Chapter Seven

 

“You were arrested for…” Meredith was too embarrassed to say the words, and cleared her throat instead. “Goodness gracious, Richard. How on earth did the police know? Were they following you?”

“Actually, no,” Ash replied.

Richard nodded. “The officer was there to put an end to the islanders’ party. Apparently those naming rituals, while not entirely illegal, are frowned upon by the authorities. It was just a negative coincidence. He took me to one of Sevidlam’s larger islands where I was incarcerated for three days before they even sent for my legal representation. I guess the police were trying to figure out whether they would pursue the charges or let me go.”

“How severe,” Meredith said.

“Not really. As a Canadian citizen, I was treated well enough in Sevidlam’s jail. Remember that Sevidlam relies on tourist dollars to sustain its government. Anyway, when good old Ash here walked into my cell, he spoke before I could. ‘Don’t say anything that could incriminate you. The walls have ears.’ I held my tongue.”

Ash picked up the story. “I told Richard, ‘I work for the Sevidlam government and I will be representing you at your tribunal hearing. I am confident I can plead your case successfully and get you out of here. You will be back in Canada by the end of the month, insha’Allah.’ I spoke loudly, for the benefit of the guard posted outside of his cell, and whoever else might have been listening. Then, I leaned in and spoke in a hushed tone. I said, ‘This is a serious charge you are up against. If you are convicted of immoral acts in Sevidlam, you will face a lengthy jail term. You could even be flogged for a crime such as this. I suggest you go along with whatever I say.’”

Richard nodded. “I had confidence in Ash. I knew he would get me off.”

“And he does, every time,” Sheena chuckled from the sliding glass door. Wearing her colorful wrap-around skirt as a dress now, she carried a platter of sandwiches over to the group. Thank goodness for real food! The platter of tropical fruits was hardly sustenance enough after the morning’s work-out.

“Joyce is not feeling well,” Sheena informed the guys and Meredith as they dug into the pile of cheese and lettuce sandwiches. “She has gone to lie down for a while.”

“Oh, I do hope she’s all right. Maybe it’s the heat,” Meredith suggested.

“No,” answered Sheena, “it is the chemo. She feels sick every time she starts a new course, but I think it will help.”

Meredith’s heart fell into her stomach, bubbling and burning in hydrochloric acid. Joyce was seriously ill, and here three of her friends and a relative stranger were gallivanting in her backyard? What were they thinking? “I had no idea Joyce was unwell. Is there anything I can do?”

“Come back to visit her. Joyce loves company. It lifts her spirits.” Sheena smiled. “I feel that Joyce will come through her illness.”

And was Sheena not some sort of mystic? Earlier, she’d sensed so much about Meredith. If Sheena thought Joyce would be fine, it must be the case.

“We’re just telling Meredith how Richard came to be banned from Sevidlam,” Ash informed his wife as the lovely woman snuggled into her husband’s lap.

“Oh, that is an excellent story.”

“It would be if everybody would stop interrupting,” declared the mockingly irritated Richard. “See, Meredith, there are no judges in Sevidlam. Instead, legal proceedings are held before a tribunal of government officials from whichever department is relevant. Two and a half weeks after my arrest, the Department for Morality heard my case. Good thing Sevidlam is such a small country; they don’t have the long wait times for trials we have here. On the day of my hearing, the guard led me into a claustrophobically small room. God, it was so cramped and hot I’m nauseous just thinking about it.” Richard took another bite of his sandwich.

“We sat me at a table in the center of the room,” Ash continued. “In front of us were the men who would determine whether Richard would return to jail or come home to Canada.”

Richard laughed, which seemed out of place. Then, he said, “I remember Ash whispering to me, ‘Just go along with whatever I say and I will get you out of this mess.’”

“And did he?” Meredith asked.

“I’m getting there,” Richard replied. “Okay, so at my right sat officer Elam, the man who’d arrested me. As Elam rose to address the tribunal, I had circus performers doing acrobatics in my stomach. The officer began by saying, ‘Honored tribunal members, two and a half weeks ago I witnessed Richard Clemmons, the man seated next to me, engaging in intimate sexual contact with another man. Mr Clemmons is a visitor to our beautiful country, and has exhibited brazen disobedience of our important moral laws. Your duty is very clear, honored members of the tribunal: issue a lengthy prison sentence to Mr. Clemmons. Thank you.’ Elam nodded resolutely and took his seat. Not so sweet, but at least his accusation was short.

“I looked over at Ash to gauge his reaction. He was staring confidently at the head-table officials. ‘Honored tribunal members, officer Elam’s accusation is both convincing and severe. With his own eyes, he witnessed the man before you engaging in an illegal act with another man. Based on this testimony, I too would advise you to convict Mr Clemmons.’

“My jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe my ears! I was sure I’d been set up, that somebody had it in for me. Fortunately, Ash didn’t stop there. ‘But before you do convict, I have one simple question for officer Elam. Were you ever able to apprehend the individual with whom Mr Clemmons allegedly committed this immoral act?’

“Officer Elam adjusted his tie before answering. ‘No, unfortunately the other man evaded capture. I asked around at the party, but nobody could provide me with any information leading to his arrest.’”

Ash took over. “I then turned my line of questioning to Richard. ‘That is because there was no other man, was there Mr Clemmons?’”

Richard smiled. “I wasn’t sure where Ash was going with that question, but I nodded and said, ‘That’s right; there was no other man.’ After all, Ash told me I would get off if I went along with whatever he said. Still, the next words out of my brilliant lawyer’s mouth could have knocked me over with a feather.”

Ash said, “I stood before the tribunal and announced, ‘Mr Clemmons has informed me that the other individual involved, the individual observed in a compromising circumstance by officer Elam, was not a man at all. That individual was in fact a woman.’ Officer Elam shouted, ‘No, it was certainly not a woman,’ and one of the tribunal members asked, ‘Did you see the individual’s face, officer Elam?’

“‘Well, no,’ Elam responded, ‘but he had short hair and broad shoulders. It was certainly a man. He wore no shirt! Why would a woman be topless?’”

Richard spoke up. “I couldn’t resist calling out, ‘Because it was one hell of a good party.’ It was a chancy move, but the tribunal members all laughed at my joke. No, I tell a lie. One tribunal member at the far end of the head table wasn’t laughing at all. I thought I was in for it until I realized his scowl wasn’t for me. ‘My wife has short hair and a strong back,’ he said. ‘Do you mean to suggest that my wife looks like a man?’

“Elam couldn’t dig his way out of that one. He stammered, ‘No, no, of course not! I would suggest no such thing.’

“The light at the end of the tunnel brightened. The tribunal member addressed me directly, asking, ‘Mr Clemmons, the person you were caught with that night, was that person a woman or a man?’”

“And?” Meredith asked. “What did you say? Did you lie in court?”

“Well, I wanted to respond in a way that would get me off the hook. If all this controversy happened in Canada, I’d like to think I’d have fought for the right to have sex with any willing partner, man or woman. In Sevidlam, I was a chicken. I blame the prison food. From a human rights perspective, of course I should have fought for the cause, made a big stink and hopefully changed the country’s laws. Honestly, though, the chances of a foreigner having any impact on Sevidlam’s statutes were slim and, really, I just wanted to go home.”

“Of course.” Meredith had never been out of the country, but she understood.

“So, I told the tribunal that Elam did indeed spot me with a woman. I claimed that I didn’t dispute the charges before because I didn’t want to disgrace her. We’d only just met and we were out for a good time. I didn’t even catch her name. She was another tourist like me, so she’d probably gone home by now. You have no idea how proud I was for coming up with that relatively convincing story on the spot.

“‘Corpus delicti,’ Ash took over. ‘Mr Clemmons has stated the other party was a woman. Officer Elam claims a man was involved that night, but he is unable to locate this “man” and bring him before for the tribunal. There is thus no proof any crime has taken place. The appropriate action is clear: the tribunal must declare Richard Clemmons innocent.’”

“And that’s precisely what they did,” Ash said. “We won the case.”

“Although I think they were giving me the benefit of the doubt,” Richard added. “I mean, they did ask me never to return to Sevidlam. Even so, I was relieved to go home and eternally grateful to Ash. I was caught with my pants down and Ash got me off.”

With a grin, Ash said, “Before leaving Sevidlam, Richard gave me his address in Canada. He said if he could ever help me out, he would be more than willing.”

“That’s right,” Richard replied. “As Ash and I parted, I leaned in close and asked, ‘How could you know for sure officer Elam wouldn’t be able to identify that “other person” as a man?’ I could hear the smirk in Ash’s voice when he answered, ‘Because I had never seen officer Elam before. If I did not see his face that night, he could not have seen mine.’”

“Goodness gracious!” Meredith cried. “Ash, you were the islander at the party? Oh, you cad, getting poor Richard into trouble like that!”

“It wasn’t his fault,” Richard consoled. “I knew the laws and I could have resisted, but I didn’t want to. I’m just lucky Ash is as good at practicing law as he is at sucking cock.”

“I am convinced the two things are related somehow,” Ash joked.

Sheena kissed her husband on the cheek before continuing where Ash left off. “When our home island was destroyed by Mother Nature, we were left with nothing. Our home, our photographs, my art, everything was destroyed. Nature has a terrible temper sometimes, but we like to believe her rage was directed at our backward government, not at us. For weeks, we lived on a remote island in a camp for environmental refugees. We slept on mats in a huge tent, wearing other people’s old clothing, and having nothing of our own. Strict rules, no privacy. It was like prison. Then Ash considered Richard’s offer of assistance if ever we required it. Fortunately, with Richard’s help and my husband’s status in government, we were granted special permission to come to Canada. Richard was kind enough to get us settled here in Sheridan. The three of us became very well-known in the process.”

“I think you mean, ‘well-acquainted,’” Richard corrected her.

“Yes, thank you,” Sheena laughed. To Meredith she explained, “After many years of schooling, Ash spoke excellent English even when we lived in Sevidlam. I spoke some, but Richard was very kind to help me improve my English when we came to live here.”

“Well, your English is very good.” Meredith felt silly offering such a trite compliment to the woman whose body she’d writhed against only moments ago. But what of the men? Speaking softly in hopes they wouldn’t hear, she asked, “Sheena, none of your husband’s activities trouble you?”

Sheena shook her head vehemently, as if the suggestion were ludicrous. “I have always been the same way as Ash, liking men and liking women. That is why we have such a good marriage, I think. Plus, there is nothing hotter than watching your man get it on with another man.”

Meredith couldn’t argue, though she doubted if Jeff would ever do such a thing.

“I will tell you one part of the story Richard left out,” Sheena giggled, with a wink to her blond friend. “The night of my little nephew’s naming ceremony, it was my fault Richard was arrested. I noticed this stranger with big muscles at the party and I thought it would be sexy to watch him with my husband. It was all my idea for Ash to approach Richard, and I saw everything.”

Sheena seemed remorseful. Her eyes were downcast and her pink lips curled into a frown. Was that a tear on her cheek?

“Water under the bridge, Sheen,” Richard consoled. “Everything worked out in the end. And, hey, I totally agree with you: two cocks are better than one!”

Blushing, Meredith giggled with the men as Sheena wiped away tears with her palm. And then the sliding glass door opened.