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The day, previously wonderful, turned up another, fabulous notch. We walked around the tidal inlet, hands linked, and admired the views. Boats bobbed on the calm water, and children splashed in the shallows, while a group of teenagers kayaked in bright-orange life jackets. Everything bubbled with life and colour. If I had to take my emotional temperature right now, it’d be the opposite of anxious and depressed.
Our conversations sprang to life. A movie we both loved. Bands we listened to. Food. I’d never eaten Tapas, and Dean had never tried the kiwi classic of mince on toast.
“Never?” I asked.
“Nu huh. And if that’s an example of Wellington high cuisine, I’m not impressed.”
“Maybe student cuisine. And a stock breakfast in a lot of cafés. Wellington has some of the best fish and chips in the country, you know.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I pretended to square up to him. “I won’t let you badmouth my city. You liked it last night.”
“I liked a lot of things last night.” He smirked, and my inner girl squealed in delight.
“Are we still talking about food?” I asked.
Dean shook his head in mock disbelief. “You have a filthy mind, little sandy girl.” He tugged me closer and stole a kiss. “I like it.”
I couldn’t wait to get back to his cottage.
*
We went via my apartment, so that I could grab some food for King, and the essentials to go to Dean’s with me—clean panties for the morning, my toothbrush, and my camera for my evening sand art. We decided dinner would be pizza, at the restaurant on the beachfront. It was one of my favourite places to eat, and it’d be the perfect appetiser for a hot night with my lover. Could the day get any better?
The restaurant bustled with customers, but we were given a quiet table in the conservatory, where King could lie at my feet and not be in the way.
Dean let go of my hand and pulled out a chair for me, and that was when I saw who else was there.
Zack and Holly, with Jasper and his girlfriend.
They didn’t see me at first. Zack was busy kissing Holly’s fingers, while Jasper teased them, his girlfriend smiling at his side.
Zack looked happier than I’d ever seen him.
It felt like an icy punch to my gut. I wanted to leave—dash outside before they noticed me. I’d make some excuse to Dean. A good reason for changing my mind about pizza.
Too late. Holly saw me. She lifted her eyebrows and glanced at her fiancé. Jasper turned around, and our gazes met. His girlfriend was the first to move. Caitlin. She was friendly at the gym.
I had to speak to Zack. To congratulate him. To show I was done being a silly child and I wouldn’t embarrass him any further.
Meanwhile Dean claimed his seat and spoke. I didn’t hear it over the anxious buzzing in my ears.
Caitlin waved to me. “Hey,” she said, cheerful as before. “It’s Steph, right?
“Yes.”
Dean stared at me, his brows quirked. He looked puzzled, but not concerned.
The glorious day now felt like a shower of ash. It didn’t take much to plunge me into despair.
“Friends of yours?” Dean asked, his face open and honest.
I nodded. I had to do this. And it was the right time.
I shoved my chair back, careful to avoid King’s paws, and walked on unsteady legs to Zack’s table.
They gazed at me. The silence was jarring. I mustn’t fuck this up.
“Hi,” I managed, my mouth dry. Here goes. “Congratulations. I heard about the engagement.” My voice wobbled, but I kept my shit together. Just. “I hope you’ll be very happy.”
Say something. Please.
Zack smiled and let go of Holly’s hand. “Thanks.” He stood and held out his arms to me. It seemed to happen in slow motion.
I could no more refuse than I could stop breathing. I stepped into his embrace, and he squeezed me tight.
“You’re one of my links to Marnie,” he said into my ear. “I know you loved her too.”
I closed my eyes and revelled in the moment. I breathed in his fragrance. I’d never have this like I wanted, but it didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. While I puzzled over that, Zack disengaged and ruffled the hair on the top of my head. “Going to introduce us, Steph?”
Dean was already on his feet, hand held out to Zack. They were a similar height, both with broad shoulders and bursting with confidence.
“I’m Zack Winter. This is my gorgeous fiancée, Holly, her brother, Jasper, and his girlfriend, Caitlin.” Zack smiled at me. “I’ve known Steph since she was at Kindy.”
“Dean Logan,” my lover replied, shaking hands. “Good to meet you.” He placed his free hand in the middle of my back. It centred me. Turning to me, he spoke in a low voice. “Are we staying, or do you want to go somewhere else?”
Dean was smart. I didn’t tell him Zack’s name, but he’d put the pieces together. I loved him in that moment. For claiming me, and for looking out for me.
I turned to face him, and he wrapped his arms around me.
“I don’t know,” I whispered.