Japan, Present Day
I choked back tears and looked at nothing. To give her daughter up after all that. How could Naoko stand it? I wiped the moisture from under my eyes, trying to regain my composure, but the slight wobble in my voice gave my emotion away. “I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard that was.”
Her brows lowered over tear-filled eyes. “While I have no regrets in loving your father or our daughter, that love carried a lifetime of consequence. And after?” She looked away. “After, I couldn’t bear it. It was an impossible darkness, so I tried to drown my sorrow in the river of three crossings.”
I covered my mouth with my hands, scared of what she would say.
“But the pain I’d cause Kenji with another loss outweighed the rocks I’d placed in my suitcase. How could I cause him more pain? And I had made a pact with Jin and Hatsu, so I untangled the rope of clothing from around my waist and sat on the shore, measuring the sins of Housemother Sato against my own. I decided my life sentence of punishment was to ensure Housemother received hers.”
It took everything not to reach over and squeeze her hand. “Did she?”
“The abbot kept his word and informed the authorities. They, in turn, came to me. Housemother was arrested, tried and found guilty.” Naoko’s shoulders fell. “Although she served only four years.”
“Four?” I creased my brows and shook my head. “That’s it?”
“Yes, but they closed the maternity home. So, you see? The abbot was correct with his starfish story. While Sora and I could not save them all, our efforts made a difference to that one, and to that one.”
“And to me,” I whispered, because she had given my sister up. I sat with Naoko’s words, acquainting myself to their truth. My heart ached for her, for them all, but it also lifted with hope. My sister was still out there, somewhere.
As a journalist, research was my backbone. With renewed purpose, I fired off questions. “Do you know where Brother Daigan took her? What adoption agencies he worked through? Did she end up at that home? If she stayed in Japan or ended up in the States or if they registered a name?”
“A name?” Naoko’s eyes widened. “To me, she is only Little Bird. With that name, I set her free. And by sharing my story, I had hoped to set you, Hajime’s daughter, free, as well.” Her chin dipped, her brows furrowed.
I sensed she wanted me to leave it alone, but I was so close to finding my sister. I’d come all this way. “I know I can find her, Naoko.” I knew who to call and how to search. “Maybe I don’t have her name, but you gave me Brother Daigan’s and the home in Oiso.” My heart pounded my ribs. “Is there anything else you can share that might help me find her? Anything at all?”
“No.” She shook her head. She took my hands in hers, squeezed, then turned my hands palms up. “I’ve given you our story, and the story of our Little Bird. Now what you do with it is in your hands.”
She let go and I held my hands suspended in front of me a moment, then clasped them together and brought them to my heart. She had given me her most precious gift, so I needed to return a gift just as precious that was never really mine.
I untied my mother’s scarf from around my neck. Every thread held a memory. Sunday drives, silly sing-alongs, blond hair tousled by the wind. But knowing the threads ran through Naoko’s memories first, I held it out. “I believe this is yours. Pops said he meant to give it to me, but my mom found it and, well, what was he gonna say?” I smiled with a one-shoulder shrug. “He gave it to me before he died, telling me it was important.” I held it out. “Now I understand all the reasons why.”
Naoko ran her fingers over the beautiful silk but didn’t take it. “With its return, you’ve helped Hajime keep his promise.” Her gaze met mine. “May I now ask you to promise me something in return?”
“Of course, anything.”
“If you find my Little Bird, you will give her this scarf. Tell her it has passed between fathers and daughters and husbands and wives and traveled the great ocean twice. That it carries not only expectations, but all of our love.” Her eyes glistened with a tight-lipped smile.
I promised.
“Naoko?” An elderly man in tan trousers and a blue pin-striped shirt peered out from the house.
“Oh, my husband,” Naoko said, rocking forward to stand. “He’s here to escort me home.”
I tilted my head in curiosity, then rose.
He strolled through the patio door, caught sight of us and continued in our direction. The lightest of gray fuzz slicked back over the top of his head. His sharp, square jaw touted the same gray in an unshaven shadow. And like Naoko, he exuded an understated sophistication in presence and manners.
He offered a small bow.
I wasn’t sure what to say since we hadn’t spoken of him at all. Embarrassed, I simply returned the gesture.
“Forgive me, but your eyes.” His smile lengthened, his chin dipped. “I haven’t seen eyes so blue since the famous movie star Marylin Monroe honeymooned in Tokyo. And I’m afraid, like hers, they’ve hypnotized me.”
My heart leaped to my throat. Those were the same words said to Naoko in her story. Was it him? The pressure shot the words like a cannon. “You’re Satoshi?” Maybe we had spoken of her husband, after all. Many times. Of course it was him. The way he stood—tall and strong. The way he spoke—thoughtful and measured.
When he didn’t respond, I sensed my mistake. “I’m so sorry. I just assumed because of the stories that you were the boy she spoke about.” My cheeks warmed, and I knew they had flushed red.
He laughed, full and rich, then touched my shoulder. “Please, I’m honored for such an enthusiastic greeting.”
“And I’m extremely embarrassed.” I looked at my feet with a small, apologetic smile.
“I am the one embarrassed,” Naoko said to ease the awkwardness. “For I spoke with such detail, you of course knew him at once. Please allow me to officially present my husband, Satoshi Tanaka.”
“It is you.” I beamed. The inner light lifted my smile. “And I’m so glad it is. I am.” I nodded, looking at them together. Naoko married Satoshi. This was right. I couldn’t stop my grin.
He bowed, still smiling. “I only hope to live up to such an introduction.”
“You have. Absolutely.”
“And this, Satoshi, is my new treasured friend, Miss Kovač. Tori Kovač.”
“Tori?” His smile softened. Satoshi turned toward Naoko and a shared glance lingered between them. An entire conversation without words.
For the first time, I wished for a translator.
“Well, I won’t keep you any longer.” I took a step, but hesitated. “Naoko, if I find anything...” I wasn’t sure how much to say in front of Satoshi. “I mean, do you want me to contact you? Would you want to know whatever I learn?”
A silence fell between us.
“I’ve met you, Tori Kovač, and what I want, what I hope, is for you to finally make peace with your father’s past. Know that by meeting you, learning your name, you have allowed peace in mine.” With that she stepped back and bowed from her waist.
I wanted to hug her. Hug them both. But I bowed in turn, then held up the scarf, to say, I wouldn’t forget, thank you, a million unspoken things.
Satoshi and I exchanged warm smiles, then with a slight bow of the chin, I turned to go. As I approached the road, I spun back a last time.
Naoko’s family house on the hill was surrounded by blooms of white. This is where my father met for tea with a king of an empire, dreamed a different life and fought against heaven’s wishes.
I’d probably never be back to see Naoko or Satoshi, but I’d never forget either one. With Naoko’s scarf, I carried their story—our story—forward with hope and love.
My flight didn’t leave until morning, but I could catch a later one if needed. I refused to leave without visiting the monastery and inquiring of Brother Daigan and the orphanage.