5

A DIFFERENT PLACE IN GOD’S PLAN

Chapter Theme

God’s ideal for marriage is foreign to many people in the church. But God has left us with encouragement and instruction from His Word.

Icebreakers

• Christians who are married to unbelievers face a difficult life that few of us can relate to. If you are married to an unbeliever, how do you live out your faith? If you know someone who is in that situation, what do you do to offer encouragement?

• Widows, divorcees, and single people are often ignored in many churches. If you are one of that number, how do you handle that kind of treatment? Do you secretly wish you had a different marital status? Why?

Group Discovery Questions

1. What does Paul counsel a Christian not to do if he or she is married to an unbeliever?

2. How can a believer sanctify a home?

3. What are some things that a Christian wife can do that could help lead her unbelieving husband to Christ?

4. What are some things that a Christian husband can do that could lead his unbelieving wife to embrace Christ?

5. Who would qualify as a widow in the biblical sense?

6. How can the church decide which widows should receive financial support?

7. Who has the primary responsibility for caring for widows?

8. What qualities ought to characterize those widows who wish to serve the church in an official capacity?

9. How should the church encourage younger widows?

10. Describe the gift of singleness as Paul explained it.

11. What can single people do to control their desires if they do not have the gift of singleness?

12. What are some of the advantages of being single?

Personal Application Questions

1. The wife is to be submissive, faithful, and modest toward her husband; and the husband is to show consideration, chivalry, and companionship toward his wife. Answer the following practical questions as a way of measuring those virtues in your life:

• Are you faithful to maintain your spiritual life through Bible study, prayer, regular church attendance, and fellowship with God’s people?

• Do you ask forgiveness when you have done something wrong?

• Do you accept corrective criticisms graciously?

• Do you make excessive demands on your mate, expecting too much from him or her?

• Do you allow your spouse to make mistakes without condemning him or her?

• Do you focus on what you appreciate about your mate, or do you tend to find fault with him or her?

• When you disagree with your mate, do you seek biblical answers for the problem instead of blowing up emotionally or verbally attacking your mate?

• Are you a good listener when your mate tries to explain something?

If you’ve spotted some problems in your life, prayerfully seek to make the necessary corrections. To help you in your resolve, seek the counsel and accountability of a godly friend who is a fellow wife or husband.

2. Does your church have a ministry to widows? Is it fulfilling its biblical responsibility to care for the godly women in its midst who have no means of support? If not, would you be instrumental in praying with your pastor about such a ministry and helping to initiate it? As a preventative measure against the church being overburdened, consider having a financial planner or tax adviser give a seminar to your church members on how they can prepare for the premature death of a breadwinner and for their retirement years.

3. The apostle Paul was convinced that, because of conflict with the world system, single believers should seriously consider the possibility of remaining as they are. Are you presently struggling with your singleness? If you are, would you seriously consider Paul’s advice? Ask God to confirm in your heart whether He would rather you be single or married.

Focus on Prayer

Prayerfully consider the verses below and allow God to give you an awareness of others’ needs and an increasing desire to help them:

• Romans 13:8—“Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.”

• Galatians 5:14—“The whole Law is fulfilled in … the statement, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”

• 1 John 3:11, 16–17—“For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.… We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?”

Assignment

True religion involves visiting “widows in their distress” (James 1:27). Visiting speaks of caring for needy women and their children, and distress refers to anything that burdens or pressures the spirit. Practical deeds of love can help relieve their pressures and burdens. Helping them around the house or taking them with you on trips are simple but important ways to uplift them. Create a list of ways you can serve. Then begin to do the actions on your list.