HOW could a man who worked on cars for a living smell so good? Instead of a scented cloud of motor oil, she’d detected hints of Irish Spring soap and cinnamon gum. It had taken all Sarah’s efforts not to press her nose to his neck and inhale with greedy zeal. Maybe she’d knocked her head on something during the ditch dive.
She ran her fingers over her scalp, searching for bumps. There wasn’t anything out of the ordinary besides messy hair. That was the least of her worries right now. Sarah rolled her neck and shoulders with a wince. They were sore from bracing for impact and would probably feel worse tomorrow. She hoped some aspirin and a hot bath would go a long way in easing her aches.
Sarah peeked over her shoulder and watched Josh push and pull on some levers on the back of the truck. It would probably be better for her peace of mind not to stare at him. Seeing him bend and flex while he worked was giving her ideas…none of them good. It wasn’t right that the man could still fill out a pair of jeans in a way that made her shiver. Why couldn’t he have on a grungy old pair of coveralls?
Josh adjusted the hook so he could rescue her poor car. From what she could see, the left headlight was smashed. There were no signs of collision to the doors so they should have opened. Maybe the safety locks engaged on impact? She’d find out soon enough.
She tried to console herself that it could have been worse. If she’d run over the deer, Sarah would’ve had the death of Bambi on her conscience. Not to mention the extra damage Bambi-cide could have done to her car. The near miss meant her Mini Cooper might still be easily fixed. She was determined to be optimistic about something tonight, even if it was a longshot.
Aiming for a distraction, Sarah searched through her bottomless purse for her phone. Mom would have expected her a half hour ago and would be worried sick if Sarah didn’t let her know why she’d be late getting home.
When Josh yanked open the door and climbed back in, he checked a few more switches on the dashboard and buckled up. If he noticed her groping fruitlessly through her bag, he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he put the truck in drive and watched the rearview mirror while he slowly tugged her car out of the ditch.
“I was meanin’ to ask, Sarah, how did you end up in a ditch anyway? There’s nothin’ out here.”
“I was playing chicken with a deer. He won. Have you seen my phone?” She’d only managed to locate two missing tubes of cherry Chapstick and an old receipt for coffee.
Josh glanced over at the purse on her lap. “No. Why? Who do you need to call?”
It was none of his damned business. “My mom.”
“Your mom?”
“Everyone has one. I moved in with her a few years back when Dad passed away.”
“So you take care of her?”
“I did at first. Mom does most things for herself now.”
“You’re a good daughter.”
Moving in hadn’t been that much of a sacrifice. Her ex-husband, Richard, had gotten their house in the divorce. Taking care of her mom was only right since she was living there.
“She’s a good mom. Do you have a phone I could use? I want to let her know I’m okay.”
“No problem.” Josh fished his cell phone out of his console. Instead of handing it over, he touched in some numbers and held the phone to his ear. Sarah heard her mom’s raspy voice carry in a worried flurry of words.
He gave Sarah a sidelong glance as he answered, “Mrs. Brandon? I’m sorry, I mean, Lucy? It’s Josh.”
He’s on a first-name basis with my mother?
“No, ma’am, Sarah’s fine. Had a little fender bender is all. I have her with me.”
That must have calmed Lucy since the decibel level lowered to the point that Sarah couldn’t overhear her side of the conversation.
“No, ma’am. She didn’t get hurt, but I have to tow her vehicle to the garage.” There was a brief pause before he continued. “You go on and get some rest now. I’ll take her home.” His indulgent smile was a quick flash of white in the darkness. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll do my best.” Josh’s smile broadened into a full blown grin. “Yes, ma’am. You too.”
You too?
He thumbed the End button and turned to her. “All set. What do you say we get outta here?”
“Why do you have my mom’s phone number?”
Josh rubbed the back of his neck one-handed and stepped on the gas. “Well, speakin’ of doin’ things herself, your mama’s been to the garage a few times to get her oil changed.”
“What do you mean she’s been to the garage? Your garage?” God, of course his garage. It was the only one in Madison Falls. “Why would she do that? She knows I get the oil changed for her.” It was unnecessary, but she added, “Somewhere else.”
“I guess Lucy didn’t want to go somewhere else. If you want my opinion, I think she likes my dad.” Josh checked his side mirror and explained. “Your mama’s come in for an oil change three times this month.”
Sarah’s jaw nearly hit her lap. “Three times? You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Nope. I don’t think my dad minds either because I end up changin’ clean oil so they can talk in the office.”
“By talk, do you mean…?”
His eyes widened at the implication. “Lord, I hope not. Either way, I wasn’t about to open that door and find out. She gave me her number so I could text her when I was done.”
“How long do they stay in there?” Do I really want to know?
Josh gave her a sidelong glance. “Not long enough for any hanky-panky, if you ask me.”
Lucy was a widow, not to mention the mother of two adult daughters. That didn’t stop Sarah from feeling weird about her being interested in a man. She was a grandmother, for goodness sakes! Did grandmas dabble in hanky-panky?
A horrific thought occurred to her. “So if my mom and your dad got married, that would mean you would become my bro—”
Josh cut her off. “Not even. There is no way in hell that I’d ever think of you as a sister, stepsister, or any other variety of the word!”
Yeah, ick. She’d lost her virginity to the guy. Fate couldn’t be that cruel.
“Anyway, if that ever happened, we’d be related through marriage, not blood.” He steered until the truck and her car were straightened out and pointing in the right direction. Josh made a distracted grimace. “Besides, it’s a little soon to be talkin’ weddin’s.”
Sarah stared out the passenger window while a fog of awkward silence descended in the truck cab. Never in a million years did she think she’d be riding alone in the dark with Josh Logan again. She used to sit in the middle of the bench seat so they could hold hands while Josh drove. Back then, she couldn’t get close enough to him. Now, Sarah wished for a wider cab. His nearness was bringing up too many memories better left forgotten.
Josh cleared his throat. “So, congratulations on your business. I’ve been to your bar a time or two since I’ve been back.” There was a short pause. “Uh, great potato skins.”
Sarah remained quiet.
“Have you seen me there?” He sounded hopeful, or possibly suspicious.
She wasn’t admitting anything. Each time she even suspected he was at the bar, she retreated to her office to attend to pressing business matters. If that meant shuffling through invoices and rearranging paper clips on her desk, so be it.
“Sarah?” When she didn’t acknowledge him, Josh threw out, “Sunshine?”
That southern drawl reached out to her in the darkness. It pressed against her heart until she thought the weight of it was going to make her lose her breath. This evening had been too much for her. After so many years, facing Josh again hurt more than Sarah thought possible.
Anything he had to say was pointless. Nothing would ever make up for the way he’d dumped her and disappeared.
“I’m…”
“If you’re about to apologize, you can just forget it.”
* * * *
Josh didn’t think it would be that easy, but he’d hoped like hell it wouldn’t be this hard. He’d have to table the apology for now if he was going to get Sarah to listen to anything. It hadn’t escaped his notice that she couldn’t be any farther away from him if she tried.
At this rate, he was surprised Sarah hadn’t hung her head out the window to avoid breathing the same air as him. Josh could imagine her sunny blonde ponytail flapping in the breeze while she pretended he didn’t exist. She chose to remain angled away from him. He didn’t know why she was staring out the window as if the passing scenery were fascinating. It wasn’t fascinating. There was nothing to see because there was absolutely nothing but pitch darkness all around them.
The past was practically a living thing sitting between them.
His senior year of high school, Josh went from living in Tennessee to staying with his dad in Madison Falls. At seventeen, he’d been a bitter kid with a chip on his shoulder. His mom, Jolene, had gotten remarried, and her new husband had made it clear that Josh wasn’t welcome there anymore. His new stepdad didn’t need an almost-grown kid throwing a monkey wrench in his plans. Stanley wanted a new life with his new wife. Jolene hadn’t disagreed with the guy.
His mom had liked to shop, and Kenny’s child support payments were about to end. Josh had been getting closer to eighteen, and Jolene needed a backup plan. The combination of what she made on tips and the income from Josh’s part-time job wasn’t going to cover her credit card bills. Marrying Stanley, the oncologist, was her golden ticket. It had been crystal clear to Josh that with his mother, it all came down to money. Not having to work anymore was more important than having a relationship with her son.
It didn’t matter that his dad, Kenny, had taken him in readily enough. Getting rejected from the only home he’d ever known hurt, and as a teenager, Josh couldn’t stop being angry all the time. Added to that, he still resented his dad for moving to Madison Falls after the divorce. He’d never even offered to take Josh with him.
At twelve years old, when he’d needed a dad, he’d gotten stuck being the man of the house. Kenny had tried to explain his reasons for leaving, and Josh wouldn’t listen. After all the years without him, it seemed too little, too late. Living together full time was also a major adjustment. Every time Kenny tried to compromise, Josh fought with him anyway.
As a peace offering, his dad had given him an old ’65 Mustang to fix up. Josh grudgingly accepted it as his due. Dumb punk kid that he was, he’d never shown any gratitude. Without that car, he never would have been able to date Sarah and give her rides home from school.
He’d eventually talked her into the backseat of that car. Josh had played the part of the bad boy while Sarah Brandon had been the quintessential sweetheart. Thinking back on all his posturing and cockiness, Josh didn’t know what she’d seen in him. She’d been like a ray of sunlight in his dreary world, soothing him with her sweet kisses and shy flirting.
Sarah loved him and showed it every way she knew how. How had he’d shown her his appreciation for her loving gift? Josh had deserted her and left town. She’d always been too good for him.
Being on this side of the leaving, he understood now what his dad had been trying to tell him. Sometimes there didn’t seem to be any other choice. Still, with choices came consequences and he had a lot of atoning to do. Josh wanted to attempt another apology. Knowing that was futile, he went with small talk instead.
“So, about the insurance thing, why were you against it?”
She ignored him and continued to watch the black-on-black passing scenery.
“Is it because your ex-husband, Dick, is the only agent in town?”
That garnered a glance in his direction. “Richard. And yes, that’s exactly why.” Sarah didn’t elaborate.
“You know, you could go online for insurance. Don’t you ever see those commercials on TV? They play ’em all the time.”
Sarah mumbled something unintelligible and glanced away from him.
Josh was running out of time. Even with him driving slower than normal, they’d be in town soon. He had to get her to talk to him somehow, so he decided to do a little digging. “If you don’t mind my askin’, what caused the split? I always figured you for a two-point-five-kids, white-picket-fence kind of girl.”
“Yes, I do mind you asking!” Sarah closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and let out a sigh of resignation. “Fine. Everyone knows everything about everyone here anyway. I’m sure you’ve heard the gossip.”
He’d heard it several times with a few different versions. Darlene Donaldson, his landlady, dished the dirt on Sarah with a disgusting amount of glee and an uncomfortable amount of winking. The only reason he hadn’t told the biddy to shut the hell up was because he wanted to hear more about Sarah. Even a convoluted version of the truth was still news to him.
He waited to see whether Sarah would explain her side of things.
She absently twisted the strap on her purse. “In this case, the rumors are true. My marriage ended on our anniversary.”
“What happened?”
Sarah nodded absently and continued. “Richard said he had to work late so I stopped by his office to surprise him with a picnic lunch.”
“And?”
“And, I surprised him all right.” Sarah laughed. It was more in irony than humor.
“What happened?” Please don’t let Darlene be right.
“Let’s just say that he already had a dinner date.” She made a moue of disgust. “His secretary was on the menu that afternoon.” Sarah angled herself on the seat so she could face him more fully. “Ya know, there’s not enough eye bleach in the world to erase the image of Richard banging Brandi Belmont. I mean, there he was, pants around his ankles, tail end of his dress shirt flapping over his pasty-white ass…” She swallowed and made a face. “They were doing it right there on the reception desk. How freaking cliché can you get? All she had on were hot pink stilettos, and those were aiming straight for the ceiling.”
Day-um. So it was true that the asshole had cheated on her.
“What did you do?”
“I dropped the basket. Then I threw a container of potato salad at his ass.”
“What did he do?”
“I don’t know. I ran outside and threw up in one of the potted geraniums on the sidewalk. After that, I went home and packed.”
“You’re better off without him.”
“Yes and no. Did the town grapevine tell you that I have to pay the cheating butthead spousal support?”
“Really?” That was one detail that hadn’t made the rounds.
“Really.” Sarah rubbed a hand over her eyes “You honestly didn’t know?”
Richard Alan was an absolute piece of shit. “I had no idea. I didn’t know a man could get alimony.”
“Yeah, well, he’s not much of a man. Apparently, since I made more money than him, and he was used to a certain lifestyle, I got stuck with it. It was alimony and our house or half my bar.” A quick glance showed her staring out the window again. “At least I kept my business. Richard will never get his hands on that.”
“How long do you have to pay him?”
“Two full years or until he remarries. The second anniversary of our divorce is going to be a major celebration. Come September, I’m free and clear.”
Josh wanted to kick her ex-husband’s pasty-white ass. Sure, it made him a hypocrite since he’d hurt her too, but he’d never cheated on her.
The rest of the drive to the garage was quiet. Sarah clammed up after she discussed her divorce. He didn’t ask about her present dating situation. He had a source who kept him updated, and Lucy had no problem dropping hints that her daughter was single.
Sarah’s mom was willing to let bygones be bygones, but she wasn’t the one Josh loved and left. Lucy probably had no idea how serious their relationship had been. If she’d known that Josh had deflowered her baby girl, the woman would’ve had his nuts in a vise. The fact that he’d been a virgin too wasn’t much of a defense.
At the time, her dad called him out for being the horny teenager he was. Hal Brandon had threatened other, even more creative and painful ways to torture Josh if he laid a finger on his daughter. That little talk had scared the living hell out of him. It still hadn’t stopped him from touching her.
Josh had more hormones than will power. He got near Sarah, and one sweet kiss led to two, two kisses led to more, and after that, threats of bodily harm failed to register in his lust-addled brain. She’d always been irresistible.
Sarah sat up straighter when the tow truck lumbered into the garage’s parking lot. She looked mildly panicked. “I thought you would drop me off first.”
Josh could have easily taken Sarah home first, but he was trying to buy himself more time with her. He hadn’t been able to get this close to her in over a decade. Even if she still hated him, he was savoring the experience. “I need to unload your car before there’s any more stress on the frame. I’ll check it out and let you know what I find first thing in the mornin’.”
“Isn’t it a hassle to drive back across town to take me home from here?”
“It’s on the way to my place anyway, so it’s not a problem.”
“Don’t you live in the apartment above the garage?” Sarah flicked her gaze to the darkened windows above the steel door rolling open to reveal an empty service bay.
“Nah, Dad still lives there, and I need my own space.” He attempted a smile to soften his next piece of information. “I live above Sophie’s cookie shop now.”