The Damp Squib has turned into a Lame Horse Dance Master. Rumor has it that Lady Man-Eater can’t dance a lick and repeatedly steps on Lord William’s toes.
Is anyone certain she’s of noble blood?
Humbly reporting from Mayfair,
The Midnight Cryer
The next morning, Thea had received a summons from Stella which meant another deportment lesson. Nancy had helped her dress in a simple but elegant yellow morning gown made of satin that tied in the back. The gown gave her confidence which she sorely needed today. After her etiquette lessons, she was scheduled for her dance lesson with an instructor who came highly recommended.
Within minutes, Thea entered the blue salon where she found Stella and Lady Edith chatting away.
“Come in, Thea. We’ve been waiting for you.” Stella absently stroked Lord Fluff who was curled beside her.
Lady Edith rested in the sofa directly opposite Stella and patted the seat next to her. “Sit by me.”
Once Thea settled, her hostess poured the tea and served the most exquisite biscuits, seedcakes, and fairy cakes with butter frosting. Thea took a bite of a delicate fairy cake, and it melted in her mouth.
“Theodora, how is your preparation coming for the hearing?” Stella asked.
Thea shrugged, then smoothed her hands down her dress. “I have the family history memorized, along with all the papers of marital and birth records I could find. But I’d feel much more confident of my chances if I had the charter in my possession. It would prove my right to the title without a doubt.”
“It’ll be nice to have all this ugly nonsense settled.” Edith patted her hand.
Stella scooted to the edge of her seat. “Have you given any more thought to marrying?” she asked softly.
“I don’t want to be forced to marry,” she answered. “Honestly, Stella, I shouldn’t have to, and Will shouldn’t have to be the sacrificial goat.”
Edith wrinkled her brow. “I wouldn’t call it a sacrifice, nor would I call him a goat.”
Stella nodded in agreement. “I don’t think either of you should consider it as such”—she tapped her finger against her lip as if deep in thought—“but perhaps you could think of Will as more than a friend.” She nodded decisively. “Yes, that’s it. A best friend.”
A warmth settled over Thea as her cheeks heated. She’d never had a friend close to her own age before Will. Suddenly, memories of last night took control of her thoughts. Will had been the definition of a staunch and loyal friend who treated her with respect and kindness. When he’d held her in his arms, it’d been heaven.
“He is my best friend,” Thea admitted.
“Excellent, my dear,” Lady Edith said with a knowing smile. “Shall we review precedence again?”
Stella gently set her cup and saucer on the table in front of her, then regarded Thea with a look reminiscent of an army general lecturing the troops. “If you’re standing with a marchioness and another countess preparing to enter the dining room for a formal dinner, who of the three of you enters first?”
Thea took another sip of tea before she answered. These things were always tricky. Such a question appeared simple, but nothing was as it seemed when it came to the rules of the peerage and their love of standing with another. “Since the marchioness stands in place of her husband, meaning she’s higher in rank than an earl or in my case, countess, she goes first.”
This was where everything became a muddle. What to do with two countesses, one a peer in her own right and the other married to a peer of equal rank? It was this minutia of detail that drove her batty. Really, who cared? They would all eat at the same time with the same food at the same table.
With no earthly idea the correct answer, she put forth her best guess. “It would depend upon the ladies’ ages. Whoever was oldest would proceed first.” Whether that principle applied or not, Thea believed it should. No matter what rank, if Stella and Edith waited with her to enter dinner, she’d allow the two elderly ladies to enter first. It was good manners in her opinion.
Stella shook her head. “No, Thea. The order of precedence between the two countesses will be based upon the year the title was created and where. English peerages created before 1707 precede peerages of Scotland created by 1707 like yours.” She nodded decisively like a strict governess. “Those peerages precede the peerages of Great Britain created between 1707 and 1801. Then we have the ones from Ireland and their dates of creation. Are you following, dear?”
Swimming with titles and dates that she’d never master, Thea shook her head.
“It’s all right, darling.” Edith patted her hand. “But you should try to learn all the earldoms and when and where they were created. That will help.”
“You’re right.” Though she wanted to roll her eyes at the monotony of it all, she sat without further comment. How lovely for her—more inane information that she’d never use after she returned home—if she returned home.
She promised herself no negative thoughts today, and she would keep that pledge.
“Let’s go to another topic. Fan lessons.” Stella picked up three fans for each of them.
As Edith and Stella swooped and fluttered their mother of pearl confections, Thea sighed. At their last lesson, they’d tried to teach her how to have a conversation with a man while holding her fan.
She bit back a laugh.
It was the definition of silliness. If she wanted to talk to a man, she’d just walk up to him and start a conversation. She didn’t need to twirl a whimsical piece of lace to talk to someone.
But the expectant looks on the two grand dames’ faces were alight with glee. They cooed and twitted about while pretending they were at some ball flirting with their mysterious beaus. They were charming, and Thea wouldn’t hurt their feelings or their pride by saying it was a waste of her time. But she couldn’t go through another lesson in nonsensical frivolity.
“Perhaps there’s something else you could teach me today? There’s so much I have to learn, and we’ve already covered the fan basics.”
“Excellent idea, Thea.” Stella beamed while still managing a flutter or two of her fan.
“I thought you could teach me about gossip and The Midnight Cryer. I should be prepared if anyone asks about my grandfather.” In no way would she allow anyone to slander her grandfather or for that matter, her.
“The best advice is to deny everything.” Stella defiantly lifted her chin in the air. “That’s what I’ve told William, and the same applies for you.”
Edith waved her hand, and the light from the wall of windows on the south side of the room illuminated the jewels around her wrist, creating little rainbow prisms that danced around the room. “Have you heard about William?”
“I’m afraid not,” Thea said softly.
“When he was a young man, he thought himself in love and ready for marriage. He proposed to a girl, a third cousin named Lady Avalon Cavensham,” Edith said innocently. “She accepted.”
Stella shot a look of censure at her friend.
In response, Edith lifted an eyebrow. “If Theodora is to have half a chance with how to navigate the ton, she needs to know what her best friend William experienced. She needs to know everything.”
Stella nodded her reluctant agreement, then took a sip of tea. “I need a little fortitude to tell his story.” She sighed deeply. “She jilted my William in front of her father. Practically destroyed my boy. Because of his jilting, The Midnight Cryer rubs salt in the wound by calling William a ‘damp squib.’ He’s tried to ignore it, but it hurt him deeply. He’s been wary of the ton ever since. I’d even say he’s skeptical of love.”
“Cynical is a better word for it,” said Edith. “His suspicion practically caused a rift between him and his brother when McCalpin fell in love with a woman who was embezzling from him.”
“With a woman who McCalpin thought was embezzling. Edith, are you going to air every stitch of dirty laundry the family possesses?” Stella challenged.
“It’s not dirty laundry if there’s a happy ending.” Edith turned to Thea. “Once William realized he’d judged March unfairly, he was the first to make amends. Now, he and the marchioness are the greatest of friends and even work together on the Langham duchy’s estate books. He’s really very talented with numbers and such. A great catch in my opinion.” She took a sip of tea. “Of course, his handsome visage and perfect physique don’t hurt the eyes.”
For the first time this afternoon, an affectionate smile graced Stella’s face and reached all the way to her eyes. “Thank you, Edith. He comes from good stock. You couldn’t find a better family to marry into, Theodora.”
Thea raised her hand to get a word in edgewise. “Lord William and I have no interest in marriage. I’ll only marry if I have to.”
She’d not give up the hope she’d fall in love and marry when she wanted to—not when some committee of men dictated she should.
“Thea?” Edith gently asked. “Perhaps, maybe”—she pinched two fingers together—“you’re a smidge interested in our William?”
By now, both elderly women were leaning forward in their seats, enough that it appeared they would fall while waiting for her answer. Even Lord Fluff had forgone his meticulous ablutions to give Thea his undivided attention.
“No, you misunderstand. I told him I didn’t want to marry.” Thea couldn’t sit any longer. She stood and started to pace. “I’m hopeless at all this.”
Stella rose and joined her, then took her hands in hers. “Oh my lovely girl, you are a jewel, a very precious one at that. You just need a little polish, and your brilliance will be blinding. It’s far from hopeless.”
Edith tapped her index finger against her cheek. “Besides, it’s just a matter of time before you catch him.”
“I don’t understand.” Thea had a hard time following the grand dame’s jump in logic.
Stella tugged Thea back to the sofa. “It’s simple, dearest. If you feign disinterest, then Will might become interested in you. Cavensham men always like to think they’re in control.” Stella patted her hand again.
“Such smart thinking on your part, Thea. I wager he’ll soon be smitten,” Edith declared.
“Oh, how clever, Edith,” Stella said. “You’re correct as usual, my dear.”
Edith regally tilted her head acknowledging the praise.
“I don’t want to be rude, but you’re both wrong. He’s not smitten.” Thea leaned back in disbelief at what they were saying. “He doesn’t want to marry me, and I don’t want to marry him.”
“Don’t make any hasty decisions.” Stella squeezed Thea’s hand. “Let me explain something. You can lead a horse to water. The horse being William.”
“Though you can’t make him drink, you can encourage him,” Edith added helpfully.
“By adding treacle to the water,” Stella said.
“Pieces of apple would work as well,” said Edith. “Or both.”
“Could someone explain?” Thea asked softly.
Stella turned to her. “Your new wardrobe is the treacle or apple pieces. You, my dear, are the bucket of water.”
Thea did indeed feel underwater, drowning in confusion.
“He’s seeing you in his native environment. It’s something he’s familiar with. I’m afraid all that Northumberland fresh air rattled his senses,” Stella added. “Just wait until he sees you in the new dresses from the Duchess of Langham’s personal dress designer.”
“Mademoiselle Mignon.” Edith sighed. “Perfection. You’ll be the toast of London.” Her wrinkled brow crinkled even more.
Thea’s heart beat a little faster as if approving of this entire conversation. Could she be falling a little in love with Will? He was incredibly kind, and when he was in the room, she couldn’t seem to take her eyes off him. Never had she felt so interested in another before. When she saw him, everything inside of her seemed to soften into a pool of want for him.
The longcase clock chimed the hour.
“Finish your tea, dearest. It’ll soon be time for your dance lesson,” Stella said.
“Thank you both for everything, including these lessons.” Thea smiled as both ladies beamed at her. “I can’t believe you’ve gone to this much effort on my behalf.”
“It’s no trouble. In fact, it’s our hobby,” Edith said with pride. “It’s like treasure hunting. We’ve even thought of starting a business.”
“Teaching etiquette lessons?” Thea asked.
“No,” Stella answered. “Matchmaking services for peers who have no clue how to find an appropriate spouse. We like to look at estates and fortunes or lack thereof, then we think of couples who would suit. It may seem a little old-fashioned, but this has always been a popular avenue to bring couples together. In certain situations, it’s the best way. Both Edith and I believe that with our superior matchmaking capabilities, love will follow.”
“You’re our first project,” Stella offered. A hint of pride with a healthy dose of affection colored her words.
Thea slowly shook her head. The two ladies in front of her were unruly and everything delightful at the same time.
Without giving a glance in Thea’s direction, the women started a lively discussion of the best colors to highlight Thea’s coloring and what materials and trims would be best for her new wardrobe.
Thea’s thoughts returned to Will. He’d been unceasingly loyal to her ever since he first met her. He understood her views on marriage and would keep her from becoming involved with the wrong men. By what she heard this morning, Will needed friends just as much as she did, along with his confidence bolstered too.
She would be the best friend he’d ever had.
The only challenge?
What if she wanted to be more than best friends?
The Langham Hall library had always been one of Will’s favorite rooms in the house. Airy and bright, it lent itself to many an afternoon and evening of pleasurable reading. Today, it was a room of torture. Will ran a hand down his face in a desperate attempt to clear the running rampage of numbers from Falmont’s account books that danced in front of his eyes.
A ruckus of heated words and hot tempers exploded in the hallway.
With quick steps, Will left the library to investigate. Two doors down, a major battle had erupted outside the smallest of the two Langham Hall ballrooms.
“I don’t care how much you pay me.” The dance master, Mr. Jeremy Pinabell, stood practically nose-to-nose with Aunt Stella. His hands were clenched into fists. “She cannot grasp the steps of the simplest dances. Every dance I try to teach her is a fiasco. My feet are perfectly ruined.”
“My ears are perfectly ruined by the howls that erupted from your mouth,” Aunt Stella scoffed. “I find it inconceivable you are deemed the most sought-after dance master in all of London. You can’t even dance two steps without yelling at her. How in the world is she going to learn?”
Aunt Stella’s scarlet turban sported twin ostrich plumes. With each nod of her head, they bobbled in tandem and poked at Pinabell’s eyes. If Will knew his great-aunt, the grand dame was deliberately taunting him.
The battle wasn’t the only thing that grabbed Will’s attention. Theodora stood several feet away from the feuding duo with her arms wrapped around her waist. He couldn’t see her face, but if she suffered because of that bloody dance instructor, Will would personally rectify the situation by throwing the man out of the house.
As if privy to his thoughts, Aunt Stella announced in a crisp voice, “We don’t need your services anymore.” With a snap of her fingers, Pitts miraculously appeared. “Would you please do the honors, Pitts, and see Mr. Pigabell—”
“Pinabell, madam,” the dance instructor corrected.
“As I was saying, Pigabell needs to be escorted out—the—door.”
With a brisk nod, Pitts extended his arm. “After you, Mr. Pigabell.”
With an outraged huff, Pinabell followed Pitts, leaving Will with Stella and Theodora.
Finally, Will had a clear view of Theodora, and the tension in his body didn’t relax. She blew an errant curl from her face, then regarded him. Immediately, her gaze shifted to her feet. Though dressed as a fairy ready to cast a spell on all around her, she was a woman withdrawing from the world.
Suddenly, Aunt Stella whirled around in his direction. “That man was horrible.”
Thea wrinkled her nose as if smelling something rotten. “I really don’t see the need for dancing lessons.”
“Nonsense, Thea.” Stella shook her head in disapproval, the plumes sailing in the air like a flag on a clipper ship. “A countess must dance at least a waltz. Come, William. I’ll play, and you dance with Theodora.” Without waiting for a reply, his great-aunt returned to the ballroom.
Thea shrugged, then followed Stella.
Will exhaled. He had to think about the future and not about the piles of work that waited for him in the study. Dancing with Thea would instill a sense of poise and self-assuredness she’d need when introduced into society and when she appeared in front of the Committee for Privileges.
Plus, he’d have the honor of holding her in his arms again. Frankly, the idea of Thea possibly finding someone left a hole burning in his gut.
The cause had to be the restless sleep he’d suffered last night. Several times, he woke with swirling thoughts that demanded his immediate attention. He recalled his earlier conversation with his parents encouraging him to tread carefully with Thea and her grand plan to find someone to marry.
When he entered the ballroom, Aunt Stella sat at the pianoforte with Thea by her side. Thea’s iridescent yellow gown, the color of a goldfinch’s feathers, shimmered in the sunlight that shone through the windows surrounding the room. The rays converged at the exact spot where she stood as if vying for her attention.
Bloody hell, he was making himself sick with such silly thoughts. Best to get the dance lesson over with so he could return to work.
“Come, William, don’t dawdle. Thea needs to be ready for Ginny and Sebastian’s soirée. Lord Howton will attend and is in charge of the committee. He’s low-hung fruit. She’ll have him eating out of her hand within a half an hour, I predict.” Aunt Stella placed one hand on the keyboard and waved the other at the empty dance floor. “The morning light won’t last all day.”
Will did as instructed. He extended his arms in a proper waltz form, and gracefully, Thea stepped into his arms and took his hand in hers. When his other hand settled on her waist, she released a heavy sigh.
“Am I that tiring?” he teased. The urge to draw her close grew acute.
“No.” She straightened her shoulders and tilted her gaze to his. The round cut of the gown’s neckline emphasized her neck and shoulders. Barely visible freckles danced across her skin. When his eyes met hers, the smile on her face punched him in the gut. He had to be careful around this woman. How could one look from her have the power to force him to his knees while vowing to dedicate all his days to her? He’d promise his fealty to her forever if she’d continue to smile at him that way—an expression that conjured all sorts of whimsical wishes to make her happy.
“Dancing instruction is a waste of time,” she said.
“Remember?” He lowered his voice. “You promised I could teach you to dance. A friend doesn’t renege on a promise.”
She nodded curtly in response.
The music flooded the room, and he pressed his hand to hers signaling the start of the waltz. With a sure step, he took the lead. She matched his movement with one of innate grace, no doubt acquired from all those days riding her horse.
“Why are dance lessons a waste?” He kept his voice low so Aunt Stella couldn’t hear. From the pianoforte, the grand dame nodded her approval as he made their steps more precise.
“I’ll never dance in Northumberland.”
Suddenly a vision of the folly appeared. Will held her close and swept her in a full waltz pattern as he hummed the music. Her eyes sparkled, and she laughed in pleasure.
“Will?” Thea tilted her head back and regarded him.
His musing evaporated like mist on a summer morning. “Pardon?”
“My dress,” she whispered.
Bloody hell. He was practically disrobing her as his left hand had pulled the sleeve of her gown down, baring one of her perfect shoulders. Her skin appeared to glow with a silken softness. “Excuse me.” The words felt thick in his throat as he straightened the sleeve. “I was holding you too tightly.”
“No.” A blush kissed her cheeks. “I liked it.”
The softness in her mellifluous voice reminded him of honey. He’d always known she was attractive, but when had she become exquisite? He’d never held perfection in his arms before, and the urge to tighten his arms around her grew fierce.
Suddenly, she stumbled slightly.
“I’ve got you.” He gently pulled her back into position. “Just think of moving with me like you do with your horse when she takes a jump. She moves, and you trust her completely. It’s the same with me.”
She lifted one brow. “You want me to compare you to my horse?”
The huskiness in her voice created an intimacy between them, a world where only the two of them resided. He studied her eyes, the mystical orbs that seemed to change color with her dress, sometimes her mood. Now they were a light green that reminded him of the start of spring. In response, he drew her closer. “Yes. You can ride me all day, and I’ll not allow you to fall.” He didn’t hide the innuendo of seduction that colored his voice.
What was wrong with him? He wasn’t supposed to be seducing her.
She wrinkled her nose in laughter, causing her freckles to become more prominent, then a wicked smile graced her lips. “What if you fall? Won’t you bring me down with you?”
With a smile designed to match hers, he gently twirled her in an elegant circle. All sounds and sights disappeared from his notice. She relaxed in his arms, her stance more natural, as if the two of them were a couple who’d done this sequence of steps before.
“Imagine the journey down if we fell together while you were riding me. Wouldn’t it be worth…” He cleared his throat.
For God’s sake, they were friends.
What in bloody hell was he doing?
Whatever had he been thinking to tell her to imagine riding him? His cock had thickened at the thought of her astride him, riding them both to completion. He blinked fast, hoping to clear the image of all her glorious hair covering her beautiful breasts flowing down her back as they rolled their hips in tandem. It did nothing to tamp down the hunger that flooded every inch of him.
“I finished the piece several moments ago,” Aunt Stella announced, not hiding the glee in her voice. “Since you both have continued the dance, you must be enjoying yourselves. Shall I play it again?”
“Shall we?” There was an invitation in Thea’s eyes that challenged him. For a few brief moments, he waited as he wrestled with what he wanted. He couldn’t deny he wanted nothing more than to sweep her away and kiss her until they both shut out the world in each other’s arms.
Then like a cloud of smoke, the desire in Thea’s gaze disappeared.
“No, thank you, Stella. I have work to attend to.”
He’d hesitated too long.
Will didn’t want to let her go. His cock was still at half-mast. That was the problem with pantaloons and Thea. Every inch of him was exposed in a manner that showed her effect on him.
“Will, are you all right?” She kept her voice low, but that distant look as if he’d disappointed her still flickered in her eyes.
“I’ve much on my mind. Work never ends.” What a lame excuse.
“Your family depends a great deal on you, don’t they?” She studied him as if trying to divine the answer for his unusual behavior.
“Yes, they do, and I’m better for it. If you’ll pardon me.” After a quick bow to Theodora, Will turned on his heel and exited through the floor-to-ceiling French doors behind them.
At the moment, the most pressing work was learning how to keep his body under some semblance of control.
But a nagging doubt wouldn’t leave him alone. Thea’s effect on him wasn’t lessening as he’d expected.
It was growing in strength.