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I stuck to my evening sand-art plan. Part visual diary, part challenge, my exhibition was a daily look into my mind over the space of a month. Nobody except me would know or care if I missed a day, but I clung to the routine. It helped provide structure to my life.
The empty patch of sand stared back at me, mocking my indecision. It didn’t help that I was only a few minutes’ walk from Jasper’s house. Delicious smells of barbecued food drifted on the light breeze, along with sounds of music and laughter. People enjoying themselves.
Inspiration struck, and I fell back on song lyrics. “Hiding,” by Event Horizon.
Strip away my skin.
See me as I am.
Zack never saw me. Not the real me. I was always Marnie’s friend—and what a shitty friend I turned out to be. The one point in her life when she needed me, when her boyfriend was beating her up and stealing every ounce of her confidence, I wasn’t there. I was too busy getting high with my college friends. Every weekend I planned to visit, something would crop up to keep me in Wellington. A party, a new night club... And then it was too late, and she was gone.
My exhibition was dedicated to her memory, but no matter how successful it might be, I’d swap it in a heartbeat to have her back again.
King whined and nudged at me. “I’m sorry, boy,” I murmured. “I’ve been neglecting you. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
I dotted a few musical notes and a giant clef symbol around the quote, then carefully scratched out the band name at the bottom, before signing it.
The image was good, but it felt empty. I felt empty. I took pictures, one after the other. None of them met my expectations.
I packed my camera into its case, well away from any invading grains of sand, and sat down. King flopped down next to me and placed his head in my lap. He always knew how I felt.
“You saved me,” I told him. “If I do something stupid, there’ll be nobody to look after you, and I won’t abandon you.”
Burying my face in his thick ruff, I pretended I was fine.
I longed to go to the nearest pub and get drunk, or score some weed and smoke myself into a stupor.
No. I was better than that. I’d walk back to my tiny apartment, drink iced water, and maybe watch a TV show on Netflix. Something funny.
I didn’t move. The sun slid down the sky in a riot of red and gold, and I watched the colours unfold and shift. It was beautiful. As night fell, the party noise rose, and when they played an Event Horizon number, I sang along.
I should go. It would be dark soon.
Someone splashed through the shallows a few metres away, and I squinted to see them better. Another dog walker? A night fisherman?
Dean.
He stopped when he reached me, and bent over to catch his breath. “Hey, sandy girl.” His voice was gruff. His face was in shadow. I couldn’t tell if he was pleased to see me.
Up to that moment, I didn’t realise how much I craved company. “Hey,” I said.
“What are you doing out here in the dark?”
Moping? “Not much. Watching the sunset.”
“Uh huh.” He stared at me. “You okay?”
“Sure.” I needed to work on sounding convincing.
“Can I join you?”
“Be my guest.”
He dropped to the sand, and we sat in silence for a minute. His breathing quickly returned to normal. He had to be fit. Well—duh. He was a fireman.
“I guess that’s the party Lou was talking about? Looks like half the village is there.” He sounded amused.
“Yes.” I chewed my lip. “Why didn’t you want to go?”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Parties aren’t my thing.” Not any more.
“Same.”
King shuffled across to Dean, before rolling onto his back with a grunt. He was normally leery of strangers, so he must think Dean to be okay.
“Where were you the last few nights?” I blurted out the question and wanted the ground to open beneath me.
“Miss me?” He turned to face me, and I shrugged. “I work shifts,” he said.
I felt stupid. Why didn’t I think of that?
“What was tonight’s picture?” he asked. “It’s too dark to see it.”
“Song lyrics. It looked good.”
“What do you do with the pictures?”
“They’re for a solo exhibition, next month.”
“Yeah? That’s cool. Where is it?”
His enthusiasm warmed me. “The Peka Peka Gallery, near the library. It’ll be on for a week.”
“I’ll have to take a look. You done this before?”
“This is my first.”
“In that case, congratulations.” He leaned into me and gently knocked his shoulder against mine. “Do you wanna celebrate? We could go get a drink.”
The correct answer would be, No, thank you, but tonight I needed it. “Okay. Where?”
“I need to shower first. Or sit outside, where nobody will mind my sweat.” He hesitated. “I’m staying in a cottage just up the beach. You can come back with me, if you’d like? Just for a drink.”
“I’d like that. Thank you.” Funny how my manners came rushing back at the prospect of alcohol.
“I don’t think we can get away from the party crowd, though. My place is even closer.” Dean pushed to his feet and held out a hand to me. His grip was warm and strong. He released me as soon as I stood, and I missed the contact.
One drink. My meds advised no alcohol, but that was a standard warning.
I’d be fine.