SARAH was on the verge of bursting into tears. Her life had been suckish lately, but she couldn’t imagine what Josh must have gone through. After all that, and he’d asked for her when he woke up? She had so many questions, so many things she wanted to know now.
Josh changed the subject instead. “Hey, I wanted to tell you. Sorry about your dad. He was a good man. Sure saw through me right away.”
“Thank you. My dad really did like you, you know.” He’d hated Richard. Her dad hadn’t said so outright, yet they’d never gotten past pleasantries in the entire time she and Richard had been married. Most of the time, Hal left the room if Richard entered it. Her ex-husband had a habit of making social situations awkward by taking over the conversation.
Josh smirked. “He liked me as much as he could like a randy teenager sniffin’ after his daughter. But, yeah…he didn’t judge me for where I came from.”
“That’s because there’s nothing wrong with where you came from. He liked you for who you were. It didn’t hurt that you sucked up by helping him with the yard work.”
Josh smiled at her gentle teasing. “I wanted to come to his funeral. By the time I heard about it, everythin’ was all said and done.”
“It all happened so quickly. Dad was washing the car one minute, and the next he was lying in the driveway, with the garden hose shooting water everywhere. We called the ambulance. It was already too late. He’d had a massive heart attack.”
“I’m so sorry, Sarah.”
“You know, it was over two years before Mom would drive that car again. She wouldn’t so much as look at it.”
Sarah remembered thinking how she needed to shut off the hose. It was the strangest thing. Chaos was going on around her, but her top concern had been shutting off that water. Her dad was soaked in suds from the overturned bucket and the hose was slithering around on the concrete like an angry green snake spewing out water. Her mom had been shaking her dad, screaming, “Hal, wake up!” trying to get him to open his eyes, while Sarah stood watching what was left of the water pulse out until it stopped. That image would be forever stuck in her brain.
After Hal’s death, her mom was inconsolable. Lucy simply shut down and depended on Sarah to take care of her. So she did. She’d locked up the pain of losing her dad and essentially losing her husband at the same time and took on the responsibility of keeping her mom from sliding down the rabbit hole of grief. To be fair, her sister Sophie had done all she could to help Sarah out. She took Mom grocery shopping and over to her house for a visit when the bickering got to be too much for both of them. If Sarah or Sophie hadn’t insisted, Lucy never would have left the house. Sophie’s husband Reed getting critically injured in a construction accident was what had finally shaken Lucy out of her grief. After that, she joined the world again.
Sarah had always known Josh was out there somewhere, presumably living a happy life. Instead, he’d been deployed to Afghanistan which wasn’t exactly a vacation spot. She’d read about the abysmal living conditions of the soldiers over there. They were all in constant danger, every minute.
The notion of Josh wanting her when he was in the hospital squeezed at her heart. Josh could have been killed serving his country, and Sarah had no idea he’d been injured, much less in a coma. Imagining him in a hospital bed, asking for her, especially after all these years, was almost too much to take in.
She’d been going on with her day-to-day routine, hating her ex-husband, vaguely still angry at Josh, and not thrilled with men in general. All that time, she’d wished for a different life. At least she’d been safe and healthy.
“Sarah. Come on, sugar, don’t cry.”
She hadn’t even realized that she’d been crying. Josh patted her shoulder and drew her head down to his chest. Damn, that feels so good. The steady thump of his heart and the crisp smell of his shirt were such a welcome comfort to her. Sarah couldn’t remember the last time she cried on someone’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Josh. I don’t normally cry like this. I didn’t know about your accident. Believe it or not, no one ever said anything about it to me.” She sniffled. “Are you still in pain? Is that why you carry around the pain reliever?”
“I’m all right. Back in the hospital, they had me on Percocet, and after a while, I noticed that I was likin’ those a little too much, so I dialed it down to over the counter stuff before I ended up with more problems.” He stared out the window without really seeing anything. “A twinge or two is no big deal. There’s over a month of my life missing but I recovered. The other guys…yeah…at least I made it back.”
“Were you hurt anywhere else?”
“We all have scars, Sarah. Wanna see mine?”
Sarah wanted to see everything of Josh’s. Now didn’t seem like a good time to tell him that.
“Another time, then.” Josh’s huffed-out sigh made her cheek rise and fall with the movement of his chest. “It was life changin’, Sarah. That IED put me to sleep. It also woke me up. I had plenty of time to think while I was recoverin’. I thought about the past and I thought about the future. A career in the military didn’t appeal to me anymore. I was tired of only havin’ temporary places to stay. We went wheels up at any time, and I didn’t want to go away anymore.”
He lowered his chin until it rested against the top of her head. “I wanted a home, roots. You know, family. Tennessee wasn’t home anymore. Mom still lives there, but she has her own life. Strange as it sounds, when I thought of comin’ home, home was right here in Madison Falls. When it was time to re-up my enlistment, I took the honorable discharge instead.”
“Did you tell Kenny you were coming home?”
“He knew my plans.”
“It was nice of your dad to give you a job when you got out. It must have been a big change to become a civilian again.”
“In most ways, it’s easier than I thought it would be. Other ways, not so much.” Josh didn’t elaborate any more on what the other ways were. “You’re wrong about one thing. I’m not workin’ for my dad.”
“Then why are you driving the tow truck and doing oil changes at the garage? It looks like you’re working for him to me. Doesn’t he pay you?” Sarah didn’t think that was fair, not with all the work Josh did. “Maybe we could find you a job doing what you used to do in the Marines. I could help you with that if you’d tell me…”
“Whoa! Hold up now before you become my talent agent. I did the same job then as what I do now. I worked on Jeeps, trucks, you name it. Anythin’ with an engine. The only difference is, I did it in the sandbox while tryin’ not to get killed. I was a Marine first, and then a mechanic. I guess you could say I held a toolbox in one hand and a rifle in the other.”
“Do you miss holding a rifle?”
“No.” The answer was swift and clipped out.
“So, why are you doing mechanical work with your dad if he doesn’t pay you?”
“I never said he didn’t pay me. You came up with that one on your own. He doesn’t have to pay me. I’m his business partner.”
“You own half the garage?”
“Yeah.” Josh stroked his fingers over her ponytail. Sarah stayed cuddled to his chest. She was going to enjoy it as long as possible. “We planned it out before I was discharged. I bought him out of half the shop. I pay myself now.”
“So, you’re going to stay in Madison Falls for now?”
“I told you. I’m not goin’ anywhere. Soon as I find somethin’ I like, I’m buyin’ a house and settlin’ in. If I can’t find one, I’ll have one built. Didn’t you always want a home with a wraparound porch?”
Sarah couldn’t believe Josh remembered her dream house. There was a time she’d had high hopes of having her own house and went on and on to Josh about what it would be like. The one she bought with Richard had been more contemporary, better suited to his tastes. Her mom’s house was precisely that, her house. Sarah lived there and helped pay the bills, but it wasn’t her house. The only thing she had that was all hers was her business. She still had a feeling Richard was trying to get a part of that too.
After everything Josh had gone through, he deserved to be happy. How rotten of her to be envious that he was going to get something she’d always wanted. Shame bore down on her and the tears returned.
Josh soothed her with nonsense and the strength of his arms around her. “Come on, sunshine. It’s all gonna be all right. If all that hell wouldn’t have happened, I wouldn’t be here right now, sittin’ smack in the middle of heaven, holdin’ you.”
* * * *
Josh felt Sarah stiffen at the reminder of their new position. The front of his shirt was damp from her tears. Warm puffs of her breath drifted over the wet cotton. He tightened the band of his arms around her before letting them go slack. He didn’t want Sarah to move but left the choice up to her.
She placed a hand on his chest and levered herself up enough to look him in the eye. Sarah was the only woman he knew who made crying look good. She probably wouldn’t agree with him. Her nose was pink at the tip and her eyes sparkled from her tears. Somehow, her irises looked a lighter shade of green, from jade to emerald.
She was stunning. It still broke his heart to see her cry.
Josh cupped her cheek and wiped a tear away with his thumb. Sarah didn’t flinch away. Instead, she closed her eyes and leaned into the support of his palm. She kept her lids closed when she whispered, “I missed you, Josh.”
“Sarah, I missed you too. So much…”
He didn’t finish his sentence. Sarah cut him off by pressing her lips to his. They were soft, and hot and salty from her tears. His heart started hammering. The moment was so sweet, it felt like they were having their first kiss all over again. He didn’t know where to put his hands, and he was afraid to move in case it made her stop.
Sarah leaned in and framed his face with her fingers, keeping him in place. He sure as hell wasn’t going anywhere. She tipped her head to the other side to get a better angle, and Josh gave in and rested his hands on her hips. Kissing Sarah was like coming home, only home was even better than he remembered. Everything was sweeter, hotter, and more intense than the watered-down memories of a dozen years.
She made a small sound in her throat and moved to straddle his lap. Josh helped by practically lifting her to get her where she wanted to go.
He broke off the kiss. “Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere?”
“Do I…? No.”
She grabbed him by the back of the neck and kissed him harder. Josh let her take the lead, figuring if she were sore anywhere, she wouldn’t have jumped on him.
Sarah pulled away this time. “Josh, shut up.”
“I didn’t say anythin’.”
“You were thinking about it.” Her lips brushed against his when she whispered, “No talking.”
Worked for him. When the tip of her tongue swiped against his bottom lip, Josh forgot how to speak anyway. She had her fingers laced through the hair at the base of his skull, and the slight tug he felt when she drew him closer drove him crazy. His fingers clenched around her hips. He squeezed the fabric, holding on to anything he could when she dove in and traced her tongue in a languid sweep against his.
He was lost to everything except Sarah—the sound of her accelerated breaths, the rasp of her hardened nipples brushing against his chest, the heat of her core pushed right against his lap, right where he needed her. God, she was so hot, Josh was ready to go up in flames underneath her. There was only here and now.
He slid a hand under the back of her shirt and skimmed his fingertips along the smooth skin at the top of her waistband. She felt like warm silk. He drew his hand higher, dipping along her spine until she shivered. Sarah gripped his hips harder with her thighs. Christ. Josh couldn’t go slow. He wanted to touch her everywhere at the same time.
Sarah pushed his T-shirt up until it got caught up on his arms. He took over and ripped the damn thing over his head, hating the seconds it took away from kissing her. Her small hands traced over his shoulders, alternating between delicate passes and hard presses of her fingers into his muscles. Josh knew she was learning him all over again. Sarah could have at him, touch him anyway she wanted. He was hers.
He read the goose bumps on her skin like Braille. He knew Sarah. She was so open and responsive to his touch that is was easy to learn what she wanted. Josh trailed a hand around the front and pushed between their bodies until he cupped the soft swell of her breast over the lace of her bra. Perfect. With a moan, she leaned back to give him enough space to touch her. He pushed inside the fabric panel and felt soft, sweet Sarah in the flesh. He didn’t waste time taking off her shirt. He yanked it up and drew a tantalizing rosy tip into his mouth. She cried out as soon as his lips made contact with her nipple. Josh used one hand in the middle of her back to brace her as she arched her spine. His fingers practically spanned the width of her back.
Sarah always had sensitive breasts. He drew her into his mouth, sucking, pulling, and drawing her in until her moans intensified. When he felt she was about to lose control, he switched sides.
“Oh, God,” gasped from her lips. “Please, Josh, more. More.” She rubbed against an aching erection that was straining against his zipper. Sarah wanted more, and he was willing and ready to give it to her. He slid his hand down, stealing inside the back of her shorts until he had a grip on the sexiest ass in creation. Josh squeezed and pushed her in an erotic dance against his hard-on. She undulated her hips until he thought the top of his head was going to blow off from the pleasure. He pushed his hand lower until he felt the slippery wetness of her sex against his fingers.
He swirled around the slick heat of her. Sarah made a keening sound and pulled his head from her breast so she could kiss him. She went up on her knees to give Josh room to unbutton her shorts. A pop of a button and a rasp of a zipper lowering and he was in the front of her panties, feeling the soft fluff of hair before delving deeper and sliding two fingers…home.
“So good, so tight. Oh, damn, Sarah. Baby girl, you’re so fuckin’ wet I might come just feelin’ you like this.” He pushed in farther until his palm brushed against the heart of her. He pressed his forehead to her chest and flexed his fingers in time with the sway of her hips.
Sarah’s grip on his shoulders tightened as she rode against him. Her hand slipped south over his pecs and down his abs. Her hand reached his zipper, and he held his breath. Instead of opening his jeans, Sarah rubbed the hard ridge of his arousal through the denim.
He arched up when she cupped his shaft. He pushed her hand hard against him. “Feel what you do to me. I want to be inside you so badly my dick is jealous of my fingers.” He twirled his slippery fingers around her tight bundle of nerves and ran his lips over her shoulder and up her neck. He licked and sucked along her skin until Sarah’s entire body trembled. Josh bit gently at the skin behind her ear and slid home with his fingers again. She ground against him and shook and cried out as she gave into to the violent pulses that contracted around his knuckles. Jesus. Josh grabbed hold of her hip and held her against him while she rode out her orgasm. Any more movement and he was going to come in his pants. God, it was sweet agony. He couldn’t hold back his groan.
The contractions eased to smaller flutters and aftershocks. He held on to her until their breathing evened out. He eased out of her panties, and she adjusted her bra and top before zipping up. Josh held her to him when she tried to dismount.
“Hold on.” He let out a shaky breath. “Just hold on a second.”
Sarah didn’t meet his eyes. She stared at his chest and bit her lip. “I’m sorry.”
That was the last thing he expected to hear. “Sorry? Darlin’, what the hell could you possibly be sorry for?”
“I sort of, well, jumped you.”
He flexed enough to make his erection known. “Do I feel insulted to you?”
“No, you feel…”
“I feel what? Go on and tell me. Say it.”
“You feel hard.”
“And who made me that way?”
“Me.”
“Are you sorry?”
“No.” Sarah’s playful grin was sexy as hell.
“Me neither.”
The little imp ground down against him.
“Okay, enough of that. I haven’t driven home with a hard-on since I was seventeen. This one’s got your name on it too. It’s amazin’ how some things never change.”
Her smile slipped. “Some things do.” She climbed off of him and took her place on her side of the bench seat. “I can’t believe we did this! Anyone could have seen us, Josh!”
“No one saw us.” Josh looked around the empty field. Unless someone was hiding in the trees with binoculars, they were good.
“We can’t do that again.” Sarah’s neck was pink from where he’d nipped her. He liked that there was proof of where his lips had been.
“Okay, we’ll wait ’til dark.”
“No, I’m sorry.” She shook her head. “I don’t know where the hell my head is. You touch me and…”
“And?”
“And I lose control.”
“Good.” He wanted Sarah to feel as out of control as he was.
“Why is that good?”
“I got a feelin’ you try to control too many things in your life. It’s okay to let go. Especially with me.”
She tossed his T-shirt at him and buckled up. “I’ve let go enough for one day. Take me home.”
He got his clothes straightened out and stared at her mutinous expression. “So, how about those kisses? Sloppy or not?”
Sarah folded her arms over her chest and stared out the passenger window, without answering.
Josh started the ignition and put the truck in gear. “Well, what’s the verdict?”
Her color was still high from their encounter. “Shut up.”
“That’s what I thought.”