Viv tuned out of the shop talk between Rex and Sutton. He expounded on the dos and don'ts of internet surveillance for the entire meal, with Sutton interjecting her opinions. Finally the conversation got back to Carmine.
"Still no address. I think he had a professional wipe his info." Sutton shrugged. "Of course, I can do a deeper dive into other resources that aren't quite legal. Call in a few favors. But that will take some time."
"You mentioned to me that Carmine may be into illegal side hustles," Rex said. "Is that a gut feeling or did you find anything we can use?"
"It is a gut feeling," Sutton admitted. "I'll have to be careful. If there is a trail, it may be in the wrong direction. I don't want to slide down any rabbit holes. Big waste of time."
As Rex and Sutton reminisced about electronic rabbit holes when they were in Afghanistan, Viv planted a small smile on her face, pretending to care. Everything she knew about internet surveillance could be summed up with her one smart phone. She didn't have a big interest in algorithms or deep dives into people's backgrounds.
Finally the check came. "I'm ready to call it a night," Viv said.
"And I've got to get ready for our show," Sutton said to Rex. "See you later."
Sutton stood up from the table. Eyes followed the tall beauty as she exited The Roadkill, until she disappeared from view.
Viv also stood. She kissed Rex chastely on the cheek. "See you tomorrow," she said.
Once in the parking lot Viv climbed behind the steering wheel, exhaling her relief. What with Carmine Nelson's death and seeing Rex every day, she knew her inattentiveness at dinner was a sign. She no longer had the energy to listen with a smile on her face to people's chitchat. She needed some alone time.
Driving on the highway helped soothe her mind. An elbow out the open window, Viv wondered if she could distract herself before settling in for the night. I'll do a bit of shopping, she decided. Everything in town is open for at least another hour.
She pulled her car into a parking space right outside of Out of the Closet Consignment. Surely Jason has something new to show me.
They'd gotten to know each other right away when she'd moved to Palm Desert. Viv loved shopping secondhand. She'd pick up bargains at upscale boutiques after dropping off items she no longer wore. One in, one out had been her motto for years.
Once Jason realized she'd be a regular customer and that she took excellent care of her clothing, he'd put things aside for her next visit.
The car locked, Viv caught sight of Jason right away. He stood in the center of the shop's window, busily arranging the display. Lifting a frothy white peasant-style dress over his head, he dropped it over the form. It fell in folds, drifting with diaphanous delicacy, making Viv sigh. She loved the dress at first sight.
Maybe I'm too old to still care about clothing. This wasn't the first time she wondered if she was too old to appreciate certain things. If she was too old to pull off a piece of clothing or a certain style. The closer she came to sixty, the more frequently her doubts happened.
Not just about what she wore, but how she took care of herself. Did her aging skin deserve expensive creams, or should she just buy the drugstore variety? And that wasn't the worst part. She even wondered if she was past experiencing intimacy with a man.
Did a sixty-year-old body still want to tumble in the sheets with another human being? No matter how attractive he was. What was the point really. It wasn’t as if she wanted a baby. And the pleasure, well it had shifted over the years. Even she had to admit that.
Since her divorce, avoiding sex hadn't been that hard. No one was really paying attention to her that way. Until Rex. And he was just her neighbor. Viv checked herself. Ask Jason about the dress. That's more manageable than worrying about sex.
Stepping into the shop, she was greeted by Jason's welcoming voice. "Hey, friend, give me a minute. I want to finish with this window dressing."
Jason adjusted a straw hat on the female form. He tilted it to one side, then the other, and finally over her nonexistent eyes.
"Am I keeping you from closing?" she asked.
"Absolutely not! I'd stay open all night for you, sweetie. Plus I've put away a few things in the back with you in mind.” Jason hopped to the floor. Coming closer, he blew one air kiss, then another, for each cheek. "Wait until you see the jacket I found. Katie Holmes wore the same thing in New York just last week. It's to die for!"
Jason disappeared into the back room, giving Viv the chance to glance through the racks of gently used clothing. He returned carrying a blazer on one hanger and a linen button-up shirt in blush pink on another. He held the shirt in front of his body. "This is so chic if you just tie the waist. Then the blazer. To die for. That's what Katie did and the look has gone viral.
"Plus the button-up in this color would be stunning on you. Not just under the blazer but with white skinnies of course, the more distressed the better. You still have those, right? The ones you bought last year." He twirled around with the blazer, his smile making Viv laugh.
"I'll try both." She looked longingly at the window. But she decided against the dress once again. Instead she pointed across the room. "And I'd like to see that skirt suit over there. I guess they're back and I may need a more formal outfit for daytime."
"Sure, honey. Let me set that aside for you." Jason snagged the hanger off the rack and then walked to the wall where the dressing rooms were located. He hung the suit on the outside of the door, and then placed the two other items inside. "Whenever you're ready," he told her.
She tried the shirt first, calling out over the closed dressing room door, "I love the color. This is a keeper."
"And I'll give you your usual discount," he immediately replied. "Plus you have a bit of credit from the items you dropped off a month ago."
Viv knew Jason offered a discount to all of his returning customers. She didn't mind not being the only one, because the shop made her feel good. Buying secondhand made her feel a bit virtuous. And now she rarely bought anything new, especially at department stores. Walking into a Nordstrom often made her anxious. It didn't take a genius to realize that all of the young salespeople seemed to think she wanted to look just like them.
Jason never made her feel that way.
By the time Viv stood at the register, she'd chosen the shirt and the blazer, plus the suit. When Jason didn't bring the dress to the dressing room for her to try, she assumed he thought it too young for her. He'd never say, of course. That was his charm. He made Viv feel good about being Viv.
"You must have a lot of regular customers," she said as he folded her shirt. Then a thought came from out of the blue. "Did you hear about the dead guy they found at the Desert Tortoise Estates? I was there when the cops arrived."
When Jason looked up with wide eyes, she continued. "I saw him. Dead. He lay between the sheets as if asleep, except for that bullet hole in his forehead."
Viv knew that Jason liked to keep up on all of the Palm Desert news. "Do they know his name?" He folded one sleeve over the body of the shirt.
"Carmine Nelson," Viv said.
To her surprise, Jason stopped folding. When he looked up she could see tears forming in his eyes. "As a matter of fact, I knew Carmine. He used to come in here with his wife, Beverly, nearly every month.
"We'd chat while she tried on clothes. She liked the mid-century short sets they used to wear, you know, the matching kind with Bermudas. I'd always keep a pair in the back for her; picked them up at estate sales when someone passed." He kept talking, rambling as he struggled with his emotions.
Then he brushed at his eyes with a rueful smile. "Beverly will be devastated. They were such a lovely couple. Got along so well, even after all those years of being together. Carmine would comment on her outfits; he loved her legs and he'd whistle when she'd come out of the dressing room."
Jason's genuine grief touched Viv deeply. After discovering the dead body, she felt mostly shock. But now Carmine wasn't just a lifeless form. He'd become real, with Jason's tears.
Plus Jason's description of the older couple, who'd been married a long while, nearly made Viv cry. Probably because she'd believed she'd be married that long. Before Laurence left her, she thought they'd make it for the long haul. Till death do us part.
She'd hoped her husband would grow old with her and appreciate her like Carmine did with Beverly. But after the divorce Viv needed to put away all of those hopes because it hurt too much. She finally concluded that a long marriage wasn't in the cards for her and that she just needed to move on. She pushed away the hopes and the feelings because remembering hurt too much.
"It's good to know some people have those kinds of marriages," she told Jason.
"Reminds me of my parents," he admitted, sliding her items into a decorative bag, the tissue crinkling as he drew up the string handles. "I hope to see you soon,” he said softly, handing her the bag.
Viv hesitated. "Is there any chance I could get the Nelsons' address from you? I would like to send a condolence card, but I don't want to disturb the widow."
"Oh sure. Just give me a sec." Jason turned to his computer. He slid a notepad closer and then scribbled with a pencil. Handing it to Viv, he said, "I wrote down their phone number too, in case you want to call and chat with her. She must be very lonely now without Carmine. Just tell Bev that I gave you the number."
On the drive home Viv rolled up the windows. An inky darkness clung to both sides of the roadway. Viv felt an achy loneliness, remembering Jason's tears. She reached for the screen to select some music, hoping to push away her desolation.
Then she smiled, realizing she'd gotten one up on Rex and Sutton. It didn't take any fancy computer or internet work to get Carmine's address. Take that, you two!