Kerri awoke to the smells of frying food and strong coffee. The crackles and snaps of burning wood were the only sounds she could hear. She didn’t move; she didn’t feel strong enough to face the day. She sensed Vin was close by. She kept her eyes closed, not wanting him to know that she was awake yet.
She felt the earth jump beneath her and guessed he’d sat down with a thump beside her.
“Everything’s prepared,” Vin said quietly.
She turned on her back, then rose to sit beside him. Moving in close, she snuggled herself under his arm, feeling the softness of his fur surround her.
She could smell his earthy musk that was unique to be him, “There’s something I need to do first,” she said.
After washing herself and brushing her hair, she wandered over the hills, collecting the wildflowers she’d seen. The blue cornflowers, red poppies, and white wild daisies contrasted with the black fog that surrounded her. Seeing Vin standing with his head bowed, she moved to join him on the rise of the hill. She tried to prepare herself but seeing the two mounds of freshly turned earth was still a shock.
She knelt at the head of both graves, then placed some of her flowers on the one enormous mound.
She looked at the other mound of earth but felt confused.
Why is this one so small? He’s the strongest boy I know. There doesn’t seem to be enough room for him.
She put the rest of her flowers on the tiny mound, touching her hand to the soft, warm earth.
She felt Vin kneel behind her and place his enormous paw on her shoulder.
“It’s okay, Vin,” she said without looking at him. “I promised you—I’m not gonna cry.”
He stood up, the grief tearing his own heart to pieces. Seeing his best friends lying together was too much for him.
“And I’m not ever gonna forget,” she said.
Stepping away, she saw tears running down his face.
He sat on his blanket beside the smoldering fire, an untouched plate of cold pie beside him. Kerri eventually made her way down the hill. Approaching him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his forehead.
“One of us has gotta be strong, Vin,” she said. He nodded silently.
Sitting beside him, she filled a wooden cup from a pot of warm tea that sat on the edge of the fire. Handing it to him, she filled another, quietly drinking, lost in her own thoughts.
She looked up at him. “It was my fault, Vin,” she said. “We could have gone around. We could have waited till dark. They would never have known we’d passed. We were in too much of a hurry.”
He coughed to clear his voice. Trying to speak after so long without saying a word felt difficult.
“You can’t blame yourself, not for this. It’ll be too destructive for you. Naz knew what he was doing. He wouldn’t have taken you in there if he didn’t think you could get out. I knew him. He cared about things, about his mission, about you and Carter, and about that crystal. He wanted it back to save our people. It was never your decision.”
“I didn’t speak up. I thought we’d outrun them, but when Sonny appeared, it was like the boys started seeing red. They wanted him badly, and I underestimated them. I’ll never make that mistake again.”
“It was not your mistake. You could never have known it would be like it was.”
“How old was Naz?”
“You know… I never asked,” Vin said. “It seemed like he was just always there and always a Guard.” He took a sip of his tea. “It was my idea to come looking for you. Naz wanted to go tell the Boss what had happened, but he ordered me to go instead. I shouldn’t have listened to him. I should never have left him alone.”
“That must’ve been a tough call to make,” she said.
He made a loud puff, and his shoulders sagged. “How old was Carter?” Vin asked.
“He liked to tell everyone he was only four,” she smiled. He was born on that funny day that only comes around every four years.”
“He was only sixteen? I thought he was much older.”
“It was running around the Lost Lands did that. Passing through those gateways made him grow up before his time. When Duma kidnapped him, he was a young boy. All he ever wanted to do was swim.”
“I remember,” said Vin. “At home, there’s a pool fed by warm waters from underground. We couldn’t get him out of there. He was the best swimmer we’d ever seen. And he taught us so much. Naz loved having him around. He made Carter an honorary Guard.”
“He would have loved that,” she said. “I remember the first time I saw Naz, he frightened the life out of me. He came charging at us with his big claws, and those angry eyes of his, and his fangs all showing, with a really mean look on his face.”
Vin smiled. “Yeah, he used to practice that look a lot. He used to call it his mean and angry face, but he couldn’t hold it for long. He’d always end up giggling.”
They sat in each other’s warmth for some time, lost in their memories.
“You know, you really should shift, Kerri. It’s not good for you being on this side of a gateway as a person.”
“I know, but I don’t want to leave just yet. I don’t want to leave them alone.”
“They have each other, and you have me.”
“I’m glad you’re here.” She moved closer against him.
“The gateway we came through should still be open when we get there,” he said.
She turned to look at him. “I’m not going back, Vin.”
“You have to get back to your clan.”
“No, there’s something I need to do first.”
“I’m not sure being in this land is a good idea. What have you got to do?”
“Find Sonny, of course.”
Vin took a deep breath, giving himself a moment to find the right words.
“Don’t give in to hate, Kerri. It’ll eat you up inside and leave you with nothing.”
“It’s okay. I know what I’m doing. I’ve decided. I’ve already lost everything. I’ve lost the boy I was going to spend my life with. I’ve nothing left to lose.”
“You’ve got your clan. You’ve got Casey. That man-mountain will kill me if anything happens to you.”
She thought for a moment. “You know, in another life, you two could have been brothers,” she said. “You look alike; you think alike. Are you sure you’re not related?”
He saw why Casey was so protective of this little girl, this young lady, who had experienced far too much.
“No, I’ve made up my mind. I’m gonna follow Sonny,” she said. “He can’t be allowed to carry on creating the messes he makes, destroying people’s lives like he does. You can come along with me if you like. You may even find your crystal.”
For the first time in days, he smiled. “You didn’t think I was gonna leave you, did you?”
She lay on the blanket, closing off her outside thoughts. Concentrating, looking inside herself, she could feel the inner wolf impatiently waiting to emerge. She could see her heart grow larger, pounding against her chest with each powerful beat. It’s all in your heart, she told herself. She looked down, seeing her fingers turn into claws, pads forming around her palms. She felt fur emerge from beneath her skin; her teeth formed long, sharp canines. Shaking herself, she stood on all fours next to Vin. She could feel the surge of power flowing through her veins. I am strong, and I am ‘vengeance,' she told herself.
‘You look so much bigger than the last time I saw you,” he said.
“I’m still growing.”
“You want to run?” Vin asked.
She looked up at him. “I was born to run.”