4

THE EXCELLENT WIFE AT WORK

In recent years many books have been published on feminism and the woman’s liberation movement. One in particular, A Lesser Life: The Myth of Women’s Liberation in America, written by economist Sylvia Ann Hewlett, who might be better described as a new feminist, essentially laments the lack of public and government support systems for working women. In her section titled “The Aberrant Fifties” she wrote:

In May 1983 I interviewed Faith Whittlesey at the White House. At that time she was assistant to the President for public liaison and dealt with policies toward women and children. I told her of my concern for working mothers in this country and explained in vivid detail how very hard it was for them to deal with childbirth and child care in the absence of family support policies. Whittlesey listened carefully and tried to respond. She told me that Ronald Reagan was tremendously concerned about the care and nurturing of children and that he did in fact have a policy in this area. The policy was to lick inflation and encourage the economy to grow so that men could once more earn a family wage. A little puzzled, I asked her how she thought this would help. “Oh,” said Whittlesey, smiling, “the rest is easy. Once men earn a family wage, all those women can go home and look after their own children in the way they did when I was growing up.” Everything, it seems, would be solved if we returned to the good old days of the fifties, when moms were homemakers and dads were stalwart breadwinners.1

Whittlesey was right—although I doubt we will ever see our society or government ever embrace again what feminists, economists, and think-tank experts call an aberrant period in our nation’s history.

To help her readers gain a better understanding of the ’50s, Hewlett explained how this “aberrant” period came to be.2 Let’s examine her account.

The Rise and Fall of the Traditional Family

Throughout the second half of the nineteenth century, Europe envied the advances made by women in the United States. Even in the first third of the twentieth century, US women made rapid strides. They acquired the vote earlier than women did in Britain, France, Italy, and Switzerland. Economic expansion and access to higher education offered women further opportunities for employment. Even divorce and contraception became widespread. By the end of the ’30s, American women held a vast lead over their European counterparts.

As the Second World War broke out, a great need arose for women to take over the jobs American servicemen left behind. As a result, almost five million additional women entered the work force during that period. By 1945, American women were more powerful than ever before in our nation’s history. But something happened.

Our government faced a problem of monumental proportions in 1945. After enduring ten years of a depression and five more of a devastating war, Americans wanted a return to normal life. But there was a great fear that jobs would be scarce for the returning servicemen. So women were encouraged to return to their homes through a series of governmental and economic actions. Some were reactive: Women were laid off from jobs at double the rate of men, and government-sponsored child-care programs were shut down. But others were proactive and had the most pronounced effect, such as the GI Bill and the Highway Act. Hewlett explained the impact of these two pieces of legislation:

The GI Bill … provided 14 million returning veterans with free college tuition, subsistence allowances (which were increased by 50 percent if one had dependents), and extremely low-cost mortgages (guaranteed loans for thirty years at 3 to 4 percent interest); while the Highway Act of 1944 pumped $1.3 billion of public money into a road network around and between cities.…

Through the GI Bill men … acquired a head start in the job market and were able to become good providers. It made little sense for couples to invest in the skills of a wife since she couldn’t compete with all this free training. Secondly, since dependents were at least partially supported through the provisions of the GI Bill, this legislation encouraged early marriage and procreation. Why not avail yourself of free income? Finally, the roads provided by the Highway Act and the cheap financing provided by the low-cost mortgages of the GI Bill extended the possibility of living in a house in the suburbs to millions of young American couples.3

What was the result? Between 1945 and 1955 the American Gross National Product more than doubled. Women got married at an earlier age. The birthrate rose so that by the end of the ’50s the rate of population growth was double that of Europe. Even the divorce rate fell. Yet by the end of the decade, the American family was poised at the edge of cliff, ready to plunge in a free fall that has lasted over forty years.

Fueled by an ever-increasing opportunity to acquire the good life, the ’50s male breadwinner got caught up in the race to get ahead. But he wound up burned out from his job and isolated from his wife and children.

The ’50s homemaker had to be the perfect wife, mother, and housekeeper. She was expected to have the sole responsibility of raising the children in an age of new permissive theories on how to do it, handed down from Freud to Spock. She also became enamored with the need to have a better lifestyle. So when her husband couldn’t make enough to fund their materialistic dreams, she went to work.

As both men and women became more dissatisfied with their lot in life, feminism launched its attack on the family in the early ’60s. Husbands and wives, frustrated by their lack of involvement in each other’s lives, began to divorce in record numbers. Between 1965 and 1975, the divorce rate doubled. And children, victims of permissive childrearing practices and seeing through the facade of their parents’ empty pursuits, rebelled, turning to drugs and the counterculture to fill their emptiness.

Hewlett’s assessment is sadly wrong. The family of the ’50s failed not because women left the work force and what they had and could achieve to become homemakers (as feminists would have you believe); it failed because people are sinners who want to please themselves. You can’t blame the traditional family for that. What went wrong with the American family? Why, when it had it so good, did it self-destruct? Is there something wrong with the biblical pattern for the family? The American family shattered for the simple reason that it was American, not biblical. The ’50s established a family arrangement that only happened to follow the biblical pattern but actually was completely secular in its focus.

As we learned in the previous chapter, any family or society can benefit from biblical principles, and many did to such an extent that a majority of those who lived in those days long for a return to them. Ultimately though, only those who by faith in Christ have made Him the center of their families can realize the full and lasting power of those principles.

The need has never been more important. The makeup of the family is far different than it was sixty years ago. According to TIME, “68% of women with children under 18 are in the work force (in contrast to 28% in 1960).”4 Megatrends for Women reports that the traditional family with husband as breadwinner, homemaker wife, and children now accounts for only 10 percent of families. In 1970, 40 percent of households were married couples with children under eighteen. By 1991 that fell to 26 percent. In the 1990s, 53 percent of women with infants were working. Those trends have continued to grow. Today, women make up half the work force, and more than 80 percent of women age 25 to 54 work.5 If we give it enough time, it seems no one will be home!

Christians, therefore, have a great opportunity to model the family ideal for our society in a day when people face so many options. The apostle Paul was continually concerned that believers present a clear testimony to the pagan society, and in his epistle to Titus he focused on character qualities that should be true of believers in the church (Titus 2:1–10). We will be looking at that section in its entirety in a later chapter, but it is important that we examine one directive in particular: Paul’s command to the older women to instruct the young women to be “workers at home” (v. 5).

Home Is Where the Heart Is

The phrase “workers at home” is translated from the compound Greek word oikourgos, which is derived from oikos (house) and a form of ergon (work). Ergon does not simply refer to labor in general; it often refers to a particular job or employment. It is the word Jesus used when He said, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to accomplish His work” (John 4:34). Our Lord focused His entire life on fulfilling God’s will. In a similar fashion, a wife is to focus her life on the home. God has designed the family to be her sphere of responsibility. That doesn’t mean she should spend twenty-four hours a day there, however. The woman in Proverbs 31 left her home when she needed to buy a field or when she needed supplies, yet even those trips benefited her family. She poured her life into her family—she woke up early and went to bed late for the sake of those in it.

Notice that Paul didn’t make any effort to elaborate on what he meant by “workers at home.” That’s because his readers were completely familiar with the term. The Mishna, an ancient codification of Jewish law and tradition, gives us some insight into what life was like for a wife in Paul’s day. She was expected to grind flour, bake, launder, cook, nurse her children, make the beds, spin wool, prepare the children for school, and accompany them to school to ensure their arrival. While many women worked with their husbands in the field or in a trade, the husband still held the responsibility to provide food and clothing. If any women worked apart from their husbands in the marketplace or at a trade, they were considered a disgrace. A wife could, however, work at crafts or horticulture in the home and sell the fruits of her labor. Profits from her endeavors could then be used either to supplement her husband’s income or provide her with some spending money. In addition to household work, wives were responsible for hospitality and the care of guests, and to be active in charitable work. The Jewish laws were clear: The woman’s priority was in the home. She was to take care of all the needs of her home, her children, her husband, strangers, the poor and needy, and guests. The wife who faithfully discharged her responsibilities was held in high regard in her family, in the synagogue, and in the community.

That the New Testament required such a lifestyle for women is clear from the demands of 1 Timothy 5:9–10, 14: The wife of one man, having a reputation for good works, brought up children, showed hospitality to strangers, washed the saints’ feet, assisted those in distress, devoted herself to every good work, kept house, and gave the enemy no occasion for reproach.

Today we have many conveniences in the home that ancient people didn’t have. We don’t have to grind our own grain, make our own fabric, or go to a river to wash our clothes. That means keepers at home have more discretionary time now than before, so they need to be careful to use that time discreetly. There may be things they can do that will benefit the home, that will assist others, or that may even be enterprising like the Proverbs 31 woman and bring in some income. But the home is to remain the priority.

I certainly believe the value of this work has been severely underestimated over the years—mainly because of the feminist movement. One young husband and father who was obligated to serve a brief stint in caring for the home learned to appreciate his wife’s responsibilities:

I never realized how much work it takes to keep a house running. The first few weeks at home, I was amazed to find that shopping, cooking and cleaning up for three meals could take the whole day. But the household chores have been the easy part. The heavier burden—by far—has been entertaining, educating and disciplining my son.… “Quality time” is a myth. If I want a relationship with Derek, I have to put in the hours. If I don’t, I miss out on my son’s life.… One of the most demanding jobs in the world is also one of the most rewarding.6

I can appreciate what that man is saying. When my wife broke her neck in a serious auto accident a number of years ago, I suddenly needed to do for her much of what she had been doing for me over the years. We didn’t have any young children at home, so things were much easier than they could have been. Nevertheless, I was impressed—and almost overwhelmed sometimes—by the tremendous responsibilities of a diligent “worker at home.”

It may surprise you, but the saying “A woman’s place is in the home” has never sounded quite right to me. Rather, what the Bible is saying is a woman’s responsibility is in the home. There’s no virtue in just staying home; what’s important is what you do when you’re there. Just because a mother stays home doesn’t mean she is spiritual. If she spends a hefty portion of her day watching soap operas or engaging in other profitless ventures, her influence could be as bad as that of a mother who works outside the home to the neglect of her children.

For a mother to get a job outside the home and put her children in day care is to misunderstand her husband’s role as provider as well as her own duty to the family. Don’t be tempted to work outside the home to pay for your children to go to a Christian school, for example. Better to stay in the home and raise your children to be godly rather than pass on that responsibility. The woman who raises a godly generation is making the greatest impact a woman can make on the world. No Christian school can ever match that. God has made clear through His Word that both parents have a great responsibility to pass on His truth to their children daily (Deut. 6:6–9; Prov. 6:20).

I realize that some mothers face difficulties that force them to work. In this age of economic insecurity, husbands are subject to layoffs and are unable to provide for their families for a period of time. There is also the tragedy of divorce and single mothers must become the provider. Unfortunately the greater majority of women choose to work outside the home for selfish reasons. Some have bought the lie that personal fulfillment comes from pursuing a career, not meeting the needs of their loved ones. Others work so they can earn extra income to increase their standard of living, and their husbands give hearty approval if not a downright mandate. To see mothers abandoning their three- and four-month-old babies to babysitters to do so flies in the face of God’s design for wives and mothers.

If you cannot maintain a standard of living that allows you to fulfill your role consistent with God’s design, you ought to reconsider carefully whether your standard is acceptable to God. It is better to learn to live with less, making whatever adjustments are necessary, such as renting a home instead of buying one. Don’t presume that the economic benefits from having two incomes are God’s blessing.

When women remove themselves from the sphere God has designed for them, they become subject to an environment fraught with difficulty. Two Christian women warn of a potential danger:

Statistics show significantly more working women than stay-at-home moms become involved in extramarital affairs.… Why are we so vulnerable? One reason is simply exposure.… Another factor is professional intimacy.… Then there’s emotional need.…

If we are married to men who don’t appreciate our professional interests or contributions, we may find ourselves attracted to the men at work who do. If we feel overwhelmed by the incredible responsibilities at home and at work, we may be all the more ready to exchange our grown-up burdens for the kind of romantic rush and blush we felt when we were 16.… Men and women in the workplace also invest the best hours of their day on the job. We’re at our wittiest and our prettiest.7

Titus 2:5 says instead for wives to be “subject to their own husbands” (cf. Eph. 5:22). I’m concerned about women who get under powerful male-dominated environments because women can be easily abused. I’m therefore not surprised by the recent hue and cry of sexual harassment. Realistically speaking, most women at work are exposed to innuendo at best and sexual involvement at worst. The following warnings to Christian working women point to the problem:

The best option simply is to avoid entanglements from the start …

• Arrange accountability to friends or to a spouse before a problem arises

• Verbally practice saying “No” long before the opportunity arises

• Avoid fantasies …

• Avoid frequent time alone with any male coworker

• Avoid intimate or “What if …” conversations with male friends

Seek … help for obvious … “voids” in your marriage.

• Maintain a vibrant relationship with God as well as consistent fellowship with other believers. Above all, recognize that no one is immune to an affair—so stay on guard.8

God has designed women with a need for the protection that a godly husband and home provides. Men, it’s up to us to take the lead in providing a haven for our wives so we are giving them the opportunity to provide a haven for us and for our children.

Certainly women with grown children or no children have a certain freedom in applying the “keepers at home” priority. But be selective and make wise decisions in what you choose to do outside the home so you won’t compromise your priority to preserve your home as a haven for your husband and as a place of hospitality for others. I think it’s especially wonderful when women choose to work in Christian ministry, such as teaching little ones in school, being involved in missions, or ministering to people in a jail or hospital setting. In pursuing ventures outside the home, go before the Lord and your husband, and decide jointly how to do only that which will enhance and enrich your home life and accomplish spiritual goals.

The Excellent Wife

No other passage of Scripture gives us the model of the “worker at home” better than Proverbs 31. Here we see more than a wife in the role of a homemaker. We see her as the complete woman God designed her to be.

King Lemuel, the author of Proverbs 31, relates to us the wisdom he received from his mother on how to choose a wife. Verses 10–31 describe no specific woman, but they reveal the qualities and characteristics that every woman should seek to emulate.

The king wrote, “An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.” The word translated “excellent” in the Hebrew text means “force” or “strength.” Here it refers to the wife as a woman of strength—strong spiritually, morally, mentally, and physically. This woman makes a difference in society. And she is priceless: “Her worth is far above jewels” means she is more valuable than earthly things.

Typically men seek a wife for all the wrong reasons: looks, accomplishments, style, success, money, or education. They ought to look for a woman with virtue, strength of character, spiritual excellence, and internal godliness. Six specific qualities characterize the excellent wife.

Her Character as a Wife

King Lemuel related her husband’s perspective: “The heart of her husband trusts in her” (v. 11). This husband sees his wife as trustworthy, which allows him to work away from home, confident in her faithfulness, integrity, discretion, and care for all his interests. The context implies that she is responsible for a substantial home with abundant resources. Yet her husband is not at all anxious about leaving her with such a responsibility because he knows that his well-being is her concern, his comfort her passion, and his burdens hers to relieve.

As a result, “he will have no lack of gain” (v. 11) due to her careful stewardship. As both a wise and scrupulous ruler of the house, she manages the assets and coordinates all activities. Her ability to handle all domestic matters frees him to be devoted to his work.

On the personal side, “She does him good and not evil all the days of her life” (v. 12). With her husband’s best interests at heart, she does everything she can to strengthen and encourage him. His money, possessions, and resources are safe with her. She never speaks evil of him or defames his character in public or in the privacy of their family. And that is her behavior “all the days of her life.” Her love for him and devotion to the home don’t fluctuate with the changing circumstances of life. When you got married, you no doubt affirmed the vow to live together in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, in plenty and in want, and that’s a vow this woman kept for life. The purity and power of her devotion never changes. His comfort, success, reputation, and joy are always her delight. The husband reaps the benefit of such faithfulness: “Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land” (v. 23). That means he is esteemed and respected by his peers, in part because she created a world for him in which he could be everything God wanted him to be. Her life can best be described as selfless—her husband’s good consumes her. That’s why she loves to serve him.

Her Devotion as a Homemaker

The first specific characteristic of this enterprising woman’s homemaking abilities is in verse 13: “She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight.” Clothing her family is one of her first priorities. Looking for, rather than simply using, wool and flax means that she searched for quality products. Wool was used for making clothing for the colder seasons of the year; flax was used for linen, which was lighter and more appropriate for the warmer seasons. Flax was especially beneficial for making beautiful clothing. For her, making clothes for her husband and children was a joy.

Verse 14 describes the extent of her forays to find the right food for her family: “She is like merchant ships; she brings her food from afar.” Continual trips to the local market for the standard fare was not her practice; she would travel distances to obtain the best food at the best price. She didn’t just slap together whatever she had; she wanted to provide what she thought her family would enjoy. That required good planning and good management.

I’m not sure how much sleep this kind of woman gets, because verse 15 says, “She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens.” Typically people in those days would keep one small lamp burning through the night. Since the lamp held a small amount of oil, someone had to wake up during the night and add more oil to keep the lamp burning. This wife assumed that responsibility so her family could sleep. Then after filling the lamp, she didn’t go back to bed; she stayed up to begin preparing the meals for that day! Once again we see her make a great sacrifice on behalf of her family.

The phrase “portions to her maidens” probably refers to portions of work, not food. This industrious wife not only began her own work at such an early hour but also apportioned different tasks to the maidens who were servants in the household. She demonstrated leadership.

Feminists and others who claim that the role of a homemaker is demeaning to women don’t understand Proverbs 31. A homemaker has to combine elements of an economist, administrator, and business manager to analyze available products, exercise wisdom and foresight to make intelligent purchases, and assign tasks to her household labor force. At the same time she has to fulfill her responsibilities as a wife to her husband and provide tender, loving care to all her children.

Beyond all those duties, the excellent wife is also an entrepreneur: “She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard” (v. 16). Her husband didn’t give her the money to buy the field; she bought it and planted the vineyard with her earnings. Verse 24 describes the source of these earnings: “She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesmen.” In addition to her family and household responsibilities, she earned extra money for herself by making and selling a useful product. Notice, however, that she did not mix her money with the household cash flow—she put it aside until the right opportunity came along.

Any woman who can fill all these roles must have tremendous energy: “She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong” (v. 17). “She girds herself with strength” could be translated “strength is wrapped around her.” She is a strong woman in terms of self-discipline, commitment to her family, and love for her husband. “Her arms [are] strong” refers to her physical strength, which is a result of her daily labor.

Motivation is a key element in any task, and this woman was highly motivated. Verse 18 says, “She senses that her gain is good.” Having bought the field and planted the vineyard, she realized not just a financial profit, but spiritual blessing in seeing her family prosper from her labor. As a result, “her lamp does not go out at night” (v. 18). So fulfilled in seeing others benefit from her work, she is driven to work harder, even if it means staying awake all night to accomplish another task.

Perhaps it is on such nights that “she stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hands grasp the spindle” (v. 19). Those are aspects of spinning, when she would actually turn the wool and the flax into thread. She may have had to make clothes for her family in the middle of the night because she was so busy during the day.

“She is not afraid of the snow for her household” (v. 21) means she was well prepared for the winter, sewing well into the night to be sure her family had enough warm blankets for the night and warm clothes for the cold days. But she didn’t settle just for functional clothes; she wanted her family to look good: “for all her household are clothed with scarlet” (v. 21). She actually dyed the wool to give it some beauty.

There is one respect in which this woman does think of herself: “She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple” (v. 22). Grateful for the external beauty with which God has blessed her, she dresses in such a way that will show off her beauty to her husband. She doesn’t overdo it with silk and gold and pearls. Instead she chooses linen, which wasn’t a particularly expensive cloth. But we know it was the best she could make because of the care she took in choosing the best flax. And the beauty of the color purple would enhance her own beauty. Thus she avoids the extreme of ostentatious display by choosing graceful simplicity. That is characteristic of every decision she makes because her goal is the well-being of her husband and children.

Her Generosity as a Neighbor

“She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy” (v. 20). Based on what we’ve learned about this woman so far, we would expect nothing less. As devoted and loving as she is toward her own family, she does not neglect others. She demonstrates her compassion to the poor by becoming personally involved in their distress. She extends her hand—she touches them where they hurt, no doubt providing food and clothing.

The idea of extending her hand probably means that the poor approached her about their need, whereas stretching out her hands implies that she reached out to those who were too proud or embarrassed to express their need. While she may be focused on her family, she is not myopic.

Her Influence as a Teacher

Teaching begins with character: “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future” (v. 25). “Strength” describes her spiritual character, while “dignity” defines the quality of her life. Both are foundational to her integrity as a teacher. She is truly spiritual—if she wasn’t, her children wouldn’t listen to her or obey her instruction. It is imperative for those who teach to live out what they teach; otherwise they are just purveyors of hypocrisy.

The fact that “she smiles at the future” means she doesn’t fear it because she knows all things are in God’s hands. We’ve seen how well prepared she is: All will be well in the future for her because she’s right with God. All will be well in the future for her household because she has kept it in order. All will be well in the future for her children because she has been consistently raising them “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). And all will be well in the future for her husband because her commitment to manage the home has given him the opportunity to be a man of God.

After character comes instruction: “She opens her mouth in wisdom” (Prov. 31:26). Scripture calls the father to be the teacher, the family priest, in the home. But that does not preclude the reality that the mother will daily apply the truth of life to her children. Proverbs 6:20 says, “Do not forsake the teaching of your mother.”

Her dominant attitude when she teaches is loving-kindness: “The teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (Prov. 31:26). With gracious and kind words, she edifies and ministers grace to her hearers (Eph. 4:29).

Her Effectiveness as a Mother

Proverbs 31:27 sums up her leadership in the house: “She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” In exercising constant and excellent surveillance over the entire household, she never succumbs to the temptations of laziness. Instead she realizes that true fulfillment can come only from a supreme effort.

The old saying is true: What goes around comes around. If you mothers will invest your lives in your children in the first half of your life, you’ll reap the dividends in the second half. The excellent wife and mother raises her children with godly wisdom and great love and care. Once her children are old enough to be on their own, they will spend the remainder of their years blessing the woman who gave up her life for them. That’s God’s design. The compensation for old age is the devotion of one’s children. You receive the return on your investment through the blessing your children are to you when they are adults.

There’s another benefit: When your children become parents, they’ll follow your pattern in raising their children. That’s why tender guidance, wise counsel, loving discipline, holy example, hard work, and unselfish giving are such vital characteristics in parenting. They’ll provide constant guidance to your children as they try to emulate them before their own children.

There is one more dividend yet for the excellent wife: “Her husband … [blesses her], and he praises her, saying: ‘Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all’” (Prov. 31:28–29). When a husband tells his wife that she’s the best of all women, that’s her ultimate reward from him.

Her Excellence as a Person

Her excellence as a person starts with the spiritual dimension, but first comes a warning: “Charm is deceitful” (v. 30). That refers to bodily form, and that is deceitful. Women who spend hours trying to improve their external looks miss out on what has lasting value: “A woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates” (vv. 30–31). King Lemuel’s mother’s ideal for the excellent wife is wrapped up in those two verses. When a man can share his life with a woman who fears and loves God, he’s in the best of circumstances. And if he thinks she is beautiful at first, she’ll become more beautiful to him with every passing year.

Catharine Beecher was the oldest child of a famous family in American history. One of her younger sisters was novelist Harriet Beecher Stowe, author of Uncle Tom’s Cabin. Both grew up having a great love for children, finding joy in the duties of raising and caring for them. At the age of twenty-three, Catharine founded the Hartford Female Seminary. Its purpose was to train women to be lovers of their husbands and children and keepers of the home. She and Harriet founded another seminary a few years later in Cincinnati, Ohio. In 1869 they wrote the book The American Woman’s Home. In it they stated,

Woman’s profession embraces the care and nursing of the body in the critical periods of infancy and sickness, the training of the human mind in the most impressionable period of childhood … and most of the government and economies of the family state. These duties of woman are as sacred and important as any ordained to man; and yet no such advantages for preparation have been accorded her, nor is there any qualified body to certify the public that a woman is duly prepared to give proper instruction in her profession.9

It was their desire in founding the two schools to train women “not only to perform in the most approved manner all the manual employments of domestic life, but to honor and enjoy these duties.”10 That noble work is not emphasized or appreciated anywhere near to the degree it should be. That will turn around when single and married men and women embrace, instead of chafe against, God’s ideal of young women being “workers at home” (Titus 2:5), joyfully making whatever sacrifices are necessary at the appropriate time in their lives, encouraging others to do the same.

Notes

1 Sylvia Ann Hewlett, A Lesser Life (New York: William Morrow and Co., 1986), 231.

2 Ibid., 231–52.

3 Ibid., 243.

4 Wallis, “Onward, Women!” TIME, December 4, 1989, 85.

5 Aburdene and Naisbitt, Megatrends for Women, 238–39.

6 Rholan Wong, “Full-Time Fatherhood: Hardest Job of All,” Los Angeles Times, September 6, 1992, E6.

7 Linda Holland and Karen Linamen, “Occupational Hazards,” Today’s Christian Woman, March–April 1991, 54–55.

8 Ibid., 56.

9 Catharine Beecher and Harriet Beecher Stowe, The American Woman’s Home (New York: J. B. Ford and Co., 1869), 14.

10 Ibid., 14–15.