Mia
Present Day
Gabriella gets done showing me how to use the phone. I’ve avoided looking at Beckett since he came back down the stairs. He’s been talking to his parents across the room.
Time to get back on the horse. An open condom wrapper and condom was next to the note. I stared at it. I had never seen one before.
The anxiety I usually feel around dating is back.
Beckett and Clay during their high school years always were surrounded by girls. They talked about them. Hung out with them. Dated them.
He’s been with tons of girls. I don’t even know what to do.
Like in the shower—I didn’t know what he was going to do to me when he dropped to his knees. He knows exactly how to touch me with every part of his body, and I don’t know if what I’m doing is right or wrong. I want to make him feel as good as he makes me feel, but I don’t have all his experience or even to know where to start.
Who are you kidding? You have zero experience.
I try to pay attention to what Gabriella is showing me with the phone. It seems simple enough.
You’re so out of touch, Mia. You don’t even know how to use a cell phone.
“Easy, peasy, huh?” Gabriella asks.
I nod. “Thanks.” My anxiety isn’t going away with all my thoughts racing. Every time I glance at Beckett, my pulse increases. I’ve never wanted anyone before. But I want him. I didn’t understand what it meant when people said they have to have someone. But that is how I feel about Beckett. And I’m way out of my league.
The cell phone reads that it’s past 11:00. I stand up. “I think it’s time for me to go. Thanks for dinner, Connie.”
Beckett stares at me, and I’m not sure how to take his look. So many notions about my lack of sexual or even dating experience have me flustered.
Connie hugs me. “Come over any time. It’s so good seeing you, Mia.”
“Thanks.”
George hugs me, too. “We always have room for you here, Mia.”
Their kindness makes me blink hard. “Thank you,” I manage to get out.
Before the condom incident, everything felt comfortable and fun. I always loved hanging out with Gabriella at their house when I was a child, and nothing has changed. They are still the same warmhearted, good family.
“I’ll walk you home,” Beckett says, scanning my eyes.
Is he nervous? No, I must be imagining things.
“Thanks.”
He motions for me to go first, and when we both get outside, we stroll side by side, but he doesn’t hold my hand or put his arm around my waist like he did before.
My panic increases. He saw me staring at the condom. Ugh.
Neither of us says anything when we get to my house. I punch in the four digits, his inmate number, and turn to him. “I’m sorry about the code. Can we change it to something different?”
“It’s okay. We can change it tomorrow if you want.”
“Thanks.” I step inside, but he stays outside.
He hesitates.
“Are you going to come in?” I ask him.
He exhales, steps inside, and shuts the door.
We stare uncomfortably at each other, near my front door, not moving.
“I’m sorry,” he finally says.
I look at him in surprise. “For what?”
His face turns crimson. “The condoms with the note my brother put on the box.”
My cheeks burn. “It’s okay. It’s your room.”
“I just wanted to see if they were the same as ten years ago.” He looks at the ceiling then back at me, as if embarrassed.
Why is he embarrassed? He isn’t an awkward virgin who doesn’t know what to do.
“I should apologize. I didn’t mean to stare. I’ve just never seen one,” I blurt out, and my face grows hotter.
“Since you’re on the pill?”
“How do you know I’m on the pill?”
“They were on your dresser.”
“Oh.” I take a deep breath.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry into your business,” he quickly says.
“I’ve never had a reason to use a condom.”
“Since you’re on the pill?” he repeats.
“I’m on the pill because I have endometriosis.”
His eyes widen. “I studied that in my nursing courses. Does the pill help?”
I look at him in surprise. “You took nursing courses?”
“Yes. I got my degree so I could work in the clinic and do something besides sit in my cell all day.”
A gush of pride washes over me. “That’s amazing.”
He shrugs. “So, does the pill help the pain?”
“Yes.”
“The guys you’ve been with have never used a condom?”
Guys I’ve been with? My cheeks are scorching, and I look away.
He steps forward and turns my chin to look at him. “Hey, I’m sorry. I’m not judging you.”
I inhale deeply. “I’ve never been with anyone.”
His head jerks back. It’s not a big jerk, but it’s enough, I notice.
God, this is so embarrassing.
“How is that possible?”
I look away.
He turns my face back to him again. “I mean it as a compliment.”
I bite my bottom lip. My heart’s racing, and my stomach is doing flips.
“You’re beautiful and sexy. And I don’t know how you kept all your boyfriends off you all these years.”
I quietly say, “I’ve not had boyfriends. I’ve been alone.”
A sad look crosses his face, one that comes from firsthand knowledge.
“You deserve more,” he states.
Time stands still as he scans my eyes, swallowing hard, licking his lips, breathing harder.
“I don’t know how to please you,” I blurt out and instantly wish my mouth would shut up tonight.
Confusion fills his face. “What are you talking about?”
“When we’re together...I don’t know what to do.”
The sides of his lips turn slightly up. “Yes, you do.”
I shake my head, and my insides quiver.
He pushes his forehead to mine and wraps his arm around my back, pressing me to his body. His erection grows, digging against my stomach. “Do you feel that?”
“Yes,” I breathe.
“You do that to me,” he growls.
“Do you want all of me even though I don’t know what I’m doing?”
“I want you so bad, you’ve consumed all my thoughts since I laid eyes on you in the courtroom.”
I’m not sure if Beckett’s heart or mine is pounding harder.
“I want all of you.” Butterflies erupt in my stomach.
“Do you want me to go home and get a condom?”
“No.”
He quickly says, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume—”
“I meant, don’t go. Let’s not use one.”
He blinks several times, reaches behind me, and locks the door. His lips possess mine, owning and worshiping me. He steps backward, guiding me down the hall while exploring my mouth with his tongue.
“You make my body throb,” I murmur against his lips.
A deep throaty groan escapes his mouth, and he reaches down into my pants. “I love how you taste,” he says between kisses, slipping his finger through my wet folds.
I whimper, clenching from his touch.
He inches in me, curling his finger and rubbing his thumb on my clit.
Heat ignites in my toes, rolling through me. I lock my hands onto his neck.
Licking me behind my ear then sucking on my lobe, he murmurs, “You tell me if you want me to stop at any time.”
“No. Don’t stop...don’t...don’t...oh God!” I cry out as he sends me flying over the edge, and I lose the ability to stand, relying on his arm around my waist to hold me up.
His lips flutter on my neck, his erection hard as steel, pulsing on me.
I greedily reach for his face, gliding my tongue in his mouth then bite his lip, gripping his skull and pressing as close to him as possible.
The warmth of his hand caressing my naked back sends tingles up and down my spine. I reach for his shirt, trying to remove it, and he fists the back of it and gracefully slides it off.
I kiss his chest as his heartbeat thumps on my lips, and reach into his shorts.
Groaning, he grabs my wrists and lifts them above my head, holding them high in the air while his other hand tugs my shirt off. He lowers my hands around his neck. “Don’t ever let go of me, Mia,” he murmurs then dips his mouth back to mine, kissing me with so much fire, I’m lost in everything Beckett. New nervous butterflies erupt when he removes all my clothes.
He picks me up and places me on the bed, feasting on my entire body, sucking my nipples, licking my bullet wound, tracing the curve of my waist with his finger. Every touch, every kiss brings flutters and tingles and spikes of adrenaline I’ve never experienced before.
For the second time today, he throws my legs over his shoulders. Turning his head, he kisses my thighs.
Energy buzzes throughout me, lighting me up and making me feel alive and wanted.
“You’re perfect,” he mumbles on my thigh then dips his tongue inside me before sweeping it up to my clit.
I gasp, fumbling with where to put my hands, not remembering what I did with them in the shower, wanting to grip his head but not sure if I should. I brush them across his head then on top of his hands, which are on my hips, then back and forth. He decides for me, entwining his fingers between mine and holding them on my hips while circling his thumb on my skin.
The godliness of his tongue glides through me.
Flicking me.
Tasting me.
Igniting me.
Incoherent noises fill the room as he brings me to a peak but doesn’t release me, licking and sucking with different intensities. I clasp his hands harder, begging him, while my breasts heave and my skin glistens with a sheen of sweat.
“Yes...right there...oh...yes...” I hardly get out, my voice raspy.
He moves my hands to his head and releases them. I grip his hair, forcefully pressing his face into my pussy as I buck my hips up.
He holds onto me and sucks me so hard, my head spins as my body becomes an earthquake full of tremors.
In my aftermath, my hands are still locked into his hair as I try to catch my breath. His fingers stroke mine, and I release them, locking eyes with his that smolder like a fire, ready to ignite.
He kisses my inner thighs again then releases my legs, licking my stomach, breathing his warm breath on my breasts, sucking on my neck.
My flesh hums, bubbling and scorching from what he’s already given me, pulsing with anticipation of what’s next, craving his cock that’s hard and dripping on my hot skin.
I taste my orgasm on his tongue as he darts into me, as his hands dip down and spread my legs wider. The tip of his cock hits my sex, and a loud, throaty groan escapes him.
“Oh God,” I breathe.
He clenches his jaw, his breath labored. “Do you still want all of me?” he murmurs.
“Yes.”
Beckett scans my eyes while slowly inching in me.
He’s hardly in and I don’t know how he’ll get any farther. I dig my nails into his back.
“Okay, angel?”
I whimper.
“Try to relax,” he instructs me.
I blow out a breath, refocus, and he glides farther in, loudly groaning.
“Oh God, Beckett, it stings.”
“Shh.” He strokes my hair and stills. “It should stop in a minute.”
“Okay.” I breathe out.
Gently, he kisses me, parting my lips with his tongue, slowly exploring my mouth, stroking my cheek. I don’t know how much time goes by, but the stinging goes away, and my fingers trail his back till I’m palming his ass.
He makes tiny thrusts inside me.
“Oh God,” I pant.
“Hurt?”
“No...oh God, you feel good,” I blurt out, rocking my hips into his thrusts.
He smiles and murmurs, “You feel amazing.”
“Oh God. Beckett...what do I do...oh God,” I cry out as he shimmies against my walls.
“Don’t stop what you’re doing,” he pants back.
“No?”
“No. You’re perfect. Yes...that, Mia...oh fuck...”
He lowers his mouth to my collarbone and sucks on it while he thrusts deeper.
Moans, cries, and murmurs fill the room. The air becomes thick with the scent of sex. Sweat on our flesh merges together. Tongue, lips, and teeth glide across skin.
“Beckett...Beckett...oh...” A rush of adrenaline bursts through all my veins, and my eyes roll as my heart races.
He laces his fingers through mine, pinning them above my head, thrusting into me faster and harder.
Like waves crashing on the shore, there’s a never-ending supply of endorphins exploding and slowing, over and over.
I can’t keep my eyes open. Every time Beckett pounds into me, my eyes can’t focus, and my pulse skyrockets. I squeeze his hands as tight as I can.
“You’re so fucking good,” he pants, making my ego soar.
I lean up for his lips and suck on his bottom one.
He groans and thrusts some more. I douse him in my juices as my high hits me harder, and he pumps his seed in me, never slowing down.
Beckett collapses on me, each of our breaths labored, hearts beating, and skin drenched. Our fluids cover my sheets, soaking them in our high.
Beckett releases my hands, trailing his fingers down my arms, before rolling off me but taking me with him so we’re both on our side.
Still panting hard, he strokes my cheek. “You okay?”
“Yes.”
He kisses my forehead then sweetly grins at me. “You, Mia Crimson, are a gift. Thank you.”
Beckett tightens his arms around me, and I sink into his chest, feeling protected, loved, and needed.
This is what life should be like. Maybe I can have a normal, happy life after all.
Beckett worships me all night, while I fall in and out of sleep, thinking maybe we can finally both be happy and put the last ten years of hell behind us.
But I should have paid attention to Beckett’s comments about the possibility of being in danger and vengeance.