This book is an introduction and guide to the field known as Neuro-Linguistic Programming, or NLP. NLP is the art and science of excellence, derived from studying how top people in different fields obtain their outstanding results. These communication skills can be learned by anyone to improve their effectiveness both personally and professionally.
This book describes many of the models of excellence that NLP has built in the fields of communication, business, education, and therapy. The approach is practical, it gets results, and it is increasingly influential in many disciplines all over the world.
NLP continues to grow and generate new ideas. We, the writers, are aware that in contrast, books are fixed and static. Every book is a statement relative to the time it was written. It is a snapshot of the subject. However, just because a person will be different tomorrow is no reason not to take a photograph today.
Think of this book as being rather like a stepping stone, allowing you to explore new territory and continue an exciting lifetime journey. It represents the authors' personal understanding of NLP and is not a definitive or official version. Such a version will never exist, by the very nature of NLP. This is an introduction and we have made many choices about what to include and what to leave out. The result is one of many possible ways to organize the material.
NLP is a model of how individuals structure their unique experiences of life. It is only one way to think about and organize the fantastic and beautiful complexity of human thought and communication. We hope that with two of us writing, this description of NLP will have a dimension of depth, which would not be the case if there was only one author. Depth is perceived by focusing both eyes on an object. The world is flat when viewed through one eye alone.
NLP represents an attitude of mind and a way of being in the world that cannot adequately be passed on in a book, although some sense of it will come from reading between the lines. The enjoyment of a wonderful piece of music comes from listening to it, not from looking at the score.
NLP is practical. It is a set of models, skills, and techniques for thinking and acting effectively in the world. The purpose of NLP is to be useful, to increase choice, and to enhance the quality of life. The most important questions to ask about what you find in this book are, “Is it useful? Does it work?” Find out what is useful and what works by trying it out. More important, find out where it does not work and then change it until it does. That is the spirit of NLP.
Our aim in writing this book is to satisfy a need that we perceived in talking to the growing number of people who are becoming interested in NLP. We set out to write a book that would provide an overview of the field. It would share our excitement at the insights into how people think and the changes that are possible. It would cover many of the most useful skills, patterns, and techniques in a way that makes them readily available for use as tools for change in a changing world. After a first reading, it would continue to be useful as a reference book. It would give practical guidance in buying other NLP books to follow up particular interests and applications. And it would offer guidance in choosing NLP training courses.
This aim was so daunting, given the “elusive obviousness” of NLP, that neither of us was prepared to tackle it on our own. Combining our resources gave us the courage. How far we have succeeded depends on how useful you find this book.
We particularly want to encourage you to explore further in the field of NLP, and to use these powerful ideas with integrity and respect for yourself and others, to create more choice and happiness in your personal and professional life, and in the lives of others.
We originally planned a chapter of stories about how people discovered NLP and their experiences using it. We soon decided that this would not work, second hand experience has entertainment value, but little direct impact. Instead, in the spirit of NLP, we urge you to create your own chapter of interesting experiences using NLP.
NLP is best experienced live. Read the menu, and if you like what you read, enjoy the meal.
A photograph never was the person.
A stepping stone is not the journey.
A musical score is not the sound.
There is no magic, only magicians and people's perceptions.
We would like to thank many people for inspiration and help with this book.
First, we want to give credit and recognition to the originators of NLP, Richard Bandler and John Grinder.
We would also like to thank John Grinder for reading the manuscript, giving very useful feedback which we have incorporated, and for writing the preface.
We also want to give credit and recognition to the many other people who extended the ideas, especially Robert Dilts, who has been influential in developing NLP in many directions over the past decade. Our thanks and appreciation to Robert for permission to use his material on strategies and the Unified Field. He has been particularly helpful, given freely of his ideas and has inspired us greatly.
David Gaster has also given us a great deal of help and encouragement with this book. Thank you David, may your flights always bring you joy.
We would also like to thank Sue Quilliam and Ian Grove-Stevenson, for setting us on the right track at the beginning.
Our thanks to Norah McCullagh for much typing, to Francis Vine for research, to Michael Breen for his help in compiling the information on NLP books, and to Carole Marie and Ruth Trevenna for suggestions and encouragement at difficult times.
Many thanks to Eileen Campbell and Elizabeth Hutchins at Thorsons, for their support and concern.
Our acknowledgments to John Fowles and Anthony Sheil Associates Ltd for permission to quote “The Prince and the Magician” from The Magus by John Fowles, published by Jonathan Cape and Sons.
And lastly we owe a debt of gratitude to the inventors of that wonderful machine, the Macintosh computer, for making the actual writing of this book so much easier.
Joseph O'Connor
John Seymour
August 1989