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Dean flinched, and my heart plummeted. Shit. This was what I feared—that it’d been drunk-speak. I wrapped my arms around my chest and concentrated on breathing. I wasn’t giving in to tears this time.
“Why would you think I didn’t mean it?” He sounded baffled.
Wait. What? I swallowed and tried to speak past the lump that had appeared in my throat. “You were drunk when you said it, and then you disappeared. For days. What was I supposed to think?”
“Fuck.” He sat back in his seat, head thunking against the headrest. “I’m sorry. I’ve fucked up.” He shook his head. “You must think I’m the biggest asshole to walk the planet.”
I shrugged. “Maybe?”
“I went into Wellington, to visit Aaron and Cory, and then while I was there, I took a call from Belle. My ex.”
I know who she is. I kept that little retort quiet, and nodded for him to continue.
“We used to hang out together. Me and Belle, and Hal and Lisa. And when Belle heard about Lisa, she rang me. I dropped everything, went straight to the airport, and grabbed the first seat I could get. I sent you a text. I wanted to get there as quickly as I could, and everything else seemed unimportant.”
Dean reached out with both hands, but I refused to take them. He let them drop into his lap. “I should have told you, but I was freaking out.”
“That was on Wednesday, right?”
“I think so. The days all bled into one. Before I knew it, it was Saturday morning, and I realised I was going to miss your show. And I have to tell you, that made me feel like shit. I ordered the flowers and tried to call you, but you didn’t pick up.”
I studied him, and he gazed back at me. He looked exhausted.
“By this time,” he continued, “Lisa was conscious and talking again, and she asked me what the fuck I was doing.”
“What do you mean?”
He smiled, but it was touch and go. “I told her about you. She told me to get my ass down here before I messed it up. So here I am.”
My brain got stuck on one detail. “You told her about me? What about Belle?”
“Huh? I don’t know what you mean.”
“Weren’t you staying with Belle?”
“No. Why would I?”
“Well, I thought you said it was your house.”
“I stayed with my parents. And I told Belle about you, too. She was great. She wants to meet you.”
This was weird, like some freaky parallel universe. “You told your ex you’re seeing me? And she wants to meet me?”
“I told everyone I’ve fallen in love with you. I didn’t have a very good way of communicating it to you.” He leaned forward and cupped my face with his hands. “I’m sorry. I’ll say it every single day if I have to. Please tell me I haven’t fucked things up with you, just as we’re getting started?”
I couldn’t be mad when he looked at me like I was the most important thing in his universe. That probably mirrored how I stared at him. “No, you haven’t. But Dean, talk to me next time, ’kay? I thought you’d gone. Like fucked-off, gone. I can’t tell you what that felt like.”
“Listen to me, little sandy girl. You burrowed under every one of my defences and forced me to be honest with myself. You showed me what love is, and I’m not gonna to let that slip away like it means nothing. You’re the most important thing in my life.”
Gods. I was tearing up, despite my best intentions. This man... He said I got under his defences, and I got that. I really did.
He covered the distance and claimed a searing kiss. “I love you, Steph. The you that puts on a fantastic exhibition, and the you that dances on the sand with me. I love every part of you. I love spanking your lily-white ass, and I love watching you come apart in my arms. I’m yours, babe.”
“What happens when you finish at Peka Peka?” I squeaked the question. “Are you going back to Auckland?” The idea of moving there made my chest tight, but I’d consider it if there was no alternative.
“Trying to get rid of me already?” He smiled, and it looked bashful. “I’ve been looking into permanent transfer options. I might be able to get into a station in Wellington in a few months.”
“Wellington? Seriously? You’d do that for me?”
“No, Steph.” His smile was gone. “I’d do it for us. I’d do just about anything for you, little sandy girl. I love you. Don’t you know that?”
“I think I need to hear it again. Every day?”
He kissed me again. “How about I tell you in bed? We’ve got some catching up to do.”
“Yes, please.”
There was another kiss that turned my world upside down, and then Dean spoke again, his words vibrating against my lips. “My place or yours?”