Chapter 23

Wally clapped and giggled at the clown—Ding-Dong—whose big trick was to pull balloons out of his nose by pushing a button that made a doorbell sound. He then blew the balloons into animal shapes and passed them out.

Ding-Dong tripped on his oversized shoes and fell. I thought Wally was going to split his sides laughing. The rest of the kids clapped politely as Mrs. Genloe helped Ding-Dong up. The clown pulled her down with him, and Ping-Pong balls fell out of his hat. He held up a sign: Ding-Dong’s Ping-Pongs.

Finally, a whipped-cream pie came out, and the kids whooped. I could tell Mrs. Genloe knew the drill by the way she moved away from it, but the kids thought it was real. When Ding-Dong slipped again and let go of the pie, Mrs. Genloe ducked and the beloved gym teacher (wearing a plastic bag over his clothes) took the pie full in the face. The kids laughed wildly, pointed at him, and screamed when he shook his head like a dog and sent whipped cream flying.

Wally rolled on the floor and stomped his feet. His face turned red.

Ding-Dong brought out his trained pigs that had been on some late-night show doing tricks. I felt bad for Mom having to follow an act like this, but that’s show business.

Mrs. Genloe had everyone stand and stretch after Ding-Dong gave a final ring of his bell and left. Then she introduced Mom as a successful author who lived in the area. She mentioned Bryce—who wasn’t there—and pointed me out. Wally looked up at me like I was some kind of a celebrity.

I got nervous. Mom didn’t have orange hair, balloons coming out of her nose, whipped-cream pies, or dancing pigs. She just had a few pages in her lap.