| |
The next morning, Cordelia and Killian made it back to town, and she had a new skip in her step. They were official as bonded mates. His essence flowed through her veins as hers did in him. The bite on her neck still throbbed and the scabs would take a few days to heal, but it was pain she welcomed. They belonged to one another now, for the rest of their days.
As happy as she felt to bring the news of their bond to her father, something wasn’t right. The air smelled off, almost as if there was death that lingered in the air. Panic lifted ever so slightly in her chest and she squeezed Killian’s hand a little tighter.
“You smell that?”
“Yeah, I do,” he confirmed. “Where’s your sister?”
She pressed her lips into a straight line as she looked from her left to her right, not expecting to see Sarah necessarily, but her sister tended to pop up at the right time when she was needed. They went past the old fighting ring in town until they reached the block where the home she grew up in, the one she still shared with her father and sister, resided. And it was then that she saw Sarah.
Her sister fell to her knees, her face in her palms. One of the females in their pack rubbed her hand on her back in a back and forth motion.
And the death she smelled, the one she prayed hadn’t happened, at least not yet, did indeed come to fruition.
“Shit,” Killian whispered. “Go,” he told her. “I’ll be here. Go to her.”
Cordelia didn’t move. She stood like a statue as she stared at her sister on the ground, sobbing into the embrace of a woman that wasn’t her. She should be there holding her sister, just the way she was when their mother died. It was her that helped raise Sarah; she needed to help take her tears away.
“Cordelia,” Killian whispered. “I’m right here. Go.”
As if coming out of her frozen state and awareness sinking in, she turned to Killian and quickly shook her head. “We can’t. He didn’t know we became a mated pair before he...before he...” She let out a sob and Killian brought her into his embrace.
He cradled the back of her head and whispered to her, “It’ll be okay. I promise, you’ll be okay.”
There are five things no one tells you about losing a parent.
One: It won’t sink in for a while. You may feel like you’re in a dream state; it may not seem real. Hell, you may not feel anything. However, eventually, it does catch up to you. Who would be here to catch her and Sarah when it did?
Two: You don’t have to be strong all the time, but if being strong was all you knew, you did what you had to do to get by. She’d been strong for Sarah for many years. She never asked for anything in return, but now that Killian was here, could she relent some of her strength and lean on him for support?
Three: Anything that was bad or negative will no longer be important. You only remember the good times and the silly, funny bits. This happened with her mother, and now she could only imagine the silly antics of her father’s ways, and the possibility of passing it down to her own children one day.
Four: The feeling of being lost. Your parents were the first people to care for you, to love you, to do everything for you. Losing that was like losing a part of yourself. She recalled the days following her mother’s death. It wasn’t easy, but in time, the pain grew into a familiar type of feeling, almost something like a comfort. You knew it, it knew you, and together, you could take on the world.
Five: How hard it is when you’re unexpectedly reminded of their loss. She remembered the times after her mother passed when Sarah would do or say something that reminded Cordelia of their mom. People around town often commented how Cordelia looked like her mother and she would have given anything to see and hear her one more time.
She made her way to her sister and dropped down to her knees in front of her. Sarah lifted her gaze and their eyes met. Immediately, her sister clung to her, squeezing her hard to her body.
“He was gone this morning,” Sarah hiccupped. “I went in to check on him and he was gone.”
“I’m so sorry you had to do that alone,” Cordelia whispered. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.”
Sarah pulled back and shook her head. “Don’t do that. It’s not your fault. Besides...” She moved Cordelia’s hair to the side and glanced at the bite on her neck. “You’re doing what you need to in order to keep the pack running. I would never fault you for that. Nor would daddy.”
Cordelia pulled her close once more and closed her eyes. She held onto the last image of her father when he was still in good health. The three of them shifted and ran down to the river close to town. They flung themselves into the water and barked at the night sky, fished for food, and slept on the bank in their wolf form until the early morning sun. It was one of the best nights they had as a family.
“Come on, let’s go inside,” Cordelia offered. When a hand landed on her shoulder, she looked up at Killian as he stood over her.
“What can I do?”
“Hold on,” she told him, and lifted her sister’s chin. “I’ll be back in a minute. Go back inside and I’ll meet you in the kitchen. All right?”
Sarah nodded and got to her feet. The female with her pulled her into her arms and walked with her back into the house.
Cordelia then stood and wiped the dirt from her pants. She turned to Killian and took his hands. “What can you do?”
He nodded. “Anything, just name it.”
“It’s time to take over the pack. We need a new Alpha with my father’s passing and it has to be you.” She was surprised to see he didn’t flinch. He was calm when she announced it and she had a suspicion he would denounce it, but he didn’t.
“Let’s discuss that after the funeral,” he told her.
“There’s nothing to discuss. The funeral comes first. I need to do this for the pack, for Sarah.”
“For you,” he added.
She nodded and lowered her gaze to the dirt. How many times did her father cross the path she stood on? How often did he chase her as he laughed his contagious, boisterous laugh?
“He’ll never see our children,” she whispered. Her heart broke daily when she saw her father on his deathbed, broke in half this morning learning the news of his passing, but realizing he’d never get to be a grandfather completely shattered her.
Tears slipped down her cheeks and landed on her chest, her arms, and the ground.
Killian swiped the tears from her face with his thumbs. “He’ll watch over them in his own way.”
She looked at him and tilted her head. “You want children?”
“Well, not right now, but yes, eventually.”
She nodded and looked away again. “I need to get inside with Sarah. Will you help the others out here to get the pit ready?”
He frowned. “The pit? For what?”
She sighed and remembered he wasn’t privy to their ways when it came to funerals. It wasn’t a discussion most normally had, if ever. “We cremate our bodies in the pit ring, then spread the ashes in the forest.”
He brushed the hairs away from her face and cupped her cheeks. “Whatever you need me to do, I’m here.” He tilted her head up and pressed his lips to her forehead. “I love you.”
She closed her eyes. “I love you,” she whispered. Taking hold of his wrists, she pulled his hands from her face and took a step back. “I’ll be back soon.”
She left his side and hurried to the front porch. Before she walked inside, she took a glance back over her shoulder to where he stood. Killian offered a hint of a smile, and she returned it. She then went into the house and closed the door behind her.
Sarah was not in the room, and it was eerily quiet. Cordelia closed her eyes and leaned back on the door, then slid down to her bottom. She allowed the pain, the tears, the loss to consume her. Her body shook as she cried for the death of her father. He was the first man she ever loved and the one person who always had faith in her, no matter what. Even when he realized she wasn’t a boy, he still loved her fiercely.
He was loyal to the pack and his family. He never moved on after their mother’s death. His life was given to his girls and the safety of his coven.
“I hope you found mom and you’re back together again,” she whispered, then pressed her palms to her eyes. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed.
“Cordy,” Sarah spoke softly next to her and wrapped her slender arms around her sister. The two clung to one another for a long while. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but she needed this time with her sister.
“Will Killian become our Pack Master?”
Cordelia wiped at her eyes and sniffed. “Yes, that’s the plan.”
“Is he ready?”
She shrugged. “I hope so. I know he had some reservations coming in, but he seems fine with it now. I mean, he was last night.”
“I’m happy you found your mate,” Sarah offered. “One day I’ll find mine. I know he sure as hell isn’t here.”
Cordelia let out a rushed laugh, then hiccupped. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” She heard a sound from upstairs, curious who was in her father’s room. “Doctor up there or is it the guards?”
“Both,” Sarah answered. “We called the doctor first thing and as soon as he’s done examining daddy’s body, he’ll wrap him in the shroud and we can do the next step.”
“The next step,” Cordelia repeated. Could she do it, though? Could strike a match and toss it in the pit? Once he was ash, that was it, he was gone. Well, his soul was already gone and only his vessel was left behind, but it felt as if she were letting go of everything she had of him by burning his body. Could she do it? Could she go through with it?
“Let Killian help. I can see the struggle on your face, and remember, you’re not alone in this, okay?”
Cordelia nodded. “How did I get such an amazing sister?”
“I’ve often asked myself the same thing.”
With the sounds of footsteps retreating the stairs, the sisters stood and faced the doctor as he closed his bag.
“Cordelia, Sarah, I wish I were here under better circumstances, but it’s all done and he’s ready. He had a peaceful death. It looks like he passed in his sleep and didn’t suffer.”
Sarah covered her face and she cried out, turning into Cordelia’s embrace.
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” the doctor added, then turned to leave the home.
One by one, the guards who protected their father descended the stairs and each one took a moment to recognize the sisters as the brave women they were.
Annmarie made a beeline to Cordelia and pulled her and Sarah into her arms. She held onto the women for a long moment while she whispered her sorrows.
“I’m here, let me know what I can do. Name it and it’s yours. My service is to you now, my lady.” Annmarie let the women go and took a step back. She held Cordelia’s gaze then bowed, bringing her arm across her waist.
The other soldiers with Annmarie did the same gesture as they bowed.
“Mate to the new Alpha,” Annmarie said. The other soldiers repeated her words. As the guards stood once more, Annmarie waved over someone and when Cordelia turned to see who it was, she found Killian in the doorway, watching, wide eyed, and if looks were any indication, miserable. He couldn’t look more uncomfortable if he were sitting in an iron maiden.
She’d deal with him later. Right now, it was time to set plans in motion for the funeral, then for Killian to take his rightful place as Alpha.
