Tess spent the early morning reading over news reports about the body found up north near Bellingham. The Jane Doe was approximately twelve or thirteen. Blonde hair. Small for her age. She'd been shot, according to Michael. The ME found a bullet in the dirt once the tree had been moved away and the site excavated for evidence.
Michael said the girl also had zip ties around her wrists, indicating she'd been restrained before her death. Had she been taken there and executed? Or had she run and then was killed when she was found hiding under the tree? Whatever the case, it was a horrific death.
A sense of gloom overtook Tess at the thought of the poor child running away from abuse only to end up dead, buried under a tree.
She read over the files at the Missing website, searching for young girls who had gone missing in the past year. There were only a couple who might have been the victim they had found in the forest. She had to keep in mind that not every child who ran away was reported missing. Some weren't reported missing for several days, because they had been running away frequently and were often truant from school. One girl in particular caught her eye. Tracy Kemp. Missing for half a year. She lived with her mother, stepfather, older brother and sister. She'd been caught shoplifting and had been couch surfing at her friend's houses, so the parents hadn't been concerned when she didn't show up one Friday night. She often spent the weekend at a friend's place and came back during the week for school. The father had thrown his hands up over the precocious thirteen-year old who looked younger than her age in the photos provided to the press once she was reported missing. On the following Monday, the school reported that she hadn't shown up and demanded that the father make sure she attended school.
The parents called police and reported her missing on the Tuesday when none of her friends reported seeing her after Friday at the mall. A vulnerable girl, probably lured into leaving the mall with a guy who promised to provide her with money or drugs, maybe thinking the young man was a potential boyfriend. Girls that age and from deprived backgrounds often lived in a fantasy world where a handsome older guy would find them attractive and be their boyfriend, like their own Prince Charming. Tess had read enough interviews with girls who had been caught up in the sex trade to know what likely happened. In Tracy Kemp's case, she probably thought she'd get a modeling job, although the girl still looked like a pre-pubescent child.
There were several ways into the child sex industry. Occasionally, girls ran away and were 'rescued' by their pimp, who provided them with a place to live and some kind of family life. Soon, they'd be turned out, doing tricks to help support themselves and their new drug habit. Sometimes, a girl was abducted and sold into the industry, the way Lisa had been. The worst was when a child was sold into the trade by their own parents or guardians.
That was the saddest of all, and made Tess often wonder whether people should get a license to have children the way they do to get married. That would never happen, and in the meantime, anyone who had working gonads could get pregnant and have a child, regardless of their ability or willingness to care for them.
Based on what Tess read about her background, Tracy was one of them. She matched the preliminary description of the remains found near Bellingham and Tess had a sinking feeling in her gut that it was Tracy.
The police would do a DNA test to rule her out and that would be ready in a couple of days. Until then, it was a waiting game, so Tess continued reviewing missing persons cases, ruling them in or out based on timing and physical descriptions, but increasingly, it looked like Tracy was the girl. There were a few girls who had gone missing in Washington, Oregon, California and Idaho over the past decade with fair hair and around Tracy's age. It could be any one of them, depending on how long she had been dead.
It made Tess sadder than she had been in a long while, reading over Tracy's file at the Missing website. Sitting there in the apartment at her desk, tears overcame her, and she covered her eyes. She didn't know why she was crying. It wasn't the first missing persons case file she'd read. It wasn't the first death she'd covered. The reality of the world, it's evil, just hit her that morning especially hard for some reason.
The door opened and in walked Michael, home from his run.
"Hey," he said when he saw her crying. "What's the matter?" He came directly over to her and after removing his ear pods, he bent down and slipped his arms around her, pulling her up into his arms. He kissed her and wiped tears off her cheeks. "A case got to you?"
He glanced down at her laptop's screen and must have seen the image of Tracy Kemp from the Missing's website.
She nodded, not trusting her voice and then buried her face in the crook of his neck.
He held her, not speaking, just providing her with the warmth and comfort she needed. Soon, her sadness waned a bit and Michael led her over to the sofa, pulling her down to sit beside him, his arm still around her.
"Tell me," he said softly.
She shook her head. "I don't know," she said. "Sometimes, I think of all the girls and how afraid they must have been, how much pain they felt before they died. It takes me back to that night, I guess."
"Have you been doing the meditation your therapist suggested?"
Tess nodded, but she really hadn't been focused on her own recovery. She'd been diagnosed with PTSD from the events around Eugene's capture, but she felt weak, like she couldn't handle what happened. It was Elena who had really suffered, not Tess. Elena was back at school, doing well, all things considered.
Tess was still having nightmares about Eugene with his night vision goggles.
During the day, she'd often be caught up in a random memory of that night and her heart rate would increase, a thin sheen of sweat form on her body as if her brain was preparing her to run or fight and didn't know which.
"You just need more time," Michael said and squeezed her more tightly. He kissed her forehead. "You always worry about me becoming involved in cases, but I could say the same about you. Maybe you should pull back a bit for a while and let someone else cover the case. Isn't there some cub reporter at the Sentinel who would kill to do your job for a while?"
Tess shook her head. "If I can't handle what happened to me, what kind of FBI Special Agent will I be? I have to be able to handle the stress of the job or I might as well continue being a reporter."
"You need time," Michael replied and tilted her chin up so she had to look in his eyes. "I was the same after the Colin Murphy case. I had nightmares and memories of Colin's body in the closet would appear in my mind's eye at any time of the day or night. I still have nightmares sometimes," he said and sighed. "I'm not one-hundred percent over it. Maybe I never will be, but I'm good enough now to keep working. You will be, too, one day. I don't think we ever really get over it, but we learn to live with the memories. They intrude less often. Scar tissue forms and we keep on working. That's the way it is with law enforcement and in any job where you deal with the worst aspects of humanity. Cops. Trauma surgeons. EMTs. Firefighters. Soldiers."
Tess nodded and forced a smile. "I know you're right. I'm still processing it, I guess. I just wish I could block out the memories and I'd be fine."
"That will happen, with time. A while ago, I couldn't even say Colin's name without breaking into a sweat. Now, I feel sad, but I am starting to be able to think of him abstractly. Like he's a sad statistic rather than a personal failure."
"You didn't fail," Tess said, reaching up to stroke Michael's cheek. "You just didn't succeed. Lawson did, but you had an impossible task. He was smart and was really careful. Not careful enough because you did catch him. He's rotting in prison right now because of you and your team. You should be happy that he can't hurt anyone else."
Michael nodded, but his eyes still seemed pained. "I know. But he killed Colin. Slowly. Reviving him and then choking him into unconsciousness again and again. We didn't make it in time."
"Look at the two of us," Michael said, shaking his head slowly. "Two wounded warriors, still licking our wounds."
"I'm hardly a warrior," Tess said and rubbed Michael's shoulder. "I shot the gun twice. Both times were lucky shots. What I should have done was aimed for his center of mass, but I didn't want to kill him outright."
"Honestly, if you had, it would have saved the justice system a whole lot of money incarcerating him and bringing him to justice and then having him sit on death row for years before being executed. In my mind, it would be too humane for him to have died by a bullet from your gun. This way, he suffers, and we get to see justice done."
Tess shrugged. She wasn't a fan of the death penalty in general, worried that innocent people would be executed and even one death of an innocent would be too high a price, but for serial killers like Eugene? She would relent on her abolitionist sentiments.
"He'll get what's coming to him," Tess said finally. "Let's not talk about him anymore. I'll probably have a nightmare tonight as a result of thinking of him."
"I'm sorry," Michael said. I shouldn't have brought him up."
"No, I brought it up. Let's forget about everything for a while, okay?"
They kissed and did exactly that.
Later, after Michael finished getting ready to leave for work, Tess followed him to the front entry. She watched while he slipped on a jacket, his weapon holstered at his hip, his badge in his pocket.
"Let me know what you can about the case," Tess said. "If they identify her, I want to know so I can do a background story on her. Kate will want me to be on top of it."
Michael bent down to tie his boots. "I'll call you the minute I hear anything. I'll give you whatever details I can," he said and stood when he was finished. "This morning, I'm going to have a little chat with Mickey. See if he can clear up a few details. Once I know, I'll call you. It's currently privileged info so I can't say right now but once we confirm it, I'll let you know."
"Great. Sounds like some kind of issue?" she asked, wondering if they had run into a snag in the case against Mickey.
"Just a weird detail that I hope to clear up. Once we have an ID, the Chief will want to do a press conference, update the public on the status of the case."
"Thanks," she said and adjusted the collar of Michael's jacket. "See you for supper? Maybe a cold beer first and then a burger at Frank's?"
"Sounds perfect."
They kissed again and Michael was gone.
Alone again, Tess finished getting ready herself. She had the morning off and after lunch, had an interview scheduled with one of the family members of the missing girls she was investigating.
It wasn't an interview she was looking forward to, but such was the life of a crime reporter.