyness, and worrying about what to say, I will remember your proposal. Hopefully, the awareness that she forgave you will allow me to feel certain she could not possibly judge me harshly.”

Darcy laughed at his newly transformed sister. “Your idea is simply marvellous. I know the two of you will become the best of friends.”

There was another knock on the door, and Georgiana and Will exchanged slightly apprehensive glances at the possibility it could be Miss Bingley. It was Mr Bingley, and as he walked into the room the siblings’ faces broke into smiles of relief. Georgiana excused herself and assured her brother she would arrange everything for tomorrow.

Bingley did not speak immediately. Taking the seat Georgiana had abandoned, he turned his head to the window and seemed to be planning his words. Mr Darcy used the minutes to think about their friendship. He had embraced an acquaintance with Charles, a young man of few connections worth noting, without hesitation. His friendly and open manner was in contradiction to Darcy’s normal reticence. Their compatibility was something he had never been able to totally fathom. Perhaps it was the guileless quality in Bingley’s demeanour.

They met at a ball a year after his father had died. Charles, who had been orphaned at sixteen, seemed to have weathered the death of his parents effortlessly. Darcy, still struggling with despair, had been intrigued to know the circumstances. The young man with a perpetual smile had confessed he had not had much contact with his parents. He and his sisters had been sent away to school when quite young, and he had found it difficult to miss that which had never been his.

Darcy was drawn to this young man’s resilience and comfort in most social situations. From that day, Darcy had allowed him to be part of his inner circle. Over the years, only Richard was allowed to know more of his intimate feelings. Charles’ personality had much in common with Darcy’s cousin and both were very different from him, but somehow with both, their strengths and weaknesses as individuals complemented each other.

Not long after their meeting, they made a bargain. Darcy had begun accompanying Bingley to many events of the Season, with the hope that his discomfort would lessen. In exchange, he agreed to help his friend locate an estate. Bingley’s father had made a fortune in trade, and had wanted his family to gain the status awarded those of the landed gentry. Charles was determined to carry out his father’s wish, and Darcy was hopeful his genial friend would help him find someone appropriate to love.

There were other areas of Bingley’s education in which Darcy had assisted. Without a father to take him, he had never spent any time in one of the pleasure houses that London offered. Darcy took him to Mrs Teasewell’s, as his father had taken him. Afterwards he had waxed eloquent to Charles, as had Mr Darcy senior to him, on the need to know how to please one’s wife.

“Darce, what is happening tomorrow?”

“Miss Elizabeth is coming without her aunt and uncle to spend time with Georgiana, and she will stay for dinner. I need your help with something.”

“What do you need?”

“Protection from your sisters’ harsh words. They suspect there is an attachment between us. Caroline, in particular, feels the need to say unfavourable things about her in my presence. She believes she will be able to dissuade me from my deluded appreciation of her charms. I am afraid I was quite abrupt, and perhaps even cruel, to her earlier.”

Darcy noticed Bingley’s face had an uncharacteristic sardonic smile as he spoke, “I have tried to convince her you are indifferent to her, but she is not as easily persuaded as I was by you.”

Darcy winced and said, “Touché.”

Bingley grinned at his ability to win this apology from his well-bred friend. “It is time I confronted her with my knowledge of Miss Bennet being in town, and my suspicions of her motives for denying me the intelligence. While I am chastising her for that behaviour I will attempt, once again, to manage her expectations concerning you.”

“Thank you, Charles. Your sister is a beautiful young woman, but she does herself no favours by throwing herself at me, or any other gentleman for that matter, without having true feelings. Just as you are attempting to improve your family’s status by acquiring an estate, she obviously feels the need to marry upward… to throw off the stench of trade and acquire status. For her sake, man, attempt to persuade her that an excellent loving companion will fulfil her more than an excellent connection. It is too late for Louisa, but it is not too late for Caroline.”

“Perhaps if I phrase my entreaty as you have, she will see the light.”

“Yes, hopefully, she will see the light of the power of love much as I did, and have her own conversion on the road to Damascus.”

Charles looked confused. “Damascus?”

“Friend, I fear you must have slept through your religion classes at school!”

Charles laughed. “Yes, indeed, I did. They were always so painfully early in the morning.”

“Caroline, come walk out with me. I have some plans I must discuss with you.”

Miss Bingley searched her brother’s face to attempt a determination of his mood before she replied. “Certainly, Charles it is a beautiful day and the grounds at Pemberley are very lovely.”

The brother and sister walked across the bridge that spanned the stream. Charles had secured some pieces of bread to feed to the pairs of swans in the lake. He gave some to his sister, and encouraged her to join him in feeding the elegant fowl.

Charles tore up the chunks of stale bread and threw the pieces into the lake. Several of the pairs of swans swam in the direction of the bits. “Did you know that swans mate for life? They are very like humans in that regard. However, they seem much happier than most humans are in their marriages. The eternal love and loyalty they display is something to which I aspire.” He threw another piece of bread and watched for a few seconds before he continued speaking. “To swim in harmony together for the duration of their lives is to me an enviable state. Did you know Darcy’s parents shared that depth of devotion?” He waited for her to shake her head, no. “Our parents seemed to have had little affinity. In fact, I do not believe they cared much for each other. Mother wanted Father’s wealth, but she resented that it required her to become connected with trade. Father spent all his time working, trying to amass more money, and mother always seemed to be trying to find ways to obscure the source of our wealth.”

“Charles, why are you bringing up such unpleasant memories? We are far beyond our father’s unfortunate heritage. Mama saw to it that we acquired the finest education afforded people of quality. We will fulfil Papa and Mama’s aspirations to become true and proper members of the gentry. Despite Netherfield not being to our liking, I am sure you will find a proper estate to buy.”

Charles was not finished speaking of their parents. “Do you remember Mama telling us of our grandfather? He was the parson at the parish of Watley, near Scarborough. He was the third son of a Viscount. To her, the most important thing about him was his excellent pedigree. One of my most persistent memories of our dear mother was her incessant commenting on her aristocratic nose.” In an imitation of their maternal parent, he turned his head and pointed to his nose. “She would hold her head up and turn it about for us to observe, and proclaim her nose was the legacy of her father, the son of the Viscount Castorbridge. Her next words were always how pleased she was you and I had inherited that trait instead of Papa’s coarse nose, that spoke of mills and iron works. Poor Louisa, she was never included in the compliment.”

“But brother, you and I are much more refined in our appearance than Louisa. We look more like Mama, and she looks like Papa. I hope someday Mr Darcy will realize how very refined in appearance and accomplishments I am, and choose me as the person to permanently adorn his arm.”

“Caroline, that will never happen! He does not want an ornament. He wants a marriage like his parents—a love match. Surely you know by now, he is smitten with Miss Elizabeth. He told you earlier she is the most handsome woman of his acquaintance, but I think it important you realize it is much more than her appearance that has drawn him to her. She has given him the belief that it is not his wealth, his connections, or his status that appeals to her. Her fine eyes, as he calls them, assure him she sees him, and not his possessions or position. I saw something similar when I looked into her sister’s eyes.”

“But Mr Darcy felt Miss Bennet was indifferent toward you. He convinced you to leave Netherfield.”

“He did. I allowed myself to be persuaded when my instincts told me she did care.” He threw the rest of the bread to the pairs of swans and hardened his voice. “Recently he confessed to me she was in town, and had called on you to further our acquaintance. Upon learning of her visit, I knew I had been correct in my conviction of her sentiments. Your behaviour has made me doubt your sisterly affections. Yesterday, when he told me of your actions, I called them treacherous. Today, I call them delusional. Miss Bennet’s connections, that you proclaim inadequate for our exalted status, are to me quite impeccable. Her father’s family have been estate owners for numerous generations. She, unlike you, is a gentleman’s daughter.”

Caroline put on a haughty expression, puffed out her chest and proclaimed, “Brother, what is the meaning of your words to me? I am beginning to believe I am the object of cruel intentions on your part.”

“No, my intentions are to make you aware of the jeopardy in which you have placed our relationship. You believed an attachment to Miss Bennet on my part would not be advantageous to your mission to secure a husband from the finest society. You cared nothing for my happiness, and thought only of your own needs.” Charles softened his voice and sought her eyes for emphasis. “I have written to have Netherfield opened. Darcy and I go there, together with Georgiana and Mrs Annesley, as soon as Miss Elizabeth leaves Derbyshire. It is my intention to pursue Miss Bennet. You are not invited, as I am unable to trust you. When we leave, you will be required to cut short your visit. I recommend you return to London and contemplate my admonishments.”

“But brother, I was acting in your best interest!”

“Caroline, end the false words! You are a beautiful young woman, with a significant dowry. Look into the eyes of the young men you meet, not to calculate their wealth and status, but to determine the contents of their character.” He took her hands and squeezed them in emphasis. “Aspire to a marriage of love and loyalty for a lifetime, like these swans. Darcy and I have those hopes, and we go to Hertfordshire to pursue them.” Bingley dropped her hands, abruptly turned and walked away. He did not look back.

Had he looked back, he would have seen fear in his sister’s eyes.

Darcy had asked permission to drive Miss Elizabeth to Pemberley, in his curricle, but promised he and Georgiana would escort her home in one of his carriages.

Mr and Mrs Gardiner had discussed their niece and Mr Darcy. They both believed a proposal would soon be offered and agreed to his request. There was something Mrs Gardiner saw in their eyes, when she would observe their clandestine peeks at one another. These looks reminded her of the exchanged glances between Mr Gardiner and her when they were courting. Both of the Gardiners believed Mr Darcy to be an honourable man. They trusted him to ensure the safety and reputation of their niece while driving with him in an open conveyance on well travelled roads. To them, his request did not breach propriety.

Elizabeth was waiting in the common room of the Rose and Crown when he arrived. Her aunt and uncle had left hours ago to visit one of Mrs Gardiner’s school chums, the wife of the owner of Lambton’s bookshop. Elizabeth had gone with them to the meet the lady and her husband, and to visit the shop. She had thought of a present for Georgiana, a book she had recently read. The novel Sense and Sensibility, by a lady, would be just the thing for her. Georgiana needed reassurance she was not alone in being enamoured of a man with a less than sterling character. It would provide an opportunity to tell her future sister of how easily she had fallen for the charm of the handsome Mr Wickham—not to mention believing his lies about her brother.

Elizabeth had transferred a twist of hair from his curl and placed it in her locket. Her gown was a shade of light green muslin, with a revealing neckline edged in pink. As promised the locket hung tantalizingly between her breasts. She had worn a bonnet while in Lambton for the day but planned to leave it behind for her visit to Pemberley. The chambermaid, Lucy, had redone her hair for a more evening look. It was loosely swept up with several curls left to trail down her neck. Tiny pink silk rosebuds adorned the upswept curls. Summery was the word she assigned to the look she and Lucy had created.

She was watching by the window and saw a tall man driving a curricle from a distance. It must be her betrothed. She shivered with excitement, wishing she could run to him but remaining in place in deference to propriety.

He entered the common room, and she saw his breath catch as she walked toward him. She prayed he would react in a way that would keep her from mortifying them both.

She put her arm through his, and the two walked ever so formally to the curricle. Once there, the formality ended. He put his hands round her waist and picked her up effortlessly. Once he had her settled, he whispered, “You look good enough to eat, Miss Elizabeth.”

She giggled, blushed, and met his comment with her own whispered rejoinder. “You look as always Mr Darcy, but I now know, there are hidden delights beneath your sombre clothes.”

There was a visible separation between their upper torsos, but their hips and thighs were pressed firmly against each other. “I probably should make some changes in my wardrobe. Bingley has a beautiful bottle-green coat, and a striped waistcoat—cream and the same shade as your gown. I am determined to have a similar ensemble made when next I am in London. My clothes have always matched my mood, but now I think I want to project the joy I feel by donning more colourful clothes. What think you, should I become known as a peacock?”

“No, but I think I would like you to be a bit more daring. Showy plumage would help young ladies to notice how handsome you are—it is what God determined was good for male birds. I want to be the envy of all the females of the ton.” She rested her hand on his thigh as she grinned up at him. “However, here at Pemberley, I care not what you wear. The most important thing is you wear clothes that are easy to remove.”

“You are truly a wanton wench. Look what you have done to me.”

She looked into his lap and saw the bulge. After staring at the spot for a few seconds, she turned her head away and without saying anything in return busied herself staring at the countryside as it passed. He saw a tear trickle down her cheek, and was both surprised and touched by her reaction. He stopped the curricle and lifted her face. “Lizzy, why are you crying?”

“Because we must abstain for an entire month, or maybe even longer if Papa does not agree to a speedy wedding. Once again, I am overwhelmed at my folly for not accepting, and the price we both must pay for my obstinacy and prejudice.”

Darcy looked around. Seeing no one else on the road, he moulded her to his body and enfolded her in his arms. His first kisses were to dry her tears. However, soon he found her lips, and his assault seemed filled with a craving that matched her own. Her body unleashed every ounce of longing she had stored over the last two days. Their tongues battled as his hands cupped her bottom and lifted her onto his lap. Feeling what had caused her to cry only moments before, pushing and poking, she rubbed against him. The special spot between her legs was throbbing with desire. Her ability to exhibit proper behaviour was clouded by her passion. A vague awareness of being on a public road tried to intrude, but she skilfully shoved those thoughts aside, as her hands found their way under his waistcoat until they were just a linen shirt away from the flesh she was craving to touch.

Darcy moaned with pleasure, but somehow the awareness of where they were managed to break into his consciousness. Abruptly, he pulled away. He was in Derbyshire and lust had almost overwhelmed him on the road to Pemberley. Horrified with his lack of control, he pulled back from her. They were in an open curricle that laid their activity, open to the eyes of any neighbours, staff or tenants who might be passing. As easily as he had deposited her on his lap, he now removed her as though she was something repugnant. Her beautiful eyes, still filled with passion, seemed unable to focus as they looked at him with bewilderment.

His breathing was ragged and his arousal missed the warmth of her body nestled above it. It was so very difficult to control his passion for her. As he struggled, he heard himself say, “Lizzy, we must stop, but I have a plan.”