THE NEXT FEW days were hell. Between attending the probate hearing, confirming his dad had less than $20,000 in cash assets and working through the stocker herds one animal at a time, Eli managed very little sleep. He spent his waking hours split between wearing loafers and cowboy boots, business suits and shit-stained jeans. Never had he been pulled in such opposite directions.
His new cell arrived, and immediately the firm’s founding partners began calling. The first two days they were cajoling, joking with him about getting back to civilization. By Monday, their coaxing turned to demands he return. He had, after all, taken his three days of bereavement leave. They needed him to be in the office to handle Macallroy, who was making serious noises about taking his business elsewhere. And, to add to the soup pot of madness, Lynette had begun to call three or four times a day to ask for guidance.
Before the last call, he’d just pulled the trigger to put a young steer down. His stomach had been rolling viciously, and he seriously thought he might lose his lunch.
“What?” he’d shouted into the phone.
“M-Mr. Covington?”
“Not now, Lynette. Go find Amanda if you have questions.” And he’d hung up.
They’d sorted the sickest first and, so far, they’d put down more than forty percent of the herds that had moved through the portable corrals. It seemed the rest stood a fairly good chance of making it, but it would mean more round-the-clock work, and he had just about reached his limit.
He and Reagan hadn’t exchanged much more than curt conversation as they worked together. Often when he’d grab a couple hours of sleep, he’d wake to find her still at it. She had to be near breaking, too. He’d been so angry with her for all of this, but it wasn’t her fault. Realization had taken a few days to set in, but when it did, it had been one more brick of guilt to weigh him down. She hadn’t brought this down on them. Not in any way. All she’d done was her job. She’d held to her ethics and obligations, and that was more than he could say for himself lately.
Still, ethics aside, this whole experience had reinforced his long-held belief that this wasn’t the life for him. Facing life and death every day, never knowing if you’d be delivering a calf or putting its mother down after a difficult birth—he couldn’t live this way. Ranching life was far too brutal. He wanted to give life every chance to persevere. That’s why he’d gone into law, though he’d lost some of that idealism along the way.
He had to wrap this up and get home...to Austin, back to a job he was damned good at with people he didn’t have to share a house with or a lover he couldn’t touch. But he wouldn’t abandon his brothers again. He might not be a cowboy, but there were other ways he could help them and the legacy the three of them shared as brothers. He emptied the chamber of his rifle and bowed his head. The urge to plead with the heavens hit him for the second time since he’d started this journey, surprising him no less now than it had when the plane had dropped to the runway.
That’s when it hit him—it was far too quiet. Dragging his gaze up, he looked around stupidly. Where were all the cows?
A hand settled on his shoulder and he glanced up.
“It’s done,” Ty said quietly.
“Finished?”
“In more ways than one.” Cade handed him a sheet of paper. “The insurance company’s dropping us. We won’t be able to register or advertise as an insured stocker operation anymore.” He swallowed hard and tipped his chin back, but not before Eli caught the sheen in his eyes. “The Bar C is done.”
“No.” Eli’s denial surprised them all. Ty’s gaze slowly rose even as Cade wiped his eyes without shame. “It’s not done,” Eli said vehemently. “This isn’t how this was supposed to go.”
Cade opened his mouth and had to close it as the first tear tipped over his lower lashes. He spun away and started across the pasture, away from the house and the day’s activities.
They watched him go, and Eli experienced the strongest sense of solidarity with his brothers he’d ever had. He looked at Ty. “There has to be something we can do, something to change the course we’re on.”
Ty’s usual fun-loving gaze was flat. “We ought to be able to make enough off the sale to buy a small place somewhere, but it won’t be enough to use as a sole source of income. We’ll have to take jobs with some of the local contractors around.” He blew out a hard breath. “Or sell, save the money and see if we can get hired on as cowboys on other ranches.”
“No,” Eli ground out, low but fierce. “I have a substantial savings account. I’ll buy into the ranch, fund what I can and get a loan for the rest of it to restock the place. We’ll just become an independent operation.”
Ty gaped at him, face entirely blank. “We?”
Eli opened and closed his mouth. Then the laughter started, soft at first until it had him doubled over. “I’ve lost my damn mind,” he finally said as he stood, “but yeah—we.”
“You coming home?” Ty asked so quietly Eli had to ask him to repeat it. “Are you coming home, to the ranch?”
“No. I’ll keep my job in Austin to insure this place stays afloat. Besides, if any of us should work in town, it’s me. I’m better at it, and I make damn good money.” Ty’s face lost the joy that had suffused it, and Eli reached out to clasp his brother’s shoulder. “It’s for the best. I’ll funnel everything I can back to you guys, and make some investments so we’ve got money for the lean years. It’ll give you and Cade the security you have to have in order to make the Bar C what it should be without depending on brokers. I...” He rubbed a hand across of the nape of his neck and stared at his boots. “The Bar C has to stay in the family, if for no other reason than for you and the family of your own that you’ll have one day. You and Cade, provided there’s a woman out there tough enough to whip him into shape and keep him there. It won’t happen for me, but I can make that happen for you two. I want to do that. Please.”
Ty nodded and then started across the pasture in a different direction than Cade had taken, his shoulders shaking and head bowed.
Eli hurt for his brothers. They’d borne so much on their own, carrying his weight, his obligations, his legacy for him while he tried to find out who he was and where he belonged. The least he could do was ensure they both had the opportunity to make something of this place. Cade was a good businessman. Ty was an amazing horseman. Both were outstanding cowboys. Between them and the men they had on staff, they could make this work. He’d be a silent partner, and he wouldn’t regret it in any way.
Grabbing his rifle, he headed toward the corrals. Several of the Bar C cowboys spoke to him, their deference clear. He’d held with them, worked alongside them and he’d earned their respect. It wasn’t something he’d expected. It also wasn’t something he’d ever take for granted. Eli searched for Reagan but couldn’t find her anywhere. The state vet, though, was sitting in his truck, driver’s door open, and filling out paperwork on a metal clipboard. Eli approached the man with caution. They hadn’t gotten off on the right foot, and Eli had some fences to mend. The other man had to be receptive, though.
“Dr. Alvarez?” Eli started.
The vet glanced up, his hooded eyes emotionless. “Mr. Covington. What can I do for you?”
Eli held out his hand.
Dr. Alvarez set his stuff down slowly, stood and shook the proffered hand. “Different kind of discussion than I expected.”
“I want to apologize for being so harsh the other day.” A good eight inches taller than the diminutive man, Eli tried not to lord his height. “I was upset and struck out at the first target I could find.”
Dr. Alvarez dropped Eli’s hand and got back in his truck, picking up his paperwork and returning his attention to it as he spoke. “I appreciate the apology, but I want to be clear that this won’t change my recommendations for the ranch.”
“I’m sorry?” Eli took his hat off and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I was under the impression that we’d be cleared once the stock tanks were sanitized and the ear tags confirmed we’d accounted for all the calves.”
The vet shot him a brief glance before continuing to fill out forms. “This is the worst outbreak I’ve seen in my career. It’s spread to two additional ranches now. The Phillips just reported six head with symptoms. Until this is totally shut down, I’m quarantining the county.”
“You—”
Dr. Alvarez held up a hand and gave Eli a somewhat compassionate look. “I realize what this is going to cost you. On the heels of losing your father, I would imagine it’s harder than it would normally be. I’m sorry for that. But we can’t jeopardize the state’s cattle population on sentimentality, Mr. Covington.”
“I understand,” he said woodenly. Everything he’d just talked to his brothers about, everything he’d promised them he’d do, meant more now than ever. They’d have to begin an extensive recovery program and bring in cows as soon as the quarantine was lifted. To keep his word to his brothers, he’d have to sell his Lake Travis home, probably his car, and pare back his lifestyle by half. He’d do what he’d promised them he’d do, though.
His brothers would be able to live the life they’d fought so hard to hold on to. He wanted that for them, if not for himself.
Still, the achievement left him feeling empty. He’d be returning to Austin with a true relationship with his brothers. But in the end? He’d still be going home just as alone as he had been when he arrived.
Unless he could convince Reagan to come with him...
* * *
REAGAN SAT ON the back porch of her house sipping beer and rocking her porch swing with one bare foot. The sunset blazed furiously as if the day protested the coming night. But like so many things in life, night would come no matter how hard the sun fought to hold its place.
Armando had left more than an hour ago with his final report. He’d told her he’d be quarantining the county, which meant more work for her. She couldn’t bring herself to charge the ranchers for her services, not when the medications were so expensive, so she’d provide top-notch care at cut-rate prices until everyone was on their feet again. It was the right thing to do. But, like everything these days, it came with a cost.
Holding a hand up to shield her eyes, she watched her horses coming up to the barn for the night. Chores were done save stabling those four and feeding them. She’d get to it soon enough.
Brisket rolled over on his back, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. He swished his tail against the pine boards, and she gave in, rubbing his belly with her other foot. She absently reached for the phone and dialed her neighbor’s number from memory.
Mark Russell picked up on the third ring. “Hey, Reagan. You okay?”
“I’m good, Mark. Have you heard otherwise?”
He chuckled. “The Watsons are burning up the phone lines about you and Eli.”
Her throat tightened. “Yeah?”
“Gossipy old bitch.” She heard his booted steps echo across his floor and a screen door squeaked open before slamming closed. “What’s new?”
Something in her she hadn’t realized she’d been holding on to so tightly relaxed just enough for her to ask the one thing she most wanted to know. “What’s the general consensus, Mark?”
“About Eli?” He huffed out a breath. “There are a handful who let old grudges die hard deaths.”
“Do they never wonder why he left?” she asked a little more harshly than she intended. “He had to be happy, and no one around here seems to give a damn about that aspect of his life. They’re too busy condemning him for leaving.”
“Most of them judged him for leaving you more than his old man.”
Struck dumb, she choked on her beer. When she could finally wheeze without coughing, she asked, “Me? But I left, too.”
“And came home.” He called out a warning to one of his boys about swinging in the hayloft before returning to the conversation.
“He came home when he was needed. That has to count for something.”
“You’d think.” Mark sighed and, just as she’d trusted him to do, let the rest of the truth go. “There are a handful of people who believe you’re making a huge mistake getting involved with him.”
“What you’re actually saying is they feel I should continue to live a good widow’s life.” She blew out a hard breath. “I’ve reached the point where they can kiss my ass.”
“Good girl. Just know the majority of us have your back.”
“Thanks, Mark.” Winding her ponytail around her hand, she fought the shake in her voice. “That’s not why I called, though. Well, not the only reason.”
“What can I do for you?”
“You’ve heard the county’s going to be quarantined.”
“Yeah,” he answered, voice tight.
“It’s going to mean lower profits for everyone for a bit. I’m going to cut my service rates to dirt, sell meds at wholesale, do what I can to help. That means I can’t keep this place.”
“Without the income from the calves, I can’t afford to buy it.”
“I’ve got the mortgage paid through the end of the year.” Her belly flipped like a pancake tossed by a short-order cook. “If I have an attorney draw up a lease-to-purchase that’s favorable for you until you get your calves sold and can make the purchase, are you still interested in buying my place?”
“You sure about this?” he asked gently.
“It’s time.” Her answer was so quiet the words competed with the crickets emerging for the evening.
“Have your attorney draw it up. You want to stay in the house until we close the deal for good?”
She hadn’t thought that far ahead. “It’d be great if you’d be willing to let me. I’ll include all my livestock in the sale except the horses. I’ll keep those,” she said, voice tight.
“You sure you’re ready to take this step, sweetheart?” Mark asked, the term of endearment nothing more than one of close friendship.
Even though he couldn’t see her, she nodded. “It really is time, Mark.”
“Then we’ve got a deal. And if you need to stay at the house longer, just give me a holler. We’ll work something out.”
“Thanks, Mark. Good night.” Disconnecting, she set the phone down.
Being with Eli had proved to her she’d been holding on to the wrong memories for far too long. When he left this time, she’d mourn him, yes. But she would also be able to celebrate what they’d shared. So from now until he left, she would relish every second they had together. If he could forgive her the quarantine mess.
The rumble of a diesel engine came down her drive and cut off in front of her house. She stood and stretched before starting around the wraparound porch toward the front of the house. The truck came into sight first. It was a Bar C vehicle, and the first thing she thought was that something had gone horribly wrong. Her walk turned into a run as she rounded the corner of the house to see Eli raising a hand to knock. She stopped suddenly, rocking forward. “Eli?”
He looked over at her, face solemn. “I brought a piece of glass to fix the door.”
“I already had it done, but thanks.”
“Send me the bill, okay? I meant to get to it sooner, but...” He didn’t have to explain anything to her. They both knew how hellish the past few days had been.
“Why are you here? What’s wrong?”
One corner of his mouth lifted. “Nothing.”
“Everything is okay at the ranch?” she demanded.
“As okay as it can be given the fact Dr. Alvarez quarantined the county.” He shrugged. “It is what it is.”
“I’m so sorry, Eli,” she whispered.
He closed the distance between them and wrapped her in a hard hug that nearly stole her breath. “Don’t you dare apologize. You did what you had to do. Yeah, we were pissed about it. Might even have cursed you once or twice, if I’m honest.” He drew back and met her stare. “But you didn’t cause this. We have no idea where it originated, had no idea initially that it was something so serious. Maybe we could have, even should have, moved faster, but Shipping Fever is so rare nowadays. It seemed logical to assume it was something less lethal. All we can do now is get through the aftermath.” He swallowed hard and gazed out over her land. Set in the Cimarron Valley, it was idyllic. Nothing as wild and scenic as the Bar C, but pretty enough. “I’m going back to Austin. Soon. I’ll have to make some serious financial changes to my lifestyle, but I’m going to do my damnedest to provide the operating overhead Cade and Ty have to have to keep the ranch.”
This time it was she who wrapped her arms around him. A slight tremor worked its way through her and down her arms, curling her fingers into his shirt. She didn’t want him to leave. They’d barely scratched the surface of what might have been between them. She didn’t want to let him go. Not again. Not like this. Not knowing she would, at best, be someone he either visited or simply ran into when he came home to visit his brothers. Breaking away, he grabbed her hand and hauled her toward the truck, but she resisted. “What?”
“I’m barefoot.”
Without missing a beat, he scooped her up and carried her to the truck. “Shoes are optional tonight.”
“Where are we going?” she asked as he deposited her in the cab.
He crawled in behind the wheel, hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her close to his side. “Somewhere I should have taken you already.”
The most she could do was buckle up and go along for the ride.