Chapter Two

 

That first night, I tossed and turned. By five in the morning I’d decided that touring with a vocal group would be too weird. I liked my apartment, such as it was, and I liked having a home base.

Probably because I hadn’t slept a wink, the next day at work was the worst. Queer thoughts crept into my sleep-deprived mind. Were Steven, Virginia and my mother all… lovers? I hadn’t seen anything to indicate they were. We all lived together in a bus so you’d think I would have known. On the other hand, I was only a child at the time.

As I lay in my bed of insomnia for the second night in a row, I remembered the long-forgotten reason why my mother had insisted I, at fifteen years of age, stay with my grandparents. It was the way I’d started acting around Steven. I remembered standing very close to him and sniffing his neck, saying, “Mmm… you smell good.”

I remembered what a man he became, in my teenaged mind: that streak of white travelling through his dark hair, the broadness of his shoulders, the grit of stubble (by then, he’d shaved his beard) and, more than anything else, the secret inside his pants. I had elaborate, juvenile plans to seduce him, though I really was very naïve at that time. My idea of “seduction” probably didn’t extend much past kissing. If I’d seen his penis, I probably wouldn’t have known what to do with it.

Wow. I’d forgotten all that. My mother obviously picked up on it at the time, but why had she been so adamant about keeping my paws out of Steven’s drawers?

Unless… was Steven my father?

A second night without sleep. I could barely function at work, but my boss wasn’t too hard on me. After all, my mother had recently died. By three in the afternoon, she’d sent me home to get some rest.

When I arrived at my building, Steven and Virginia were waiting for me.

And they’d brought a puppy.

“Oh my god!” I fell to my knees, opened my arms, and the golden ball of fluff jumped up and licked my face. “Where did you get a puppy?”

“It’s for you,” Steven said. “Call it a bribe.”

When I looked up into his soft grey eyes, I remembered last night’s revelation. As the puppy licked my chin, I relived the attraction I’d felt for Steven when I was fifteen years old. If I’d been standing, my knees would have buckled.

And then another sensation took over. What if he really was my father? What if my father was sending that tingle between my legs? The idea was just… horrifying.

I stood up and the puppy whimpered imploringly. “I don’t know if it’s such a good idea, coming on tour. I mean…”

What was my excuse? My mind went blank.

The puppy barked, and Virginia bent down to pet him. As she did, her long folksy dress fell open and I caught myself staring at her gorgeous breasts. They were naked. No bra. Nothing at all. And, for a woman just a few years younger than my mother, they were surprisingly perky. Lovely round globes of sun-warmed flesh. I imagined sucking them, and experienced the same shiver I’d felt when I thought about Steven that way.

Lock up your folk singers—Winter’s on the loose!

“We respect your opinion,” Steven told me. “The puppy is yours no matter what. We wouldn’t be that cruel.”

Absently, I said, “If I came with you, it would be your puppy too.”

When Virginia glanced up, she caught me gazing down her dress. I looked away in embarrassment, feeling a blush consume my face. I thought for sure she’d hold her swooping neckline close to her chest after that, but she didn’t. She just smiled serenely and said, “We could all be a family again.”

“Just like when you were growing up,” Steven added.

I dropped to my knees and let the puppy lick my face. “It wouldn’t be exactly like when I was a kid, because now my mom is gone. It would just be the three of us.”

“The three of us and a puppy,” Virginia said.

Out of nowhere, I blurted out my gravest concern: “Were you and my mom lovers? Is Steven my father?”

Virginia gazed up at him, momentarily stricken. Just when I thought they were going to confirm my suspicion, they both burst out laughing. “Steven isn’t your father, honey. Your father was just a fan your mom took kindly to.”

“That’s what she always told me,” I said. “But I guess I didn’t believe her. Especially because the name she gave me… I’ve searched it on the internet but there was no trace of him.”

Steven got down on his knees, grasping my thigh for support before he joined in petting the dog. “We know where your father is, Winter. Come on tour with us and we’ll be sure to pass that way.”

“You mean it?” I asked. “You can help me find my father?”

The warmth and strength of Steven’s grip sent tendrils of pleasure between my legs. He nodded and Virginia nodded, and I fought the forbidden feeling pulsing at the apex of my thighs, but it wouldn’t go away. It stayed with me as they smiled lovingly, with their mouths and their eyes. It stayed with me as I watched them stroke my dog’s floppy little ears.

It stayed with me until I said, “I changed my mind. I want to go.”