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I stared at Dean’s black eye. “What the hell happened to you?”
He lifted a hand to shush me. “It’s nothing. I’ll tell you later.”
Nothing, my ass. My mind spun. Was he in another fight? Is that why his workmates were avoiding him? Was he okay?
He didn’t want to talk about it, and I’d accept that for the moment, but it didn’t sit well with me. I grabbed his hand and threaded our fingers together, before resting them on his thigh. This drew a hint of a smile.
The lights dimmed, and the trailers started, and I tried to focus on the film. It was hard. My concentration was fragmented and focused on the guy next to me.
It was a high-action movie. Everyone seemed to be on the edge of their seat, except me. I felt oddly detached. I couldn’t wait for it to be over, so I could talk to Dean. Understand what happened today.
As last, the credits rolled, and the houselights came up. Conversation buzzed all around, but I stood and tugged at Dean’s hand. “I need fresh air,” I said and headed toward the exit.
“What did you think?” he asked. “When they were hiding on the alien ship? Man, that was brutal.”
I waited until we were outside and clear of the crowd behind us, before I spoke. “It was good, yeah. Thanks for inviting me.” I turned to face him and caught his other hand. “Now tell me what the fuck happened to you today.”
“I told you, it was nothing.”
“Nothing? If I punched you in the eye, it couldn’t look worse. Try again, Fireman Logan.”
“It’s Station Officer Logan.”
“Pffft. And you’re changing the subject.”
He shook his head, and then remote-unlocked his car. “Let’s go.” He opened the passenger door, waited for me to get in, then closed it behind me.
I stayed quiet until he fastened his seatbelt. “You said you’d tell me. Please, Dean. I don’t know what to think.”
“My watch mates are assholes. We don’t mesh well.”
“And?”
“Jesus, Steph.” He gripped the wheel with both hands. “I froze. I fucking froze. It was the first fire I attended since Hal died.”
I squeezed his thigh. A reminder that I was there for him.
“Yeah,” he said. “So they said a few things, and it didn’t end well.” He touched the swelling beneath his eye. “I need to learn how to keep my temper under control. The Chief Fire Officer, Tim, wants me to go to counselling. Like that’s gonna help.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I wish there was something I could do.”
“Thanks. I need to bite my tongue and keep my head down. The sooner the inquiry finishes, the sooner I can say fuck you to these jerks and get back to my real life.”
There wasn’t much I could say to that.
Dean dropped me at my place and didn’t ask about coming in or making the evening last longer.
*
Dean called in for coffee the next morning and told me he was on the night shift tonight and tomorrow. He stood there, shades in place and a delectable layer of scruff across his jaw, and flashed me a tired smile. “I probably won’t see you until Saturday. I’ll grab a few hours’ sleep after Friday’s shift ends, and then pick you up around noon. Does that work?”
“Yes, of course. How are you today? You look tired.”
He shrugged. “Didn’t sleep well.”
Neither did I, but I didn’t have to stay up all night. “Look after yourself today. Okay?”
“Always do.” He nodded to me, turned on his heel, and left the café.
Lou stood at my side, serving baked goods to the customers. “You two are still a thing, then?”
“Not really.” I smiled at using Dean’s phrase. “We’re just friends.” Her eyebrows dipped, and I held up my hands. “Honest to God. We’re friends. That’s all.”
She cocked her head to one side. “So”—she drew the word out—“you wouldn’t mind me making a play for him, then?”
I don’t know what she saw on my face, but she smirked. “Thought so,” she said in a sing-song voice. “He’s not my type, anyway. And today, sister, we make you even more gorgeous.”
Today was haircut-day, and I was mildly stressing about it, along with worrying about Dean. “I don’t know what to do with King. We’re going to be out all afternoon,” I said.
“That’s easy. He’ll go with us, and I’ll take him for a walk while you’re being pampered. There’s an epic beach at Petone, and he’ll love it.”
Lou drove us to her cousin’s salon, over an hour away, on the other side of Wellington. Jojo had only opened it recently, and wanted models to show off her haircuts. She’d cut and colour my hair for free, in exchange for taking my picture and using it for promotion. That suited me.
I couldn’t bear to have it cut short, but Jojo was careful and cut it to hang just beneath my shoulders, as opposed to halfway down my back. I gazed at the locks of my hair littering the floor. This was going to look different. The colouring process took ages, but the end result was amazing. My previously blonde hair was now a warm burnt-caramel colour with a smattering of golden streaks shot through, as though I’d been out in the sun.
I gazed at it in wonder. Was this really me? I looked so different. Jojo was thrilled and took dozens of pictures from all angles. “You look beautiful,” she said. “This suits you much better than your natural colour.”
She was right. It gave my face depth and made my skin look warmer. The ditzy blonde was gone. It was a whole new me.
I couldn’t wait for Dean’s reaction.
*
Lou beamed at my hair like a proud mother. I’d never seen her look so pleased. “Let’s grab a drink before we head back,” she said.
“I... um... don’t drink.”
She rolled her eyes. “I meant coffee. My bad. I never drink when I’m driving.”
“What about King?” I asked.
Lou tucked her arm through mine. “Another of my cousins owns the best café in town, and we can absolutely take your boy with us. I wouldn’t suggest it otherwise.”
I liked being around Lou. Her confidence was reassuring, and I felt flattered that she liked my company. What did she see in me? She’d taken me under her wing, for whatever reason. Maybe I should roll with it?
We were greeted by her cousin, Dillon—a giant of a man, who fussed over King with delight, and then guided us to a quiet table at the back of the café.
“I’ve got the French chocolate cake freshly made, if you want that.” His voice was surprisingly soft for his size.
Lou clapped her hands in glee. “God. Yes please.” She grinned at me. “This is da bomb. Better than Jacques makes, but don’t tell him I said that. And two of your dirty chai lattes, please, Dill. Steph hasn’t tried one of those yet.”
I let her order, happy to bask in her approval. When Dillon left, I asked about the drink. “Give in. I adore chai latte, but what’s a dirty one?”
“He adds a shot of espresso and a spoonful of dark-chocolate powder. So it’s like a cross between a mocha and a chai.” She smacked her lips. “Better than sex.”
“You’ve said that before.” I was very amused. “All I can say is, you’re having the wrong kind of sex.”
She laughed. “Go, you. We don’t all have yummy firefighters in our beds.”
I gazed down at King, uncomfortable with the way the conversation was going. I didn’t know Lou well enough to confide in her. “We’re friends,” I said.
“Suuure.”
The waitress arrived at that moment with two giant slabs of chocolate cake. I was glad for the interruption.
“I have to ask Jacques to make this,” said Lou, as she dug into her slice with a fork. “So I keep meaning to ask—why Peka Peka for you? I mean, I grew up here. Apart from escaping to Uni for a while, I doubt I’ll ever leave.”
“I wanted to get out of the city, and my best friend used to live here. I came here on holiday a few times, and thought, why not?” It would also bring me closer to Zack, and look how that worked out. “Don’t you ever want to live somewhere else?”
Lou kept her gaze fixed on the cake in front of her. “I’m not like you, all adventurous and stuff. I know I look like a hard case, with the ink and the hair, but I’m not.” She glanced up at me and pulled a face. “I was so stressed when I was at Uni. I hated living away from home. My family is here, and that’s both a good and a bad thing. I’ve got four brothers breathing down my neck, and cousins everywhere. Twelve at the last count, including Dillon and Jojo. Did you meet Tane at the gym?”
I nodded.
“Another one. Honestly, we’re everywhere. I joke that the Morrins are taking over the world, one town at a time. Or at least, New Zealand.”
I laughed, and she nudged me gently with her elbow.
“That’s better,” she said. “Now tell me—when are you seeing your friend again? When will he get the chance to admire your fantastic new hairstyle?”
“I’m not sure. He’s on nights until Saturday, so it might not be until then.” There was something I wanted to ask Lou, and I contemplated how to phrase it. “The other day, you warned me away from Dean. But now you like him. What’s changed?”
“Oh.” She was intensely fascinated with her cake. “I talked to Leanne, you know. Tim’s wife.”
“Yes, I met them. What did Leanne say?”
“That I’d jumped to conclusions. That half the stories about him aren’t true.”
“Only half?” It was a joke. I was busy processing her admission.
She didn’t laugh. “He’s a nice guy with a bad rep. But reputations start somewhere. There’s no smoke without fire. Be careful. That’s all.”
I trusted Dean, but Lou’s words sent a shiver down my spine.