FORTY

Sofia picked up the phone and punched in the number for her in-house accountant.

“Did you process the donation I asked you to take care of last week?”

She listened to the voice on the other end, and her temper flared.

“I know it was a much larger donation than I generally make, but this organization does great work. I’m certain of the amount. Send it overnight courier today, or I’ll find someone else to handle my finances.”

Sofia slammed the receiver into its cradle. It infuriated her to have her motives questioned by employees. It was none of their business whom she donated money to or in what amount.

As her ire at her accountant faded, her mind wandered to Carson. A niggling warning kept telling her to stay away from his fundraiser, but she had nothing other than her gut to make her pull the plug. She trusted her instincts, but J.R.’s declaration of love had muddled her mind. She needed to bring things back into focus.

Sofia entered a number and waited. She was almost ready to hang up when a familiar voice came over the line.

“Verda?”

“Is that you, Sofia?”

“Yes, how are you doing?”

“Fine, but I am a little worried. Not that I don’t enjoy hearing from you, but you haven’t called in years, and now you’ve rang twice in as many weeks. Talk to me.”

Sofia took a deep breath and remained silent for several moments wondering if she had made a mistake calling. Lately, her life seemed to be spinning out of control for the first time since becoming an adult. When Sofia was a child, Verda often made the spinning slow and occasionally, even just for a few hours after school, stop.

“After we talked last, I asked my accountant to draft a check for the center to help your after-school program. I wanted to call so you could watch out for it. You should receive the funds in a couple of days. If you don’t, please call me at this number.”

“I can’t tell you how much the kids and I appreciate you wanting to help, but are you sure that’s the only reason you called?”

“I’m thinking of taking on a new project. I may be out of the country for a while, so I probably won’t be calling again.”

“Something or someone exciting?”

“Possibly a bit of both. It would involve starting up a new manufacturing facility in an exotic location. There’s also a man in my life, but I’m not sure how much control I’m willing to hand over to him.”

“You’ve always had issues with trust, not that I ever blamed you. The adult that was supposed to protect you let you down, but don’t allow those experiences to prevent you from achieving happiness. You deserve it.”

Sofia appreciated that Verda didn’t ask about what she would be manufacturing, where she would be going, or who she was seeing. Just like when she was younger, the woman went straight to the real issue at hand.

“I want to trust him, Verda. I really do.”

“What’s standing in the way? I hope it isn’t your past still putting up roadblocks.”

Sofia thought about the question for a moment.

“I’m sure it’s a little of that, but I’ve observed many sides to him, and some are not as flattering as others.”

“What is your gut telling you?”

“That I may not have a choice.”

“Sofia, you are the master of your own destiny. If I taught you nothing else, I always hoped that was the one lesson that stuck.”

“Until now I believed that. I thought I was in total control of my life. Lately I’m not so sure.”

“How much trouble are you in? I remember you don’t trust the cops, but maybe I can find someone else who can help.”

“No, Verda. I shouldn’t have called. I can take care of this. I’m just feeling uncharacteristically emotional.”

“Love can do that to a woman.”

Sofia didn’t think her need to reach back into her past had anything to do with love. Maybe she was feeling a little guilty that many of the lessons Verda had tried to teach her had been a wasted effort. She taught her about strength, self-respect, independence, and hard work. Instead of using those assets to build a good life for herself, she always kept pushing for more money, more power, and revenge.

“That must be it,” Sofia whispered.

“I hope so, but if it’s more, promise me you’ll get help. You were always too independent and proud to reach out. There are a lot of good people out there who want to do what’s right, and not all police officers are bad.”

“Yes. You’re living proof that there are good people who want to help, but I need to take back control on my own. No one can help me undo what I’ve done.”

“There is someone. I’ll pray for you, Sofia.”

Sofia bit her lip to prevent the tear from slipping down her cheek. Verda had always offered to pray for her. It was hard to have faith, but it still touched her deeply that Verda cared enough to reach out to God on her behalf.

“Thanks, Verda. I guess it couldn’t hurt.”

“Be careful.”

“I always am. Another lesson that you taught me well.”

Sofia disconnected and leaned back in her chair. Usually a conversation with Verda soothed her soul. This time the call left her more conflicted than ever. Her heart told her to give herself to J.R. Her head told her to run, and she wasn’t sure which she should listen to.