The urge to pace made Emma tap her feet in a syncopated rhythm. She sat in a low coquelicot-colored brocade chair that reminded her of a field filled with red poppies. She’d purposely picked it since it was in the center of the neat sitting room. The low height would lend an easier position to look Mary Butler directly in the eyes since the maid was slight in stature and not as tall as Emma.
Nick stood a polite distance behind. With his height, the confounded man surrounded her with his presence.
The unencumbered truth was he gave her courage, something she sorely needed at this point. Even though this visit wasn’t the only reason she came to Portsmouth, it was the most important. Whatever it took, she would succeed in convincing Mary to return to London with her. For some reason, with Nick by her side, it didn’t seem like such a daunting task.
She made a quick half turn in her chair and caught his attention. He answered with a grin. It completely divested her of any remaining displeasure. She hoped his anger had melted too, as she hated it when they were at odds with each other. His fortitude inspired her, and she took it without reservation. With that strength, she wouldn’t give way to tears, even if this was one of the most painful days of her life.
The door opened. The butler, Mr. North, and Mary entered together.
“Lady Emma, it’s delightful to see you at Sykeston House.” Mr. North, a man in his early seventies, peered down at her. His normal off-putting frown had transformed into a smile that lined his thin cheeks. His hazel eyes seemed to twinkle in amusement. “Lord Sykeston will be sorely distressed to have missed this visit.”
“It’s good to be back, Mr. North.” She stood slowly. “Hello, Mary.”
“Ma’am.” Mary curtsied with her gaze lowered.
“May I introduce you both to the Earl of Somerton?” Emma asked.
The butler bowed and Mary bobbed another curtsey, this one deeper, causing the maid to flush and shrink into herself.
“Lord Somerton is my…” Good heavens, how was she to introduce him? Her what? There was no defining what he was to her. “Family friend” sounded too innocuous, and insulted them both. He was definitely more than a friend. Never before had she faced a dilemma of this sort. She’d witnessed her friends stumble much like she was now when they introduced their sweethearts or soon-to-be fiancés. He was nothing of the sort. Her gaze shot to Nick, and he smiled.
“I’m a good friend to Lady Emma,” he added in a clear, compassionate voice. His rescue was perfect as both Mr. North and Mary visibly relaxed.
“Mary, do you want me to stay?” Mr. North discreetly asked.
The maid shook her head in response.
The butler nodded, then addressed Emma. “My lady, Lord Sykeston will be home in two to three weeks. He suffered an injury that dictates he forgo any further service to the crown.” The loyal servant bowed his head. After a moment, he sniffed and drew to his full height. “I hope I’m not speaking out of turn, but I believe Lord Sykeston would greatly appreciate a visit at your convenience.”
“I’d like that, too.” Emma’s chest tightened at the words. The poor Sykeston family had endured so much over the years. Lena’s parents had passed away of an illness more than ten years ago, then Lena and her baby’s deaths, and now her brother’s injury. How much could a family take before every root in the proverbial tree was torn asunder?
“I’ll take my leave. Ring if you need anything.” The butler gave a brisk bow and left, closing the door softly behind him.
“Mary, come sit next to me,” Emma coaxed.
The young girl made her way cautiously toward Emma in a route that kept her from going anywhere close to Nick. As if sensing the maid’s distrust, he sat on the only sofa in the room, which put him a good distance away from her and Emma.
The maid took a seat next to Emma and neatly clasped her hands in her lap. “It’s so good to see you, my lady. I’ve missed the times when you and Lady Lena would spend the days together. She was always so happy around you.”
“Lady Aulton was everything lovely and a steadfast friend—”
“In this house, my lady, we refer to her as Lady Lena,” the maid interrupted. Then, as if realizing she had misspoken, she bowed her head. “I apologize.”
Emma reached over and clasped the girl’s hands with hers. “There’s no need, Mary. To me, she’ll always be Lena. That’s the way I think—no, I’m sure—that’s the way she would like for us to remember her.”
Mary looked up and smiled with the telltale glisten of tears brightening her eyes. If she blinked, they would fall.
“Mary…” With her own ability to offer comfort completely unraveling, Emma hesitated. “Did … did she suffer?”
“Aye, ma’am.” Mary bent her head once more, but gathered enough strength to look Emma in the eye. “She was badly injured. She survived the birth, but the blood…” The maid lost her fight, and her tears fell freely, streaking her pale skin. “He wouldn’t allow anyone to call a doctor. My mum, his own housekeeper, went to his study and begged. He told her he’d dismiss her without references if she disobeyed.”
Somehow, Nick had made his way to Mary’s side and handed her his handkerchief. A solemn grin eased across Emma lips. Trust Nick to be duly equipped with the embroidered cloths. He was a man unabashedly ready to extend incredible kindness to others, and she’d been wicked to him earlier. Her own tears started to gather as she witnessed his gentleness with Mary.
If she wasn’t careful, he would steal her heart, the very one she’d fought so hard to protect against all others. In answer, the unfaithful organ pounded its approval of his endearing offer of kindness to a woman unknown to him, but so obvious in need of his help.
“Lord Aulton had come to escort Lady Lena to dinner. I stayed in her bedroom. I heard her cry out, and I dashed to see what had happened.” Mary pressed her eyes closed and clenched her fists. “He stood at the top looking over the balustrade. She’d fallen down the steps and landed on her belly.” The maid took a deep breath. “After her baby was delivered, she begged me to send her letters to you. She told me you’d know what to do with them. I think she understood she wouldn’t survive.…”
Emma hadn’t come prepared for the relentless assailment of heartache and pain that hit her. As it battered unyieldingly, wave upon wave, the intensity numbed every part of her. The carefully constructed wall of resolve and certainty she’d erected since Lena’s death teetered, ready to collapse in a pile of unrelenting grief. Her throat burned with unshed tears as the reality of Lena’s painful last days came crashing down.
“Did she get to hold the baby?” Emma gasped as the anguish lacerated her insides.
Mary stared at the floor and nodded. Big tears fell to her skirts.
Emma closed her eyes as her body shuddered with two sobs. She brought her hand to her mouth, but the powerful grief escaped into a landslide of tears.
“Did she name her Audra?” Emma choked out.
The maid nodded again.
Oh God, if she hadn’t stayed in London. She should have defied her mother and left for Lena. Nothing important happened at the party, but Lena’s whole world was destroyed that night.
It was pure torture, but she had to know. “Is the baby buried with her?”
“Yes,” Mary whispered. “I prepared the bodies myself. They looked so peaceful. I tucked Lady Audra next to Lady Lena’s side. Her Ladyship had the most gracious smile, as if happy she didn’t have to suffer anymore.”
Completely defeated, Emma dropped her head and allowed the burning tears to run free. A hand gripped her shoulder and squeezed. Without looking, she placed hers over Nick’s. The firm grasp kept her grounded when it seemed as if she’d be swept away by the heartache. He didn’t move, resolute by her side. His comfort forced the cascade of tears to lessen. After a few moments, he stepped away, but she felt him hover close by.
“Come to London with me. You can work at my house.” Emma moved to the edge of her seat to squeeze Mary’s hand. “Once you’re stronger, I’d like for you to visit my father’s solicitors. They’re known as the best legal minds in London. They’ll protect you and help us find justice for Lena.”
The maid shook her head. “Please, my lady, don’t think I’m not grateful or don’t want to go. But don’t ask. I can’t.”
“Mary, you’ll be safe. No one will harm you.” Emma wiped away her tears and gentled her voice. “I promise.”
Mary was more adamant this time with her refusal. “My lady, I can’t and I won’t. My mum still works for Lord Aulton. Besides, he comes to check on me at the house every week. I expect that before Lord Sykeston returns, I’ll be back in Lord Aulton’s employment.”
Nick had moved closer to Mary and sat in the chair next to her. “Mary, your mother could come work for me. I don’t have a housekeeper, and my staff would welcome her.”
Emma’s chest constricted at the kindness in his voice. In response, the carefully crafted moorings broke free of her heart.
Enough! She could not fall in love with him.
For the first time since Mary had entered the room, her pale countenance flashed with a look of hope that shaded her cheeks with a hint of pink. With a gentle shake of her head, she quickly doused the smidge of optimism. “I can’t, my lord. But thank you for the generous offer.” She stood and took a step toward the door.
Emma grabbed her hand and held her in place. “Why, Mary?”
Mary drew herself to her full height. Her serviceable uniform of a dark gray dress and crisp white apron accentuated her steadfastness. “My lady, if I don’t do as he says, he promised to have both me and my mum arrested for stealing. He has witnesses prepared to say I took Lady Lena’s letters and her jewelry.”
Lena’s directive that Emma receive the letters would be a strong defense against those charges. And Emma was sure there was no truth to the charges of Mary stealing the jewelry. The girl had been with Lena for over ten years and was as trustworthy as they came. “I won’t let that happen.”
By now, Mary had opened the door. “I’m sorry, Lady Emma. It was truly a blessing to see you.”
Before the maid escaped from the room, Emma ran and caught her in an embrace. “My door is always open. Please reconsider our offers. If you ever need anything, I’ll be there for you. I’m at the Ruby Crown for the duration of my stay. If you change your mind after I leave, send for me and I’ll come for you the next day. I won’t let you face this alone.”
Mary nodded once, but the evidence of doubt dulled her soulful brown eyes. “You can’t help me, my lady. No one can.”
Mary slipped from her grasp and disappeared out the door like an apparition.
Aulton’s evil haunted them all.
Strong hands clasped her arms from behind, and she allowed herself to fall back against his chest. If he offered another tender gesture in comfort, she’d be inconsolable. She pressed her eyes closed and released the breath she’d been holding. “Do you see what he’s done?”
Nick squeezed her arms. “There were rumors, but I had no idea.”
Emma swallowed. “He’s getting away with murder.”
* * *
After she and Nick left Lord Sykeston’s, they wandered the streets of Portsmouth aimlessly and ended up at the harbor. Emma stared out to sea, but she couldn’t focus on anything but the sky. The wind had picked up, but she hardly noticed the cold as the sun started its elaborate performance of slipping into the western sky.
Astutely, Nick didn’t make an attempt at conversation, proving he was a mind reader, or more probably, he couldn’t decipher her mood. Frankly, neither could she. How could she have changed Mary’s mind, or at least eased her concerns over Aulton’s threats of arrest? Emma had replayed that conversation ten times since they’d left Lord Sykeston’s home, and she still didn’t have any answers.
Her hand rested on the railing before them. Nick’s gloved hand covered hers, the breadth of his strength evident through the length of his fingers and the size of his palm. For one wild moment, she craved an escape and wanted him to take her in his embrace. She needed his hands against her back, pressing her close.
She shook her head at such dreamy thoughts and laughed in a mocking tone. “I’ve always thought myself strong with an intelligence that would rival any man’s, a woman to conquer the world. Portsmouth has made me realize what a liar I am.”
“Don’t ever doubt yourself. You’ve given Mary an option if she chooses to change her mind. You can’t force her to do anything she doesn’t want.” He tugged her hand. “Come, let me escort you back to the inn.”
She didn’t contradict him—there was no need. She was a fool who had pinned unrealistic hopes of redemption on this lark of a trip to Portsmouth. If anything, her actions today and the maid’s recollections enlarged her guilt. The burden she carried was like an infection that slowly seeped into every crevice of her soul.
“I’m not ready to return to the inn. I’d like to see the water without any people or ships nearby. There’s something I want to do before I go back to London.” She pulled her hand away but didn’t face him. His powers of observation would pierce what little composure she had. “If you’re tired of my mood and want to go back to the inn, I can’t blame you. I’ll ask Harry to accompany—”
His fingers nudged her chin, and she closed her eyes to hide her vulnerability. All along, the hope this trip would cleanse her shame was a farce.
“I’ll take you wherever you’d like to go,” he answered.
A blast of wind lashed her skirts around her legs. She inhaled the salty scent of the sea and wished the pungent smell would clear the melancholy fog that enveloped her.
“I’d like to be with you.” Nick took her gloved hand in his and led her away from the docks. Such contact might not be appropriate in public, but she needed his touch. It’d been a grueling day for both of them.
“Emma, look at me.” His voice enfolded her like a rich brandy that burned before it soothed with a gentle warmth. “Your complicated and confounding mood is worrisome. Your grief is raw, too raw, for the time that’s lapsed since Lena’s death. Tell me what else troubles you.”
How could she explain that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t cleanse the blood from her hands?