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“Susanna, you, Mom and Joanna have been awfully secretive lately,” I said, looking up from my ledger. I was compiling a list of payments due to us for goods we had sold, and a list of our own debts. On balance, we were coming out well ahead. I looked forward to reporting good news to Dad.
She paused in her walk across the room. My sisters both had straight, black hair that hung in contrast to the fair skin of their round faces. Anyone would immediately see their resemblance to Mom, just as anyone would see that James and Simon shared Dad’s features.
Susanna curled her lip in a conspiratorial grin. “Secretive! Why, whatever could you mean by that?”
“Whispering among yourselves. And you suddenly stop talking when Simon or I enter the room. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were planning a surprise party for me. But my birthday is still several months away, so you must be preparing something very big for me.”
Susanna gasped and turned to squarely face me, feet spread apart, hands on her hips. Except for her age, she looked exactly like Mom about to tell me how much pain I would inflict on myself for some terrible mistake I was about to make. If Mom were standing in that position in front of me, I would take care to speak only when spoken to and to choose my words carefully. But Susanna was the youngest, so I could speak freely without too much fear of physically harming myself.
“If you must know, we’ve been discussing dowries. We have to start planning for Joanna’s. And though it doesn’t directly involve you yet, we have to start thinking about Mary of Uncle Benjamin’s house in Bethany. She’s betrothed to Jesus, but he’s been away for more than two years now.”
I set my quill down and moved the ledger aside. “Dowries? I don’t recall anyone asking me to select a husband for Joanna. Why should I have to start setting aside a dowry already? I work hard to make sure we can afford to maintain this household, and I can’t afford to just deduct money frivolously.”
Now I learned how much I had underestimated Susanna. Still holding her hands on her hips, she leaned forward slightly and locked her eyes with cold precision onto mine. The Stare! Mom taught her The Stare! “Look, little man,” she said very slowly, “Dad’s still the head of this family. Don’t even pretend to yourself that you’re going to select husbands for Joanna, or me, or anyone else, for that matter.”
I sat stock-still, hoping not to betray any emotion. “But Dad’s weak and can barely get out of his bed most days. He can’t go around to all the proper families to discuss possible unions with their sons.”
Susanna said nothing. She slowly lifted her hands off of her hips and then folded her arms across her chest, her eyes never releasing mine.
After a full minute of awkward silence, an idea crossed my mind and I grasped at it. “I suppose Mom could always introduce a suitable young man to Dad and ask his approval,” I suggested.
“Very good,” she said, “you catch on quickly. There’s hope for you yet.” Her stance softened, and I was able to break eye contact.
I took a deep breath before remembering something else she had said. Perhaps she hadn’t even meant to let the comment slip out. But she did, so I felt I could ask. “But what’s this about Mary in Bethany?”
She had started to walk toward the door but paused again, glancing over her shoulder at me. “Dad said our two families’ fortunes should be wedded together. If Jesus is not available, you would be next in line.”
With that, she walked out of the room.
The room was now silent, so I could speak to myself aloud. “Wow, I hope Jesus is doing well at whatever it is he’s doing out there. And that he stays where he is!”
I started working on my ledger again, but my mind wandered. Mary. Sweet little Mary! I detected a stiffening sensation of anticipation in my midsection. Not the first time she had aroused such sensations!