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“A blind date?” Jake asked Sue Mae, his aunt, incredulously. “You want to set me up on a blind date?”
Was his aunt serious? She could not be serious.
Jake had just stopped feeding Sammy, one of the horses on the ranch. But that wasn’t the only thing that stopped. So did his breath.
This was one cowboy that didn’t do blind dates. Ever.
“Yes, Jake. And what’s wrong with that?” His dear auntie was ever so persistent. “You know time is running out now, Jake. You need to be married before ownership of the family ranch transfers to your name as well. It’s your father’s last wish. He just wants you all to be happy again. He knows love is worth it. Love makes life worth living. He didn’t want to leave you all behind knowing or thinking you’d be lonely and not give love a second chance.”
“I know. Dad was something, wasn’t he?”
“He sure was. And you know what else he was?”
“What’s that?”
“He was often right.” A sly grin curved the older woman’s lips. “Look at how happy your stubborn brothers are now. They never thought it would work out for them but they were sure glad they gave love a second chance.”
“I know but...”
“But nothing, Jake. I’ve already set up the date.”
“You did what?”
“It’s only a date.”
“It’s only a mistake.”
“Oh, come now. Your father knew you’d all need a little push or encouragement. Well, I’m here to do that. And your brothers were all happy I did a little nudging for them.”
Jake could not believe his four brothers were now all hitched. He could not deny how happy they were now with their new wives. Their partners for life. And it was now his turn. But he didn’t know if it was ever going to happen.
The thoughts running through his mind right now on this crisp spring day in Sweet Rivers, Texas as she sun shone above them on the ranch were three words:
The will.
The ranch.
The agreement.
His eccentric adoptive father, the legendary cowboy Chet Carsen made the unusual request in his will that all his adopted sons were to get married before the year was out in order for ownership of the Carsen’s Sweet Rivers Family Ranch and Retreat to be transferred over to their names. That was the deal. There were no two ways about it.
At first, he and his brothers wanted to contest the will, but that was out of the question.
Jake and his many brothers were all adopted and grew up on the ranch. Chet Carsen was a decorated war vet who sustained injuries during the war which made it hard to have kids of his own.
So instead of feeling bitter, he and his wife adopted many kids and teens from the foster care system and gave them all a good life over the years on the ranch.
The Carsens raised the kids in the church and taught them to appreciate the blessings in life.
The Carsens saved the boys’ lives and gave them hope and a fresh start after coming from broken homes and for that they would always be thankful.
When they’d grown up, many of his brothers and he moved out and found their own paths in life.
Chet had encouraged them to find their own way in life, though he’d hoped they would have enjoyed the ranch life as he’d done. Still, he’d always supported them in whatever paths they chose.
But then when Chet got too old to care for the ranch, six of them came back and helped out, not looking back. Of course, they’d each suffered a bit of heartbreak on their own prior to that, so it was a nice change to be coming back home.
Because of what they’d been through, they’d each vowed to never marry or marry again. The Carsen brothers supported each other and lived on the land, sharing their home to guests and carrying on Chet Carsen’s amazing legacy of giving back.
“Sue Mae, I don’t know about that. I might be the one to stop the wedding streak here.”
“Oh, don’t say that, Jake. I know you’ve been through a lot with...well, I know your heart still aches for your wife and daughter.”
His stomach tightened into knots thinking about his beloved wife and daughter. He could not breathe.
His wife.
His daughter.
He’d been working late at the office almost every night for an oil corporation. His business activities consumed most of his life. He was only trying to provide for his family the best way he could.
His wife had told him she’d always wanted to live in a big house, so he gave it to her. He made it happen. Even if it meant he had to work seven days a week for it. Nothing was too good for her. And his precious little angel, Amy. His little girl. She was only three at the time when the incident happened.
They’d gone on a nice family vacation in the Cayman Islands and stayed at a fancy five-star hotel. But then his boss called him and asked him to meet with a potential hot new client. It was a pity he didn’t turn off his cell phone before that call.
Jake had only planned to spend a few hours in a meeting with the new client and then spend the rest of his time with his family on the island. But after that business meeting, when he went back to the suite, he couldn’t find his wife or daughter anywhere. Panic rose up in his chest.
Then...
He found them in the pool. Dead.
The memory crushed his soul. He didn’t think he’d ever recover from that. He didn’t want to. He blamed himself. If he was with them the whole time this would never have happened.
He didn’t deserve to have a family again.
The Lord gave him a wonderful family and look what happened? He was too busy making a business deal when he should have been with them.
Anger tore away at him every single day. His boss had told him it wasn’t his fault, but that didn’t help. He should have never left their side during the trip.
His wife wasn’t much of a swimmer and unfortunately she didn’t have her lifejacket on at the time. Bree and Amy apparently went outside to sit by the private pool attached to their suite and Amy must have slipped in and Bree went after her.
Why wasn’t he there?
He should have been there?
He should have never left them for a split second.
It was supposed to be a family vacation. But his boss insisted on turning it into a business trip when a potential client was vacationing there with his own family too.
Was it worth it?
No.
Never.
He’d never again put business ahead of family time again. Because he was never going to have a family again.
He was deeply happy for his brothers Luke, Beau, Jess, and Chase. They’d found the loves of their lives through their marriages of convenience.
But Jake didn’t think he’d be so lucky. He wanted to punish himself for not being there for Bree and Amy. He never wanted to marry again. Ever. At least not for love. At least not in a permanent arrangement.
“Jake, please don’t blame yourself,” Sue Mae said, soothingly.
Sue Mae was always the strong support for the family. She insisted everyone call her Sue Mae, not Aunt Sue Mae, since she was his adoptive father’s loving sister. A feisty determined woman who made it her mission to help heal broken hearts and play matchmaker for those looking for love at the Sweet Rivers Church. She was a quiet matchmaker who knew everyone in town—and everyone’s business. So she knew who was single and searching. She had a hand in getting his brothers hitched.
It was a good thing then for his dear late adoptive father that he left his sister in charge to ensure his last wishes were fulfilled.
“How can I not, Sue Mae? I should have been there with them.”
“But you told Bree not to go near the pool until you were there.”
His heart squeezed in his chest. “No excuse. I should have been there.”
He stroked the mane of his horse, his eyes watery with emotion.
He regretted every moment, every day and every month they were not with him. They died two years ago today. Grief never left him. He carried their pictures with him everywhere he went. He never wanted to forget. He never wanted to let go. He never wanted to move on.
Chet knew that and spoke to him about it before he passed. He’d told him that God would give him beauty for his ashes, for his sorrows, but Jake had to learn to move forward and let go. He could never let go of the memory of his beautiful family, but could he let go of the feeling of guilt and torment?
Did he want to move on after losing his family? Could he ever get married again? Even in name only?