Beckett
“Damn it!” I kick the ground as Mia’s SUV tears away from me.
I can’t do this with you. Mia’s words play over and over.
Ryland climbs down the ladder. “Where’s Mia going?”
I throw my hands in the air in frustration. “I don’t know, but she took her gun.”
“What?”
“She said since I’m not going to tell her what’s going on that she’ll have to figure out who is good and who is bad.”
“Beckett, she knows Henry is part of this.”
My gut is flipping, but Ryland’s words make it flip even more. “I know.”
“Maybe you should tell her.”
I jerk my head at him. “About what we’re planning? No way!”
“No. Not that. Just what happened that night and who was part of it.”
This is bad. “Mia shouldn’t know anything. It’s too dangerous for her.”
“Maybe it’s more dangerous for her not to know. Besides, it isn’t like she is going to tell anyone.”
The same fear I always have fills me. “I don’t know.”
Ryland looks around to make sure no one is around us and says, “What do you remember about a girl named Veronica?”
“Veronica?”
“Yeah. She said she was ‘friends’ with Clay, hung out a few times. Blonde, nice body?”
“Blonde, nice body...can you be more specific?” I raise my eyebrows. “That sounds like half the girls in our class that were all over Clay.”
“Okay, killer body. Said she met Clay at the bonfires, so I don’t think she went to your school.”
I wrack my mind. Someone who didn’t go to our school who Clay met at the bonfires.
I snap my fingers. “There was a girl right before Clay died. I only met her a few times. She hooked up with Clay, probably four or five times. I don’t know much about her. Why do you ask?”
“We saw her in one of the shops. She said Mia looked familiar, and she has a twisted heart tattooed on her collarbone.”
My eyes widen as chills run through me. “Are you sure it’s the same tattoo?”
“Positive.”
The tattoo is what Skates has on his forearm. Members of his gang have the same symbol inked on their skin to signal they are loyal to him for life.
I know that tattoo well. Several inmates had it, and over the years, more and more had come into the prison I was at. Skates’ gang had substantially grown over the past decade. Gang fights in the prison were common and, as Skates’ power grew, so did the pressure to join.
It didn’t matter if you were in prison or outside. Skates had plenty of “jobs” for his members to do for him. Recruiting new members was part of the gangs’ duty.
“She could have met Skates after everything went down. I don’t remember her having a tattoo ten years ago, but I could be forgetting.”
“She said she thought Mia had died. There wasn’t a death announcement in the paper about Mia. It only said that she was shot. Her grandparents held the joint funeral and told everyone she died, but it was never announced.”
“News on the island travels fast though.”
“Yes, but she seemed flustered when Mia asked her about her tattoo and also when she found out who Mia was.”
“So, you think she played a part in Clay’s death?”
Ryland shrugs. “I don’t know, but I think it’s possible. And if she knows that Clay was involved with Skates and is part of his gang, then she’ll tell him Mia is alive and back, if Henry doesn’t know where he is and hasn’t already told him.”
“I need to find Mia. She shouldn’t be going anywhere by herself.”
Ryland turns and shouts, “Hudson. Connor.” He motions for them to come down.
They both climb down the ladder.
“What’s going on?” Connor asks.
“Need you to scour the island for Mia. If you find her, call us. We’ll take the southern part. Connor, you stay here on the northern part. Hudson, you take Holmes Beach to Cortez Rd.”
“Any idea where she might have gone?” Hudson asks.
I scrub my hands over my face. “She just said that she needed space, and there was too much going on here.”
“My gut says to check the beaches, both intercoastal and seaside,” Connor says. “That’s where I’d go if I needed space.”
I pat Connor on the back. “Me, too. Good suggestion. Everyone check the beach areas first.”
We part. Ryland and I hop in his truck. He hands me his phone. “Try calling her. Tap that icon and type her name.”
“I probably should learn to use one of these.”
“Yeah, you need to.”
I do as he advises. “What now?” I tilt the phone so that Ryland can see.
“Hit the phone number, and it should dial.”
I tap the number, and it rings but goes to a canned voicemail message.
“She isn’t answering.”
“We should put a tracker on her phone. Actually, with everything that has happened today, we should make sure everyone in the family has one.”
“How do you do that?”
A smug expression fills Ryland face. “It’s pretty simple. I can do it, and none of them would know. I just need to get their phones in my hands.”
“Okay, let’s do it today.”
I look out the window. The water is sparkling, and the green palm trees are softly swaying in the wind.
It’s incredible how so much beauty can hold so much corruption.
Mia’s words fly through my mind again. I can’t do this with you.
“Something else going on?” Ryland asks.
“Hmm?”
“You’re leg is bouncing all over the place.”
I exhale. “Sorry. I think Mia’s finished with me.”
“Why do you think that?”
“She told me she can’t do this with me anymore.”
“Because you won’t divulge the truth about what happened?”
“I told her it was to protect her, but she thinks I don’t trust her.”
“Maybe it’s time to disclose things. Mia isn’t going to run around talking about it.”
I close my eyes. “If I tell Mia, I have to share everything about Clay’s relationship with Skates. I don’t want to hurt her any more than she already is by tarnishing her memory of Clay. I’m not sure what she’ll think if she knows he was involved with him.”
And she’s sure to hate you once she knows the role you played in Clay’s problems.
“Yeah, but Clay didn’t know what he was getting involved in.”
“I know, but still. Isn’t it going to hurt her more?”
“Maybe it will help her have a bit of closure.”
I snort. “Closure. There’s no closure till they are all dead.”
Ryland nods. “I’m with you till the end, Bro, but maybe it will be for Mia. She probably needs something. Imagine if one of us died, and you didn’t know anything around it, and the person who went to prison for the murder didn’t do it.”
Maybe Ryland is right.
“Oh, and then you’re sleeping with that person who knows the truth, but they won’t tell you anything. She kind of has a right to be pissed at you.”
I groan. “When did you become full of relationship advice?”
He snorts. “Don’t get too excited. I think I scare off most women.”
“Why do you say that? Girls always were fawning all over you from what I remember.”
He pauses and glances at me quickly. “Let’s just say I like all the control in the bedroom. Not every woman is into it.”
“What does that mean?”
He chuckles. “Nothing, little brother. Forget I said anything.”
“Are you into kinky shit?”
His jaw twitches. “Define what you mean by kinky.”
“I just got out of prison. I think you’ll have to fill me in.”
“Some other time.”
What does that mean?
We cross Cortez Road where the bridge dead ends into the island. We drive a few hundred feet and go through the roundabout, past Bridge Street, a small road with shops and restaurants butting up to the bay. “Start looking for her car.” He motions to my side of the road where cars are parked to access the beach.
Since it’s the off season and a weekday, there aren’t as many tourists as there typically are, and the island is pretty dead looking. Parking spaces that would normally be full are empty.
We drive a few miles, and Ryland veers into the parking lot on Coquina Beach.
My heart beats faster, and my breathing becomes heavier.
“You okay?” Ryland looks at me.
Pull it together, Beckett.
“Yeah. Just a lot of memories.” I spot Mia’s car, which is parked as close to the building where Clay and Mia got shot as possible. “There’s her car.”
Ryland parks next to it. I sit in the seat for a minute, staring at the building.
“Everything looks the same,” I mutter.
“Yes. They don’t allow bonfires anymore, but that’s about it.”
No bonfires, no more murders.
I open the door. “You can go. I’ll see you later. Thanks for helping.”
“You don’t want me to wait?”
“No. I’m good.”
“At least take my phone, Beckett.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. Let me text Connor and Hudson.” He quickly types out a message and sends it off. “Call Hudson or Connor if you need a ride or anything.”
“Thanks.” I get out of the truck, passing the building where Clay took his last breath, and Mia’s and my entire life changed.
Thump, thump, thump, beats my heart against my chest cavity. I should only be looking for Mia, but I can’t help myself and look inside the gift shop.
No trace of that night exists. It’s as if it never happened.
“Can I help you?” a woman with gray hair and a purple T-shirt asks me.
I shake my head and smile at her. “I’m good, thanks.” I turn and spot Mia, sitting in the sand with the waves rolling over her feet.
No one else seems to be around. Minus a few beach walkers, the white sand stretches into the turquoise water, empty.
Quietly, I sit next to Mia and put my hand on top of hers. She turns to me with tear-stained cheeks.
“I don’t want to lose you,” I blurt out as a seagull lands right near my foot and chirps.
She looks at the water, and a tear rolls down her face and drops onto her thigh.
I scoot closer to her and put my arm around her and kiss her cheek. “What do you need from me? Tell me so I don’t lose you.”
She looks at me with sorrow-filled eyes. “The truth.”
“What if it causes you more pain?”
She digs her foot into the sand. “I know how to deal with pain, Beckett. I’ve dealt with it my entire life.”
But you shouldn’t have to.
I tug her closer to me. “I’ll tell you what happened, but no one can know about this conversation.”
She leans into my chest, and I kiss her head. “I promise.”
“I don’t want you to think bad about your brother. He didn’t know what he was getting into.”
She tilts her head up and scans my eyes. “Okay. I won’t.”
“And I don’t want you to hate me for my part in it, but I won’t blame you if you do.”
Mia peers at me. “Did you pull the trigger?”
“No.”
“Then nothing you did is your fault.”
I take a deep breath and look away.
She grips my face and moves it toward hers. “It’s not your fault.”
I nervously scan her eyes. “You haven’t heard the truth yet.”
“Tell me.”
I try to figure out where to begin. I look around to make sure we are still alone. Even though we are, I keep my voice low. “Do you remember Casey Cline?”
“The restaurant owner?”
“Yes.”
“Sure, why?”
“He has a son named Skates. Well, his name is Jimmy, but he goes by Skates.”
“Did he shoot my brother?”
I swallow the lump forming in my throat. “Yes.”
She blinks several times. “Why?”
“He started to come to our football practices and talking to Clay after. I didn’t know. I...I...” I exhale and look away as shame fills me.
Mia puts her hand on my thigh. “It’s okay, tell me.”
I swallow hard. “I used to go do things with girls in the bleachers after practice. Instead of looking out for Clay, I was more worried about girls.” I stare at her, waiting for her to be disgusted with me.
“That’s not your fault. It wasn’t your job to look out for Clay.”
“He was my best friend.”
“You couldn’t have known anything bad was happening. You were a kid on the football field. It should have been safe.”
So she isn’t going to judge and hate me?
She strokes my cheek. “What did Skates want with Clay?”
“Clay started ‘running errands’ for Skates. He would go to the parking lot on 75th and Manatee and take boxes of napkins to the five different restaurants that Skates’ dad owns.”
“And?”
“One day, I was with him when he picked up an order, and I made him pull over on the causeway. I removed all the napkins out of a box, and we discovered heroin taped to each bundle.”
Mia puts her hand over her mouth.
“Clay promised he would never run errands for Skates again, but Skates told him that he was in a contract with him for life. He also knew we found the heroin.”
Mia takes a deep breath and bites down on her lip.
“That was mistake number two that I made...going through the box.”
“Clay’s death isn’t your fault,” Mia reiterates.
“I made more mistakes, Mia.”
She looks at me in question.
“Clay and I met with Henry, the police officer who showed up at your house today. I thought because he was my dad’s best friend, we could trust him. But he’s on Skates’ payroll. Ryland and Hudson’s sources found out he makes sure nothing happens to Casey Cline or Skates on the island.”
She closes her eyes. “You couldn’t have known.”
My self-hatred for ever trusting Henry fills my soul, gripping me so hard the air in my lungs becomes thick. “Henry told Skates we spoke with him. He was there when both Clay and you got shot.”
She cups my face. “You’re not to blame for Clay’s murder.”
Tears fill my eyes. “I am.”
“No, you aren’t,” she cries out.
I close my eyes for a brief moment.
When my eyes open, Mia’s, as turquoise as the sea, search mine. “Why did you take the fall?”
“Henry and Skates threatened to murder my entire family and in worse ways than what they did to Clay and you. They didn’t want any open murder that could possibly be traced back to them. A closed case meant they were off the hook, and no one was any wiser. Henry knows my family better than anyone. He knew I would sacrifice myself to protect them.”
“But you could have told another law enforcement agency.”
“You don’t understand,” I sternly tell her. “This goes deeper than the island police. Casey Cline has deep connections throughout the state police. My entire family would have been killed.”
I don’t mention to Mia that Skates told me he owns me. That for over a decade I’d lived in fear Skates would demand I do something in prison. Thankfully, I never received any messages, but I know he’s waiting for me. My time without being faced with that problem is running out.
The waves come up to our calves as the tide rolls in. We stay quiet for several minutes.
“Do you know why my grandparents hid me? They kept saying it wasn’t safe. If they thought you did it, then why did they say that?”
I kiss the top of her head. “I don’t know. They never said what wasn’t safe?”
“They wouldn’t tell me.”
“We may never find out. If Henry or anyone ever asks, you need to say you don’t remember anything.”
“Okay.”
“But, Mia, you can’t go anywhere without me, Ryland, or Hudson. Now that Henry knows, it’s not safe for you to be by yourself.”
“I’ll take my gun with me.”
“No, Mia. We will handle this. I don’t need you getting into any trouble with the law.”
Her eyes turn to slits. “What do you mean you’ll handle this?”
Shut your mouth, Beckett.
I quickly give her a half-truth. “Protecting you. That’s all I mean.”
She scans my eyes. “That’s it?”
I lie to her and nod. She can’t know what I will do.
It’s a perfectly clear evening, and the sun begins to set. A handful of people arrive with their beach chairs and towels to watch it. I put my arm around her tighter. “I use to think about sunsets in prison and the final few seconds of light after the sun is entirely under the ocean. Clay and I used to stay out here as long as we could, sometimes in the water, sometimes just hanging out. I don’t know why I focused on those memories.”
“Maybe because they were happy ones.”
I kiss Mia’s head. “What do you miss most about Clay?”
She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. “Everything.”
I blink back my own and finally manage a “Me, too.” I move her onto my lap and wrap both arms around her. She rests her head in the curve of my neck.
“I keep thinking about how upset he was that I wore that outfit Gabriella made me put on for the bonfire.”
I chuckle. “Remember Gabriella sitting on his lap and flirting with him?”
Mia sweetly smiles. “Yeah. You were so pissed.”
“In prison, all I could think was how I would give anything to have Gabriella getting under my skin.”
“I missed her, too. And I missed you.”
“You did?” I say in surprise.
She lifts her head and strokes the side of mine. “Yeah. Every day.”
“Why didn’t you hate me?”
She puts her hand over my heart. “I know you, Beckett. In my heart, I know you couldn’t have done it.”
A tear drops down my cheek, and she wipes it with her thumb then brings her mouth to mine, kissing me as if I’m her everything, and together we can be whole. And I wonder if we can be.
As if she’s reading my mind, she murmurs against my lips, “Do you think people get second chances for happiness?”
“I don’t know, but the only happiness I’ve felt in over ten years has been with you.”
“Me, too, Beckett.” She resumes kissing me.
I want to ask her if she believes in redemption before the act. If you clear your debt before the sin, does it still count? Can you ever erase standing at the gates of hell, choosing to go in, then somehow find your way back?
But I don’t. Any chance I have of keeping Mia as mine involves not dying and somehow not getting caught. And she can never know what I’m truly capable of.