Beckett
Present Day
In prison, when I couldn’t control the waves of emotion that popped up every now and again, I would work out. Often, it would be in my cell where I was trapped, so push-ups, sit-ups, running in place, and jumping jacks became my ritual.
No longer am I constrained, so I rip the tags off the new swimsuit my mom gave me last night at dinner. Throwing it on, I run down the street and onto the hot sand.
When the water hits my toes, I let out a breath. The last time I felt the sand between my toes or the salt of the ocean water was the night of Clay’s murder.
Clay and I used to swim here all the time. It’s a quiet part of the island, not a beach the tourists frequent.
I swim out farther and farther until I know it would be hard for anyone on shore to see me. I’m on the spot where the ocean meets the bay, and there is no buoy. While the island may have changed a lot, the sea remains the same, and I’m still familiar with this spot.
When I get far out, I swim as hard as I can for hours. The waves pick up with the tide, and I’m still not any more relaxed than when I got here.
No one can know. Ryland and Hudson know, and they shouldn’t have the information they do.
I have to protect Mia from them. She can’t ever find out the truth. Everyone needs to stop asking questions.
The current is getting stronger, and I move closer to the island, cutting through the water. My body should be tired of swimming for hours and fighting the waves, but it’s full of a decade of anger and grief.
I didn’t anticipate Mia. I thought she died. My attorney said the evidence from her murder was mishandled and I got lucky. I didn’t understand but wasn’t going to question it and have more time added to my sentence. Clay and Mia, they were all that consumed my thoughts in prison. Well, that and avenging their deaths when I got out.
The judge gave me a fifteen-year sentence. Parole seemed like a pipe dream. When I got a notification the board wanted to review my case again, I didn’t think I would get released. The first time I stood in front of the parole board, I was barely twenty-two and got my hopes up. The second time, I wasn’t going to set myself up.
They gave me my freedom, and the only thing I should be thinking of is how I’m going to kill Clay’s murderer. I should be doing my due diligence on him.
But all I can think of is Mia. I curse myself, knowing I shouldn’t have made any moves on her the previous night. I’m tainted and dark now. She’s innocent and light.
And you couldn’t even control yourself like a real man. You had to come all over her hand within two seconds of her touching you.
The sun is setting. No one is around. The few people who were in my view are now gone. When I begin to make my way back to shore, I figure I must be hallucinating because Mia is running toward me in cutoff jean shorts and a T-shirt.
She dives under the water then pops back up, swimming toward me.
Oh shit. Something bad happened.
My heart beats in my neck.
“Mia, what’s wrong?” I ask, standing up to my neck in water. It’s over her head, so I embrace her.
She runs her fingers through my hair, and brings her lips to mine, urgently darting her tongue in and out of my mouth, breathing new life into all my cells. Her legs wrap around my waist, and the false sense once again stirs in me that everything can be all right.
You need to stay focused, Beckett. You have a mission.
“I’m not a good man, Mia,” I mumble.
“Shh,” she replies before grasping me tighter.
“You should stay away from me,” I tell her as I slide my hands into her shorts and palm her ass.
“No.”
My heart soars even though I know she’s too good for me.
She pushes her forehead to mine. “You said you wouldn’t leave me. I’m not leaving you.” Her turquoise eyes scan mine, and every emotion I’ve been trying to work off comes crashing to the surface.
I sob. Hard.
She tries to wipe my tears, but they fly out too fast. My body heaves against hers as walls I’ve built for ten years come crumbling down.
There are so many things I did in prison to hide my pain.
I grieved daily in my mind, working out till I could hardly move at times.
I cried into my pillow for the first few weeks until I realized there was no room in prison for tears.
I talked to hardly anyone, keeping to myself, not sure who I could trust and fearing for my life. When I got stronger and was no longer a boy, it still didn’t matter. You never turned an eye. Anyone could be your enemy waiting to take you down.
I learned loneliness can grip you like death itself.
The boy I was, the man I thought I would become, no longer exists. He’s a faint memory I try not to remember. Instead, I’m a hardened felon, out of sync with everything that used to make sense to me, and ready to seek vengeance.
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth has become my motto.
I no longer care about the consequences of my life. I will either be dead or end up back in prison when I get my vengeance. There is no way around it.
I hate my fate and everything I’ve become.
The most stunning woman is in my arms, and I’m sobbing, unable to control anything I’ve managed to in the last ten years.
“Shh,” she whispers against my lips. And it’s as if she’s giving me kisses of redemption.
When I finally get a handle on my emotions, she shivers in my arms, and I realize it’s gotten dark, and the water is cold.
“Let’s go back in,” I tell her.
Mia strokes my cheek with the back of her hand. “Okay.”
I release her, and we swim in side by side till it’s shallow. She holds my hand while we wade through the water.
When we get back to her house, the new windows are installed, and everything has been cleaned up. I punch in the code to her door, and her stomach growls.
“You haven’t eaten today, have you?” I’ve eaten nothing either and realize I’m hungry, too.
“No.”
I already know from putting ice in her freezer last night and opening up her fridge that she has no food in the house.
I sigh. I haven’t started my job yet and have no money. I can’t even take her out somewhere nice.
God, you’re such a loser.
“Go get clean clothes on. My parents will have tons of food.”
“They won’t care if I’m there?”
“What you saw last night, that’s normal. ‘The more, the merrier,’ is my mom’s motto.”
She nervously scans my eyes. “You won’t leave me on my own?”
“I’m going to need to shower and change, but you’re welcome to stay in my room when I do.”
Or come in with me.
Wishful thinking, Beckett. Would you even know what to do?
“Okay.” She spins to go to the bathroom and stops. Turning back to me, she reaches up to my head and kisses me.
“Or I could shower with you,” I blurt.
She stares at me.
Great, now you’ve freaked her out.
She bites down on her lip then takes my hand and leads me toward her bathroom.
Don’t fuck this up, Beckett. I say a quick prayer that this time, I won’t disappoint her.
When we get to the bathroom, she turns the water on and we both freeze.
“I haven’t done this before,” I divulge as heat creeps up my neck.
Jesus. Shut your mouth.
A tiny smile plays on her lips. “Me, either.”
I look at her in surprise. “No?”
She shakes her head.
Taking a deep breath, I step toward her and clutch her shirt at the waist then bend down and kiss her.
Her arms go around my neck, and her tongue swirls in my mouth.
I remove her wet shirt, grasping it in my palm next to her back, stealing her lips then unhooking her bra in a swift movement.
At least I didn’t lose that skill.
I throw her clothes on the floor, and she unties my swim trunks. Her hands are shaking, and I don’t know if it’s from cold or nerves.
I push her shorts off her, and she shoves mine off me. I stand back and look at her.
A sexy pink flush fills her face, and she bites down on her lip, anxiously scanning my eyes.
“You’re gorgeous.” My heart races faster.
She reaches for my hand, and we step into the shower. The warm water rolls down my back, and I wrap her in my arms.
She’s cold, and I turn her in the small shower so she’s under the water. Her arms are quickly around my neck, her body flush against my growing hard-on.
“You’re nice and warm,” she says, smiling.
“You can steal my body heat anytime.”
She giggles.
I hold the sides of her head, bending down to kiss her then move her forward so the water is only on her back. I fill my palm with shampoo and wash her hair, massaging her scalp.
“Mmm, that feels nice.” Her eyes are closed, and I absorb every detail of her: her lips, slightly swollen from our kisses, the long length of her black lashes, the curve of her neck, the way her chest rises and falls with each breath, the freckle below her ear.
She’s beyond beautiful. How is it possible she’s not already taken?
I rinse her hair and pour her body wash in my hands, turning her into me then kneading it into her shoulders while kissing her neck. My hands move down her arms and to her chest, teasing her nipples then dropping to the curve of her waist. I slide my finger over her rib and trace her scar.
Mia tilts her head and looks up at me, and I dip down to kiss her, gliding my hand farther down her, slipping into her folds, circling my finger on her clit.
“Oh...” she breathes into our kiss, and I wrap my other arm around her waist, holding her tight to me.
My erection presses hard on her back.
She grips my thighs with both hands, digging into my muscle, her chest heaving faster.
“You’re exquisite,” I tell her as she presses her cheek to mine, closing her eyes and her mouth forming an O.
I maintain my speed on her, not wanting to rush anything with her, desiring to keep her like this.
“Beckett,” she whimpers, her legs caving and my arm fully supporting her.
“I got you, angel,” I murmur in her ear, sucking on her lobe.
“Oh God...please, Beckett...oh God...oh,” she cries out, quivering in my arms.
“You turn me on...so much,” I mumble, increasing my speed on her and sucking on the curve of her neck.
“Beckett,” she cries out, and it echoes from the tiles. Her body trembles as her eyes roll, and her face flushes.
I hold her tight to me. I’m kissing her jaw when she steadies herself and turns into me, gripping my head and guiding me into her mouth.
I wrap my arms around her. Her hard nipples slide against my chest, and she moves her hand down my chest.
I’m so consumed by her kisses, I don’t realize she poured soap in her hands, until they glide over my shaft.
Don’t blow your wad in two seconds this time, Beckett.
“Tell me if I’m doing anything wrong,” she whispers.
Doing anything wrong?
Breathing hard, I get out, “No. Don’t stop. Please keep doing what you’re doing.”
She resumes sending me back to paradise with her kisses, and I greedily lick her tongue between panting.
“What if I do this,” she murmurs and twists her hand while shimmying it up and down my shaft.
“Fuuuuuck, that’s so good,” I tell her.
She bites my bottom lip.
“God, you’re sexy as hell,” I tell her.
Her mouth moves to my neck then my chest, and she sucks on my nipple.
I groan, and she speeds up her hand job.
Heat rushes through my body, and my balls shrivel. I put my palm on the shower wall to support me as I cry out, “Fuck, Mia,” and explode.
Well, at least you lasted longer this time.
I’m breathing hard, and she pulls my head down and crushes her mouth to mine, making me feel like I’m a man she wants and needs and craves.
And my only desire is to be with her. I want to please and protect her, to make her smile, to make anything bad that ever happened disappear.
I drop to my knees.
She looks at me like she isn’t sure what I’m doing. I slide my hands between her thighs then pick her up, throwing her legs over my shoulders.
My tongue swipes through her slit, and she squeaks, gripping my hair. I laugh softly then refocus and lick every inch of her pussy, teasing and taunting her so she’s shaking before I even send her to her high.
Her pink paradise is my shrine that I worship and give homage to, flicking and sucking in delight.
The steam of the shower creates a gray fog, and the heat from her body penetrates me.
“Beckett,” she cries out, unraveling, and shoving my face into her body so hard I can’t breathe.
Her thighs squeeze my neck as she bucks into my face, trapped between me and the wall.
When I can’t make her tremble anymore, I slowly let her down, rising and kissing her stomach then breasts then mouth once more.
“I think we did good for our first shower session,” she murmurs.
I grin and give her another deep kiss. “I’ll agree to that.”