Though he led Jesse back to the couch to get his clothes, Gideon’s mind was elsewhere, locked in the maelstrom both of what he’d learned and what he’d brought Jess into. He knew Henry was bad news, trafficking in everything from sex peddling to drugs alongside the humans he co-existed with, but he had never suspected that he’d branch out into substances aimed at the demon world. The drug Monique and Eric described sounded exactly like what Gideon had encountered, and the fact that Henry was working out of the same warehouse where he’d touched it only confirmed that fact.
He hadn’t seen Henry when he’d scanned the club, though. And the last thing Gideon wanted was to leave Jess alone while he searched for him.
God. Jess. He’d brought him here. Yes, he knew exactly what he’d been doing, but for all its appearances, Sangre was a safe environment. As long as a human had a clear master, and as long as that master wasn’t fucking stupid and left him vulnerable, all that happened within Sangre’s walls was pleasure. Sex, and bloodplay, and more sex, and the occasional blackout when someone got a little too greedy in feeding. All Gideon had wanted was to expose Jess to the darker alleys of his life, to see if he would turn tail and run or embrace the pleasure to be had in giving himself over. Toss in the opportunity to try and spot Toby Richards’ vampire girlfriend, and it had seemed like a no-brainer as a date option.
Henry’s dealings changed everything, though. If vampires here were using whatever it was that erased all of Gideon’s inhibitions, Sangre was no longer the safe haven he thought it was. Gideon could protect Jess, but not against a mob determined for more. And if Jesse’s safety wasn’t guaranteed, he wouldn’t take the risk.
He finally looked at Jess when they reached the couch. His lean body was streaked with blood transferred from Monique, Eric’s fresh come on his back, and the drying come he’d missed cleaning away in the bathroom. His hair was a riot of dark waves, and his mouth was red and swollen. He looked absolutely nothing like the perfectly groomed man who showed up for work every day, always five minutes early.
Gideon thought he had never been so entranced by a person’s duality as he was with Jesse’s. He couldn’t let him get hurt, not now, not ever.
When Jess began to get dressed, Gideon shook his head. “Over here,” he said, nodding toward the bar.
Jess frowned, but didn’t argue, following Gideon’s lead as they navigated through the throng to the less-crowded bar area. Gideon motioned for him to step off to the side, releasing the leash, and watched him out of the corner of his eye as he called over the bartender.
“I was wondering,” he said. “Have you seen Tricia around tonight?”
The bartender’s brows drew together into a thick line as he considered the question. “You mean Henry’s Tricia?”
Gideon’s stomach sank. “Yeah. Henry’s Tricia.”
The bartender shook his head. “She hasn’t been in for awhile. A couple weeks maybe.”
Since Toby’s death. Gideon wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a really, really bad thing.
“Did Henry take off already?”
“Who knows? Ever since he started bringing in that obsidian shit, he’s never in one place for any amount of time. If you don’t see him out on the floor, he could be out back, or upstairs in his office, or gone. That’s Henry.”
“Yeah.” Gideon looked back over the crowd. “That’s Henry.”
Jess was done getting dressed, waiting expectantly a few feet away. When Gideon turned to him, he held out the leash for Gideon to take, his blue eyes burning.
Gideon’s smile was soft as he took it. “Let’s get you home.”
The air was actually hotter outside the club, the sultry night clinging to Gideon’s skin when they stepped outside the door. Behind him, Jesse took a deep breath, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jesse’s grimace of pain. It could have been the result of any number of things, but before Gideon asked, the valet was pressing his keys into his palm.
“Thank you, sir, have a good evening.”
Gideon nodded and led Jesse to the car. As soon as Jess slid into the passenger seat, with another grimace, Gideon unsnapped the leash from his collar and tossed it in the backseat. Jesse lifted the corner of his mouth in a half-smile, but he didn’t speak until Gideon was in the car and pulling away from the club.
“I may not have my full faculties, but what’s going on, Gideon?” His words were hoarse and low. “Who’s Tricia?”
Gideon’s hands were tight on the steering wheel. “Toby Richards’ girlfriend. I was hoping she’d be here tonight.” They pulled to a stop at a red light, and Gideon twisted to grab a backpack tucked behind the passenger seat. He handed it over to Jess. “There’s bottles of water in there. It’ll help your throat until we get home and I can make you some hot tea.”
“Thanks.” He opened one and downed the entire thing in several long, greedy gulps. “So, Henry, who I’m assuming is the owner of the club, is dealing something, probably the substance we’re looking for, out of the warehouse where we found the knob, and that’s linked to a girl, probably a vampire, named Tricia, who was dating Toby, and also is clearly connected to this Henry fellow?”
“Part owner,” Gideon corrected. “That’s why he was first in line to get at you. He considers Sangre his turf, even if he’s only one of three investors. But yeah, you’re right about the rest of it. I thought if I found Monique, I could hit her up to point Tricia out to me, so we could ask the girl questions about Toby.” The light turned green, and Gideon eased the car through the intersection. “Monique’s pretty much the Hedda Hopper of the demon set here in town.”
“Gideon, you didn’t know about his connection to the warehouse until tonight, did you?”
“No. Henry’s a rough character, but he’s never dealt in demon drugs before. This is new territory. And all I thought I’d get out of tonight was a chance to interrogate Tricia and find out what really happened to Toby.” Unbidden, his mouth curved into a smile. “And watch you get thoroughly fucked, of course.”
“Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”
“Because I didn’t want you involved. Just like I didn’t like you going to the warehouse.” Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Jess still regarding him with that annoyed frown that invariably preceded an argument of some sort, and Gideon sighed in frustration. “Obsidian makes vampires unpredictable,” he said. “I almost killed you when I was on it. I am not going to see you get hurt by getting stuck in the middle of this case.”
“So, you’re telling me I’m not allowed to do my actual job, but taking me to a club full of vampires that could have just as easily had access to the stuff is acceptable?”
“I told you. I didn’t know about Henry’s involvement. I didn’t even know there was more of this shit floating around. I thought if I could get the answers Richards wanted about Toby on my own, I could contain this and keep you out of harm’s way.”
“But you thought Tricia would be there,” Jess argued. “And you knew, or at least strongly suspected, that Tricia had something to do with the drugs. What if she had been there and she was carrying the drugs? I wouldn’t have even had a warning.” His hands curled into fists on his lap, and every tense line of his body betrayed his anger. “Are there any other cases I’m forbidden from working on? Should I just not draw a paycheck for this month since, apparently, I have nothing to contribute to this very serious, very dangerous situation that could directly lead to more deaths?”
“Damn it, Jess, stop making this a bigger deal than it is!”
Gideon saw their turn a fraction of a second too late, and the tires squealed as he jerked the wheel in order to make it. Jesse’s body slammed into the car door, his wince of pain audible, and a flash of guilt eased Gideon’s stranglehold on the steering wheel.
“I got you out of there as soon as I realized there was a definite threat,” he said, his voice more calm. “And, yes, I’m beginning to realize that taking you to Sangre at all was a huge mistake.”
“It is a big deal,” Jesse said softly. “I thought we had a partnership. That means we share information and we trust each other. If I’ve been wrong all this time, then you need to tell me, so I know what to expect. And what do you mean taking me to Sangre at all was a big mistake?”
Gideon’s jaw locked shut. Jesse’s description of their relationship fit everything Gideon had believed, prior to that first night he’d fucked his best friend in an alley. Seen through more rational eyes, he understood how his actions since then might be construed differently. Was his desire for a new kind of relationship with Jess ruining the foundation they’d already had? Gideon knew he was possessive, he knew he was protective. He’d always been that way, because when you were stronger and outlived your friends and loved ones, that’s what you did to keep them around as long as possible.
Before all this, he would’ve shared the information he had with Jess, without pause or second thought. Was Gideon treating Jess differently because of his own fear of losing him somehow? He suspected the answer was a resounding yes.
“Maybe this thing between you and me isn’t such a good idea,” he said. “Maybe we should just chalk tonight up as a big mistake, and go back to the way things were. Clearly, trying to change things is fucking with our professional relationship.”
“No, sorry, you don’t get to make that decision. You don’t get to put me to the test that way, and ask me to do things that I have never done before, or would ever do for anybody else, only to decide it was a mistake. We can’t go back to the way things were now.” Jesse sighed. “Gideon, do you trust me?”
“Of course, I do. But, Jess…please don’t think you failed any kind of test tonight. You were spectacular back there.” He desperately wanted to reach out and touch Jess, but after everything, he didn’t believe he had the right. “I was the one who failed.”
“I know you think you were protecting me,” Jesse said, his earlier anger replaced by the sort of long-suffering patience that Gideon had become accustomed to. “But I don’t need you to do that. I didn’t need you to do it before, and I don’t need it now. We work so well together because you don’t have to shield me from the world…” He touched his arm, “And I don’t need you to shield me from who you are, either.”
When Gideon didn’t immediately respond, Jess sighed and settled back in his seat. They continued on in silence for several blocks, candied neon flickering faintly through the blacked windows. Gideon knew Jess was waiting for him to say something, but frankly, he wasn’t sure what he could say. Jess always found fresh ways of surprising him. He wasn’t sure he deserved that.
They were only a few blocks from his apartment when it grew too oppressive for Gideon. “So what was it you’d never done before?” he asked, hoping like hell Jess would follow his lead and drop the entire matter.
“I’m not going to answer that question until you tell me what you want from me. And then I’ll tell you anything you want, in great detail if you’d like.”
Gideon snorted. “You never ask the easy questions, do you?”
“No, I don’t. My teachers used to hate me.”
“Obviously not the ones you got on your knees for. Who could hate somebody with as talented a mouth as yours?”
“Stop trying to get away from the subject, Gideon. I’ll tell you about which teachers…liked…me more than others, after you answer me.”
Sighing, Gideon pulled the car into the parking structure, rolling gently down the slope to the lower levels. “I want my best friend,” he said quietly. “I want the guy who waits up until I drag in at dawn with my back in ribbons from being thrown through a windshield, and then stays up another two hours to help bandage me up. I want the guy who’s always there when I need him, who always has the answer I didn’t realize I was looking for.” He pulled into his parking space, killing the engine before shifting to meet Jesse’s steady gaze. “And, yeah, I want the guy who’ll beg me to fuck him until he can’t sit down and then gets on his knees to worship my cock until his ass is ready for me again. And I want to make sure that none of those guys ever, ever gets hurt.”
“In order for me to be any of those guys, or all of those guys, you need to trust me, and be honest with me, or it won’t work. If you can do that, I’ll go inside with you now. If not, then you should take me back to my own place.”
The words made him choke. “If I take you home, you’re going to end up quitting, aren’t you? That’s what you said before.”
“What’s it going to be, Gideon?”
Jess wasn’t denying what Gideon feared. That left only one answer.
“Then I trust you,” he said. “Because losing you is not an option.”
Jesse chuckled. “I would have preferred to hear you trust me because I’m brilliant and capable, but I suppose that’ll do, too.”
There was more Gideon wanted to say, like how brilliant and capable he thought Jesse was, or it wasn’t so much a matter of trusting Jess as it was not trusting others, but Gideon held his tongue. He leaned across the space separating them, cupped his hand behind Jesse’s neck, and pulled him close in order for their lips to meet in a brief, hard kiss.
“Let’s go upstairs,” he said. “I have a sponge and a shower that’s got your name all over it.”
Jesse smiled. “That’s the best thing I’ve heard all night.”
Jesse followed him out of the garage like he was still being led by the leash, but it didn’t take long for Gideon to realize that Jesse wasn’t still performing his role. His high from the sex had obviously faded, leaving nothing but actual bruises and sore muscles, but Jesse didn’t say a word about it.
As soon as they reached the apartment, Jesse started stripping, leaving a trail of clothes from the front door to the bathroom.