I woke up early the next morning to Rich shaking me furiously.
‘Wake up, Numbnutbutt, wake up.’
‘I’m awake,’ I said, looking at him blearily. His two swollen black eyes were shocking to see.
‘Well, well, well, what have you been up to?’ he said, and he was grinning as he spoke.
‘I messed everything up,’ I said, and I started crying again. I couldn’t help it. I really wished I could just stop doing that. What have you got to cry about, Jeremy? Just stop it!
‘What do you mean, you messed everything up?’ Rich said, and he held up two newspapers with the headlines about the Fearless Five. ‘You’re famous,’ he said.
‘No, I’m not.’
‘You are – there’s been loads of reporters here and everything.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah,’ he said, nodding. ‘It’s been mad. Here, do you think the Fearless Five would be a good name for the band? I’m not sure Fingers & the Fudge is that cool,’ he said.
‘There’s only four of you.’
‘Not with Johnny J.’
‘He won’t be in your band.’ He’ll be in England or a prison for kids.
‘Yeah he will, trust me.’
‘OK,’ I said. I was still half crying and I wasn’t in the mood to argue.
‘So, the Fearless Five – what do you think?’
‘It doesn’t work.’
‘Maybe. Still, it has a ring to it, doesn’t it?’
‘Yeah,’ I said.
‘So what did you do it for?’
‘Cos I’m stupid,’ I said, and I placed the pillow over my face.
‘RICH! Get out of the criminal’s room. NOW!’ Mam shouted up the stairs.
‘Mam called in Father Maloney. You’re lucky you’re not being exorcised.’
‘What’s exorcised?’ I asked from beneath my pillow.
‘It’s when they pull demons out of people. I saw it on the TV once, it looks mental, but don’t worry, he’s only going to do a Mass in the house.’
‘Right.’
‘Yeah. Mam went totally nuts over this one, Jeremy. Best keep the head down.’
‘OK.’
‘Rich! Get out of there before I come up these stairs and murder the pair of you.’
‘Gotta go,’ he said. ‘Mam doesn’t want you infecting me with your badness.’ He chuckled to himself, before rising from my bed and walking to the door. I lifted the pillow.
‘Hey, Rich?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Sorry about your black eyes.’
‘Don’t be, Esther Banbridge told me I was really brave.fn1 Before yesterday she didn’t know I existed.’
‘Nice one,’ I said, and I tried to smile but my face wouldn’t let me.
Rich gave me the thumbs up and then he left me alone to think about what lay ahead.
When I finally dragged myself out of bed and dared to leave the room, Rachel was waiting and gave me a hug on the landing.
‘I don’t know what’s going on, Jeremy, but I know you and you are good, so let’s make an agreement – you give up robbing and I’ll give up smoking,’ she said, and she smiled and I nodded. ‘Deal,’ she said.
Rupert came out of Rich’s room. He was wearing his hair long like mine, except he didn’t have his in a ponytail. It was the first time I thought about cutting my hair.
‘Hey ho there, gunslinger,’ he said, and Rachel shook her head from side to side.
‘Not now, Rupert.’
‘I was only saying hello,’ he said. He kissed her forehead. ‘I take it now the package is safely returned we can leave?’ She smiled at him and nodded. ‘Good.’ He walked down the stairs.
‘What package?’ I said.
‘You,’ he said, and he laughed. ‘The Fearless Five – you couldn’t make it up.’
I really didn’t like Rupert.